Operation: Assassination
by AmazonTurk
Summary: The Turks are recruiting new members. Their initiation? Assassination. Submit job application within.
1. It Begins

**_A/N: I know, I know. I have a lot of things in the pipeline right now and the last thing I need is another story. Too damn bad. This came to me last night. I want to be a Turk. And I figured there may be others out there who want to be Turks as well. So, here's the deal. Give me a name (fictional or otherwise), a physcial description (again, fictional or otherwise), a person you would like to assassinate (fictional, because we don't want to get any legal reprocussions killing people, right??), the Turk recruits specialties and an object to assassinate them with. I'll do me first, okay? To show you how it works. _**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing._**

**_The original characters in this fanfiction are strickly fictional. Any similarities of physical descriptions or names to any real person, living or deceased, is purely coincidental._**

_

* * *

_Heels clicked against the marble floor as the new executive assistant made her way to the CEO's office, carrying with her the documents he requested. Her dirty blond hair was pulled back in a conservative bun, her black rimmed glasses sitting precisely on her nose as she power walked down the corridors to the office. Knocking softly, she waited. 

"Come in."

Opening the mahogany door, she stepped in, striding purposefully into the richly decorated office. She handed the documents to the man behind the desk. "Here is the paperwork you requested, Sir," she said in a clipped tone.

Thames studied her. "Are you new?" he asked, glancing at the documents.

"Yes Sir," she replied. "I was sent over from the Temporary Urgent Request Kiosk Staffing firm to fill the need of your company."

Thames went through the documents, wincing as he sliced open a finger on the edge of the paper. "Damn," he grumbled, placing the bleeding digit in his mouth. "Thank you."

She nodded. "Will there be anything else then, Sir?" she asked, watching with a hidden smirk as his face paled and beads of sweat appeared on his forehead.

He shook his head, his last living act as the poison coursed through his blood stream and ceased the beating of his heart, his head slamming onto his desk.

"Very well," she said, adjusting her gloves. "Then I believe I'll be leaving. Good day, Sir."

* * *

The young woman exited the building and hailed a taxi on the street. The bald cabbie looked in his rearview mirror at her as she removed the glasses and the dirty blond wig. "How'd it go?" he asked.

She shot him a grin, running her fingers through her own dark brown, red streaked hair. "Perfect," she said. "He's in his office. Cleaning staff should find him tonight."

"Good work."

"Thanks Rude."

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated using highly potent form of arsenic covering the edges of documents.**

**Turk Assigned: Kandi**

**Status: Rookie**

**Speciality: Hi-tech espionage, hacking, undercover ops**

**Target: Matthew Thames, CEO BigTime Brokerage**

**Death by: Papercut**

**Mission Successful**

* * *


	2. Password:  Dorkfish

**_A/N: This one is for my friend Katrina._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing._**

* * *

The young woman the Temporary Urgent Request Kiosk Staffing firm sent over had very little experience in aquarium maintainence, but she would suffice for now. She was washing the outside of the 100,000 gallon tank, removing the smudges and fingerprints left from the demon spawn of the aquarium's patrons. At least she was keeping busy. 

"Richard Cranium," a voice over the intercom squawked. "You are needed at Tank Two in fifteen minutes. Tank Two in fifteen minutes for Richard Cranium."

Richard Cranium was the Website Engineer for the Aquariaum. He specialized in developing the unique visual effects that were viewed on the Aquarium's website, depicting the different types of marine life displayed. His pressence at Tank Two indicated that a new type of aquatic creature had arrived and was ready for him to photograph.

The temporary employee picked up her box of cleaning supplies and made her way back to her supply closet, whistling a tune as she studied her handy work on the glass. Tank Two never shone so bright. It would give the people the perfect view of the new exhibit.

* * *

"All right, Richard," the head diver told him. "The aggressive fish have been removed for the time being, to allow you a better chance to get a clear shot of the Sand Shark. So, no pirahana and no electric eel are in there." 

"Great," Richard said adjusting his diving mask and inserting his mouth piece before diving into the large tank. He grasped his camera in his hands as he swam to the bottom of the tank, the plastic housing protecting the expensive piece of equipment from the water. He found the desired marine life and began to take shot after shot of it, his flash bulb startling some of the smaller fish away from his target.

A small pen light held in her hands, the temporary maintainence woman set out a serious of dots and dashes with the bulb, watching with a smirk as a small school of about 500 large sea bass made their way to diver. Of one mind, the sea bass attacked the diver, crushing him under the weight of their multitude.

"Richard!" the head diver exclaimed, watching with horror as the man's body was repeatedly pummeled by the ill tempered marine creatures, his ribs caved in and his skull bashed open. Blood filtered through the water, crimson stains seen clearly on the outside of the tank, thanks to the dedication of the temporary employee, who had clocked out for the day.

* * *

Red hair escaped from under the ball cap she had wore, her hands deftly unfastening the buttons of her maintainence overalls. She hopped into a florist's van that was parked five blocks away from the Aquarium. 

"Well?" asked the black haired driver of the van.

"Done," she replied with a smirk.

Tseng returned the smirk. "Excellent."

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated using ultra violet light communication to trigger rage in marine life.**

**Turk Assigned: Katrina**

**Status: Rookie**

**Speciality: Dominatrix assassin, undercover ops, marine biology**

**Target: Richard Cranium, Website Engineer for The Aquarium**

**Death by: Ill Tempered Sea Bass**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

_**A/N: This was her request, by the way. Richard Cranium is actually the longer version of Dick Head. Ill tempered sea bass...that was a toughie to work with, Mr. Powers. Review! Serenitychan13...you're up next, SweetCheeks!**_


	3. Applicant Number One

_**A/N: Our next applicant is Serenitychan13. Good luck.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea.**_

* * *

Zane Locke looked over at his newest recruit, the sable haired beauty a find indeed. She had been leaving the Temporary Urgent Request Kiosk Staffing firm when he met her. She had explained that she was looking for a job that paid well and would appreciate her special skills. Oh, he would appreciate them, he thought looking down her lowcut blouse. He would appreciate them indeed.

* * *

"All right," Zane said, rubbing his hands together. "So the plan is set. Milo has already hacked into the ShinRa database so we should be able to disarm any authorized accesses remotely. Now, we just gotta get our boys in there." 

"Hey," Milo said, waving Zane over. "Take a look at this. It's the Turks message boards. Says they are recruiting more people to the organization since they took such a hit after Meteor Fall."

"Aw sweet!" Zane said, slapping him on the back. "We could send some of our guys in to try out as Turks and get in that way. Then we take out that Planet killing bastard, Rufus."

"Right," Milo said. He looked over at Xander. "Yo, Xan...go get about five or so guys you think would be good. Make sure their someone ShinRa ain't got no pics of or nothing, aight?"

"Got it," Xander said, taking off out the door.

Zane sat down on the sofa, pulling the new chick down on his lap as she sat a tray of food down on the table. "Hey, SweetCheeks," he said, nuzzling her neck. "You ready for some real action?"

Her eyes widened. "You gonna let me go into ShinRa, Zane?" she asked with surprise as she popped a piece of food into his mouth.

"Nah," he said, chewing the bite and opening his mouth for another. "I was talking about later tonight, Doll. You, me and 200 count sheets."

She giggled. "Sounds good," she whispered into his ear, feeding him some more. "You better eat a lot to keep your strength up. I could kill you."

Zane laughed, using a little more effort than normal as he felt his throat tighten. "Doubt it, Babe," he said, chewing another piece of food. "That shit's pretty good. What's in it?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, placing another piece in his mouth. "Oh, you know, just something I whipped up," she said. "It's to die for, isn't it?"

"Pretty damn good," he choked out, gasping for air. He reached for his throat, trying to scream for help when he realized it was swelling shut. Milo glanced over, smirking as he saw his boss and the new chick making out like crazy, then turned his head back to the computer.

"Dude, these Turks are some messed up fuckers," he chuckled. "Their message board has a bunch of shit about keggers and orgies. They might be pretty cool people if they didn't work for ShinRa."

He scrowled down the screen, looking at different topics when the screen flashed and a woman with dark brown hair and red streaks popped on the screen wearing the standard issue black suit of the Turks. "Hey, Asshole," she said, looking straight at him. "You're plan ain't gonna work. Besides, your boss...yeah, the fucker's dead. See ya!"

Milo watched as the screen faded and a pixelated Turk walked onto the screen and shot a gun at him, spreading a virus into his hardrive and frying all the information he had stored on the computer. "Shit!" he yelled as his screen went blank. He lept from his seat and went to the couch, screaming for help when he saw Zane laying there lifeless, his throat swollen to the size of a soccer ball.

Zane's new girl...yeah, she was gone.

* * *

The new recruit hoped onto the back of a motorcycle, shivering as the driver ran his hands up her bare thighs as she pressed against his back. 

"How'd it go?"

She grinned, cocking her head to the side. "Knocked him dead," she said, leaning in to kiss the red haired Turks smiling lips.

Reno drew in his breath as her tongue slammed into his. "You do that to me everytime," he groaned as he started the bike and she wrapped her arms around him. "Just don't make it permanent, okay, Niki-chan?"

"Sure thing, Boss."

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated by ingesting normal substance (chocolate); Target's biological system was unable to cope with said substance in the body and shut down.**

**Turk Assigned: Nicole**

**Status: Clinically Insane Rookie**

**Specialty: Under COVERS ops, weapons, fire, martial arts, bio weapons involving animal toxins, chocolate**

**Target: Zane Locke, Anti-ShinRa Syndicate Sub-Leader**

**Death by: Fatal allegeric reaction to chocolate**

**Mission Complete**

* * *

**_A/N: Yeah, I gave ya some Reno action in there. Everyone loves the red head, you know? Not that I blame them. So, my husband likes this fic and wants me to write him killing off someone. Okie dokie, Baby! Is everyone diggin' this fic? I've only gotten a few reviews so far. Let me hear how you're liking it, okay? See ya!_**


	4. Applicant Number Two

**_A/N: This one is for my husband._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing._**

* * *

Temple eyed the young man from the Temporary Urgent Request Kiosk Staffing firm. He didn't care for him. He was well-built, tall, muscled and had all the secretaries fawning over him. And he smiled, a lot. The women kept touching his arms, asking him to carry heavy boxes for them to the other side of the room. They kept dropping things and asking him to pick them up for them, which he would do, completely oblivious to the fact that they were staring at his ass. 

He didn't care for him at all.

But at least he was distracting the other people in the office so that Temple could conduct the business that required his immediate attention. He was attempting to sell a piece of property that had belonged to the ShinRa Electric Power Company for fifty years, but had laid untouched for nearly three decades. He was going to sell it to some unsuspecting sap and take the gil and high tail it to Costa del Sol to live out the remainder of his days in sunny paradise.

The plan was flawless.

* * *

Temple glanced at his watch. His client would be here in exactly 20 minutes. That gave him enough time to see to a certain need that required the restroom and a private stall. He walked through the run down building of his company, chuckling at the false promises he had made his employees to begin remodeling. It didn't matter. After today, he'd get the hell out of this joint. 

Dodging the wires that hung out of the ceiling in the men's room, Temple made his way to the only available stall, the handicap stall being out of order. He sat on the commode and proceeded to do his business. A small sound caught his attention and he watched as a live wire fell out of the ceiling directly above him and hit the floor of the stall. Cursing under his breath, Temple finished tending to his need and flushed the toilet. As he was pulling up his pants, he heard water pouring over the side of the toilet and onto the floor, covering his shoes in the contaminated liquid. Stepping back to get out of the stall, the water hit the live wire, sending 1,000 volts of electricity running through Temple's body just as his hand grasped the handle of the stalls door. The surge in power caused a black out in the run down building, sending the secretaries scurrying to find their new big and strong comfort toy.

When the lights came on some minutes later, the man was gone.

* * *

The blond glanced at him over the tops of her sunglasses as she gestured to a seat next to her at the table. "How was work?" she asked sweetly. 

He shrugged, loosening the tie around his neck. "Same old same," he said, reaching to her plate for a french fry. "Lifted some boxes, had my ass stared out, killed the boss."

Elena smiled and leaned forward, placing her hand on his thigh and moving up. "Good boy," she purred, planting a kiss on his lips. "I'll reward you later."

He returned the smile, and the kiss.

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated by electrical current surging through body, intensified by water in the vicinity.**

**Turk Assigned: Joel**

**Status: Rookie**

**Speciality: Hand to hand combat, electrical 'engineering' and forced information retrieval specialist**

**Target: Joe Temple, Jr. from Big River Properties**

**Death by: Electricution**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

**_A/N: Yes, I let my husband make out with fictional characters. It's kinda hot. Anyway, review please. And izzy283...you're up next!_**


	5. Applicant Number Three

_**A/N: Our next applicant is izzy283. Good luck.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea.**_

* * *

The new mechanic was cute. Her coveralls covered up too much of her feminine qualities, but Crawnette figured he'd get to see them later, especially with the way she kept glancing over at him and winking. She straighted up from leaning over the engine of the '67 Hemi 'Cuda, wiping her hands on her grease rag she had tucked into the back pocket of her coveralls. Her burgundy hair was tucked up under a black 'do rag covered in skulls and crossbones, her face smudged with oil and sweat. 

That was just how Crawnette liked his girls. Dirty.

He watched as she moved on to the HD Softail Fatboy in for its regular oil change. Crawnette moaned as she licked her lips in anticipation. This chick dug her bikes, that was for sure.

He'd have to remember when he needed temp help for the shop to call the Temporary Urgent Request Kiosk Staffing firm again. They had primo help there.

Of course, the shop was just a front for his regular business. He'd gut the interiors of the cars and hide the cocaine in the seats. The weapons would be dismantled and stored within the engines of the vehicles or in the chasis. Then, he'd ship them off to Kalm, Rocket Town or Wutai...after proper payment had been made, of course.

* * *

"Yo, C!" 

"Yeah, whadda ya want?" Crawnette barked out, looking up from his messy desk.

"One of the boys said he saw that red head from the Turks lurking around here," the man answered. "Probably getting ready to inspect the place, make sure nothing illegal going down, ya know?"

"Damn," Crawnette said throwing his pen across the room. "All right, make sure nothing is visible and everything is covered up. We got all the stuff 'packaged' this morning, right?"

"Yeah, Boss."

"Good," Crawnette said, rubbing his hand over his face. "He's always too drunk to notice anything big, ya know? Let him tour the place if he comes in. Maybe we'll let him test drive that 'Cuda."

"Sure thing, Boss."

The guy moved away just as the new chick came into his office, wiping her hands and popping her gum. "Hey Boss," she said, her slum rat accent strong. "What else ya got for me to do today?"

Crawnette grinned. "Close the door and I'll tell ya," he said lowly.

She cast him a crooked grin. Crawnette rose from his desk and rounded it, motioning for her to come towards him after she closed the door. He reached out to her and felt a jolt of electricity shoot to his groin. Only it wasn't a jolt from lust. He looked down at the EMR positioned at his groin and then back up at the girl. She smirked and backed away slightly. He didn't even see her leg as it moved to connect her foot to his neck. His windpipe collapsed and he fell back against the desk, gone in 60 seconds.

She popped her gum again and pocketed the EMR, strolling out the office like nothing happened. Then she took the Fatboy for a test drive.

And didn't come back.

* * *

Reno puffed on his cigarette as he heard the unmistakable rumble of a Harley Davidson coming down the street. He glanced up and smirked at the chick on the bike. "What's that?" he asked gesturing to the bike. 

"Evidence," she said, blowing a bubble with her gum. She gestured to the bitch seat. "Hop on, I'll give you a ride, Hot Stuff."

Reno flicked his cigarette away and hopped onto the back of the bike. "You know, that's usually my line, Britt," he whispered to her as his tongue flicked out and traced the shell of her ear.

She grinned and revved the motor. "I know."

"Get the job done, then?"

"You bet."

"Good girl," he said, running his hands over the front of her coveralls. "Now, put this overgrown vibrator to use and let's get the hell outta here."

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated by first being subdued by taking an EMR to the groin followed by a kick to the neck, resulting in a collapsed trachea**

**Turk Assigned: Brittany**

**Status: Rookie**

**Specialty: Mechanic and hand to hand combat**

**Target: Ilius Crawnette, Illegal Drugs and Weapon Importer**

**Death by: Collapsed trachea**

**Mission Complete**

* * *

**_A/N: Yes, I did the Gone in 60 Seconds bit. I'm lame...sorry. Anyway, these are so much fun to write, you guys! Next up is dantesdarkqueen. Review please!_**


	6. Applicant Number Four

_**A/N: Our next applicant is dantesdarkqueen. Good luck.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**_

* * *

The club's owner eyed the new employee sent over to him from the Temporary Urgent Request Kiosk Staffing firm. She was a knock out, that was for sure. Dark green hair, cranberry red eyes. Real exotic. Plus, her short 5'1" frame was adorned with firm 36-C breasts. Very nice. Very nice, indeed. 

"Can ya dance?" he asked. She nodded. "All right. I got a request from a good client for some private entertainment at his place. Sesmar Bordicelli. You up for it?"

"Sure thing, Boss."

* * *

Bordicelli watched the dancer over the rim of his glass. The smooth, techno beat coming from his Dolby surround sound stereo system thummed in time with his pulse as he followed the trail that her shirt had taken. Clad in only a bra, panties, garter belt complete with fish net thigh-highs, the dancer strutted around his make shift stage in four inch stilettos, her body undulating against the furniture in his office. 

Oh, she was _good_.

The dancer bent over in front of him, giving him a good view of her thong. As she raised back up, she looked over her shoulder at him and grinned. "Any requestes?" she asked, pulling at her gloves with her teeth.

Bordicelli raised an eyebrow. "I want the stockings off," he groaned lowly. "Slowly. One at a time."

She smirked, coming down off the stage and kicking the stilettos off. Going to the right side of his chair, she placed her right foot on the arm, slowly unhooking the stocking from the garter belt and rolling the fish net down over her thigh, over her knee. She moved behind him in the chair, wrapping her leg around his chest and pulling the stocking completely off by the toe, running the skin of her bare leg over his face.

"Good?" she asked, trailing the stocking over his chin.

"Very," he moaned, closing his eyes.

He felt the fabric moved down to his neck. His eyes shot opened as he felt it tighten. Instantly, his hands came up to release the pressure building on his wind pipe, but it was no use. The material was pulled too tight. Within minutes, he was dead.

The dancer pulled the stocking up and attached it to the garter belt, slipping the stilettos back on and retrieving her discarded clothing. She 'dropped' something Bordicelli's lap as she walked by, pulling her leather trench coat over her form. Blowing him a kiss, she walked towards the door, stopping when it opened.

"Sesmar, I..."

The slutty blond stared down at the green haired woman. "Who are you?" she snapped.

The dancer smiled. "Entertainment," she replied. "You?"

"Scarlet."

She smiled again. "Too bad." With that, she sent a kick to the whore's chest, embedding the four inch spike into her heart. The dancer watched as the tramp fell lifeless to the floor. Wiping the blood off her shoe with the red dress of the dead woman, she made her way down the stairs to meet with her red headed 'guard'.

"Any problems?"

"A blond named Scarlet saw me as I was leaving," she replied as they walked toward the exit. "I took care of her though."

Reno stopped dead in his tracks. "Whoa," he said, looking back. "Scarlet? As in The Red Bitch?"

"She _was_ wearing a trashy red dress."

Reno back tracked to see if his suspicions were correct. "It thought her robo thingy killed her!" he commented.

She grabbed his arm. "Reno, we've gotta go," she said, dragging him with her. "I 'dropped' something in Bordicelli's lap as I left."

Reno grabbed her hand and broke into a run. "Shit!" he exclaimed. "When you drop shit, things go 'BOOM'!"

They ran through some streets and alleys until they came to an opening where Reno had landed the chopper. "Your chariot, milady," he said as he climbed in beside her. Flicking a few switches, they were in the air in no time. "How long time the 'ka-blammo'?" he asked.

She checked her watch. "Fifteen seconds," she replied.

"Damn," he chuckled. "You don't give yourself much time, do you, Akalara?"

"I set deadlines for myself and meet them," she replied.

Reno spun the chopper to face the buidling and watched as green and red sparks shot out with the explosion. He turned and grinned at her. "One of Rude's?" he asked.

Akalara smirked. "Mine."

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated using a thigh-high fish next stocking as strangulation device; former ShinRa Executive Scarlet also eliminated by stiletto heel to the heart; both bodies were in the building when the explosion occurred and deemed unidentifiable.**

**Turk Assigned: Akalara**

**Status: Rookie**

**Specialty: Stealth assassinations, 'accidental' demolition and explosions, undercover espionage, sabatoge and firearms**

**Target: Sesmar Bordicelli, Drug Lord in Old Midgar**

**Dealth by: Strangulation**

**Mission Complete**

* * *

**_A/N: Are we having fun yet? Credit for the term 'The Red Bitch' goes to dantesdarkqueen. Feather Wolf...you're up next! Reviews are loved._**


	7. Applicant Number Five

**_A/N: Our next applicant is Feather Wolf. Good luck._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

* * *

Tucker sat in a corner table in the darkest part of the bar, counting out his gil and chomping on a cigar. He'd just been paid his thirty pieces of silver for his treachery. The Turks had been given false information and were actually in the process of entering a trap. All their new recruits plus their leader would be dead at sunrise. 

And Tucker...was now a semi-wealthy man.

He eyed the bar's newest waitress, a pretty young thing with curly light brown hair that bounced tauntingly over her breasts. Stan, the owner, had told him he'd got her from the Temporary Urgent Request Kiosk Staffing firm since his normal girl got herself knocked up nine months ago and was having her kid right now. Stupid bitch. Though, it did give Tucker an opportunity to meet this cute little thing. He could almost picture her in a pink lace baby doll, sucking a lollipop and clutching a teddy bear, while he smacked her ass and she called him 'Daddy'.

The curls and breasts bounced over to him, removing his empty beer bottle and replacing it with a new one. He grinned and stuck 100 gil down the front on he pleated skirt and gave her ass a firm smack as she walked away. The drunks at the bar gave him a murderous look as she walked back to them, but she placated them with a dazzling smile and more booze, sending Tucker himself a seductive wink.

His night just kept getting better and better.

* * *

Tucker paid his tab and motioned for the new waitress to follow him outside. She smiled and slipped out, telling Stan she was taking a break. 

She leaned back against the wall of the alley, Tucker boxing her in. "Meet me at the cafe two blocks down on the corner after your shift," he told her. "I'll buy you breakfast."

Smiling, she nodded her head, allowing him to lean forward and kiss her cheek. She watched as he walked away, ripping holes into her stockings as he rounded the corner. She took her fists and landed a solid punch to her left eye and bloodied her bottom lip. She then slammed herself against the wall, giving only a small grunt as she dislocated her shoulder. With a smirk, she limped back into the bar.

The bar cleared as she collapsed onto the floor, sobbing hysterically.

"What happened?" Stan asked, moving to help her to her feet.

"That guy," she whispered. "He wanted to pay me for sex, but I told him I wasn't a prostitute. That's when he kissed me and slammed me against the wall. He hit me and tried to rape me but got spooked by a noise in the alley and bolted off. He was headed for that cafe on the corner..."

Nine drunks hit the door, intent on murder. Stan gave her some ice for her eye and lip, then told her to get to the emergency room for her shoulder. He called and paid for a cab to take her, telling her to take the next night off.

That was the last he saw of her.

* * *

The waitress looked out the window of the cab she rode in, watching as the paramedics placed Tucker in a body bag and sealed him up. 

"You really didn't have to get that extreme, Feather," her driver said, glancing over at her.

She gave him a small smile. "Had to make it believable," she told him.

Tseng sighed and pulled into a vacant parking lot. He reached over and brushed a handful of curly locks behind her ear, stroking her swollen lip with his thumb. She closed her eyes slightly and leaned into the touch of the handsome Wutain. His hand drifted to her shoulder as he leaned forward to kiss her tenderly, snapping her dislocated shoulder back into place. Feather hissed threw her teeth and glared at him.

"Bastard," she said, biting his lip.

Tseng stroked her cheek gently. "Just remember, you're not the only one who can bull shit."

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated by massive trama to the head, internal hemmorhaging and three broken ribs which punctured target's left lung**

**Turk Assigned: Feather**

**Status: Rookie**

**Speciality: Undercover ops, bullshit artist, improvisation, martial arts**

**Target: Tucker, Renegade Turk Informant for the Slums**

**Death by: Enraged drunks**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

**_A/N: MWAH HA HA HA! Killing fictional pricks is fun! Serenitychan13...since you are clinically insane, we have to send you out on another mission to better analyze your killing ability. Begin preparations for your next assignment...now._**


	8. Applicant One: Take Two

_**A/N: Due to the fact that Turk Applicant, Nicole, was labeled as clinically insane, we have found it necessary to re-evaulate her in the art of assassination. Reno, you will be accompanying her on this mission.**_

_**Reno (smirking at Nicole): Sure thing, Boss.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but this bitchin' plot.**_

* * *

Milo sipped his latte as he sat in the StarGils, typing frantically on his new laptop. Well, it wasn't really _his_ new laptop. It technically belonged to some guy he'd mugged coming out of a computer store in Edge. He didn't feel too bad taking it...especially considering that the guy was dead and wouldn't be needing it. Such a shame to have such a nice piece of equipment go to waste. And Milo was a firm believe in 'waste not, want not'. 

Besides, he needed a new computer since that bitch Turk fried his with a virus. He couldn't even get the thing to power up after that. He should have known it was a setup. That chick Zane had picked up was just too conveniently placed.

One thing about it, next time Milo saw her, she was dead.

* * *

"You done good today, 'Ki," Freddie told her. "Not too shabby. You're a quick learner." 

She smiled, scratching the back of her head shyly. "Thanks, Boss," she said, running her hand over her blue tipped blond spikes to make sure they were still in place. "So I guess that means my shift's up, huh?"

"Yeah, go home, Kid," he said. "I'm calling that staffing place tomorrow and thanking them for you. You the best."

'Ki laughed and untied her apron, tossing it under the counter. "See ya, 'round," she said, giving a small wave.

Milo looked up from his computer and studied the girl as she clocked out at the register. _Staffing place, huh?_ he thought. _I wonder if it's the same place Zane picked up that chick? This girl might know her!_

The blue tits...er, TIPS came his way and electric blue nails tapped at his table. "Have a great night," she said with a sweet smile as she headed for the door.

Milo quickly shut his laptop and followed her. "Hey!" he called. "Wait up!"

The girl turned around and stopped. "What's up?" she asked. "I didn't spit in your drink, in case your wondering."

Milo stopped in front of her a smile on his face. "I wasn't," he said. "Can I ask you something?"

She grinned flirtaciously. "Depends," she said, stepping closer and running those electric blue nails up his chest. "What's in it for me?"

"Uh," Milo stammered. He never was any good with girls. "I'll buy you a cup of coffee?"

_Idiot!_ he mentally smacked his forehead.

She laughed and turned around. "I work at StarGils, Bub," she said walking away. "I get free coffee. Up the offer and we'll see."

He followed her. "Dinner?" he asked.

"I'm full, thanks."

"Ice cream?"

"Lactose intolerent."

"Cookies?"

"What are you...three?"

"My laptop?"

"I _could_ use a good door stopper."

"Sex?"

She stopped and turned to him, predatory smile in place. She nodded her head slowly. "Now you're speaking my language," she purred as she ran her fingers over his face.

Milo swallowed hard. "F-first talk, then s-sex," he stuttered.

"Deal."

* * *

Milo delved his tongue into her mouth, thrusting into her repeatedly as she moaned wantonly. She did work for the Temporary Urgent Request Kiosk Staffing firm, but she didn't know anyone who met the description of Zane's killer. 

_Stupid, Milo_, he thought to himself. _You are having SEX! Shut up!_

He yelled out as she raked her nails down his back, drawing blood and grinning up at him savagely. The pain pushed him over the edge as he came inside her, collapsing on top of her and breathing heavily. His back felt like it was on fire.

"Hey," she whispered into his ear, kissing his cheek softly. "I've got a favor to ask you."

Milo raised his head up to look her in her eyes. "What's that?" he asked sleepily.

"You gotta promise to do it," she whispered.

He couldn't seem to catch his breath. And he was tired. _Shut her up and go to sleep_, he thought. "I promise."

She laughed slightly. "When you reach the Lifestream...tell Zane...Niki said...'hi'."

Milo collapsed against her again, this time not even budging. She let out an exasperated sigh as she pushed the body off her. "Why did you have to die _on_ me?" she asked, pulling on a thick pair of gloves before pulling her clothes on.

Niki bounded out the apartment and skipped into the street, humming along with the music in her head.

"Hey Baby."

She turned her head and grinned, throwing herself into the red head's arms. "Thank the GODS!" she cried, planting rapid fire kisses all over his face and neck. "A REAL man! I so need a good fuck right about now."

Reno laughed and held her hands away. "After we get these claws decontaminated," he said. "I assume all went as planned."

Niki continued kissing him. "Duh!" she said. "Except he was a total virgin and I couldn't even finish myself off because of these death tools." She wiggled her gloved hands at him. "Let's go, before I want to kill some one else."

Reno pulled her to him, looking at her blue tipped blond spikes. "Hmm...you know that 'thing'?" he asked. "That whole 'gentlemen prefer blonds' thing?"

"Yeah?"

He snatched the wig off her head and tossed it over his shoulder, watching as her sable hair came cascading down. He sneered in her face. "I ain't no gentleman," he growled.

She bit at his lips. "And I ain't no blond," she said. "Let's fuck."

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated by asphyxiation as the respiratory muscles were unable to contract, resulting in apnea, then death.**

**Turk Assigned: Nicole**

**Status: Second-level rookie; still clinically insane**

**Specialty: Under COVERS ops, weapons, fire, martial arts, bio weapons involving animal toxins, chocolate**

**Target: Milo Rosenburg, Second-in-Command to the late Zane Cooke, Anti-ShinRa Syndicate Sub-Leader**

**Death by: Curare-laced scratches**

**Mission Complete**

* * *

**_A/N: Thank you to wikipedia for the Mission Report and Serenitychan13 for the curare information. (shudders) Review please! ChaosDynasty...your next!_**


	9. Applicant Number Six

_**A/N: Our next applicant is ChaosDynasty. Good luck.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot.**_

* * *

Smoke billowed around the terminal. "All right, Rookie," came the low drawl. "Let's see what you got." 

"Reno, quit being such a dick," Elena said rolling her eyes. She smiled at the young man sitting in front of the computer. "Don't mind him. He's overcompensating for lacking in a certain 'area'."

"Like you'd know, Laney," Reno scoffed. He gestured toward the blond with his head. "Damn bitch won't fuck _me_. Fucks everything else with a dick, but not me."

"That's because you lack the proper requirements," Elena told him. Reno bared his teeth at her but she simply giggled. She turned to the rookie. "Ready to start?"

Sage leaned back in his chair, folding his hands behind his head. "Already done," he said with a smirk. "While you girls were bitching, I infiltrated the ShinRa network. I sent an email from Reeve Tuesti to Palmer with a Subject line that read 'Lard Gone Wild'. Now, I've activated the remote access feature used by ShinRa's IT department to repair the individual workstations without having to leave the comfort of their own cubicle. If you want to come around here, you can actually see what's on his desktop."

"I'm not a girl," Reno protested, moving to stand beside the rookie and looking at the computer screen. "Whoa! Bastard has a pig in a thong bikini as his wallpaper?!"

"What a sick fuck!" Elena gagged.

"Hey, the mouse is moving," Reno pointed out.

"Palmer must be back at his desk," Sage told them, leaning forward in his chair. "When he opens the email, avert your eyes."

"Why?" Reno asked. "That bad?"

"You wanna die?"

"Not really."

"Then do what I tell you."

"Hey! Don't fuck with me, Rookie!" Reno snarled, spinning the chair around.

Sage lept to his feet. "Don't fuck with _me_, Asswipe!" Sage countered, rising to his feet and standing toe to toe with the red head. They were pretty evenly matched physically. Both were about 5'11", but Sage probably had about 20-30 pounds on Reno and appeared a bit taller with his red tipped black spikes sticking straight up. Piercing blue eyes flashed behind the mirrored shades he wore, hiding the glare from Reno's aquamarine orbs.

"Knock it off!" Elena ordered, shoving her way in between the two men. "Damn, you two are so much alike it scares the piss outta me! The last fucking thing we need is two Reno's."

Sage snorted. "Please," he said, sitting back down in his chair. "I'm nothing like this spaztard. I _have_ brain cells."

Reno took out his EMR, flicking the switch to the highest setting. Elena twisted his arm behind his back and disarmed him, switching the weapon off. "Sit your ass down," she ordered, pointing to a chair. "Dissention amongst the ranks is not going to work."

"Who'd you fuck that put you in charge, Laney?" Reno sneered. "Oh...right. EVERYONE!"

Sage chuckled at that. "But you," he said softly.

"And you."

"It's my first day on the job," Sage said with a smirk. He looked Elena up and down. "Give me till the end of my shift and a bottle of tequilla and I'll be hittin' that by midnight."

"Betcha 100 gil you don't."

"I'll take that bet."

"I'm right here, you assholes," Elena said, smacking them both upside the head.

"Okay, he's opening the email," Sage said, switching the monitor off for good measure.

"How long is this going to take?" Reno asked.

"The visual only lasts for 15 seconds," Sage explained. "Once an individual's cerebral..."

"Speak human, Computer Freak."

Sage rolled his eyes, a gesture hard to see behind the shades. "Once he looks at it, he won't be able to look away until the visual stops. By then, it's too late."

Elena checked her watch. "That should do it then," she said. She flipped out her cell phone. "Britt, you are cleared to go in."

They waited.

"Findings?" Elena asked. She nodded into the phone. "Affirmative. Call the clean up crew."

She slapped Sage on the shoulder. "Good work," she said. "Pulse is gone, pupils dialated."

"Fucker didn't even get his hands dirty," Reno mumbled, lighting another cigarette.

Sage plucked it out of his mouth and took a long drag, ignoring Reno's string of curses. "Yep," he said, snatching his hand out of Reno's grasp. "Kinda dull."

"Opens up a whole new set of possibilities for us, though," Elena said, walking to the door. "We'll let you get some blood on you for your next mission."

Sage grinned. "Good," he replied. "Though killing that fat bastard was pretty sweet. He never should have made me third ranked in the ShinRa Air Force. I'm a far fucking better pilot than that joke, Highwind."

Reno snorted, taking out another cigarette as Elena left. "You fly choppers?" he asked.

"Yep," he answered, flicking a piece of lint off his pant leg.

Reno grinned, eyes flashing mischieviously. "You got clearance to the hanger yet?"

"Not yet."

"I do," Reno said, blowing smoke into the air. "Care for a little...race?"

Sage smirked. "If you're ready to get your ass handed to you."

"Bring it."

"Girl...it's already been brought."

* * *

**Mission Report: ****Target eliminated by seizure, brought on by a visual stimulation via email which caused a synaptic overload**

**Turk Assigned: Sage Mahoutsukai**

**Status: Rookie**

**Specialty: Network hacking and infiltration, mechanics, shortblades, covert ops, and hand to hand combat**

**Target: Palmer, Head of the ShinRa Aviation and Space Programs**

**Death by: Seizure**

**Mission Complete**

* * *

**_A/N: LOL!!! "Bring It On" reference. I have NO CLUE where that came from! Rameau...you're up next, Sista!!!_**


	10. Applicant Number Seven

_**A/N: Our next applicant is Rameau. Good luck.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot.**_

* * *

Granny May watched with a diligent eye as the new girl rolled out the dough for the pie. "Are you sure you've had no baking experience, Deary?" she asked sweetly. 

The young woman shook her head. "Not professionally, Ma'am," she answered. "I would help my mum a little bit though, when I was younger."

The elderly woman patted her shoulder affectionately. "You're doing fine, Sweetie," she said with a smile. "I'll have to send those nice people at the staffing firm a box of homemade donuts to thank them for you."

"Thank you, Ma'am."

"All right," Granny May said, walking to the back with her cane. "If you need me for anything, just hit the intercom button and I'll be right out. I've going to go take some pain medication for my poor old knees and rest a bit."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Granny May disappeared into her office, leaving the temporary helper to handle the small bakery, aptly named 'Granny May's Bakery'.

* * *

As soon as she bolted the doors to her office, Granny May tossed her cane aside and slid the photograph of her late husband (who are we kidding; the picture came with the frame!) and placed her thumb on the print scanner, granting her access to her secret conference room. Granny May was not a sweet little old lady with gouty knees. No, she was in actuality the head of a rag tag group, intent to take out ShinRa. 

Scanning the faces around the rich mahogany table, she nodded when she saw everyone present. Mary, the bio-hazard specialist; Clark, the electrical engineer; Michael, the one obsessed with lethal bacteria; Vernon, the muscle; Jessica, lab student, interning at ShinRa Labs; Eric, assistant teacher at Migar University; Sam, martial artist and paedephile; Jenny, the mathematician; and Granny May herself, the one who had brainwashed all these promising people to do her bidding to exact her revenge on ShinRa.

But what reason did Granny May, seemingly sweet little old lady who ran a bakery have to destroy ShinRa? Simple; Rufus' father broke her heart, some thirty years ago. Now, she was going to break everything he had worked for.

Each member of her rag tag organization contributed to her plan. Mary, Michael and Jessica were the ones developing the special 'yeast' she used in her special batch of donuts she sent to the ShinRa building everyday. The bacteria and other toxins were in small enough amounts that they could not be detected easily and would gradually kill anyone who consumed it over a set period of time, that time having been determined by Jenny and Eric. Vernon and Sam provided protection for Granny May and her other cohorts as they set this plan in motion. And Clark...well, Clark was Granny May's son, so she had to give him _something_ to do.

For a week now, Granny May's Bakery had been delivering 50 dozen of the deadly donuts to the ShinRa building, and getting paid for it! Within the next two weeks, the more feeble of the employees consuming the toxic treats would start to show symptoms of the poisoning; though it could not be traced to one single factor. The symptoms would be flu like in nature, starting with aches and nausea, then escalating to searing pain and finally death. Once the symptoms began, it would start an unstoppable chain reaction that could not be treated. The company would actually eat itself to dealth.

No wonder gluttony was a sin.

Granny May had only just hired an apprentice baker to actually see to the real part of the bakery. Revenge was not her main priority. There was gil to be made, after all.

"So the symptoms should begin showing when?" Granny May asked, setting herself down at the head of the conference table.

"As soon as 7 days, no later than 14," Jenny replied. "That's when the aches and nausea will begin."

"Good," Granny May said, a sinister smile covering her pale dry lips. "This plan is genius."

Vernon sniffed. "Mmm," he said, drool slipping down the side of his mouth. "Granny, what's that good smell?"

Granny May breathed the air in as well. "Oh, that must be the pie my apprentice is baking," she said proudly. "Smells like she's doing a damn good job."

Everyone breathed in deeply, enjoying the smell of the freshly baked apple pie. One more deep breath, and every head around the table hit the mahogany with a thud.

Back in the kitchen, the apprentice baker closed the air conditioning vent and smirked, glancing up at her two customers.

"Good morning," she said cordially. "How may I help you today?"

The women in their immaculate black suits smirked. The first one, her red streaked dark brown hair falling over her shoulders hopped on the counter. "Let me taste your wares," she teased.

"Show me first your penny," the apprentice teased back.

The second, a red head, emptied her pockets. "Indeed we have not any," she laughed and the other two joined her. "We don't get paid till next week."

"Status, Ram?" Kandi asked.

"The baker's been butchered by the candlestick," she said, gesturing to the air conditioning vent. She shrugged. "Well, the toxin was in solid form and looked similar to a candlestick. I'm not good with nursury rhymes."

"Doesn't matter," Katrina said, hopping on the counter next to her partner. "So, Granny May's dead and gone. Pity. I liked her donuts."

"Yeah, when they weren't poisoned," Kandi said, snatching a jelly filled treat. She was about to take a bite. "This one isn't...is it?"

Ram shook her head, her blond hair falling out of her ponytail. "Nope, I made that one," she grinned.

"Sweet."

Tseng entered the bakery just then, glaring at them. "I'm assuming that this break indicates the problem has been dealt with?" he asked sternly, though his eyes were twinkling with merriment at the sight of three of his newest Turks.

"Done, Sir," Ram said, removing her apron and leaping onto the counter between the other two. "Nine corpses await your approval."

Tseng's lips twitched at the corners. Katrina laughed. "I think you made the bastard smile!" she said.

"Impossible!" Kandi said, strawberry jelly staining her lips. "Tseng doesn't smile. He glowers, scowls, smirks, scoffs, sulks..."

"I do NOT sulk," Tseng sulked.

"He's sulking now," Ram said with a grin.

"All right," Tseng said stepping to the counter and lifting each girl down to the floor. "In the car. We need to be gone before the clean up crew gets here."

Each girl planted a kiss to the Wutain's lips as they passed him, laughing as they did. Tseng actually did smile at that. New recruits were actually...fun.

Especially these three...his little Amazons.

* * *

**Mission Report: Targets eliminated by implantation of lethal toxin in building's ventilation system**

**Turk Assigned: Ram**

**Status: Rookie**

**Specialty: Science, hacking, locks, undercover ops, language specialist, death by sex (aka Black Widow Syndrome), martial arts**

**Target: Granny May and her Syndicate**

**Dealth by: Inhalation of Deadly Toxin**

**Mission Complete**

* * *

**_A/N: Ram and Katrina are my Amazon Sista's, so that's why Katrina and myself are in here with Ram. Review! KD Zeal...your next!_**


	11. Applicant Number Eight

**_A/N: Our next applicant is KD Zeal. Good luck._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot._**

* * *

_Orange Julius. Behind the counter. Auburn hair, green eyes, short, but stacked. Heh heh. Short stack. Oh yeah. Time to score._

Sinclare made his way over to the counter and placed his order for a large Orange Julius. The green eyes, looked up at him and brightened.

_Yeah Baby_, he thought. _You know you want this_.

He leaned against the counter, sipping his drink while looking into her eyes. "When you gettin' off, Sweetheart?" he asked, letting his eyes roam over her body.

She leaned forward and did the same to him. "Depends," she purred, running her fingers over the collar of his shirt. "When are we having sex?"

Sinclare's mouth twitched into a grin. His pants were already constricting. "Hmm, I think we can arrange that to be very shortly," he said, flicking his tongue out to lick her fingers as they trailed up his chin.

She giggled. "It'll have to be later," she said with a slight pout. "I promised my girlfriend we'd go shopping. But...if you want to come with...I'm sure she can be persuaded to _join us_ later."

His eyebrows shot up at that. "Is this girlfriend a girl _friend_ or a _girl_ friend?" he asked. "And is she as hot as you?"

She gestured with her head. "You tell me," she countered.

Sinclare glanced over his shoulder, his mouth instantly watering. The girlfriend was about 5'7", six inches taller than the hottie he was talking to. She had shoulder length black hair, tipped with green and streaked with purple. She wore a pair of black leather pants and a green lace camisole with a plunging neckline. Her left eyebrow was pieced and she had a stud in her nose. "Damn," he muttered.

The Orange Julius chick giggled. "That's what I say everytime I see her," she said dreamily coming around the counter. She leaned up and kissed her on the lips before turning back to him. "This is E and I'm Magni," she said. "What's your name?"

He had to clear his throat before speaking, lest he betray himself. "Matthew," he croaked out, cursing beneath his breath.

E grinned at him before turning to Magni. "So, who's the hot guy?" she asked, her voice a low, husky sound.

"He's going to go shopping with us," she said, leaning into the taller woman. "And then later..."

"Sweet," E purred and then flicked her tongue at him. His groin responded instantly. Pierced tongue. Nice.

Matthew chucked his forgotten Orange Julius away, drapping one arm around each girl. "Okay Ladies," he said as he guided them into the mall. "Which store we hittin' first? Lingerie?"

The manager of the Orange Julius watched as his newest employee left without ending her shift. He was going to have to call the Temporary Urgent Request Kiosk Staffing firm and give them a piece of his mind!

* * *

Twelve hours later...Sinclare was buried under a mountain of shopping bags, trailing slowly behind the two women. _This had better be fucking worth it_, he thought to himself. 

"Hey Matty," he heard E call to him. "What do you think about this?"

Sinclare peeked over the top of a shopping bag, his eyes bugging out as the woman came out of the dressing room in a black leather number with holes cut out around her nippular area. Surprise, surprise...both nipples were pierced, too. Twelve hours of shopping without so much as a bathroom break combined with the dead sexy outfit was just too much. He passed out, exhausted, the mountain of shopping bags burying him alive. Not heeding the warning that so many mother's take to heart about plastic shopping bags, he inhaled deeply, causing one of the dreaded bags to become affixed to his face. He sufficated before the avalanche of bags could be removed.

* * *

Elena washed her hair for the fifteenth time, desperately trying to remove the black, green and purple from her naturally blond hair. "I thought Reno said this stuff was temporary!" she shrieked at Magni. 

"You trusted RENO with your hair?" Magni shrieked back. Elena came out, towel scrubbing furiously at her head. The colors had not even faded. "Well...look on the bright side; at least the colors look good on you."

Elena blinked back the tears in her eyes as she stared at her hair in the mirror. "I want the blond back!" she wailed.

Magni giggled. Elena turned her head to glare at her, gasping when she saw her going through 'the pictures'. "No!" she yelled, leaping at her. "No, don't look! Give those back!"

Magni squealed and jumped away, laughing when Elena fell face first to the floor. "So, this is the blackmail material Sinclare had on Rufus...and a certain veteran Turk," she said. "What position is that anyway, Elena? I didn't know you were so...flexible."

"Shut up," Elena said, going back to finish washing her hair. "We were drunk, okay?"

"Fuck!" Magni shouted, unable to look away from the 4 x 5 glossy in her hands. "Is he really that ripped and...huge?"

Elena giggled. "Uh huh," she said with a satisfied sigh.

"Damn," Magni said, taking the photo and sticking it in her purse. "I wouldn't mind guarding _that_ body. I think I'm in love!"

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated by suffocation of plastic shopping bag**

**Turk Assigned: Magni Zeal**

**Status: Rookie**

**Speciality: Sex appeal, acting, and hacking**

**Target: Matthew Sinclare, Holding Blackmail Material on Rufus ShinRa**

**Death by: Shopping**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

**_A/N: Death by shopping? Whodathunkit? Anyway...as for the next chapter, I've got something a bit...different planned. And since I've had no new applicants (pouts), I'm going to be using our current recruits. Keep an eye out! You never know when your Turk will make another appearance!_**


	12. Operation: FFR Part I

_**A/N: This is a side story for the new recruits. Seems several of the ladies have taken a liking to a certain red-head. Of course, said red-head being who he is has taken a liking right back...to all of them. So, what happens when the ladies find out about each other? Nothing good...a lot of funny, but nothing good.**_

_**Presenting, Operation: Fight For Reno (FFR) an Operation: Assassination Subplot!**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but this bitchin' plot.**_

* * *

Nicole narrowed her eyes as she peered from her spot in the air conditioning vents. A red-head, _her_ red-head, was making out with a certain green haired slut. She continued crawling through the vents, ending up in the ladies locker room. Kicking the vent out, she lept down to the ground, dusting her suit off. She got several curious stares from some of the woman, but she merely hissed at them and they quickly minded their own business. Except for her partner, Feather. 

"Enjoy your nap?" she asked with a grin. Niki had a habit of climbing into the air conditioning vents to take an afternoon snooze.

Nicole plopped down on the bench and kicked off her shoes. "I would have had I not woken up in the vents above Reno's office," she grumbled.

"But that's usually where you sleep," Feather pointed out. "Why wouldn't you wake up there?"

"I sleep crawl sometimes," Nicole answered, shrugging out of her suit jacket and tossing it into her locker. "I've woke up in some fucked up places."

"Don't elaborate on that," Feather said shaking her head. "What happened?"

"That green haired bitch was in there with him, making out," she replied angrily. "I thought he was with me."

Kandi laughed, having heard the entire conversation. "Sorry, Niki-chan," she said as she brushed out her hair. "Didn't mean to eavesdrop. But if you think Reno is going to stick with just one girl, you're so mistaken, Babe."

"Yeah, I think everyone's been with the red-head at least, three times?" Katrina piped up, straightening her tie.

"Damn, I must be a bit behind," Ram told them. "I've only fucked him twice."

The only tri-partnered group in the Turks laughed at that. "Hey!" Niki shouted, jumping to her feet. "That ain't funny!"

"Oh, come on, Niki," Katrina said, rolling her eyes. "Reno is such a whore. He'll fuck anything with breasts."

"Yeah, that boy will never settle down," Kandi added. "Unless it's, like, with some hyper active Wutain ninja or something."

"Right," Ram said rolling her eyes. "Like that'll ever happen."

"I've known Reno longer than all of you," Elena said, coming out of the showers, her blond hair still the mix of colors Reno had set for her. "His inability to commit to one woman is born from his terrible child hood. His father was one of his mother's customers, as she was a prostitute..."

"Save the sob story, Elena," Kandi snapped. "That ain't it at all. Plain and simple...Reno likes sex. He'll get it with whoever and however he can. So even if all the Turk babes stopped giving it up to him, he'd go out and either get the Honey Bee girls or some random chick off the street. The man has that much sex appeal. A Cetran nun would succomb to him."

"I still feel we have something special," Niki said. "We connect. And he said that I was the only girl..."

"That ever made him feel this way. I could so see myself settling with a chick like you," the entire locker room chorused.

Akalara came in just then, looking at everyone. "Oh, did you all hear what Reno said to me?" she asked, her eyes sparkly and dreamy. "Isn't he the greatest?"

"Greatest con-artist, man-whore, that's for sure," Katrina mumbled so only her partners could hear. She slammed her locker closed. "Ladies, we've got an assignment. Don't let the claws come out, aight?"

Niki glared after them. "I think I hate them," she growled.

"It's not their fault," Feather said. "They're right, you know."

"Hey, Green Bitch," Niki said, ignoring her partner. "You wanna tell me why your tongue was down my man's throat earlier?"

Akalara glanced over at the clinically insane Turk. "Excuse me?" she asked, looking down her nose at her. "I didn't know you were dating anyone. Rest assured, the only throat I've been tasting is that of my boyfriend, Reno."

"Reno's my man, Bitch," Niki snarled, her eyes narrowing.

"You really are insane, aren't you?" Akalara said with a sympathetic voice. "Sorry, love, but Reno and I are exclusive."

Elena snorted as she finished dressing. "Don't mind me," she said, waving them off. "Continue."

"Bitch, please," Niki said, slamming Akalara's locker door. "Reno's been with me every afternoon since I joined the Turks."

"He's been with me every night," Akalara stated, narrowing her eyes.

Brittany grinned and closed her locker, walking passed the two fighting women. "Just so you know, his mornings are tied up with me," she said, popping her gum. "Pleasure sharing him with you ladies."

"Wait," Akalara said, stopping her. "You aren't mad?"

Britt snorted. "Hell no," she said. "I start every day with a good helping of red-head. I'm not delusional enough to think he'd be satisfied with one chick. And he's not delusional enough to think I'd be satisfied with just him. It's a happy arrangement. Y'all'd do well to come up with one of your own. I recommend Sage. He's pretty damn good in bed. See ya."

Elena laughed. "Joel's pretty damn good, too," she said. "He does this thing with his tongue..." she shivered as she trailed off. "Anyway...good luck with that."

Niki turned her attention back to Akalara. "I don't care what they say," she snarled. "Reno...is MINE. Back off."

Akalara stood nose to nose with her. "No," she said. "I will not. Because he's MINE."

"You do realize that this means war?"

"I do," Akalara said. "However, the only casualty of this conflict will be you."

"Bring it."

"I shall."

* * *

_**A/N: Poor, poor girls. This will only end in hysterics, you realize that? Review please!**_


	13. Applicant Number Nine

_**A/N: Our next applicant is Woodster. Good luck.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot.**_

* * *

ShinRa always had the best bikes to steal. 

Siciliano walked through the chop shop, watching as his crew carefully removed the serial numbers off the stolen goods, replacing them with numbers that were registered in his name. After this process, the bikes would be taken to an individual buyer and sold to the masses.

Nothing but profit to be made. Well, there was the annoying matter of having to pay his employees, a rag tag group of slum rats, but other than that, pure profit.

"Aight Boys!" one of his employees bellowed, standing to his full 6 foot height. "Load 'em up!"

Siciliano studied this young man. He was hard not to notice. Even in the dank shop, he kept his sunglasses on. The guy was built and hard to miss with that bleached out white hair of his. And he had a commanding air about him. He could dominate any situation as he was doing now. The other workers had jumped at his order and were already loading the bikes into the 18-wheeler parked at the loading dock. This one may be worth keeping.

"You," Siciliano said, pointing to the young man. He turned chomping his gum and arching an eyebrow over the rim of his sunglasses in question. "Come with me."

* * *

"I like you," Siciliano said nodding his head in approval. "If you want a permanent position, it's yours." 

"Got one question," the man stated.

"What is that?"

"Is there a chance I'll get to race any?" he asked.

Siciliano steepled his fingers and studied the man. "Could be," he said. "I've been thinking about getting into the racing circuit. I would need a racer."

The white haired man stood up, Siciliano following suit. "We got a deal," the man said, still chomping his gum.

Siciliano came around the desk and extended his head. "Excellent," he said.

The man took his hand and twisted his arm around his back, dislocating the shoulder. Siciliano didn't even get to scream in pain, as in the next instant his neck was snapped and he was tossed back in his chair, the back of the leather recliner facing the door.

Stepping out of the office and closing the door, the white haired man popped his gum and made his way back to the loading bay.

"Yo, T, where's the Boss?"

"He don't wanna be disturbed," he answered, going toward the passengers side of the big rig. "He's got some hooker in 'ere wit 'im."

Several whoops went up in the garage. "Hey, you boys go on down to the Honey Bee and charge it to Siciliano's account," T told them. "Y'all deserve it."

The shop cleared and the white haired man smiled. "Fire this rig up and head on out to the highway," he said to the driver. "I got one more thing to take care of and I'll catch up with you."

The driver pulled out and headed down the road. T found the bike he was looking for, whistling in appreciation as he sat in the seat and started up the engine. Taking out a lighter, monogrammed A.S.S. for Antonio Santo Siciliano, he flicked it to life, tossing the flaming Zippo onto a bed of greasy rags.

The crotch rocket sped out of the shop and quickly caught up to the 18-wheeler, driven by a very familiar bald head. Pulling the rig over, Rude hopped out and helped him put the bike in with the other pieces of recovered ShinRa property.

"You torch the place, Torr?" he asked.

Torr grinned, popping his gum. "Yep."

Rude rolled his eyes, undetected behind his own shades. "Siciliano?"

"Dead."

"Beer?"

"Yep."

"Right. Hop in," Rude said climbing back into the rig himself. Torr settled himself into the passenger's side and Rude glanced over at him. "Nice work."

"Always."

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated by severing the spinal chord in the cervical area; target's body then burned in fire started at his shop, deemed unidentifiable.**

**Turk Assigned: Torr Burel**

**Status: Rookie**

**Specialty: Motorbike racing, undercover ops, handguns, bodyguard and arson**

**Target: Antonio Siciliano, Midgar's Organized Crime Kingpin**

**Death by: Severed spine**

**Mission Complete**

* * *

**_A/N: I'll take my gold statues now. ;) Whose next? Well, only I know that! MWAH HA HA!_**


	14. Applicant Number Ten

_**A/N: Our next applicant is Kingmunkey. Good luck.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot.**_

**_Warning: This one could be a little...squimmish._**

* * *

"Why are we doing this exactly, Zen?" 

Vexius huffed in annoyance. "Because the original AVALANCHE is now a part of the problem. They are working _with_ ShinRa."

"That's because ShinRa is trying to help restore the Planet and AVALANCHE is helping..."

Vexius stood to his feet, pointing accusingly at the man across from him. "Those are lies and if you believe them then you are not needed in Neo-AVALANCHE! Get out!"

"Psycho," the man grumbled as he left. This had happened with everyone he had gathered to this meeting. Some people he knew from childhood. Others he had found simply on the streets. All that remained now was one man.

He would be a strong ally if he chose to stay with him. The man was tall, at least 6', with shoulder length blond hair and blue-green eyes. Strapped to his broad back was a pair of long blades, a weapon not normally seen anymore, but effective nonetheless.

"What is your name?"

"Revan."

"Do you think I'm insane as well?"

Revan just shrugged, standing up and stretching his stiff back. "Doesn't really matter what I think," he said.

Vexius looked up at him. "Why's that?"

Rev grabbed the handles of his long blades and whipped them out, placing them scissors like at Vexius' neck. "I'm just here to kill you," he answered before severing his head from his body.

"Terrorists suck," he grumbled as he began slicing his body parts into more managable sizes. Sticking them in a styrofoam cooler he found in the back room, he dumped the ice that was in the freezer on top of them, all the while humming to himself. After he cleaned his blades, he put them back in their sheaths on his back.

He carried the cooler out into the alley and down the street to the back door of a small Wutain restaurant. He knocked and the manager answered.

"You got my sushi?" he asked, his accent thick.

Revan shoved the cooler at the Wutain. "Yep," he answered.

"How much you want?"

"Fifty gil."

"Too much."

Revan rolled his eyes. "Forty-nine," he countered.

The Wutain narrowed his eyes. "You stupid slum rat," he hissed.

"You want the sushi?"

"Yeah, yeah, I pay," he said thrusting the money to Revan and taking the cooler. "Better be good."

Revan smiled. "It'll be like nothing you've ever had," he promised. "I guarantee."

The door slammed in his face, and he pocketed his gil, walking down the street until he saw a car flash it's lights on and start up. He jumped into the passenger's side and slide his hand up the thigh on the veteran Turk with black hair tipped in green and streaked with purple. "Hey Baby," he purred, sliding over to nip at her ear. "Miss me."

Elena smirked and leaned her head away. "Depends," she said. "Get the job done?"

"Totally."

Her lips pressed against his and her tongue slipped into his mouth. "Good job," she said. "Come on. I'm starving."

"Me too," Revan said. "Whatcha want to eat?"

"Hmmm...Wutain?" she asked.

"You really do have a thing for Tseng, don't ya?' he asked with a laugh. "Sounds good though."

"There's a little place up here we could..."

"Nah, I know a better joint downtown," he said. "This place serves cat or some shit."

"Ew...nasty."

Revan smirked. "I know."

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated by decapitation. Target's body was disposed of in an unknown location.**

**Turk Assigned: Revan Seijakuken**

**Status: Rookie**

**Specialty: Dual long swords, non-stealth assassinations, hacking, women**

**Target: Zen Vexius, Upstart AVALANCHE Newbie**

**Dealth by: Severed head**

**Mission Complete**

* * *

**_A/N: Kingmunkey...that was SICK!!! But interesting. Reminded me of Fried Green Tomatoes. Review please! What's next, what's next? Hmmmm..._**


	15. Operation:  FFR Part II

_**A/N: Round Two! DING!**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but this bitchin' plot.**_

* * *

Niki grumbled in exasperation as she tried the combination on Akalara's locker again. She knew she had seen her put it in correctly, as she had watched her for the past three days, just waiting for this opportunity. And now that she had it, the damn lock wouldn't open. 

"You know, a Turk who can't pick a lock is pretty much worthless."

Niki turned around only to come face to face with Ram. She yanked at the lock hopelessly. "Really?" she sneered. "Why don't you try it then?"

Ram simply smiled and gestured for Niki to move. Taking a single hair pin out of her hair, she flipped the lock up, inserted the hairpin into the back and with a flick of her wrist, released the lock. She handed it to Niki. "Learn to do it yourself or next time I'm charging you, got it?" she asked.

Niki nodded, watching as the Turk walked away. Making a face and tossing the lock to the bench, she proceeded with her plan. Taking the box from her own locker, she emptied it's contents into Akalara's, right on top of her 'lucky thong'.

"Yes, my Pretties," she said with a maniacal laugh. "Yes, do your worst."

* * *

"So, tonight Reno said he's taking me to this really expensive restaurant in Old Midgar," Akalara gushed as she and Brit came into the locker room. "And then he said that he was going to turn me into dessert!"

Brit snorted and Akalara turned to glare at her. "Sorry," she said, popping her gum with a smirk. "Dessert, huh? Sounds...messy."

Akalara giggled. "Oh, we'll end up in the shower afterwards," she said.

"Good," Brit said, opening her locker door and blowing a bubble. "Make sure he's nice and clean before I get him tomorrow morning. I don't want any leftovers, ya know what I mean?"

The green haired woman narrowed her eyes. "Aren't you just the slightest bit jealous, Brit?" she asked. "I mean, Reno's got at least three girls..."

Snickers came from Elena and the Amazons (as Kandi, Katrina and Ram were now referred to). Brit grinned at them while Akalara shot daggers from her eyes. "As I was saying," she continued. "Aren't you mad?"

"Nope," Brit answered slipping her hoodie on over her head. "Like I said before, we have an arrangement and it works for us. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to a dirt bike track with Torr. Have fun getting eaten."

Akalara stared after her partner and shook her head. She turned the dial on her locker door and opened it. She was greated by about twenty white mice eating their way through her outfit for tonight. Akalara screamed as a few fell out and landed on her now bare feet.

Niki poked her head out of the showers when she heard the shriek. Walking out with her hands clasped behind her back, she began to sing. "Mice in 'er underwear, hear her shriek... Mice in 'er underwear, hear her shriek... Mice in 'er underwear, hear her shriek! Skip to m'lou my darlin'!" she concluded with a smirk.

Akalara turned around and grabbed Niki's lapels, jerking her forward so they were nose to nose. "That...was my lucky thong!" she exclaimed, her red eyes glowing dangerously.

Niki looked into the locker and the shreaded undies. "Hmm, don't look so lucky," she said tilting her head to the side. "If it was that lucky it wouldn't have died such a horrible death. What kind of nasty shit you got on your panties anyway? It drew in a swarm of mice!"

Akalara pointed to the vermin. "These are white mice!" she exclaimed.

Niki threw her hands up. "Praise Odin!" she exclaimed. "She can see!"

"They are either used in labs as test subjects or sold in pet stores as companions for losers!" she shrieked. Akalara's face then grew sinister. "I'm calling the lab and donating them for research purposes."

Niki lept for the mice, grabbing them gently up in her arms. "No!" she exclaimed. "You can't hurt them! They're my friends!"

"I knew you planted them!" Akalara screamed. "Oh, that's it! I was going to try to co-exist with you and forget this little feud, but that is IT! You, you clinically insane bain of my existence, are going down!"

Niki gathered up her mice as Akalara stomped off. Counting them as she placed them back in their carrier she started to panic. "I'm missing two!" she cried, looking around frantically. "Pinky! Brain! Where are you?"

Elena patted her shoulder. "Don't worry, Niki, you'll find them."

"Yeah," she sniffed wiping her eyes. "They're probably just off doing what they do every night."

"What's that?"

"Trying to take over the world!"

* * *

Reno looked at his watch again. Akalara was an hour late. _Guess she's not coming_, he thought, leaning back in his chair. The door to the restaurant opened and two familiar faces walked in.

"Yo, Brit! Torr!" he called, motioning them over.

Brit gave him a strange look but came over anyway, followed by Torr. "Sup Re?" she asked, slapping his hand in greeting. "Thought you were taking Akalara out to some fancy smancy place tonight. What are you doing in Taco Hell?"

Reno gave her a _look_. "Fancy smancy?" he asked. "Nah, just gonna grab a bite to eat and then turn her into a sundae at my place, but she stood me up."

"Huh," Brit said, eyeing the menu trying to figure out what she wanted. She handed Torr some cash. "Get me a number 5, extra sour cream and a soda."

Torr pushed her money away. "I got it," he said, kissing her cheek. "Be right back."

"So what's up with Akalara?" Reno asked as Torr walked away. "I piss her off or something?"

Brit popped her gum and rubbed her scrapped knee through the hole in her jeans. "Dunno," she said. "She could have gotten into it with Niki again over you."

"Shit," Reno said, leaning forward in his chair. "They know about each other?"

"Yep," she answered. "Fighting like bitches, too."

Reno grinned lopsidedly at her. "What about you?" he asked, flicking a piece of her hair away from her face. "You getting in on the cat fight, too?"

She snorted. "Fuck no," she said, as Torr placed her food in front of her. "Thanks, T. Re, I've got more important things to worry about than that shit. There are better people to kill."

"So I'm not worth fightin' over?" Reno asked with a pout.

She took a bite of her taco. "Nope," she answered. "Sorry."

"Bitch."

"Fucktard."

"You're the coolest, you know that?"

_Crunch, crunch_. "Yep."

* * *

_**A/N: MWAH HA!!! This is fun. (grins evilly)**_

**_Reno: Put them in bikini's and a mud pit._**

**_Brit (slapping Reno): Shad up, Fucktard!_**

**_Reno: I'm gonna put your ass in there too!_**

**_Brit: Try it and I'll crush your head._**

**_Reno: I've had so much head trauma over the years..._**

**_Brit: Your OTHER head._**

**_Reno: ...I'll be good._**

**_Me (high fiving Brit): Oh yeah! That's my girl. Stay tuned for the next episode of Operation: FFR; Akalara's Revenge!_**


	16. Partnered Mission I

_**A/N: As we receive new recruits, their missions will be displayed. Until that time, we are sending our current Turks out with their new partners. However, in our first case, we have a trio of partners; Kandi, Katrina and Ram, aka Tseng's Amazons. (Total rip off of Charlie's Angels, only WAY more bad ass.)**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but this bitchin' plot and the computer in which it is written...unless I'm at work and then that computer belongs to The Company.**_

* * *

"Good morning, Amazons." 

"Good morning, Tseng," three voices said, one hungover, one groggily, the other over a mouthful of cheese danish. Oh yes, beauty, grace and elegance personified.

_Charlie gets happy, perky, chipper women_, Tseng thought in annoyance. _I get female Reno, Sleepy from the Seven Dwarfs and the Human Garbage Disposal._

Going through his normal routine, he handed Katrina the aspirin, Ram the cup of coffee and Kandi the premoistened towelette.

"Thanks," they mumbled in their respective fashions.

Tseng rolled his eyes and sat in the chair across from the couch they were lounging on. "You all have an important mission today," he said with a sigh. "Please, don't fuck it up."

"Have we ever fucked anything up, Tseng?" Kandi said licking the cream cheese out of the middle of the danish. "We are a great team."

"Yes, but this mission does not require anyone to be killed, anything to be blown up or anything to be hacked into," he explained.

"WHAT?!"

"THAT SUCKS!"

"Quit screaming!" Katrina screamed. She turned to Tseng. "What kind of fucked up mission is this?"

"Recruiting," he said. "Or, more precisely, retrieving."

"I don't get it," Ram said, her eyes still drooping as she sipped the coffee. "What are we supposed to get?"

"More precisely, whom," Tseng corrected, producing a file. He tossed it on the coffee table in front of them. "Vincent Valentine."

"That dude that helped chocobo head save the Planet twice and then did it once himself?" Kandi asked through a mouth full of pastry.

"Didn't he used to be a Turk?" Ram inquired.

"Yeah, like a long ass time ago?" Katrina added.

"Yes, and we would like him back," Tseng replied. "In his time, Valentine was a very good Turk. With the...inexperience of our group as it is, I could use another veteran amongst the ranks."

"Yeah, but isn't he...old?" Katrina asked with a smirk. "You know, like older than you?"

Tseng glared at her, opening Vincent's file. "His biological age is sixty, but he is physically stuck at 27," he answered, retrieving the photo they had on file. It had been obtained after the Deepground incident.

"Holy shit!" Kandi shrieked, dropping her danish on the floor and wiping her hands and mouth.

"Damn," Ram said chugging the scalding hot coffee and barely wincing. "He's fine."

Katrina just stared at the photo, her mouth opened and drool slightly moistening her lips. "Where is his last known location?" she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

"The last we've seen or heard from him was after the conflict with Omega," Tseng explained, noting with amusement how they instantly became professional and interested in their mission at the sight of Valentine. "He was in Edge at Tifa Lockheart's Seventh Heaven."

"Bar," Katrina smirked, looking at the other two women. "Our speciality."

"No drinking."

They balked.

Tseng raised his eyebrow. "No drinking," he repeated.

"Fine," Kandi said snatching the file and staring at the photo. "Vincent Valentine, you're as good as ours."

* * *

"Okay, so Boobs hadn't seen him in a few months," Ram said, twirling a lock of hair. "And Chocobo Head is a retarded mute." 

Kandi snickered as she typed on her laptop. "Too much Mako will do that to you," she said. "He's not in Nibelheim in that musky old coffin."

"No sign of him at the dead chick's cave either," Katrina said, tossing her cell phone up and down. "Ninja bitch said she left a few voicemail's a couple days ago, but hadn't heard from him."

"Gunarm's just as retarded as Chocobo Head," Ram said picking Kandi's pockets and finding a chocolate bar. "Tea Drinking Pilot didn't know either."

"And the lion/dog thing didn't know nothing either," Kandi said, pulling out two more candy bars and tossing one to Katrina.

"What are you...a vending machine?" Katrina asked.

"Yeah, just insert the gil up my ass," Kandi said rolling her eyes. "So, who do we got left to ask? We can't ask the Dead Cetra Chick. She's, you know, a corpse."

Katrina chewed her candy bar and thought. "If I were a super sexy enigmatic goth vampire old guy in a hot dude's body and I suffered from severe angst, where would I be?" she pondered.

"Slitting your wrists," Kandi snickered, producing a bottle of soda from inside her suit jacket.

"That's fucked up," Ram commented.

Kandi shrugged. "She would be," she countered.

"No, the soda thing," Ram said. "You really are a fucking vending machine."

Katrina snapped her fingers. "I got it!" she said. "I'd be stalking the people who were trying to find me."

"That's ridiculous, you spaztard!" Kandi said.

"She's right."

They turned, drawing their weapons and striking a very...clumsy looking pose. Katrina had shoved half her candy bar in her mouth, Ram was licking her fingers and Kandi was taking a drink, all while aiming their weapons at the voice.

Vincent smirked, moving closer to them. "So, you found me," he said. "Or rather, I found you. Why are you looking for me?"

"We've come to tell you that you've won the Editor's Whorehouse Sweepstakes and that you are 1 million gil richer!" Kandi said with a cheesy smile, dribbling diet soda from her mouth.

Vincent's ducked his mouth behind the collar of his cape to hide his smile. "So...this is what the Turks have come to, is it?" he asked. "Jokes and junk food."

"Hey, we're sexy when we're binging!" Ram said defensively. "And we're lethal."

"But your skills at finding your target are lacking significantly," Vincent told them, watching as they straightened themselves and holstered their guns.

"Mr. Valentine, I highly doubt you would be found if you didn't want to," Katrina said, casting him a flirtacious smile.

Vincent inclined his head. "No, I suppose you are correct," he conceded. "I must admit, however, that Tseng recruits are more...attractive than Veld's were."

"The vampire thinks we're cute!" Kandi giggled.

"You still haven't answered me," Vincent said. "Why were you looking for me?"

"Tseng wants you back in the Turks," Ram told him. "Though we have raw talent...it's exactly that; raw. He needs more experience to train us properly."

"Hmph," Vincent said, eyeing the three women, the red-head in particular. "I suppose I could lend my help. I'm not presently engaged in anything."

Kandi grinned. "Bitchin'," she said, going back to her laptop. "I'll email Tseng and let him know you agreed."

"Sweet," Ram said nodding before heading over to help Kandi. "This is going to be interesting to say the least."

Katrina eyed Vincent, the flirtacious smile returning. She walked up to him and stood nose to nose with the gunman. "I look forward to working under you, Sir," she purred.

Vincent's eyebrows raised. Oh yes...the Turks had _definitely_ changed.

* * *

**Mission Report: Target retrieved and reinlisted in the Turk ranks.**

**Turks Assigned: The Amazons**

**Status: Rookies; Second-Level**

**Specialties: See individual profiles**

**Target: Vincent Valentine; Ex-Turk, Member of AVALANCHE**

**Death by: Not Applicable**

**Mission Complete**

* * *

_**A/N: I know...totally retarded, right? I felt like being goofy. I'm a vending machine! LOL at myself! But, good news...Vincent's back!!! WOOT!!! Review please!**_


	17. Partnered Mission II

_**A/N: Next partnered mission, featuring Magni Zeal and Elena. (This came out of a popcorn fused conversation last night between me and KD Zeal via YIM.)**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but this bitchin' plot and the computer in which it is written...unless I'm at work and then that computer belongs to The Company.**_

* * *

Reno snickered as he saw the number of hits his little post to the message board was getting. Of course, it was just a link to some story that had been written about a certain Turk leader, but still..._he_ posted it. 

The doors to his office burst opened and Tseng came in, face flushed with indignation. "Where did you get that?" he demanded.

Reno shrugged. "Found it online," he answered. "I didn't realize we Turks were such celebrities as to inspire fanfictions, Sir. You should be honored."

Tseng flipped out his cell phone and dialed the number to the IT department. "Kandi, I want that post removed and the IP address traced to the writer of the story," he ordered. "Call me when you have the results."

He dialed another number. "Elena, you and Magni come to my office immediately," he ordered. "I have a mission for you."

Turning back to Reno, he sneered. "As for you," he hissed. "Since you enjoy fiction so much, I want you to write one...about you, pregnant with Kadaj's child."

"The kid died before he hit puberty," Reno said. He did a double take. "Yo, what?! Me? Pregnant?"

"An eye for an eye, Reno," Tseng said as he exited. "Or rather, a fetus for a fetus."

* * *

Magni gaped as she read the print out of the fiction involving a very pregnant and very hormonal Tseng. "I wonder what male maternity clothes would look like," she pondered. Shuddering, she crumbled up the papers and threw them aside. "Beside the disturbing plot line, it was a well-written piece of fiction." 

"It's disgusting and the person who came up with it needs to be shot, execution style," Elena grumbled.

"Oh, you're just pissed that it wasn't your child he was preggers with," Magni snorted. "Who'da thought that the Ancients could impregnate males from the Lifestream like that? Now, Aeris' line will live on."

"The male torso was not meant to be distended like that," Elena said. "Tseng's six-pack marred with stretch marks? Please, that's just wrong."

"What if it was your kid?" Magni teased.

"Please, if Tseng and I have a child, I will carry it and give birth to it," she said. "Those abs are not to be touched."

"That good, huh?"

"Fuck yeah," Elena drooled. She pulled the car over to the side of the road and looked up at the apartment building. "This is the place. Apartment 68."

"Let's do it."

* * *

The lock to the front door was picked and the two women in black made their way into a dark, poorly kept apartment. Wutain take-out boxes were lined everywhere, stacked on top of pizza boxes. Empty tubs of butter littered the living room, making small towers that rested against the walls and furniture. 

"Are you sure we aren't in Reno's apartment?" Magni whispered, pulling her gloves on to keep the germs off her hands.

"Feels like it," Elena shuddered. "Except for the tubs of butter."

They stopped, listening for sounds in the apartment and hearing the unmistakable sound of the clicking of a keyboard. Elena motioned for Magni to follow her and they stepped over the mess towards the sound. A very large woman in a Mideelian print gown sat at the computer, an opened tub of butter to her left. They peered over her shoulder, reading what she was writing, their pressence undetected.

It was another Tseng mpreg fanfiction.

"Oh, that is SICK!" Magni exploded. The woman turned around sharply and stared at the two women over her. "Dude, what is your problem?!"

"Okay, first it was with Aeris' child and now Yuffie's?" Elena shrieked. "Why not MINE?!"

"Elena, chill," Magni said rolling her eyes. She turned to the woman. "Okay, so you know that male pregnancy is impossible, right? I mean, physically impossible. Doesn't work. The child and male would die."

"Uh, who are you?" the author asked.

"Oh!" Magni laughed. "Sorry! Where are my manners? I'm Magni and this is my partner Elena. We're Turks and we're here to kill you because of your sick fascination with knocking our boss up. See ya!"

With that, Magni revealed a dagger and plunged it into the woman's throat, watching as she choked on her own blood. "Well, that was easy," she said, wiping the dagger off on the Mideelian print gown and returning it to it's sheath. She pushed the dead woman away and sat down at the computer. "Let's see what else psycho bitch has."

Elena was on her cell phone. "Hey Kandi? Can you guys tap into this chick's computer? What? Who? Oh...Sage...of _course_ he already did. He's such a smart ass. I'm so going to...OH SHIVA WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?"

Magni looked to where she was pointing. "Uh, it's a dildo," she said. "Gods...virgin."

"Why does it have cables hooking it up to the computer?" Elena shrieked.

Magni heard laughter from the cell phone. Elena put it on speaker so Magni could hear. "Sage," Kandi was saying. "Explain your findings to the girls, would ya?"

The phone was traded off and Sage came on. "So, apparently, our little authoress had an online relationship with Palmer," he began. "Only, she was under the impression that he was actually Tseng. Lard-o posted as Tseng, displayed Tseng's pic as his avatar, the whole nine yards. Even told her about Wutai, crazy fucker. So, they took their online relationship to the next level. Palmer had a 'Puter Pussy he had hooked up to his computer and the dead chick had a dildo hooked up to hers. The software they were using enabled the other participant to control their devices. I'm sure the cable connected to the dildo is a USB cable?"

"Yeah..." Elena said weakly.

"Yeah, so Palmer controlled the dildo and the author controlled the pussy," he concluded. "She went under the screen name Aeris the Ancient, so that's why Tseng was preggers with the Cetran's love child in the fic. After we offed Palmer, she started writing to ease her pain from his lack of communication. And thus the story was born."

"Oh sick!" Magni exclaimed jumping up from the chair. "So, the dead chick and Palmer had virtual sex and she used that dildo and was sitting in that chair?"

"Essentially, yeah," Sage said in a bored voice. "All right, I'm outta here. Time for my lunch break. Later, Bitches."

Elena closed her cell phone. "Let's go," she said, her stomach rolling dangerously. "I've got to get out of here!"

Magni followed her out the door. "Ditto!"

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated in own residence.**

**Turks Assigned: Magni and Elena**

**Status: Magni: Rookie, Second Level; Elena: Veteran Turk**

**Specialties: See individual profiles**

**Target: Jane Doe, Author of Male Pregnancy FanFiction**

**Death by: Knife to the Throat**

**Mission Complete**

* * *

_**A/N: BLECH!!! I think I threw up a little in my mouth! Review please!**_


	18. Operation:  FFR Part III

_**A/N: Round Three...DING!!!**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but this bitchin' plot.**_

* * *

"Target is in the break room, speaking with the Red Mangina," Revan's voice came over Akalara's ear piece. "You have approximately ten minutes, Green Bitch." 

"Watch it, Sushi Boy," Akalara hissed as she removed the vent covering Niki's office. "That's not my code name."

"I don't like Green Goddess," he replied. "Reminds of some sort of diety of brocolli."

Akalara touched down on the floor and studied the office. It looked as if an insane person worked here. The infamous mice were roaming freely about the furniture, but oddly enough not leaving any droppings. She spotted a toddler's potty chair in the corner with the current paper's comic strips taped to the wall and, oddly enough, a mouse sitting on the potty chair, reading the paper as it did it's business.

"Oh, she is so fucked up!" Akalara exclaimed.

"You in?"

"Yeah," she said, sitting down at Niki's desk. She opened the bottom left hand drawer and smirked. "Gotcha, Bitch."

* * *

Niki giggled as she and Reno quickly snuck into her office, hands instantly going to clothes in an effort to remove them. 

"Shiva, I hate fucking out of area missions sometimes," Reno growled, biting at her neck. "I miss my girls."

Niki pushed him away. "Girls?" she snapped.

Reno reached out and grabbed her breasts. "Oh, yeah, Baby," he said, squeezing them before sliding her shirt off her body. "My girls."

"That's what I thought," she said, closing her eyes as his lips trailed down her neck. "I went shopping while you were gone."

"What'd ya get, Niki-chan?" he asked, nibbling her ear.

"A whole goody bag full of sex toys," she purred. Reno stepped back and grinned at her. "Saving them for a special occassion."

"Like now?" he asked.

"Oh yeah," she said, pulling him with her. She sat at her desk and opened the bottom left drawer where she kept her 'secret files'.

"Damn," Reno whistled when he saw the stash of plastic, vibrating fun. "This is going to be a long break, I guarantee!"

Niki laughed as Reno slammed his lips against hers, lifting her onto the desk and laying her back. They heard a small 'pop', but dismissed it as the desk settling under their weight. Soon, smoke filled the air and a raging fire was blazing in Niki's desk drawer.

"Holy fuck!" Reno yelled, dumping her cold coffee into the drawer to try to extinguish the flames.

"Shit! Reno no!" Niki shouted as the liquid hit the flames and ignited them further, catching Reno's sleeve on fire.

"The fuck!" Reno hollared, ripping the jacket off and stomping it on the floor. "What the hell, Niki?"

"I had Bailey's in my coffee this morning," she said, desperately trying to fan the flames down. They licked up and consumed her mission report she had worked on all morning. "Damn it! Do something, Reno!"

"I'm not a fucking fire extinguisher!"

Niki's eyes widened as she got an idea. "You have a hose!" she exclaimed. "Piss on it!"

"I can't piss on command!" he yelled back.

She opened her mouth to reply, but was hit in the face with a stream of water as the sprinkler system activated, drenching her office. The mice squeaked in protest and hid under the furniture, trying to avoid the artificial rain.

"Great," Reno said, picking up his singed and soaking wet jacket. "Just great. Now all the offices and halls are soaked because of this fire. What the hell happened?"

"I don't know," she said, looking into the blackened mess of her coveted collection of sexual enhancers. "I guess one of them shorted out or something."

The sprinklers deactivated and they looked at each other. "Well, looks like this break is shot to shit," Reno said with a lopsided grin. "Maybe tomorrow, Niki-chan. See ya, Toots."

Reno opened the door and walked out into the dripping hallway. Niki stepped out as well, notcing that everyone else was soaking wet and trying to salvage any paperwork that had been caught in the down pour.

One person, however, was dry as a bone.

"Well, well, well," Akalara said as she walked passed Niki. "It appears the source of the sprinkler's activation is in Niki's office. What's the matter? Reno too HOT for you to handle, hm? Better let a real woman take care of him, Sweetie."

"Why are you dry?" Niki asked, eyeing the imaculate uniform and hair of her green haired woman. "The sprinkler system in the whole building activates at the sign of fire. Any place you were in should have soaked you."

Akalara's face turned red as everyone stared at her for an explaination. "Well, I suppose I was in the right place in the right time," she answered before turning to leave.

"The only place that doesn't have a sprinkler system in the whole building is the air conditioning vents," Niki continued. "I know since I nap up there. You were in the vents, weren't you? You set a bomb in my desk and detonated it in the vents."

Akalara scoffed. "You really are insane," she replied. "Get some medication, Niki. You are incredibly disturbed."

She turned around and walked back to her office.

"Akalara."

The green haired woman turned her cranberry red gaze on the insane Turk. "Yes, Niki?" she asked sweetly.

"You're dead."

Akalara smirked and turned away before letting the slight hint of unease show on her face. Her ear piece activated.

"Yo, Green Bitch."

"What, Sushi Boy?"

"You still owe me a blow job for helping you."

"Oh, go fuck yourself!" she exclaimed as she flung the ear piece to the ground.

The war was just beginning.

* * *

_**A/N: Let us take a moment to remember those brave souls lost in this battle. My heart breaks at the loss of such wonderful, innocent sexual enhancers. (sobs) In lieu of flowers, please leave a review.**_


	19. Partnered Mission III

_**A/N: Partners are Akalara and Brit.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot.**_

* * *

"I don't see why its such a big deal," Brit said popping her gum as she reclined the driver's seat back and placed her sunglasses on her bloodshot eyes. Drinking until four in the morning on a work day was not a good idea. 

"He's mine, okay?" Akalara said. "She's got to get it through her thick skull that Reno belongs to me."

Brit shook her head. "Why are you targeting each other only?" she asked. "You both know I'm fucking him, too. Plus, some of the other girls are getting with him. Why this rivalry between just the two of you?"

"I don't like her," Akalara said simply. "There's something about her...I can't put my finger on it."

Brit snorted and folded her hands on her stomach. "Dominance," she said. "You both want what can't be yours exclusively. Besides, you two are just alike."

"Oh, fuck no!" Akalara exclaimed. "I am nothing like that insane bitch."

"Whatever," Brit yawned. "Wake me when you see the target."

"You're not supposed to sleep on the job," Akalara told her.

"You're also not supposed to fuck your coworkers, Miss Hypocrite, so shut the fuck up and wake me when you see the target."

Akalara opened the mission folder and read through it again. "I guess this guy is supposed to look a lot like Cloud Strife," she mused. "Running a copycat business, too."

"He just sucks at it," Brit snorted. "That's why Spikey asked Vamp Boy to have us 'take care' of it."

"Technically, Cloud didn't order a hit on the Stryfe Delivery Service," Akalara pointed out. "He just mentioned it over drinks with Vincent. Said it was ruining his name because of the similarities. Vincent asked if he wanted something done and Cloud replied affirmatively."

Brit looked at her partner over the tops of her sunglasses. "Are you always so...proper?" she asked.

"Not all the time," Akalara said defensively. "Sometimes I..."

"Hey, hey, hey!" Brit interrupted, sitting up and removing her shades. "Check it out. That looks like our boy now."

The women exited the car and approached the man who had his back to them. "Excuse me," Akalara said. The spikey haired blond simply ignored her. "Are you Cumulus Stryfe?"

Brit slammed the guy against the wall, her gun to his head. "Look, Pal," she snarled. "I'm hungover and I'm hungry as a bitch, so you better fuckin' answer my partner. Are you Cumulus Stryfe?"

The man turned around, a wicked grin on his face. "No," he replied. "I'm just the decoy."

A shot rang out and a bullet slammed into Brit's shoulder, causing her to drop her gun. She cried out in pain as she grasped at her arm and the decoy knocked her unconscious and passed her through a door into waiting arms. He turned to Akalara, who had her gun pointed at his head.

"Bring her back out here," she ordered calmly. "Do it, or you're dead."

"Sorry, Toots," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Your girlfriend is gone."

Akalara heard the sound of an engine revving and tires squealing. "Stryfe knew we were coming," she said.

"Rookie Turks are always fun to fuck with," he laughed. He dug into his pockets and took out his cell phone. He flipped it opened and it chirped. "We got one and I'll get this one. She won't put up a..."

Akalara silenced him with a bullet to the gut. He dropped his phone and fell to the ground. Quickly, she bound him and gagged him, tossing him into the trunk of her car. "You stupid fucker," she growled. "Don't ever, EVER underestimate a Turk. I can't believe you set up the ambush and then let all your back up leave with my partner."

Closing the trunk, she scanned the area and checked inside. The back door was opened, leading out into an alley way where they must have taken off with Brit. She went back outside and pocketed the guy's cell phone, flipping her own out. "Tseng," she began heavily. "We've encountered a problem."

* * *

**Mission Report: Target not found; Rookie Second Level Brittany was captured during conflict; remains MIA.**

**Turks Assigned: Akalara and Brittany**

**Status: Rookies; Second Level**

**Specialty: See individual profiles.**

**Target: Cumulus Stryfe, Owner of Stryfe Delivery Service**

**Dealth by: N/A**

**Mission Failed**

* * *

**_A/N: Our first failure. An abducted and wounded Turk. Oh, Shiva, this can't be good! Thank you to Kd Zeal's husband for the idea. Review please...and let's get Brit back!!!_**


	20. The Debriefing

**_A/N: It's debriefing time in the Turk HQ! Plus a little...information retrieval._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot._**

* * *

Tseng sat at the head of the conference table surrounded by some of his team. "All right," he began after taking a sip of his coffee. "As we all know, we have a situation. Let's start at the beginning so we can get a firmer grasp on the problem at hand. Vincent, would you care to explain the mission Akalara and Brit were assigned to?" 

Vincent, who was dressed rather dashingly in a Turk uniform, nodded his consent. "Cloud Strife told me about a copycat who was emulating him. His name, his looks, his company. The man in question is Cumulus Stryfe. He's an ex-ShinRa guard who has a disturbing obsession with Cloud and is basically trying to copy his life. He started Stryfe Delivery Service and has taken some of Cloud's clients. And if that wasn't infuriating enough, he performs bad service, which, unfortunately, reflects on Cloud. He's losing business and was venting to me about it over drinks. I offered to take care of it for him and he accepted. He had one of Cumulus Stryfe's flyers with him and gave it to me. The address Akalara and Brit were watching was that which was on the flyer. It was obviously a setup."

"Right," Tseng said as Vincent concluded. "And now we are missing a Turk."

"Sir," Akalara said, rising from her chair. "I just want to apologize for what happened to Brit. I should have been more alert and not let them take her."

"No one blames you, Akalara," Tseng told her as she sat back down. "This type of situation has happened before and, unfortunately, will probably happen again. Though we can try to expect the unexpected, every now and then, something like this will happen. It's what we do after the fact that defines us."

"So, who's gonna go get Brit?" Reno asked, his eyes flickering with emotion. "Who knows what those bastards are doing to her."

"The decoy that Akalara brought back is being interogated by Joel and Rude right now," Tseng replied with a smirk. "He'll crack soon."

Kandi burst into the conference room, Sage and Ram right behind her. "Sir," she said, making her way to Tseng and placing a paper in front of him. "We think Brit still may have her cell phone. We sent an automatic charge to keep the battery alive and pinpointed her position using the GPS in the phone. Her current location is in Junon."

Tseng nodded. "Good work," he said. "Now, if only they haven't discovered the phone on her. They could have taken it and placed it in Junon to mislead us."

"If Brit didn't want them near her, there ain't no way any of them touched her," Torr told them with a grin. "She don't take no shit."

Reno nodded in agreement and stood to his feet. "Junon, Bossman," he said to Tseng. "Who's going?"

Tseng stood as well. "Let's see how the interogation is progressing," he said, leading the way to the 'questioning chamber'. "I believe Joel will be able to finish up on his own. If such is the case, I'm sending you and Rude, Reno. Two of the best are required to get the job done."

They entered a room with a glass panel looking into the 'questioning chamber'. It was a two-way mirror, allowing them to see inside but giving the occupants only a mirror to stare into. Rude and Joel both had removed their jackets, ties and dress shirts and were dressed in their black slacks and wife-beaters. The decoy was lying on the ground, twitching, blood dripping from his nose, mouth, eyes and ears. His right arm was angled in a stomach churning way, as was his left leg, from the knee down.

Tseng went over to the intercom and pressed the button. "How are things progressing?" he asked, his voice emotionless.

Rude looked toward the glass and smirked. "Fairly well," he answered as Joel picked the decoy up and set him back in his chair, twisting his left arm back and bringing his elbow down on his bicep, snapping the bone in two, eliciting a shriek from the man. "The kid's a natural."

Tseng chuckled before pressing the intercom button again. "Any information yet?" he inquired.

Rude turned to Joel, who held the decoy's fingers. "That's the boss," Joel told him, taking a finger and pulling it back. "He wants to know where your buddies took his Turk. Now, you know what we are capable of. You've got very few bones left to break. After they are all snapped, the knives come out. And you've got a whole lot of skin that's just begging to be sliced. You gonna tell us what we need to know?"

The decoy panted and swallowed hard. Joel took the little finger of his left hand and bent it back, snapping the bone. The man screamed as tears mixed with blood coming from his eyes. "Ju-Junon," he whispered. "They're in Junon."

"Where in Junon?" Tseng asked, annoyance lacing his voice. "I don't want to spend any time trying to locate them. Where are they stationed?"

"Under the weapons shop," he told him. "In the SOLDIER barracks."

"Thank you," Tseng said with mock civility. "Cure him enough to keep him alive then place him in confinement. If he lied...well, we'll take this fun passtime up again. Good work, Joel. Rude, come with me."

Rude exited the 'questioning chamber', grabbing his jacket, shirt and tie on the way out. He began rearranging his uniform as Tseng spoke. "I'm sending you two to Junon," he said, addressing Rude and Reno. "The information the decoy gave us is consistent with the GPS data we received from Brit's phone. And Turk retrieval is something I need two of my best on. You know the drill."

"No survivors, no witnessess," Reno said, mock saluting him. He slapped Rude on the shoulder. "Kiss your girl. I'm driving the chopper."

Rude grunted and smirked at Kandi. He patted her ass and gave her a kiss. "See ya, Babe," he said.

"Break a leg," she said sweetly. "You know, someone else's."

"Got it," he said, following his partner out the door.

"All right," Tseng said. "Back to work. Sage, keep the charge up on Brit's cell phone battery. We need to know if they move her again."

Sage nodded and grabbed Ram's arm. "We're on it," he said, winking to the blond.

Kandi laughed as Joel came out of the 'questioning chamber'. "Looks like I'm not wanted," she said, rolling her eyes to Katrina.

The red head winked at Vincent. "I'd say not," she said. "They're cute together, though."

Kandi followed her friend's line of vision. "Ever gonna make a move on the vampire?" she asked.

"He's not a vampire," Katrina told her. "Shut up. You're the one fucking the big guy."

"What can I say?" Kandi shrugged. "I like them big and bald."

"Hmm," Joel said, shrugging his shirt back on. "Guess I'll have to shave my head if I want to take you out to dinner then, huh?"

She turned, looking him up and down. "Maybe," she said with a smile. "Maybe not."

He returned the smile. "Guess I need to see if you're actually gonna be worth it," he said as he walked out the door. "I really like my hair."

Kandi's mouth dropped as he disappeared. "I think he just insulted me!" she said with indignation.

She turned. Katrina was leaving with Vincent, Tseng and Elena were walking and talking, and everyone else had left. Pouting, she reached into her jacket pocket and produced a chocolate bar and began to eat it.

"Well...fuck."

* * *

**_A/N: I love making fun of my character! She's such a fucktard. And my own husband dissed me! Anyway, on to Junon to get Brit. Operation: FFR will be postponed until we get our Turk back. Sorry this chapter was late in getting up. I've had a severe head cold and assassinations were the last thing on my mind. Review!!!_**


	21. Captivity

_**A/N: Brit's captivity.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot.**_

* * *

She woke up feeling as if her head weighed a metric ton. Brit pried her eyes open, looking around in the semi-darkness. There was a single light in her room, but even that was too much. She found that she was laying face down on a hard concrete floor and, after trying to push herself up, was met with a searing pain in her left arm. 

_Shit_, she thought. _Right_. _Bullet_.

Pushing herself up with her right arm only, she sat up and looked around her surroundings. "Oh come on," she hissed. "What is this? A fucking dungeon?"

She was in a about an 8 by 10 cell, complete with metal bars. It looked about as ancient as...well, the Ancients. Leaning her head against one of the hard walls, she patted herself down. Smirking, she reached into her hidden pocked of her jacket and looked at her cell phone. Fully charged, but no signal. However, the GPS indicator was flashing, notifying her that her whereabouts were known.

Footsteps were coming down the corridor. Brit quickly put her phone back in her pocket and waited until the person came up. She smirked. It was the target.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," Cumulus greeted pleasantly. "I trust you slept well?"

"Like a baby," she replied, stretching lazily. "So, when's room service coming by? I feel like waffles today."

He huffed. "Sorry, but they'll probably be a little delayed in granting your request," he said.

"Well, what kind of cheap ass themed hotel you running here?" she asked. "I request the dungeon suite and then I don't get room service? What the fuck?"

Cumulus just stared at her. "You do realize you have been captured, right?" he inquired.

Brit rolled her eyes. "Holy shit, you really are a dumb fuck," she snarled as she rose to her feet. "Sarcasm. Look it up, asshole."

He snarled at her. "I hate Turks," he spat out. "You all are always so cocky."

"There's a reason for that," she replied with a smirk. "We're that good."

"Then why did I capture you?" he countered.

Brit stepped forward and grasped the metal bars. "What makes you think you did?" she asked with a grin.

Cumulus took a step back. "This...was a setup?" he asked, looking around as if expecting to be surrounded by the entire Turk force.

Brit laughed. "Nah, I was just hung over as hell. And I like fuckin' with people's heads," she said, reaching into her pants pockets for her gum. It wasn't there. "Shit. Yo, you got any chews?"

"Chews?" he asked.

"Yeah, gum?" she replied slowly. "Stuff you stick in your mouth and chomp on but don't swallow. Mine's gone."

"Sorry, no gum."

"Damn," she said, then shrugged. "Oh well. I guess I'll survive. So, what's the plan, Cumulus? You just gonna keep me locked up in here until you figure out what to do with me?"

He stared at her as if pondering exactly that. She smirked at him. "Well, well, well," she said. "You _don't _know what to do with me, do you?"

"Of course I do," he said as he turned to go. Two guards took positions on either side of the metal bars. "If she tries anything, shoot her."

"Already been shot, Chief," she called as he left. She looked at her two guards. "Sup guys? Either of you got any gum?"

The one on the left reached into his pockets and handed her a piece. "Yo, thanks, Man," she said, sticking it in her mouth. "I'll remember not to kill you when I get outta here. I might maim you, though. You understand, right? Girl's gotta do what she can in a sitch like this."

Neither one of the guards said a word.

Brit sighed and rubbed her left shoulder, feeling the bullet with her fingers. "Y'all are some real good company," she grumbled. "You could at least tell me who won the ball game last night between Kalm and Wutai."

"Wutai."

"No kidding?" she asked is disbelief. "Well, fuck I owe that bastard Tseng 50 gil. I hate when he's right. Of course, he _is_ Wutain. He probably did some sort of weird tea leaf reading thing to find out the score and everything. He's a crazy fuck, I'm telling you."

The guards continued to look ahead, not even paying any attention to her. Which was fine with her.

She about had the lock picked anyway.

* * *

**_A/N: Heh heh. Brit's fun to write. Review please!_**


	22. Retrieval

_**A/N: It's Retrieval Time!**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but this bitchin' plot.**_

* * *

Reno landed the chopper on the airstrip in Junon and began flicking the switches to shut the engine down. "All right, Partner," he said as he put his headphones on the control panel. "Let's get our girl back." 

Rude nodded and lept out of the chopper, going to the back to retrieve their gear. As soon as he opened the hatch, a rumpled mess of black suit and sable hair came pouring out the back, landing with a thud on the rain dampened concrete.

"Owie," she said, rubbing her backside.

"Niki-chan?" Reno asked, staring at her in disbelief. "What the hell? Why are you here?"

Niki stood up and dusted off her suit. "I want to help get Brit back," she said, her eyes misting over with tears. "For you. Because I know how much you like her."

Reno's fierce glare softened and he took her in his arms. "Tseng's gonna suspend you for this, you know that?" he asked, stroking her hair.

"I'll claim insanity," she answered with a grin. "Come on. Let's go get her."

* * *

Brit grinned as her foot connected with the throat of another guard on her route to escape. She was rather insulted that Cumulus had only posted two guards at her cell and three more along the way. Well, so far anyway. True to her word, she hadn't killed the one who had given her gum. She just knocked him unconscious for about 3 hours. And dislocated his shoulder. And broken his leg. Not much harm done. 

Her shoulder was beginning to throb where the bullet was lodged. She knew she needed medical care. Though she hated doctors, they did have their usefullness, such as removing bullets and prescribing some kick ass pain meds. Oh yeah, she was looking forward to the pain meds.

Humming to herself, she continued to walked until she reached the main drag of Junon. The shops lined the streets and she noted she had been under the weapons shop. Then she stopped and grinned.

"Hello, hello," she said, walking around the six-cylinder Valkyrie. She reached into the hidden pocket of her jacket and produced her lock picks, hot wiring the bike in 3 seconds. She stradled the bike and smirked. "Oh yeah, Baby. Let's you and me go for a ride."

She revved the engine and gunned it, leaving a trail of rubber and smoke where she had been. Brit manuevered the bike through the streets toward the airstrip. She figured that be the easiest way to escape via her commandiered bike. She avoided pedestrians, making sure not to harm any of the innocent people of Junon. Suddenly, she caught a shock of red and stopped, the tires of the bike screetching to a halt.

"Reno?" she asked herself. She let loose an ear piercing whistle and the red head, accompanied by Rude and Niki turned. Brit gave them a cocky wave. "Sup guys? Fancy meeting you here. Is their a party I wasn't invited to or something?"

Reno grinned at her and shook his head as they made their way to her. "We're here to rescue you," he said, moving her suit jacket off her shoulder and inspecting the wound. "Need to get your ass to the doctor, Brit."

"Yeah, it's lodged in their pretty good," she commented. "Stopped bleeding though, so I don't think its too bad. Just a little tender so STOP POKING IT!"

Reno removed his hands and held them up. "Okay, okay," he said. "Ungrateful bitch."

"Whatever," she said. "Y'all bring a chopper or what?"

"It's at the airstrip."

Brit patted the bike. "Got room for my new toy?" she asked hopefully.

"'Fraid not, Babe," Reno said with a grin. "Just a small chopper."

Brit got off the bike reluctantly. "Damn," she said. She wobbled a bit, due to her blood loss. Rude caught her before she fell.

"You okay, Brit?" he asked.

She grinned as the big guy scooped her into his arms. "I think I'm still hungover as hell from the other night," she replied. "So, I get three Turks sent after me? I must be special."

"Two Turks and a stowaway," Reno corrected as they headed back to the chopper. "Don't go gettin' a big head about it, aight?"

"Bitch," she grumbled. She turned to Niki. "Sup girl? Get any good digs in on Akalara while I was on vacation?"

"Waiting til you got back," Niki answered, skipping a little next to Reno. "Got something really good planned. Wanted you to be able to enjoy it."

"Don't get in trouble with the Bossman," Brit said. She gestured to Reno. "He ain't worth it."

"I heard that," Reno grumbled. Rude chuckled as he settled Brit into the back of the chopper and Niki climbed in beside her.

"Try to keep her conscious, okay Niki?" Rude instructed.

Niki saluted. "You got it, Cueball!" she said with a grin. She turned to Brit. "So, how'd you get out?"

"Picked the lock on the jail cell and kicked some guards ass," she said. "You know, standard Saturday night."

Reno flipped the switches on the chopper and lifted the bird into the air. "Well, this was slightly disappointing," he stated. "We didn't get to kill anyone."

"I killed four, it that's any consolation," Brit told him with a grin. "That's one for each of us, so quit your bitchin'."

Rude shook his head and called Tseng on his cell phone. "Retrieval complete, Sir."

* * *

**Mission Report: Brittany, Rookie; Second Level, retrieved from captors. **

**Turks Assigned: Reno and Rude**

**Status: Veteran Turks**

**Specialties: See individual profiles**

**Target: N/A**

**Death by: N/A**

**Mission Complete**

* * *

**_A/N: Woot! Brit's back! Now, what happens next? You can't just capture one of Tseng's people and expect to go on as if nothing ever happened. Oh no...doesn't work that way. Reveiw!_**


	23. Retribution

_**A/N: Retribution...oh yeah.**_

**_Disclaimer: Still own nothing but the bitchin' plot._**

* * *

Brit sat with her left arm in a sling, the bullet having been removed from her shoulder. The entire Turk force was in the conference room, going over the passed two days. 

"So, from what I gather, the fucker was actually trying to get Cloud to go to the fake address," she was explaining. "Wanted to get rid of him and take over his life. Real fucktard, that one."

Tseng nodded. "Well, good to have you back, Brit," he said standing to his feet. "However, there still is the matter of Cumulus Stryfe. He captured one my Turks. That will not go unanswered."

"Sir," Akalara said. "Send me. I'll be glad to take care of him. It was my partner he took."

"Thank you, Akalara," Tseng told her. "But I have already selected the team to eliminate him. Vincent, shall we?"

Vincent smirked as the rookies and veteran Turks stared at him and their leader. "Indeed."

* * *

"Okay, now ping it to make sure we got the connection," Kandi was telling Sage. The other Turks were behind her waiting for the visual from Tseng's lapel pin. 

"Back off, Bitch, I know what the fuck I'm doing," Sage grumbled. He entered a few commands and the screen came up with a view of Tseng leaping out of the chopper. Vincent came into view as the two Turk legends walked side by side into Junon.

"We have the visual, Sir," Elena said into the communicator. "Make us proud."

"Yo, Elena, I think you got a little brown on your nose there, Babe," Reno said, his arm wrapped around Brit as Akalara sat in his lap and Niki played with his hair.

"Knock it off, Assfuck," Brit said popping her gum.

"You know, some of us are actually watching," Katrina said, throwing the popcorn Kandi had pulled out of her suit jacket, piping hot.

"Yeah, so shut your hole, Loser," Ram said, reaching inside Kandi's jacket and getting a soda.

"Hey, Vending Machine, ya got any chocolate?" Joel called from the back.

"What's your preference?" she replied.

"You got choices?"

"What, you think I got that vile nickname from carrying only one kind?" she smirked.

"Something with peanut butter, then," he answered.

She chucked him a candy bar and went back to viewing the screen, munching on the popcorn with Katrina. "Okay, everyone shut up," she said. "They're at the base."

The screen showed Vincent leading the way, Cerberus drawn and ready. Tseng's firearm came into view as he followed closely behind his partner. Three guards came down the corridor, their weapons drawn. Vincent shot them down in under two seconds.

"Not going to let me have any fun, Valentine?" Tseng asked.

Vincent smirked. "You'll have to be quicker than that," he replied. "I think you've spend too much time behind a desk, my friend."

"Hmm...perhaps so."

"Shiva, I wonder what kind of sick, twisted assassination those two have planned?" Feather asked excitedly, stuffing potato chips into her mouth. "This is gonna be sweet!"

"Nothing's as good as my sushi bit," Revan smirked.

"I doubt their gonna sell Cumulus to a restaurant in Junon, Rev," Torr scoffed. "Tseng'll probably rip his heart out and show it to him while he's still alive."

"Nah, Vincent will transform in Galian beast and kick some ass," Magni said, sitting on the edge of her seat. "This is better than a movie!"

"Shut up," Rude snapped. "They're in."

Everyone watched, silent, breathless as the two black haired men crept into Cumulus Stryfe's office. Vincent leapt into the air and landed on the desk, facing the imposter and smirking.

"Cumulus Stryfe?" Tseng asked, his gun pointed at the base of the man's skull.

"Y-yes?"

"Thank you."

The report of the gun echoed, followed by the low cursings of Vincent. "You could have at least let me move," he said, brushing off his suit jacket. "Do you know how hard it is to get brain matter off of a uniform?"

Tseng laughed; yes, laughed. "You've got some in your hair, as well," he said between chuckles. The lapel pin was moved and Tseng's face came into view. "And that, my friends, is how you perform an assassination. Sometimes a more...inventive approach is required, but when it comes down to it, the demise of the target is the key. Now, get back to work."

"Sir!"

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated via bullet to the head.**

**Turks Assigned: Tseng and Vincent Valentine**

**Status: Turk Leader and Senior Turk**

**Specialities: You name it, they do it.**

**Target: Cumulus Stryfe, Owner of Stryfe Delivery Service**

**Death by: Gunshot wound to the head**

**Mission Complete**

* * *

**_A/N: That's old school, BABY! Tseng and Vincent ROCK! I'm sorry, but them working together turned me on a little bit. Review!!!_**


	24. Classified

_**A/N: Operation: FFR will be back soon as well as new missions for the new recruits who's applications have been temporarily misplaced by Reno. As soon as he locates them, we will be back in business.**_

**_Reno: I didn't MEAN to lose them._**

**_Me: Uh huh. Anyway, this is a special request from one of my best friends, and it has to be done. MamaBear...for you._**

**_Disclaimer: STFU, it's still not mine. Except this plot. You steal, you will become a part of this fic...on the receiving end of an assassination. Do we have an understanding? Good._**

* * *

Rufus knocked on Tseng's door before entering the Wutain's office. "Sir," he said, rising to his feet as Rufus closed the door. "I wasn't aware we had a meeting." 

"We don't," Rufus said, his voice clipped. "I have a personal situation I need for your group to eradicate for me. Or rather, for my aunt."

Tseng blinked. "Your aunt, Sir?" he inquired. "I wasn't aware..."

"She was my mother's only sibling," Rufus explained as he sat down, gesturing for Tseng to do the same. "Michelle is one of the kindest women I've ever known, and she is being...pestered by two persons who I wish to be eliminated, in all haste."

Tseng smirked. "Of course, President," he said with an inclination of his head. "Have you the details on the targets?"

"Jules and Jamie Avaya," he replied. "Her ex-husband and his wife. Michelle and her husband are trying to raise her 16 year old daughter to be a young lady and these two cretons are hindering that process. They undermine everything my aunt says or does, promising freedom to my young cousin and then snatching it away. Michelle called me in tears over something Jules said about my cousin. After giving her a cell phone and the freedom to text message as much as she wished, she ran up a $300 bill, in text messages alone. Jules called her a brat and irresponsible. He then proceeded to say that he would only have to pay for one semester in college because she would not make it to the second semester."

"The man has a lot of faith in his own child, doesn't he?" Tseng mused sarcastically.

"Indeed," Rufus said, rubbing his chin. "Make it look like an accident. My cousin is the beneficiary on their life insurance policies."

"Consider it done, Sir."

"Excellent."

* * *

Jules Avaya pulled up to the building where his wife worked and parked the car, waiting for her to come out. Fifteen minutes later, she still hadn't come out. Exasperated, he flipped out his phone and called her. 

"Hello?" came the harried answer.

"Where are you?" he snapped.

"I'm coming out the doors right now!" she hissed, shouldering her bag and fumbling with some paperwork. "I've had a hell of a day, so don't even start with me."

Jules flipped his phone closed and waited for his wife to enter the car. "You ask me to pick you up, I expect your ass to be out here when you tell me to be," he told her.

Jamie snapped her head around and glared at her husband. "I told you not to start with me," she warned. "I don't want to listen to you gripe at me because I was a few minutes getting out to the car."

"What the hell is wrong with your car anyway?" he asked as he pulled out into traffic.

"I parked near a tow-away zone and they took it to the impound down the street," she explained. "Just take me by there and pay the fee and we'll get it out."

"Ramuh, Woman! How much is that going to cost me?" he asked as he switched lanes. "You're more expensive than that damn daughter of mine."

"Just remember, she's _your_ daughter," Jamie snapped. "I had nothing to do with your spawn."

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled. "Of course the child with no drive would be mine."

"Park here and let's get my car back," she said, pointing to a spot on the street. She held her hand out. "Give me your credit card."

Jules sighed and shook his head, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet. "You know, I swear, sometimes I think the Lifestream would be better than this," he grumbled, shifting through the contents of his wallet.

Jamie snatched the card out of his hand and turned to open her door. She never completed the motion. One of the cranes at the construction site the lot over malfunctioned, dropping a 5 ton beam on top of the car, crushing both the occupants. After a safety inspection on the crane had been performed and deemed satisfactory, construction resumed. However, the crane's operator decided to resign. Didn't matter, however. It was the bald man's first day on a temporary job. The Temporary Urgent Request Kiosk Staffing firm would find him something better suited to him.

* * *

Rufus placed his arm around his young cousin comfortingly at the memorial service for her father and step-mother. The bodies had been too badly crushed for an open casket service, thus they had been cremated and their ashes scattered off the deck of a ShinRa airship. And now, the sixteen year old girl was chatting with her mother quietly, remembering some of the better times with the deceased. 

Michelle caught Rufus' eye and silently thanked him. He nodded with a small smile for his aunt and excused himself, telling his young cousin to call if she needed anything. Tseng and Vincent met him at the exit and escorted him out to the waiting limo.

"Well done," Rufus said softly.

Vincent smirked and Tseng merely nodded. "Of course, Sir."

* * *

**Mission Report: Classified**

**Turks Assigned: Classified**

**Status: Classified**

**Specialities: Classified**

**Target: Classified**

**Death By: Classified**

**Mission...Deleted.**

Rufus smirked. This...never happened.

* * *

**_A/N: Hey, Rufus?_**

**_Rufus: Yes?_**

**_Me: I think I'm gonna start using you more. You're a real bad ass, you know that?_**

**_Rufus: I'll take that as a compliment._**

**_Me: You should. It was meant as such. I might send you in undercover or something. Give Magni a chance to molest you._**

**_Rufus (smirking): I think I would enjoy that._**

**_Me: Yeah...you would. Assignment time for my Turks from the Bosslady: REVIEW!!! Any Turk who doesn't review gets toliet cleaning duty. PALMER'S toliet. Thing hasn't been cleaned since before his untimely passing. So I suggest you hit that little button._**


	25. Operation:  FFR Part IV

_**A/N: Round Four...DING!!!**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but this bitchin' plot.**_

* * *

Akalara entered the office she shared with Brit. "Hey, we got an assignment today?" she asked hopefully. 

"Fuckin' hell no," Brit grumbled, tossing pencils up in the air and sticking them in the ceiling. "Tseng ain't sending us out until the Medical Facility releases my ass. Sorry, Ak. We're stuck doing paperwork like bitches til then."

Akalara sighed and sat at her desk and checked her email. "That's okay, Brit," she said. "This kind of thing happens sometimes. No worries. We'll be back out kicking ass in no time."

Brit balked. "You just said ass!" she exclaimed. "Holy shit! I'm finally fucking rubbing off on you! This calls for a celebration!"

Brit reached into her bottom desk drawer which she had converted into a mini fridge and pulled out two bottles of beer. Akalara stared at her. "It's not even 9:30 in the morning!" she exclaimed. "And why do you have beer in the office?"

"Okay, take the recently removed stick back outta your ass and drink with me," Brit ordered, tossing her a bottle. "We aren't getting assigned to anything with my arm still in a sling anyway. Just paperwork. Alcohol will make the paperwork more entertaining."

Akalara twisted the top off her beer. "What shall we drink to?" she asked as Brit brought her bottle to her lips.

"What, we have to drink to something?" she asked with a smirk.

"To condone drinking this early, yes."

"Fine," she said rolling her eyes. She lifted her beer. "To Reno. He's a fine fuck!"

Akalara raised her beer. "To Reno," she said and drank down half the bottle. She blinked her eyes. "Maybe I should have had breakfast."

Brit snickered. This was going to be an interesting day.

* * *

Akalara was laying on her desk, staring at her ceiling. "There are exactly 278 holes in each ceiling tile," she commented, taking another drink of her seventh beer. Or maybe it was her seventeenth. She didn't know. 

"You sure about that?" Brit asked looking up. "I think mine have some more."

"That's just because...because you keep sticking those...writing thingies in the ceiling," she replied.

"Riight," Brit said, knocking back another beer. There was a knock on the door and a delivery man came in, carrying a dozen red roses and a balloon that read, "For My Sweetie."

"Akalara?" he asked, looking at each of them.

Brit pointed to her partner. "That's her," she said. "The Green Bitch."

"Fuck you," Akalara grumbled, sitting up on her desk and going through the roses searching for the card.

"Woot!" Brit exclaimed digging out two more bottles of beer. "Another swear, another beer."

"No!" Akalara moaned. "No more. I'm gonna feel like awful later."

Brit tossed the beer to the delivery guy. "Fine, then we'll tip the man with it," she said with a grin.

"Hey, thanks!" the man said with a smile.

"No prob," Brit smirked as he left. "Who they from?"

Akalara giggled. "Reno," she said as if it was supposed to be obvious. "Now aren't you jealous? He sent me flowers and not you."

"That's cuz he knows I'd shove them up his ass if he did," Brit said. "I hate those things. They're a waste of money. They just die. Now, if he bought me a 12 pack of Odins, that's a useful gift."

"You'd rather get condoms than flowers?"

"Fuck yeah."

"You really are messed up," she said. She looked at the balloon. "This is weird. It's not floating. It's just stuck in with the flowers." She poked it and something inside made a sloshing noise.

"Maybe it's beer," Brit laughed. She reached for a pencil. "One way to find out!"

With a perfect aim, Brit threw the pencil right at the balloon, popping it. The liquid substance inside exploded all over Akalara and her desk. Brit laughed again.

"Gross!" Akalara screamed, leaping from her desk. "What the hell is this shit?!"

"Two more beers!"

"Stop with the drinking game already!" she yelled, wiping the white goo off her. "Yuck! This smells like rotting mayonnaise and...meat! Oh gross! This is nasty!"

Their office door creeked open and a small siamang crept in, it's four arms held behind it's back.

"Oh shit, I've drank too much," Brit said eyeing the creature. "That monkey has four arms. Oh Shiva, it's a spider monkey!!"

Laughing at her own joke, Brit fell on the floor. "Spiders have eight arms, you twit," Akalara said, still scrubbing at her suit. She stared at the siamang as it approached her. "I think that's Niki's. She 'liberated' it from the labs. Which basically means she stole company propertly. Along with those damn mice of hers."

"More beer!" Brit cheered reaching into her desk. She looked at the siamang. "Uh, it's got something in it's hands."

Akalara looked at the creature and shrieked when it flung what it was holding at her. Sticking to her already sticky suit were hundreds of maggots, eating the mayonnaise/meat concoction off her uniform. "AAAAAHHHHH!" she screamed, running out of the office with the maggots coating her. "Get it off, get it off, get it off!"

Brit watched as the siamang jumped up to the airconditioning vents and made a noise. The vent opened and Niki jumped down, picking the siamang up and patting her gently. "Good work, Kali," she said. She grinned at Brit. "How's the arm?"

"Hurts like a bitch," she said, tossing the clinically insane Turk a beer. "Good one. Thanks for waiting on that one."

"No problem," Niki said, sharing the beer with Kali. "It'll just keep getting better and better."

* * *

_**A/N: This operation is fun as hell! Okay, Special Announcement Time: There is a special Turk assignment that is going to be happening. Not in this fic, but elsewhere. For more details, please PM Akalara (aka, dantesdarkqueen). This assignment will involve working with Reno. That is all. Oh and REVIEW!!!**_


	26. Applicant Number Eleven

_**A/N: Our next applicant is mysticjc1. Good luck.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot...and Cheerios. Just kidding. Those aren't mine.**_

* * *

The Prophet inspected his church with an appraising eye. The old warehouse had been converted into a sanctuary for his 'flock'. He smirked, watching as the cleaning woman wheeled her cart around, polishing the new pews that had been installed in the church. Only, it wasn't really a church. It was a scam. 

Jakes had revealed to several people his 'vision', a vision of a great celestial being, whose powers far surpassed that of the gods who could only utilize their strength when summoned by humans. This being was the fabeled Crimson Chocobo.

Chuckling to himself at the absurdity of it all, he continued strolling the place where now hundreds gathered to worship the fictional being. In the after effects of Meteor and then more recently, Omega, people were prone to believe in anything greater than themselves. So, Jakes had devised a plan, a brilliant plan. He gave the people a being to worship and they gave him their gil.

And, on many occassions, the women gave him their bodies. Either willingly or by force. After all, what the Prophet proclaimed was the will of the Great Crimson Chocobo.

In essence, Jakes was no more than a petty thief and rapist. All under the guise of religion.

He eyed the cleaning woman with a predatory eye. She was very pretty. A little too short for his tastes, but she had a well-toned build. As he approached her, she smiled at him, her eyes catching his. She had the most astonishing eyes he'd ever seen. They were clear as glass, blue around the edges and flame red around the pupil. He smirked to himself. With those eyes, he could convince her and his followers that she was the divine Prophetess chosen by the Crimson Chocobo. Of course, to make perfectly sure of that fact, the Prophet himself would have to engage in the most intimate of tests to deem her worthy of such a title.

Jakes stopped on the opposite side of her cleaning cart. "My child," he said warmly. "Do you know the love of the Crimson Chocobo?"

She shook her head as she rubbed down a pew. "No, Sir," she answered, her accent strong. It was obvious she lived near the vicinity of the Chocobo Farm, as she possessed a sort of lazy, yet charming, drawl. "I find it hard to believe that an animal with the brain the size of my fist created the Planet."

"Have you no faith, my dear?" he asked mockingly.

"I have plenty of faith," she answered, staring into his eyes. "I have faith that the Planet that houses us also provides for us. And if we take care of her, she will take care of us."

"You place your faith and devotion in a planet?" he scoffed. "A planet that causes earthquakes and storms that kill thousands of it's children?"

"And you place your faith in a large feathered beast who lacks the ability to speak and think beyond eating and breeding?" she countered. She cocked her head. "Or is that why you worship the Crimson Chocobo? Because it's priorities are the same as yours?"

"Hardly," he snorted. "I place breeding higher than eating."

She smiled. "You are nothing but a con-artist and a rapist," she told him, grasping the handle of her broom in her cart. "In fact, you are a registered sex offender. Did you tell your followers that?"

"I have been ordained by the divine Crimson Chocobo and made the Prophet," he hissed. "My word is sacred."

She reached into her cart and withdrew a pump action shotgun, aiming it right at his face. "You're a fucking liar and a cheat," she said, cocking the gun. His face paled before it exploded with the force of the shots ripping through his flesh. "May the Crimson Chocobo have mercy on your black soul."

Shouldering her shotgun, she walked out of the church, leaving it's Prophet laying in a puddle of his own blood. "Prophecy that," she grumbled, slamming the doors opened.

* * *

"You okay, Nilto?" Rude asked, somewhat concerned that the new recruit hadn't spoken since he picked her up from her assignment. 

"Yeah," she said softly. "Its just...you know, it makes me sick how blind some people can be to scams like that...you know? He was raping women and robbing families of their gil, all with false promises of redemption from a big, red bird."

"I know," he agreed calmly. "Faith is a good thing, but when someone exploits the eagerness of broken people to believe...well, we do what we do."

Nilto looked over at the big man and smiled. "Have you ever spoken that many words at one time?"

Rude chuckled quietly. "No," he said with a grin. "But you looked like you needed a friend. I'll take you back to headquarters. We'll see if your husband did as well as you did on his assignment."

Nilto grinned. "Thanks Rude."

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated by shotgun shell to the face.**

**Turk Assigned: Nilto**

**Status: Rookie**

**Speciality: Demon exorcisim and Tae Kwon Do**

**Target: Keith Jakes, Registered Sex Offender and Leader of the Cult of the Crimson Chocobo**

**Death by: Shotgun**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

**_A/N: Getting back to the new recruits. Randak...you're next! _**

**_Reno: WHOA!! Wait just a cock-sucking minute!!_**

**_Me: Yes?_**

**_Reno: Nilto...is married?!_**

**_Me: Yes..._**

**_Reno: To...Randak?_**

**_Me: Yes..._**

**_Reno: What the FUCK?! We don't hire married chicks! I can't fuck them then!_**

**_Me: She's also got kids..._**

**_Reno: Oh shit, you mean she's a MILF?_**

**_Nilto: A MILF you'll never have!_**

**_Reno: Ah...a challenge! I can handle that._**

**_Randak (drawing big ass sword): I think not._**

**_Reno (eyeing big ass sword): Yeah, I'll just stick to my four and no more._**

**_Me: Four? I thought you just had the three?_**

**_Reno: Oh...right. You need to find me another chick._**

**_Me: Get me more reviews and we'll talk._**

**_Reno: All right! Here's the deal: For every review AmazonTurk gets on this chapter, I'll take off a piece of clothing...aight?_**

**_Me: Shit...no reviews for me then._**

**_Reno: HEY!!!_**


	27. Applicant Number Twelve

**_A/N: Our next applicant is Randak. Good luck._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot and all the kick ass reviews it's getting. MWAH HA HA HA!!!_**

* * *

The girls working the streets were barely fifteen, if that. Runaways, orphans, crack babies...you name it, they were there. Richards collected his percentage of their earnings every Thursday, to get the gil off the girls before the peek days. He didn't want one of their John's to fuck 'em, kill 'em and rob 'em. That was his money after all. If they ended up dead, it was their own damn fault. But if they got his money stolen, well that just wasn't going to happen. This was a good thing and he wasn't going to lose out at all. 

Prostitution was a lucrative business in Old Midgar. Had been since before the plate dropped on Sector Seven. These girls, however, were too young for the Honey Bee. That joint didn't take no one under 18. But, given that Richards himself had certain 'fantasies' involving under age girls, he figured at least a quarter of the male population harbored those secret lusts as well. So, he took the girls to the streets, and made a killing off the merchandise.

"Yo, whatcha got?"

Richards turned to see a very tall, very built man with dark brown hair standing behind him. As most of the Planet's citizens did, he had a weapon strapped to his back. Judging from the sheer magnitude of the sword, Richards figured this guy had to be an ex-SOLDIER, or an ex-ShinRa guard at the least.

"Whatcha looking for?" he asked. "I got anything ranging from school girl, babysitter, Lolita..."

"Any of those will do," the man told him.

Richards smile. "Step into my office," he said leading the way. "We'll hook you up."

The man followed Richards, drawing his sword effortlessly. When Richards turned back around to face him, the man attacked, sheathing the metal monstrosity into Richards' vital organs.

"You don't pimp out little girls, you fucker," the man hissed as Richards coughed up blood. "That ain't right."

Making sure Richards was, in fact, dead, the man returned the sword to the scabbard on his back. He found the safe behind Richards' desk. Casting a low level ice spell, he froze the lock and hit it with the heel of his hand, shattering the metal and ice upon impact. He took the money from the safe and stashed it in a zipper bank bag that had been lying on the desk. He exited the office to see the clean up crew arriving and escorting the young women into vans.

He smiled when he saw his wife leaping out of one of the vehicles. She ran to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him fiercely. "How was work?" she asked.

"Good," he said with a grin. "Made a killin'. You?"

"Had a spiritual revelation," she said, rolling her eyes. "That all the money he took from the girls?"

"Yeah," he said tossing it in the air. "Tseng said something about Rufus wanting to us it for the girls to go to school and get better lives instead of being on the streets. He's got a dorm he's setting them up in."

"Good deal," she said with a smile. She kissed him again. "Come on, Randak. We gotta get the kids from daycare."

Randak checked his watched and cursed. "Damn!" he said, tossing the bank bag to Rude as he and Reno came up to them. "We don't wanna have to pay the late fee!"

Nilto waved to the guys. "See ya tomorrow!" she called as Randak grabbed her hand and they hurried away.

Reno placed his hand over his heart. "Oh, my MILF," he sobbed. "Odin, some guys have all the luck!"

"Says the man with the three lovers," Rude said rolling his eyes. He slapped Reno's shoulder. "Come on, let's get these girls to their new home."

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated by destruction of vital organs due to sword wound.**

**Turk Assigned: Randak**

**Status: Rookie**

**Speciality: Swordsmanship, brute strength, badass attitude**

**Target: Quintan Richards, Old Midgar Pimp of Underage Girls**

**Death by: Sword wound**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

**_A/N: All right! That's IT! These assassinations are getting too...mundane. I mean, killing with guns and swords? Who does that?! We're Turks! It's time to get a little more...inventive. _**

**_Tseng: What's wrong with old school assassinations?_**

**_Me: Nothing...except this is a fic. Meaning, I gotta keep it interesting lest I lose my audience. You know, kinda like Joey did in the middle of it's first season?_**

**_Tseng: Right. But this is my organization. I call the shots._**

**_Me: You really think that, don't you? How sweet! _**

**_Tseng (sulking): I'm the leader._**

**_Me: Okay! Now that Reno is nekkid due to reviews from the last chapter...Tseng will take off an article of clothing for each review._**

**_Tseng: I never agreed to that._**

**_Me: Yes, you did. When you sulked! I'll do the first review!_**

**_AmazonTurk says, YOU SUCK! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WRITE THIS SHIT AND PEOPLE READ IT! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A FUCKTARD!_**

**_Me: Okay, take off your pants._**

**_Tseng: That wasn't a review. That was a flame. You flamed yourself._**

**_Me: Oh...right. THIS FIC RULZZ!!! Now, strip._**

**_Tseng (begins taking off clothes): I like working with you._**

**_Me: I know...WOOT! Abs! Review for more skin!_**


	28. Applicant Number Thirteen

_**A/N: Our next applicant is xxFireDemon256xx. Good luck.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot and the music I downloaded legally off of iTunes.**_

_**Note from The Bosslady to New Recruits: If in your application you do not specify a target or method of assassination, I will assign one to you. And as this next mission will dictate, I have a fucked up imagination. (evil grin followed by sadistic laughter). Ye have been warned.**_

**_The Bosslady_**

* * *

"Reno? Are you okay?" Elena asked passing by his office as she escorted a new applicant to discuss an initial mission. She studied the red-head. "Are you...crying?!" 

"Don't be stupid," Reno said, wiping at his eyes. He gestured to his computer screen. "Some fucktard flamed my fic."

"Your what?" she asked, eyeing his computer. "Oh my gods, what the hell is that?!"

"Remember when you and Magni offed that chick for writing the mpreg about Tseng?" he inquired.

"Yeah?"

"Since I posted the link to the message boards, Tseng made me write a mpreg fic about me getting pregnant with Kadaj's kid," he said solomnly. "I was actually kinda proud of it. See, the way I wrote it, I was fuckin' drunk off my ASS and thought Kadaj was a girl, cuz you know, in the right light and with enough hard liquor in your system, he kinda looked like one. Anyways, so I pick him up at the bar and thought he was just some chick into sex with a strap on, so I let her give it to me up the ass. And because he's a fuckin' fucked up fucker remanant of Sephiroth's, his weird freaky Jenova sperm knocks me up. I thought it was pretty good, so I posted it on that same site as the dead chick...FreakyFanFantasies dot net. I was getting good reviews and had a shitload of hits, and then this fucktard...GrEeNmOoGlEgOo flames me."

"What'd he say?" the new recruit asked, looking over his shoulder.

"Read it," Reno said, highlighting the flame.

_Review from GrEeNmOoGlEgOo: omfg, u r sucha ifritdamned noob . kadaj wud nvr fuck reno . he got far fuckin betr taste thn tht . get a fuckin life u fag!!!!111_

Elena laughed. "You got flamed by some teenager, it looks like," she told him.

"We can find out," the recruit said. She motioned Reno to move out of his chair and sat before the computer. She clicked on GrEeNmOoGlEgOo's profile and then hit the Start button, selecting Run and typing in cmd in the text box. After that, Reno and Elena couldn't tell you what the hell she did. Her fingers were flying so fast on the keyboard, they were a blur. Highlighting a section of the text, she pulled Reno's internet browser back up and pasted it into a Streets & Cities program. Flicking her dark blue hair out of her eyes, she did a Google search, grinning with her results.

"What the fuck did you just do?" Reno asked.

"Each computer has a path to it that you can reach with any post, comment, remark, whatever to a message board or forum," she explained. "I simply reversed the path and followed it into the backdoor of the computer. I found the name and address of the person the computer was licensed to and then double checked the results with a Google search. Got the address to the guys house and everything. He's not a teenager. He's 39-years old and it appears that he still lives with his mother in Old Midgar." She clicked on the Streets & Cities window. "Sector Five to be exact."

"You fuckin' rock!" Reno said, kissing her cheek. "What's your name?"

"Kailani," she said, rising from the chair and facing him. She was nearly as tall as he was, just a couple inches shy of his 5'11 frame. "Everyone calls me Kai."

"You got his address and everything for real?" Elena asked. Kai nodded, pointing to the computer screen. She grinned. "Kai, looks like we got your first assignment."

Reno smiled. "Cool," he said, nodding his head. "Thanks, Laney."

She ruffled his hair. "No problem. No one calls you names but me," she said, leading the way out the door.

* * *

The locks in Sector Five were easy enough to pick and in no time, Kai was in the apartment of the flamer. She crept through the living room, peeking into each of the two bedrooms. The first one, his mother's it appeared, was neat and tidy; undisturbed. She wasn't home. The second, was dissheveled and filthy. It looked like a free-loading son would live there. And so it was. 

He was sitting on the floor, his back against his bed as he played an RPG on his gaming console. Kai grinned as she snuck back down the hall to the bathroom. Entering silently, she looked around. With a smirk she grabbed an object, heading down the hall to the kitchen. Rummaging around, she found the one thing that every household needed; a can of WD-40, complete with handy straw insert. Taking the can of WD-40, she placed the straw into the dispenser and insterted the straw into the underbelly of the pink rubber ducky, filling it with the liquid. That task complete, she took both objects and headed back into the target's room.

Exercising much stealth, she sat behind him on the bed, cross-legged. "Excuse me," she said.

He nearly jumped out of his skin and turned to face her. "What the fuck?" he exclaimed. "How did you get in here?"

"Through the door," she said, blinking. "Are you GrEeNmOoGlEgOo from FreakyFanFantasies?"

Scratching his head, he nodded. "Yeah."

She smiled. "Good," she answered, sending a long leg flying, her foot connecting with his jaw and knocking him out. Rising from the bed, she flipped him over onto his belly, pulling his sweat pants down. Taking the WD-40 infused rubber duckie, she sprayed more of the liquid onto the plastic bath toy, giving it a good coating of lubrication. With just enough force, the inserted the duck up GrEeNmOoGlEgOo's ass, leaving the underbelly showing. Inserting the straw from the WD-40 into the duck, she took out her lighter, flicking it to life and igniting the straw. The flames, carried by the flamable WD-40, burned their way into the rubber duckie, where it exploded, taking out his intestines with it. It was a quick and painless death.

Smiling, Kai left the apartment, pleased with her successful mission.

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated by inserted improvised explosive device into anal cavity. Inceneration of vital organs ensued.**

**Turk Assigned: Kailani "Kai" Simmus**

**Status: Rookie**

**Specialities: Hand to hand combat, computers and poison**

**Target: GrEeNmOoGlEgOo; Flamer on FreakyFanFantasies dot net**

**Death By: WD-40 fill rubbie duckie exploding enema.**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

**_A/N: (evil smile) Let the imaginitive assassinations begin._**


	29. Operation:  FFR Part V

_**A/N: Round Five...DING!!!**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but this bitchin' plot.**_

* * *

High-heeled boots clicked along the titled floor of the newly constructed ShinRa Building. No lights were on, not a sound was to be heard save for the loan footsteps of the rookie Turk. 

No one arrived at work at three in the morning. Unless, of course, they were entirely too dedicated to their job or had no life. Or, in the case of the green-haired woman, they were plotting revenge on a peer.

Twice now, Niki had destroyed her clothes. The first time had been the outfit that would have insured Reno's fidelity to her forever. The second, was her Turk uniform. Of course, Turk's always had at least five uniforms, two of which were kept at headquarters just in case a mission left them covered in blood. It was this knowledge that drove Akalara toward the women's locker room, to locker number 13.

Unlike her counterpart, Akalara could pick a lock in the dark, which was exactly what she was doing, her leather clad hands moving swiftly over the device, opening it without damaging it. Reaching into the inside pocket of her jacket, she retrieved her special mixture. Niki wasn't the only faux-alchemist in the ranks.

Having grown up in the underbelly of Midgar's slums, Akalara had picked up a few 'recipes', which she remembered to this day. This particular concoction was a vile mix of chili powder, jabanero pepper juice, Mideelian red pepper, and a the oil of a wicked Wutain pepper that would have peeled the skin off of Ruby Weapon. Oh yes, this was some wicked shit.

The brew was covertly placed in an empty hairspray bottle, it's pump dispencer quite useful in it's distribution on the uniforms in Niki's locker, as well as her undergarments. Akalara smirked as she placed the cap back on the bottle, closing Niki's locker and replacing the lock. No fingerprints, no evidence. Save for the bottle.

Turning, Akalara spotted the evening custodian's trash bin, the cleaning person having stepped into one of the offices to remove the trash. Silently, she chucked the bottle into the recepticle and left, walking on her toes, so her heels would remain silent. Now that stage one of her plan was complete, it was time to move on to stage two. For that, she needed an accomplice.

And she knew just who she was going to use.

* * *

"Oh shit! Niki, Babe, you okay?" 

Torr dropped his now empty cup of coffee into a nearby trash can, grabbing a handful of tissues off the desk it belonged to. He started wiping at Niki's front, lingering on her breasts. Niki giggled cheerfully at the attention.

"Did it burn you?" Torr asked in concern, still patting her dry.

She shook her head. "No, it just felt like a warm bath," she said, smiling brilliantly at the handsome white-haired Turk. "Not that I mind, but I think my breasts are dry."

Torr returned the grin, reaching up and tweaking her nose. "Just wanted to make sure," he said with a wink.

"Yo, Rookie!" Reno snarled, coming up behind Niki and drapping his arm around her. He glared at Torr. "Back off."

Torr threw the tissues in the trash can. "Just trying to help out, Man," he said. He turned around and grumbled. "Ain't like you don't have back ups, yo."

Reno turned Niki around to look at her. "You're a mess," he said with a grin, kissing her cheek. "Go change your uniform. It's lunch time."

Niki squealed in delight, knowing that lunch time meant 'Reno Fornication Hour'. Running off toward the locker room, she quickly stripped off her soaked clothing and put on her fresh, dry uniform. She had to change her bra and panties as well, the coffee having soaked through her uniform to her undergarments. She debated not wearing panties, given they were going to be off in about 2 minutes anyway, but opted for them, knowing how much Reno loved to peel them off with his teeth.

Squealing again, she ran out of the locker room and into Reno's office, slamming the door and leaping on him. She kissed him fiercely. "I missed you," she said, kissing her way down his neck.

Reno growled and threw off her jacket, letting her do the same to him. She made fast work of the three buttons he had fastened and slipped the white fabric off his lean torso, caressing the muscles under his skin. Reno was skinny, but he was built. Add to the sexy body, sexy hair and just all around sexy bad ass attitude and it was no wonder all the girls wanted him.

Niki sighed happily as Reno eased her bra off her shoulders, pressing her body against his. Then, he stopped. And twitched. "Uh, Niki," he said. Twitch, twitch. Niki crinkled her nose as she felt her skin begin to crawl, then burn, then itch. She shrieked.

"Oh sweet Shiva, what the fuck is going on?" she screamed.

Reno pushed away from her and started clawing at his skin. "It burns!" he yelled. "Damn girl, what kind of funk have you got?"

"I don't have anything!" she yelled back. "You're the whore, not me!"

Niki covered her mouth with her hands after the words left her. Reno glared at her. "Is that what you think?" he asked lowly. "That I'm a whore?"

Niki shook her head. "No, Reno, I didn't mean it," she whispered, scrambling toward him. "I wasn't thinking...it just..."

"Save it!" he yelled, grabbing his clothes and tossing hers at her. "If that's all you think I am, then get lost."

Niki narrowed her eyes as she caught her clothes. Despite the itching, she began putting them back on. "You know, I'm not the only one who thinks that," she hissed. "You sleep with every female Turk in the department, all of the secretaries, any executives that catch your fancy. And then you try to make us all believe you don't. I _know_ I'm just one of your girls, and that's fine with me. Because I still get to be with you. I accept that. But don't confuse insanity with stupidity, Reno. Because I'm not stupid!"

Having regained some decency, Niki stormed out of his office and down the hall. Reno stepped out into the hallway and watched her go, heaving a huge sigh. "This sucks," he grumbled, taking his clothes and walking off toward the men's locker room, scratching at his chest.

"Hey Reno."

He turned, looking into the cranberry red eyes of his evening girl. Hmm, he didn't even think of them by their names; just what time of day he got to fuck them.

"Hey Akalara," he said walking toward her, his head hanging down a bit.

She cocked her head, looking at him in concern. "Are you okay?" she asked, flicking a piece of his hair away from his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm okay," he lied, scratching again. "Just gonna hit the showers before getting back to work."

"Okay," she said. "So, I'll see you tonight then."

He shook his head. "No, not tonight," he said. "Sorry, but I'm cancelling."

"What?" she exclaimed harshly. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Not feeling it," he said, walking away. "See ya, Akalara."

Akalara stared dumbfounded after her retreating boyfriend. Narrowing her eyes, she sprinted toward the ladies locker room, finding Niki and shoving her against the lockers. "What did you do?" she snarled.

Niki's eyes were filled with tears. "What are you talking about?" she whispered. "I didn't do anything."

"Reno cancelled our date tonight," she hissed. "Why? What did you say to him?"

"I didn't say anything about you!" Niki snapped, pushing Akalara away from him. "Maybe he just realized what a stupid bitch you are."

Akalara shoved her against the lockers again. Niki shoved her back. "You must have said something," she said. "He was going to the showers to wash the itching potion off and..."

Niki shoved her harder. "You set this up?" she shrieked. "Gods, I should have KNOWN! What, so you resort to sixth grade tactics now?"

"Me?" Akalara screamed back with righteous indignation. "I'm not the one training a four-armed freak monkey to throw maggots at people!"

"Fuck you, that takes talent!" Niki screamed. "And Kali's a siamang. Repeat it, Spazfuck. SIAMANG!"

"Whatever," Akalara exclaimed, pointing her finger in Niki's face. "Mark my words, when this is over, Reno will be with ME and you will be out of a boyfriend...and a job."

Niki opened her mouth and bit Akalara's finger. The green-haired woman screamed in pain. "Next time," Niki hissed. "I'll bite it off."

"Knock it off, you two," Elena said, pushing the two women away from each other. "Niki, get cleaned up and get back to work. Akalara, leave."

"Is my other uniform contaminated, too?" Niki snarled, throwing her clothes at her nemesis.

Akalara smirked and left. Niki went to go after her. "Niki, here," Feather said, handing her a spare uniform. "You can use one of mine."

"Thanks," Niki said, taking the clothes. This wasn't over. This was far from over.

* * *

Akalara stopped in Torr's office, taking out 100 gil. "Here," she said, laying it on his desk. "Thanks for helping out this morning." 

Torr threw the money back at her. "I don't want it," he snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. "That sucked. Next time you need a bitch to help you out, get someone else. I'm not doing it. I like Niki."

Akalara balked at that. "How could you?" she asked. "She's insane and sadistic. No one likes her."

Torr stood up and glared down at her. "Actually, everyone likes her," he said. "She's funny, cool, has great personalities."

"Personalities?" Akalara scoffed. "As in more than one?"

"Yeah," he snarled. "Maybe you should borrow one."

Akalara grimmaced. That stung. Torr walked around her toward the door.

"I'm going to apologize," he said. "Maybe take her out to dinner. Just remember what I said."

Akalara glared. This...sucked.

* * *

_**A/N: Okay, just so you all know...Torr...is HOT! I found a picture of him; well, one that I'm saying is him. Showed it to Niki-chan...she thought he was hot. Showed it to Magni...SHE thought he was hot. You want to see a pic of him? Review/PM me and I'll email it to you. Also, for all my current Turks, if you have an anime representation of yourself, please let me know and I will PM you my email address. Ram, my Amazon Sista, is working on something for us. My anime Turk is displayed on my profile. Anyway...REVIEW or you've got guard duty at the labs!**_


	30. Applicant Number Fourteen

_**A/N: Our next applicant is Sulcal. Good luck.**_

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot._**

* * *

Tseng gestured for the new recruit to come into his office. "Close the door," he ordered, looking back down at his paperwork. The young man did as he was told and went to stand in front of his superior's desk. "You may sit." 

The man bowed slightly before sitting. "Thank you, Tseng-sama," he said quietly.

Tseng looked up into the face of his newest Turk recruit, a fleeting feeling of homesickness coming over him at the sight of a fellow kinsman. "Welcome to ShinRa, Wei-san," he said, inclining his head slightly. "I have unfortunate news, however."

"That being, Sir?"

"I have no initiation mission for you," he replied. "All of our targets have been dealt with. I have no one left who needs to die."

"If I may, Sir," Wei offered, removing a picture from his inside jacket pocket and handing it to Tseng. "I have a target in mind."

Tseng took the picture. "Who is this?" he inquired.

"Jin-Fa Yao," Wei replied. "My uncle."

Tseng looked up at the young man. "Why would you want to kill your honorable uncle?" he asked.

Wei's face darkened. "He is _not_ my honorable uncle," he seethed. "The bastard killed my mother in cold blood because she married a ShinRa SOLDIER and dared to have a half-breed child."

Tseng glared at the man's picture. "I'm sorry," he offered as a belated condolence. "When did this happen?"

"Seventeen years ago," he answered. "When I was nine. After it happened, my father was afraid that my uncle would try to kill me as well, so he took me and we moved to Midgar."

"You're father is still alive, then?"

"Yes."

"His name?"

"Rodger Willson."

Tseng arched an eyebrow. "I know that name," he said. "He defected from SOLDIER during the Wutai war."

"Because he fell in love with my mother and refused to have a part in the destruction of her homeland by the ShinRa," Wei replied, glaring at the older man.

Tseng did not show his unease. It was a known fact that he worked with ShinRa during the war with Wutai. Because of that fact, he was deemed a traitor in the eyes of his homeland and his kinsmen. "Good man," he said. "Yet now his son works for the same company."

"The family has come full-circle," Wei replied snidely. "My father's affliation with ShinRa is what caused this hatred from Jin-Fa. My affiliation will end it."

Tseng nodded, smirking slightly. "Where is your uncle now?" he asked.

"Wutai."

Tseng picked up the receiver of his phone and dialed a three digit extension. "I need a chopper," he explained into the receiver. "Is Reno available to pilot? Fine. Sage will be fine. I need it in fifteen minutes."

Hanging up he smiled calmly at Wei. "It appears we now have a target for you," he told him. Wei returned the smile with an equally sadistic one. Tseng stood. "I hope you do not object to me acting as your trainer."

Wei stood as well, bowing slightly. "I would count it an honor, Tseng-sama."

* * *

Jin-Fa Yao knelt at his table, his tea sitting before him. Breathing in deeply of the oolong leaves sifting in the boiling water, he began to pour the brew into his cup. A knock sounded sharply at his door, and he cast a disdainful eye at the interuption. Rising from his spot, he went to the door, opening it slightly.

"Uncle."

Jin-Fa stepped back and glared at his nephew. "Wei," he scoffed, opening the door wider and allowing the younger man to enter. "You have interrupted my tea."

Wei stepped aside, allowing Tseng to entire before him. "Uncle," he said. "My employer, Tseng-sama. Sir, my Uncle."

Jin-Fa narrowed his eyes at the Turk leader. "You dare bring this traitor into my home?" he asked folding his hands together. "Though it would figure that a half-breed with no honor would associate with a traitor of Wutai."

"This is not a social call, Uncle," Wei explained, pouring a cup of tea for Tseng and handing it to him with a bow. "I have come to settle matters with you. Regarding the death of my mother."

"Your mother fell from the cliffs of Da Chao, Boy," Jin-Fa told him. "You were naught but a child."

"And now I am a man," Wei told him, standing directly in front of his uncle. "And I have come to deal with the murderer of my mother."

Jin-Fa laughed. "You have come to seek vengeance on Da Chao, Wei-chan?" he mocked. "The mountain is far stronger than you will ever be."

"I have come for you, Uncle," Wei answered dryly. "I saw you, that day. I saw you push her from the cliffs of Da Chao. I saw you smile with anger and bitterness as her body slammed against the rocks on it's downward fall. Nine years old, and I saw you."

Jin-Fa smirked. "Lies," he snarled, though Tseng could see the fear hiding behind his eyes. "You speak of lies, Boy."

"No, Uncle," Wei countered. "It is you who speaks lies."

"Your mother dishonored our family," Jin-Fa snapped. "She married a ShinRa dog, a man who earned his paycheck killing our country. She deserved to die a traitor's death, justice served off the face of Da Chao."

"I will kill you for what you did to my mother, Uncle," Wei told him calmly. "One life for another. Honor will be restored."

"You have no honor, you half-breed mongrel," Jin-Fa exclained, snapping his arms out and lunging for his nephew.

Wei countered the older man's advances, drawing a blade from his jacket as he stepped away from the melee attack. The blade was inserted into his uncle's chest, in between his breast bone. Removing the penetrating end of the blade, Wei spun it in his hand, bringing the smaller side to Jin-Fa's wounded chest, inserting it into the stab wound. Jin-Fa stared at him in horror. Wei smiled sadistically as he let the razor sharp edge of the blade run through the flesh of his uncle's torso, unzipping him and allowing his organs to spill from his chest cavity and stomach.

"My mother is now avenged," Wei whispered into his dying uncle's ear, tossing the now lifeless body to the floor. Returning the blade to his shoulder sheath, Wei turned back to the tea service on the table. Picking up the already prepared cup, he sipped it. "Though, it is a pity that Uncle has returned to the Lifestream."

Tseng sipped his own cup of tea. "Why is that, Wei-san?" he asked.

Wei took another sip. "The bastard made some of the finest oolong tea I've ever had."

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated using special blade designed for game hunting; target was gutted alive.**

**Turk Assigned: Wei Yao**

**Status: Rookie**

**Speciality: Hand to hand martial arts and knives (most kinds)**

**Target: Jin-Fa Yao, Uncle to Wei Yao and Murderer of Wei's Mother**

**Death by: Gutting**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

**_A/N: Bitchin'. My dad has that blade. I think it's called a Kentucky Zipper Knife, or something. Pretty wicked looking. Review and have some tea!_**


	31. Applicant Number Fifteen

**_A/N: Our next applicant is Triss. Good luck._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot._**

* * *

The doors to Roach's office burst opened and his assistant rushed through them, cell phone to her ear. "Right, understood. Thank you," she said, closing the phone and placing it in her pocket. She went to Roach's television set and took the remote control off the top, turning it to the news. 

"What is it, Sil?" Roach asked, standing to his feet and coming around from behind his desk.

"ShinRa, Sir," she explained, crossing her arms. "They've begun a slander campaign against politicians that are standing against them."

"What?" Roach asked standing beside her as they viewed the television.

"The ShinRa Corporation has released footage they claim was taken by an off-duty camera man following a press conference, showing Gemini Roach in a rather compromising position with a member of his staff."

The footage was broadcast, showing Roach in a prep room, a young man knealing before him performing oral sex. Roach paled. "Oh my gods," he whispered, stepping closer to the television. "How did they get that?"

"I don't know, Sir," Silhouette answered, tucking a piece of her short feathered black hair behind her ear. She stared at the television. "Is this why Kios was fired, Sir?"

"He resigned," Roach said, still staring in shock at the image.

Rufus ShinRa came on the screen, pretaped footage of the president after the release of the damning footage. "I find it highly hypocritical that a man who has accused my company of immoral practices can't even abide by his own code of ethics. I wonder how Mrs. Roach will feel once her husband's infidelity with another man is made public?"

"President ShinRa stands by his claim that the ShinRa Corporation is doing everything in it's power to reverse the negative impact it's Mako Reactors had on the Planet. W.R.O. Commissioner Reeve Tuesti had this to say."

A shot of Reeve came on the screen. "President ShinRa has been in complete compliance with the sanctions set out by the W.R.O. in regards to Mako use as an energy source. All Mako reactors have been shut down and alternate sources of energy have been placed in effect. President ShinRa has been instrumental in the development of alternate energy sources and has graciously financed all research efforts."

"He's bought them," Roach said shaking his head. "ShinRa has bought the W.R.O."

"But Sir," Sihouette said. "ShinRa really has done a lot in the after effects of Meteor to rectify the damange caused by their reactors."

"Once a ShinRa, always a ShinRa," Roach said, waving his hand. "Sil, please have something delivered for lunch. This is going to be a long day."

"You better call your wife."

Roach cringed. "Not now," he said. "There's no way she'll forgive me this time."

"This time, Sir?" she asked, with an arched eyebrow. "I thought she didn't know about your first affair."

"She does."

Silhouette smirked. "Once a cheat, always a cheat," she said. Roach glared at her and she smiled, inclining her head slightly. "Sir."

_Thirty Minutes Later..._

There was a knock at the door of his office door and Roach gestured for Silhouette to answer it. The delivery guy from the sushi bar down the street winked at the young assistant, his blue-green eyes twinkling merrily as he handed her the food.

"Thank you," Silhouette said with a smile.

The guy winked again and took off, running his fingers through his shoulder length blond hair. Turning back into the office, the assistant took the sushi to her boss. "New place," she explained. "They were having a promotional special. Thought it would be good to try."

Roach dug into the take out boxes, devouring the sushi. "Hmm," he said, chewing thoughtfully. "Not bad. It's a little...chewy."

"They'll get better over time," she said, sitting down and opening a magazine and leafing through the fashion articles.

"You not eating?" he asked, stuffing the last bite of his first carton into his mouth and reaching for the second.

Her reddish-brown eyes flicked over to him and she shook her head. "Nope," she answered, turning a page. "Shit's poisoned."

Roach choked on a bite and laughed, taking a gulp of his water. "Sil, you are such a joker," he said, taking another bite.

"Not joking...Sir," she said, tossing the magazine aside and going to him. Stubborn bastard continued eating the poisoned food. "Its poisoned."

"Really?" he asked, mockingly taking another bite. "And how would you know?"

"Because I poisoned it myself," she answered. "Before Sushi Boy knocked on the door, I met him and poured the cyanide and ricin into the sushi. Which, knowing Sushi Boy, is probably his last target."

Roach began to sweat. "How much did you put in it?" he chocked out.

Silhouette checked her watch. "Enough to kill you in exactly one more minute," she answered.

"Why, Sil?" he asked.

"Because you are trying to bring down my employer," she answered, sitting on his desk and examining her nails. "That's really not a wise decision."

"But...you've worked for me for a year," he gasped. "You've been my right hand woman for a long time."

Silhouette smirked. "I'm tired of working on your staff," she hissed. "I got a better offer. And the first assignment was to eliminate you."

"Oh Ifrit," he panted. "You're a Turk?"

Silhouette looked at her watch again. "Yes, in exactly 5...4...3...2...1," she said. Roach's eyes rolled back into his head as he slammed forward in his chair, dead. She pulled out her cell phone. "Tseng? Mission accomplished."

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated by ingesting lethal doses of cyanide and ricin in contaminated sushi.**

**Turk Assigned: Sihouette Envrix**

**Status: Rookie**

**Speciality: Toxins, healing, Mhuy Thai**

**Target: Gemini Roach, Anti-ShinRa Political Official**

**Death by: Poisoning**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

**_A/N: Oh, she's a sly little bitch. Working with a dude for a year and then offing him for a job with more money. But, honestly, how many of us would actually do that if we hated our bosses? Honesly! Show of hands? (all Turk hands raise) Yeah, that's what I thought. One thing about it, we're dead on accurate. Silhouette knew exactly how much poison it took and how long. Good job, Girl! Review and stay away from the sushi._**

**_Revan: Hey! I made that!_**

**_Me: Which is why we should stay away from the sushi. Who is it?_**

**_Reven (shrugs): No clue. Rude wanted him whacked. Said he was causing some trouble the other night at The Mage._**

**_Me: The Mage? Oh shit! I bet that was the guy hitting on me the other night at the bar! Heh heh...Rude's a little...jealous._**

**_Rude (cracking knuckles): Yep._**

**_Me: SQUEE!!_**


	32. Applicant Number Sixteen

**_A/N: Our next applicant is WindingDesire. Good luck._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot._**

* * *

Hydiff studied the woman carefully. She studied him back, her dark green eyes peering out behind her jet black hair. 

"Look, I'm the one you're stuck with, all right?" she said, flicking a strand of hair behind her ear. "The company called me and said I had an assignment today. If you're disappointed, call the staffing firm and complain. They assign us based on experience."

"You have experience dealing jewelry?" he asked skeptically. She nodded. He reached under the counter and produced a black velvet box. He revealed its contents, four diamond like stones, each identical in cut, but substantially different. "Prove it."

The woman stared at the clear jewels. She pointed to the first one. "That's a cubic zirconia," she huffed. "It's one of the nicer ones, but still, CZ."

"Go on."

She pointed to the second one. "This is a low quality diamond, harvested somewhere in the Mythril Mines, I'd guess," she said, leaning over and peering at it more closely. "I can count at least 17 defects in that one and that's without an monocule."

"Continue."

Pointing to the third, she grinned. "There's the real diamond," she said. "Perfect clarity. That one has to be from the Forgotten City. Even though it's slightly dirty and has a fingerprint on it, you can tell that's one the highest quality diamonds out there."

"And the last one?"

"White sapphire," she answered instantly. "Very rare, very unique. Beautiful in it's own right, but still, not a diamond."

Hydiff nodded his head. "You can stay," he said, closing the black velvet box and putting it away. "I need you to mind the store. I have some business to attend to with some clients in my office."

"Sure thing, Boss."

* * *

The thriteen year olds sold the shit. They could get the younger kids hooked faster than anyone else since younger kids always looked up to the older ones. They would steal from their parents or grandparents, aunts or uncles, or just strangers in the street. Anything to get the gil to get the 'Diamond Dust'. The name had been given to the cocaine by the older kids; something about being named after a goddess' attack making it seem that much cooler. 

Hydiff didn't care what they called the shit, so long as it got sold. That, and the hard liquor he provided them. The dealers couldn't get it anywhere besides him, so he had a good mark up on the merchandise. He bought it wholesale and jacked the price up 75 percent. He didn't know how the kids kept getting the money to pay him, but they did. And that was fine with him.

The dealers sold the stuff to the kids still living in Old Midgar. The ones who were the slum rats of the slum rats. Hydiff was ensuring that the next generation of druggies, whores and criminals were properly drunk and doped up.

"All right," he said, counting out his gil. "I'll have another delivery for you in three days. It'll be twice this much."

"How do you expect us to keep selling this shit if you keep jacking the price?" one of the kids asked.

"Because the more hooked those little slum bastards get, the more they're willing to pay!" Hydiff snarled. "Ifrit, how do you kids expect to get anywhere if you don't think smart?"

"Whatever," she said, rolling her eyes. "C'mon, Nate. Let's go."

"Be back in three days!" Hydiff called after them.

The kids snuck out the window into the alley beside the jewelry store, heading back toward the slums. Eyes watched them as they left.

Hydiff jumped when a knock sounded at his office door. "What?" he snapped.

"Hey Boss, I got a customer who's got a question about the steel of one of your decorative Wutain throwing knives," his new employee called. "I don't field steel questions, you know?"

"Fine," Hydiff said, pushing away from his desk and rising to his feet. He opened the door and screamed in pain as the throwing knife in question hit him in the crotch. Before he even realized what was happening, his employee rushed forward and removed the knife, shredding the fabric of his pants and fulling removing his manhood, tossing it over her shoulder with a sadistic grin.

"I never did care for dick," she whispered into his breath. "Nor do I care for people who try to poison kids with drugs and alcohol."

Hydiff's voice was lost as the throwing knife was plunged into his throat, severing his vocal cords. His attacker produced another weapon, this one a boxopener. "Now, let's get rid of your other head."

Hydiff's world when black.

* * *

"Whoa, Kiddies," a suave voice said, halting the young dealers. "Whatcha got in the bags, hmm?" 

Rude stepped out next to Reno as they took the kids into custody. "Looks like we found 'em, Reno," he said.

"Yep," Reno said, looking from the boy to the girl. "How old are you kids?"

The girl stepped forward. "He's thirteen, but I'm eighteen," she said. "Let him go. He's just a kid. I'll take the heat for this."

Rude arched an eyebrow. "Loyalty," he said.

Reno nodded. "You got a name, Kid?" he asked.

"Name's N.C.," she said, moving to stand between the Turks and her little brother. "Let him go."

"No can do," Reno said, shaking his head. "We gotta get you and this shit off the street. Sorry, Babe. But you both are coming with us."

* * *

"Damn!" Elena said, stepping into the office. "Nina, you fuckin'...holy shit is that his dick?!" 

Nina grinned. "Yep," she said, cleaning off the throwing knife and sticking it back into her boot. "Never did understand what the big deal about them was."

"Gotta get the ones that know how to use them, is all," the once again blond said, kicking the decapitated head with the toe of her boot. "Otherwise, it just sucks."

"Been there, tried that," Nina said. "Didn't work for me. So, instead of dating guys, I go and try to score chicks with them."

Elena giggled. "I'll bet you get all the hot ones," she said.

"Oh hell yeah."

"Oh, fuck...Reno's gonna love you!"

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated by first castration and then decapitation; first head removed with throwing knife; second, with boxopener**

**Turk Assigned: Ninaula "Nina" Opcato**

**Status: Rookie**

**Speciality: Throwing knives, whips, toxic plants, jewels**

**Target: Jiluno Hydiff; Drug and Alcohol Dealer Targeting Minors**

**Death by: Decapitation**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

**_A/N: Sorry I haven't updated. I've had a sick baby. She's better now though. (Turks collectively: HOORAY!!) So, welcome to Nina!_**

**_Reno: Whoa! Wait a second!_**

**_Me: Yes, ReRe-chan?_**

**_Reno: Don't call me that...first you hire a married chick..._**

**_Me: Yep._**

**_Reno: Then a lesbian chick? What the fuck? Are you just not WANTING me to get laid ever again?_**

**_Akalara: HEY!_**

**_Niki-chan: RENO!!!_**

**_Brit (making out with Torr): mmmpffh mpppfhhf_**

**_Me: Translation...Go fuck yourself, Reno._**

**_Niki-chan: Why does Brit get to make out with Torr?_**

**_Akalara: Yeah...where's Sushi Boy?_**

**_Niki-chan: (pouting) Torr, out; Revan, out; Randak, married; Joel, into Kandi; Rude, inside Kandi; Sage, with Ram; Vincent, with Katrina; Wei, too honorable...I'm running out of guys to fuck._**

**_Reno: You still got me._**

**_Niki-chan: Really?_**

**_Reno: Come, Niki-chan...let's go fuck._**

**_Niki-chan: SQUEE!_**

**_Me: Oy...REVIEW!_**


	33. Operation: FFR Part VI

_**A/N: Round Six (sorta)...DING!!!**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but this bitchin' plot.**_

* * *

Reno grinned as he propped his feet up on the conference table. His meeting was set to start in five minutes. As second-in-command of the Turks, he had the power to call meetings and pretty much order the rookies around. Power was fun. And he was going to utilize it. 

The door to the conference room opened and the first participant in his meeting entered. "Reno," Brit said, sitting across from him and propping a leg up on the table. "Sup?"

"Feet off," he ordered. "That's unprofessional."

"Fuck you," she replied. "You start acting professional and I may be inclined to follow suit. Don't hold your breath, though."

"Bitch."

"Spazfuck."

The doors opened again and Akalara walked in. Her cranberry-red eyes assessed the situation, looking from Reno to Brit and back again. She turned around to leave but ran smack into Niki.

"Hey, watch it!" the clinically insane Turk exclaimed. She shoved her way in, moving Akalara in the process.

"Quit shoving, you skank!" Akalara snapped back. Resigning herself, she sat at the conference table, smoothing out her long green hair. "Where's everyone else?"

Reno spread his arms. "This is it," he said with a grin. "Just Reno and his three favorite girls."

Niki pouted and crossed her arms. "I wanted to be your only favorite," she said, putting on her cutest face.

Reno grinned and placed his feet back on the floor, leaning over and taking her hand. "You're top three," he said suavely. "Can't that be good enough?"

Niki continued to pout but smiled anyway. "Maybe," she answered.

"Good girl," he said. He leaned back in his seat again, folding his hands over his stomach. "All right, so it has come to my attention that there is a huge competition for my affections between two of you. Something about arsen in the building and maggot throwing genetic freak monkeys?"

"Kali's not a freak!" Niki exclaimed. "She can't help that the labs fucked with her genetics! And she's a siamang...SIAMANG."

Reno grinned and laughed slightly. "Okay, okay, siamang," he said, shaking his head. "Got it. So, I take it this shit is going down. Of course, I've been victim to it as well. The fire in Niki's office, for example. Akalara, you like things that go 'boom', don't ya, Babe?"

Akalara tossed her hair and arched an eyebrow. "You know I do," she answered smugly.

Reno placed his hand over his heart. "I'm touched," he said, batting his eye lashes. "Really, I am. That two such hot babes would go to such lengths to have me to themselves. Total turn on, let me tell you."

Akalara smirked, Niki beamed and Brit just rolled her eyes. "You are such a whore, Reno," Brit told him with a grin. Niki cringed at the use of the word.

"I have come to the realization that, yes, I am a whore," Reno said, winking at Niki. "But you know what? That's cool with me. Because since I am a whore, I get to be with three totally hot babes with no feelings of guilt or remorse. It's a win-win situation."

"But who will you chose in the end?" Akalara asked. "I mean, you can't expect this to keep on forever."

"Why not?" he asked with a smirk. Brit copied the smirk while the other two stared open mouthed at him. "We're Turks. Turks don't have normal lives, let alone normal relationships. You do something like that, you're just gonna get your heart broken. Do you know what the average retirement age for a Turk is?"

Three heads indicated a negative answer. "That's because there isn't one," Reno told them gravely. "Turks normally die before retirement. Sad fact, but true nonetheless. We're in a bad business, Ladies. You get in a committed relationship, you're just gonna end up hurt."

Brit studied her nails as the other two thought about that for a moment. "But," Reno said, leaning forward and grinning. "I do like this little competition y'all are having for me. Boosts my ego."

"Like it could get any bigger," Brit snorted. Reno glared at her and she simply smiled back.

"Anyway," Reno continued, sticking his tongue out at Brit. "All three of you are special to me. This is as committed as it gets in the Turks. Well, besides Nilto and Randak, but the fuckers were already married before getting into this shit. Ya get what I'm saying? This little arrangement we have is about all we can get. It's the life we've chosen. It's a good life, but it's a fucked up one."

"So," Niki said, fidgeting in her chair a bit. "Do you, you know, love...us?"

Reno grinned. "Y'all have a special place in my heart," he answered. "Each one of you. I can't imagine what my life would be like without any of you. All right?"

"Good enough," Brit said, standing. "But why was I here, Re? I'm not dillusional like these bitches."

"Hey!"

"Fuck you, Brit."

Reno looked hurt. "You aren't competing for my affections, Brit," he said, pouting adorably. Niki squealed and lunged for him, hugging him across the table. He smiled and kissed her forehead. He turned back to Brit, his aquamarine eyes large and pleading. "Don't you want me?"

Brit flipped him off. "Reno, if I didn't want you, you wouldn't see me every morning," she said with a grin. She mock saluted him. "I'm outta here. Got a lunch date. Later.

Reno looked between Niki and Akalara as Brit left. "So, what's next in your little fight?" he asked. "Bikini's and a mud pit?"

Niki giggled and smack his arm while Akalara continued smirking. "You'll just have to wait and see," the green haired woman said, rising to her feet. She inclined her head to her rival. "But I believe it's Niki's turn."

Niki nodded and grinned. "Watch your back, Green Bitch," she snarled. "You won't know when or where, but I'll get you."

"Looking forward to it," Akalara said as she exited.

Reno kissed Niki again. "Me too."

* * *

_**A/N: Meh...I figured Reno's a sadistic little pervert who gets off on chicks fighting for him. Besides, this lets everyone know that regardless of their differences and disagreements, that Niki and Akalara are still co-workers and do get along...sometimes. Just not when it comes to Reno. Aight? Aight.**_

**_Reno: I want the bikini's and mud pit thing._**

**_Niki-chan (comes out in purple bikini): READY!!!_**

**_Akalara: That's degrading._**

**_Reno: But hot!_**

**_Akalara: If I ever get in a pit of mud to fight Niki, I will be completely naked._**

**_Reno (eyes wide and grabbing Akalara's hand): C'mon! Me, you, office, now!_**

**_Niki-chan (pouting): Cheating bitch!_**

**_Me (pets Niki): He'll be back...don't worry._**

**_Review!_**


	34. 24: Turks Style

_**A/N: Okay. Here's something just for sake of "Hey, Dammit! It's MY fic and I'll do what I want!" But it's entertaining...at least to me. ;)**_

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot and the super hot stilettos that rock my ass. The television show '24' owns the digital clock readouts. I do, however, own Kiefer Sutherland's soul. He sold it to me for an Almond Joy. I can't back that up in court, though. Sorry._**

**_Note To Recruits from The Bosslady: As you can see, we have sixteen new Turks. This is a good turnout. I also have one more applicant that has yet to be sent on mission; so that will make seventeen and yet another that still needs to get back with me as far as the gender of their twin applicants (which I will still count as just one); so basically, we have eighteen recruits. I am putting a temporary cap on new recruits at 20, so that means that there are only two slots left in the elite force of bad assery. The next two applicants will be IT, got it? First come, first serve. That is all._**

**_The Bosslady_**

* * *

_13:00:00...01...02...03_

Kandi finished placing her equipment in her black leather messenger bag, closing the flap and shouldering it. Looking around the computer room, she grinned, sneaking out into the hallway and looking both ways before heading down the hall to the locker room. She had a mission to complete, and less than one hour to do it in.

Ram was fixing a gliche in Rufus ShinRa's computer and Katrina was sleeping off a hangover in their office. Kandi was alone in this endeavor, unless she could...commandierre some assistance from someone.

The ladies locker room was empty for once. Cursing to herself, Kandi whipped out her handheld, pulling up the AutoCAD data of the blueprints of the ShinRa Building. She walked until she stood below the fifth crossbeam and stared at the wall. If her calculations were correct, the objective of her mission would be lay on the other side of the obstruction. However, since the wall was rather essential to the building standing and not collapsing upon itself, the obstruction could not meet any destruction. Therefore, an alternative had to be used. Being the self-proclaimed genius that she was, Kandi had that alternative.

The doors to the locker room swung opened and Kandi's head snapped around to see the intruder. Magni walked in, dressed in her workout clothes and listening to her iPod. She nodded to Kandi and took the earbuds out. "Hey, Vending Machine!" she called. "What's up?"

Kandi grinned. Magni...was about to be commandierred...

_13:05:19...20...21...22_

"Lock the door and come here," Kandi said, urgency filling her voice.

"What?" Magni said, cocking her head in confusion.

"We don't have much time!" Kandi said, frantically. "Lock the door and come here!"

Magni did as she was told. Though Kandi was still a rookie with the Turks, she seemed to have an 'in' with the senior Turks, having been with ShinRa for nearly a decade. Word was that she had been a former HoneyBee Girl and that one of the SOLDIERS had hired her as his secretary. Still, Kandi had a sort of air about her. People listened to her, and she was usually right.

"What is it?" Magni asked, watching as Kandi removed her messenger bag and knelt on the floor. She opened the leather case and removed a drill with a 1/8" bit and a stud finder.

Kandi handed Magni the drill and took the stud finder and a measuring tape. She found the first stud and measured one-foot over, confirming the location of a second. Using the measuring tape, she found the exact center between the two and made a small mark with a pencil. She pointed to it. "There," she said. "Drill the hole there while I set up the survellience equipment."

Magni arched an eyebrow but did as Kandi asked. The other Turk worked quickly, twisting the audio and video wires together tightly, connecting them to a small camera lense. The entire device would be fed into the 1/8" hole that Magni was drilling. It was a remote device that would be controlled by Kandi's laptop, so once set up, it would never have to be switched on or off.

"Okay," Magni said, removing the drill and brushing off the excess dust. "Done. Now what?"

Kandi slipped the camera lense into the hole, the wiring still hanging out. She rose to her feet and held her hand out. "Give me the drill."

_13:17:39...40...41...42..._

Magni watched as her cohort took the drill and slipped it, the measuring tape and stud finder into her pocket, the tools not even making a bulge in her slim fitting jacket. "How do you do that?" Magni asked in amazement. Kandi merely smirked as she climbed the bench and hopped onto the lockers, removing the air vent and climbing in. She moved until she was on the other side of the wall and peered into the adjacent room...the men's locker room.

Currently, it was unoccupied, but if her calculations were correct, in approximately nineteen minutes and seventeen seconds, it would hold at least one, if not two, very interesting occupants. Leaping to the ground she pulled out her handheld again, double checking the blue prints. The hole on this side had to be in the same location as the opposite side, otherwise, the mission would fail.

And failure...was not something Kandi dealt with.

Once she was certain the measurements were perfect, she began drilling. "Magni," she said softly when she was done. "Can you hear me?"

"Yeah."

"Good," she said. "Feed me the wire."

Kandi watched as the lense slipped through the hole. "Good, good. That's enough," she said. "Give me a minute. I've almost got it."

Attaching a molly to the wires, Kandi fitted the lense to fit flush against the visable side. The molly and lense had been specially designed (spraypainted) to match the interior of this particular section of the men's locker room. There would be no detection of the device at all. And if there was...well, they deserved to find it. Fitting the molly back into the hole in the wall, she smirked, having accurately calculated the precise measurements. Damn...she _was_ good.

Hopping back up into the vents, she returned to the ladies locker room, landing with a click of her stiletto boots.

"Okay," Magni said, hands on hips. "What are we doing?"

Kandi proceed to attach the end wires to a plug the exact color of the ladies locker room walls. "We are setting up a survellience system so that we can gain visual data on the persons who occupy the next room, one in particular," Kandi explained, removing her laptop from her messenger bag. She input a few key sequences and pulled up the visual on her screen with a smirk. Pivoting the computer, she gave Magni a look.

"But," Magni said, staring at the screen. "That's the guys' shower."

Kandi grinned evilly, rotating the camera lense to test the angles. "Exactly."

_13:43:16...17...18...19_

Magni returned the grin. "Which guy are we spying on?" she asked.

"Obtaining visual data," Kandi corrected. "Shiva, Magni, you gotta make it sound professional otherwise it's just voyeurism."

"Right, right," Magni said with a nod. "So who are we obtaining data on?"

"Vincent."

Magni smiled with malice. "Oh fuck yeah," she said.

Kandi finished inserting the wire into the plug and placed it into the wall. One couldn't even tell there was a hole in the wall. Cleaning up their mess, Kandi replaced all of her tools in her messenger bag. "Where's Elena?" she inquired of Magni's partner.

"Day off," Magni replied.

Kandi nodded. "Good, we can use your office then," she said. "Mine is currently occupied by one of my drunken partners. Get changed and let's go. Tseng and Vincent should be finishing their sparing match in less than twenty minutes."

Magni nodded, rushing over to her locker and removing her uniform. "Wait," she said, turning to the woman. "Tseng too?"

Kandi smirked again. "It's a possibility," she said. "Unlikely, though. Tseng has a private shower in his office."

"And you know this how?" Magni asked as she pulled her shirt on.

Kandi gave her a sly grin, shouldering her bag. "I'll meet you in your office. We have to set up the recording device. Meet you in five."

Got it."

_13:50:06...07...08...09_

Magni looked up from her desk as Kandi entered her office and closed the door, locking it. She reached into her inside jacket pocket and pulled out her laptop and a DVD in a case.

"Seriously, how the fuck do you do that shit?" Magni asked as Kandi also produced a bottle of soda.

Kandi snickered. "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you," she answered.

"I have an AutoPhoenix equiped," Magni smirked.

Kandi grinned as she set the laptop up and inserted the DVD into the proper drive. "Okay, visual is up," she said, leaning back in Elena's pilfered chair. "As soon as Vincent walks in buck assed naked, we'll begin the recording."

"Wait, what about steam from the shower?" Magni asked. "Won't that interfere with the visual?"

"Taken care of," Kandi replied. "The lense is state of the art, able to produce a clear visual in all types of environments. He could take a scalding hot shower in the dark and we'd still have a crystal clear shot."

"Shiva, I love ShinRa technology," Magni said. "Got any munchies?"

"Fuck yeah," Kandi said, reaching in and grabbing what she knew to be Magni's favorite chips.

"Seriously got to tell me how you do that one day."

Kandi leaned forward as Vincent walked in wearing a towel. "Oh, shit, here we go," she said, clicking the record button.

_13:56:22...21...23...24_

Vincent was turned with his back facing the camera. The towel was removed and hung on a hook on the wall, the muscles of his buttocks flexing as he moved.

"Oh fuck," Magni whispered, wiping the drool from her mouth.

Vincent turned.

"OH FUCK!" they both shrieked.

"Damn!" Kandi gasped. "No wonder Katrina walks funny!"

"Whoa, what?" Magni asked incredulously. "They're already fucking?! No fair!"

"Bah, Turks change sex partners like Rufus ShinRa changes vehicles," she said. "You'll get a shot with him at some point."

"Damn, I better," she said, watching as the hot water streamed down Vincent's body. Her mouth dropped, watching, mesmerized. "Is he...doing...what...I...think..."

"Yeah," Kandi said swallowing hard as Vincent's human hand continued to pump his member. "Time to test this baby out for real."

Magni watched the computer screen as Kandi typed in a few commands. The screen split into four sections; the top left with a full shot of Vincent's face; the top right a shot of his upper torso; the bottom right a shot of his thighs down; and the bottom left a shot of his hand jerking himself off.

"Oh, that fucking rocks!" Magni shrieked. "We can watch his face when he comes and then rewind it and watch him come and come and come."

Vincent moaned, placing his clawed hand on the tile of the shower wall as he continued pleasuring himself. "Oh, gods," he said, his deep raspy voice sending chills down the women's backs. His head fell back, his long black tresses plastering themselves against his back as his hand increased in speed. "Nnh...yes...just...a...little...nynnh..."

_13:59:57...58...59_

_14:00:00...01...02...03_

* * *

_**A/N: Go ahead...you can say it...I'm a bitch. (evil grin) REVIEW!**_


	35. Turk Day Off:  Part I

_**A/N: I'm feeling devinely inspired. Shiva be praised.**_

**_Disclaimer: SquareEnix owns everything. I own nothing put the plot._**

**_Warning: I was flamed in another fic, so in good conscience, I must put this in. Any and all flamers will become targets. Niki-chan has offered to eliminate my first one EVER. But that's a different chapter. Don't mess with The Bosslady. I have a loyal set of Turks behind me, Bitches. Being evil has it's advantages._**

* * *

The weather was perfect. The sun was shining brilliantly in the early autumn sky. A soft breeze caressed the changing leaves of the trees, kissing them and sending some gently to the ground, landing safely on their fallen brethren. 

And Nilto was carefully planning the death of her uncle-in-law's wife.

They were in the Old Midgar City Park for a small family reunion with Randak's family. Randak's uncle and his wife were planning on taking the kids to the playground. Being the considerate wife that she was, Nilto had asked Randak if he would care if she and their two young children tagged along. Before anything could come out of her devoted husband's mouth, the Bitch had piped up.

"You don't _need_ to ask permission. Just come along!"

Smiling in a gentiel manner, Nilto turned to her husband, receiving an affirmative response from him.

"Do you care if we take the truck down so the kids don't have to walk so far?" she asked him sweetly.

The Bitch rolled her eyes. "You don't need to ask him if it's okay!" she yelled. "Stop being a doormat!"

Randak and his father glared at the Bitch. Nilto laid a gentle hand on her husband's arm. "I'm not being a doormat, Aunt," she said sweetly. "I'm being a humble, Shiva-loving wife."

"You're being psychotic," she huffed walking over to her, hands on hips. "If you need to ask your husband for permission for everything you do, you might as well have him latch a leash and collar to you."

Nilto felt her blood pressure rising and her fingers itched for the gun hidden under her jacket. True, she and Randak were off duty, but Turks still needed to be prepared. _Shiva, help me_, she prayed mentally, seeking strength from the divine goddess.

"Come on, Kids," she said cheerfully instead, ushering her offspring into the vehicle. "Let's go to the playground."

That was a half-hour ago. Presently, they were getting plates from the food that each individual family had brought. The Bitch sidled over to her and smirked. "Aren't you going to be a humble wife and serve your husband first?" she mocked. "Perhaps crawl on all fours and have him use your back as a table or foot rest. And then happily eat the scraps he tosses to you?"

Nilto sat her plate down on the table and turned to the Bitch. Reaching into her jacket, she felt the gun and moved futher, removing a vile of Holy Water, melted from the ice of the great goddess herself. Uncapping the vile, she tossed the still freezing water into the face of the Bitch, screaming, "The power of Shiva compels you! Flee from this body, Demon!"

The Bitch hissed, her skin melting off her bones and oozing into the ground. Nilto stared in shock at the mess before her, turning to face her stunned family. "I'm sorry!" she said, looking straight at Randak's uncle. "I didn't know she was all Demon!"

Nilto and Randak's daughter giggled. "Yay! Mommy killed another Demon!"

The uncle shrugged, helping himself to more potato salad. "You just saved me a huge lawyer bill, Nilto," he said with a smile. "The Bitch filed for divorce last week."

"Oh," Nilto said as her puppy, Shadow, came over and sniffed the smoking goo. "Okay then. I guess everything's all right."

Randak handed her a soda and kissed her cheek. "Come on, my Demon Slayer," he said with a grin. "Let's enjoy the rest of the day with the family we like."

Nilto grinned and looked down again, gasping in shock. "Shadow, no!" she scolded the puppy. "No! Demon sludge is bad for you! Don't eat it! Bad puppy!"

* * *

_**A/N: For you mysticjc1! Hope you enjoyed. BWAH HA HA HA!! I'll get back on track with the next one...I promise!**_


	36. Applicant Number Seventeen

_**A/N: Out next applicant is Freedom Rionach. Good luck.**_

**_Disclaimer: Reno: I'LL READ IT!!!_**

**_Me (rolling eyes): Oy...proceed._**

**_Reno (channeling Cap'n Jack Sparrow): To sue AmazonTurk due to the content of her fanfictions would be completely idiotic and uncalled for considering that she is not a part to the party what owns the world of Final Fantasy VII. However, the plot, which is so intricately wooven together with that of her other fics, is fortuitous enough to belong to said strumpet...saavy?_**

**_Me (drooling): That...was HOT!!!_**

**_Reno (grinning): I aim to please, Love._**

**_Me: I know who you're going to be for Halloween, Reno!_**

**_Reno: Only if you go as Elizabeth and permit me to pillage and plunder your bounty and your booty. Do we have an accord?_**

**_Me: I'd rather be Tia Dalma._**

**_Reno: Oh yes...she is hotter._**

**_Me: Then it's agreed! Let us drink rum and sing the Pirate Song!_**

**_Reno: Actually, let's get to the assassination before you become a victim yourself, saavy?_**

**_Me: Saavy._**

* * *

"Where's Nate?" N.C. asked, struggling against Joel's grasp as he lead her down the hall. "I need to make sure he's all right." 

"He's fine," Joel told her gruffly. "We questioned him and now he's in a safe place."

N.C. yanked her arms out of the large Turk's grasp. "Questioned him?" she shrieked. "I _know_ how you Turks question people! Is he still alive?!"

Joel narrowed his smoky blue eyes at her. "Hey, we don't kill kids," he snarled, grabbing her arm again and pushing her into Tseng's office. "We used to, but..."

"Policies have changed," Tseng finished for him, staring over his steepled fingers at the girl before him. "Thank you, Joel."

Joel nodded and walked out the door, closing it behind him. N.C. turned to the Wutain behind the desk, eyeing her fellow kinsman. "You're brother is safe," he told her.

N.C.'s eyes snapped to his. "How did you know he's my brother?" she asked frantically.

"I'm not a stupid man, Nicole," he explained. "You two have a rap sheet a mile long. And you lied about your age. You're not eighteen."

"No," she said, hiding her almond shaped eyes behind her silver-streaked, black hair. "I'm seventeen."

"You've been on the streets selling drugs a long time," he said. "Though you are still a minor, with the offenses you have under your belt, you could be tried as an adult and put in prison for a very long time."

She stared at him in horror. "I can't go to jail!" she yelled. "Nate has no one but me! I have to take care of him!"

Tseng leaned forward and stared at her hard. "Perhaps you should have thought about that before selling illegal drugs and alcohol to children!" he snarled. Calming himself, he relaxed in his chair again. "Tell me, are you and Nate users as well as dealers?"

N.C. shook her head. "No, we just sold it so we could live," she said, holding her tears in check, worry for her little brother consuming her. She looked up at him. "Please, let me see Nate."

"He's fine, I promise you that," Tseng told her soothingly. He gestured to what appeared to be her juevenile rap sheet. "However, we still have this to deal with."

N.C. nodded. "I can't go to jail," she reiterated.

Tseng smirked. "If that is that case, I _can_ make all of this go away," he said waving his hand over the file. N.C. looked at him in question. "You can either be incarcerated for the crimes you have been found guilty of...or you can become a member of the Turks."

"Excuse me?" N.C. asked, blinking.

"I've read through your information, N.C.," Tseng told her. "You would be a good applicant for the Turks. But it's your choice. You either do the jail time, away from Nate...or you accept a paying job, with insurance and housing provided for you and your brother, with the Turks."

N.C. stared at him in disbelief. "I'll take the job," she answered, as if this wasn't really a choice at all.

Tseng smirked. "Excellent."

* * *

N.C. stared at the door of the location Tseng had indicated to her. Her first target, her first assignment in the Turks, lay behind that door. Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, the teenager kicked the door in with one of her long legs, sword drawn. A man walked in to see what the commotion was about and she recognized him from the picture Tseng had shown her. Without another thought, she slit his throat, leaving the body on the floor of the small apartment, his blood seeping into the green shag. 

She left and closed the door, sheathing her blood soaked sword as a sleek, black car, the same one that had dropped her off a few blocks down, pulled up beside her. The window lowered and Tseng's face smirked at her. N.C. nodded, pushing her long silver-streaked black hair out of her eyes.

"Done...Sir," she said with a shaky smile, pleased with her work. Tseng nodded and gestured for her to get in. After strapping on her seat belt, she posed a question. "Why was he a target?"

Tseng simply put the car in gear and drove away. "Your new apartment has been set up and your brother is already there," he said, handing her a credit card. "Take this and buy whatever you need or want. Furniture, pictures, television, gaming consoles, whatever. Groceries have already been purchased and the pantry stocked."

N.C. took the card and stared at him in disbelief. "Thank you," she said. "Why are you being so nice?"

"Turks always take care of their own," he answered with a smile.

She smiled back. "You still haven't answered my question," she told him. "Why was he a target?"

Tseng's features darkened. "Because he fucked with one of mine," he answered lowly as the car continued on it's path.

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated by slitting the throat**

**Turk Assigned: Nicole "N.C." Solendir**

**Status: Rookie**

**Speciality: Sword fighting, martial arts, hacking, explosions, some firearms**

**Target: Art Koal, Threatened Senior Turk, Elena**

**Death by: Slit throat**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

**_A/N: The moral of this story...don't fuck with Tseng's people._**


	37. Operation: FFR Part VII

_**A/N: Round Seven...DING!!! Double update today since I was so slow getting the other one up and I'm super bored at work.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot.**_

* * *

Niki giggled to herself as she climbed back into the vents, making her way back to her office. Everything was set. The twelve large pizzas sat on the break room tables, their tempting aroma wafting through the corridors. When the 20 gallon bucket of lard poured down on top of her green haired nemesis, the pizza launching mechanism would fling the twelve doughy disks, covering the lard ball with pizza. It was going to be priceless. Expensive, but priceless. 

Landing back in her office, she pulled up her email, selecting the group 'Turks' to email to. Only, she had altered her group and had only one address to which the message would be sent...Akalara. To the loan recipient, she sent the following message:

_Hey Guys! I won 100 gil off a scratcher ticket and bought everyone pizza! It's in the breakroom! Come and get it!  
-Niki_

Scooping Kali up in her arms, she kissed the four-armed siamang and grinned. After this, Reno would dump Akalara like a ball of lard.

* * *

Akalara made her way to the breakroom, following the pizza smell. Of course the clinically insane one would have the luck to win on a scratcher ticket. The ones who didn't need it always had all the luck. Had the email been sent just to her, she would have been wary eating the pizza, but since it was sent out to the entire force, she felt somewhat at ease. She wouldn't eat anything Niki gave her personally. As it was, she'd make Revan take the first bite and then go from there, depending on his reaction. 

Reaching the breakroom, she pushed opened the door and stepped inside. Hearing something overhead she looked up in time to see a bucket head straight for her.

Then everything went black.

* * *

Reno sniffed the air, following his nose to the breakroom. Sage cut in front of him and Reno shoved him playfully. "Watch it, Assfuck!" Reno snarled. "You don't cut in front of your superiors like that." 

"Fuck off, Reno," Sage grinned, slugging the red-head's arm. "And you _wish_ you could fuck this ass."

"Fuck no!" Reno laughed. "Have you seen the three babes I got? Why would I want your scrawny, breastless ass when I get Brit in the morning, Niki in the evening and Akalara at supper time?"

Sage laughed as he pushed the door to the breakroom and stumbled. "What the fuck?" he cursed, catching himself before he fell in the slippery mess. "Oh shit!"

Reno pushed passed him and looked down at his green haired lover sprawled unconscious on the floor, her head gashed opened wide and blood pouring out of the wound. A large bucket of lard lay beside her, it's contents spilling onto the floor. He glaced around finding pizza splatter across the back wall, sticking to the paint. "Akalara!" he said, putting his fingers on her neck and feeling for a pulse. "Come on, Baby, you gotta say somethin' to me! Let Reno know you're okay."

Akalara remained quiet and motionless and Reno looked down at her with complete fear in his eyes. "Sage, get the Medical Facility up here now!" he yelled.

Sage jumped up and skidded back out into the hall, calling the Medical Facility as he made his way to Tseng's office. "Yo! Get a stretcher up here quick! We got a girl knocked out in the breakroom!" he yelled as he pushed his way passed his boss' door. "Sorry Sir, but we have a problem in the break room. Akalara's hurt."

Tseng jumped up from his desk and followed Sage down the hall. "You've called the Medical Facility?" he asked, watching as Sage nodded. "Good. What happened?"

"Don't know, Sir," he said. "We found her there, her head gashed wide the fuck open."

By the time they made it back to the breakroom, quite a crowd of Turks had gathered, watching as the EMT's from the Medical Facility loaded the unconscious woman onto the stretcher, hooking a temporary heart monitor to her. Reno stayed by her side as they wheeled her out of the breakroom and down the halls of the Turks headquarters.

"Hang on, Baby," he kept saying, squeezing her hand tightly. "Don't stop fighting, Honey. Stay with me, all right?"

The heart monitor beeped steadily as they traveled in the elevator, taking them to the hospital floor of the Medical Facilities three floors in the buidling. No sooner had they wheeled her out of the elevators did the heart monitor flat line, sending the EMTs into action.

They pushed Reno out of the way, as they began working on Akalara to get her heart pumping again. "Akalara!" Reno yelled, running after them. "Don't you lose her! I'll kill every last one of your mother fuckers if you let her die! Akalara! Don't you leave me, Baby! Come on, Honey, I need you!"

"Sir, you need to calm down," a nurse said, touching his arm gently. Reno jerked and ran after Akalara, hearing as one of the EMT's shouted, "We're losing her!"

"NO!" Reno screamed, banging on the closed doors they had taken her through, trying to peer through the small window for a glimpse of green hair. "NO, fuckin' Odindammit!"

He turned around and leaned against the closed doors, running his fingers over his face as tears formed in his eyes. Sliding down the doors, he sat on the ground and banged his head against them in frustration.

Soon, he felt strong arms pulling him up and looked into the reflective lenses of his partner's sunglasses. "Come on, Reno," Rude said calmly. "I'll wait with you."

Reno nodded and let his best friend lead him to the waiting area. And wait, they did.

* * *

Niki was humming cheerfully as she skipped down the hall. Her afternoon nap had been wonderful and now she was ready for a little Reno action. But first, she had to find him. 

"Hey Feather," she said as she approached her partner speaking with Katrina. "Have you seen Reno?"

"He's still down in the Medical Facility," she said with a worried tone.

"What?" Niki asked in shock. "Why? Is he okay?"

"He's fine," Feather said. "Didn't you hear what happened to Akalara?"

Niki grinned happily. "Good, so it worked!" she laughed.

The two women's jaws dropped. "Niki, how could you?" Katrina yelled. "You did that to her on purpose?"

"Well, yeah," Niki said, rolling her eyes. "In case you didn't know, we're in this sort of competion for Reno. It was my turn to do something to her."

"Well congratulatons," Feather spat out. "You eliminated your competition."

"Don't be so dramatic, Feather," Niki giggled, sticking out her tongue. "A little lard never hurt anyone."

"Nicole, this was your doing?" Tseng asked loudly, standing right behind the little rookie. Niki squeaked and turned around, facing the tall Wutain.

"Yes, Sir," she answered smiling shakily.

Tseng narrowed his eyes at her. "Wipe that smile off your face this instant," he ordered on a hiss. "Explain yourself right now."

Niki's eyes filled with tears, not understanding why everyone was so upset at her. "It was just a harmless prank," she wailed. "The lard was non-toxic, I swear, and the pizza wasn't poisoned or too hot. I just wanted her to get covered in nasty goo so she would be gross and Reno wouldn't love her!"

"Your harmless prank has become potentially life-threatening," Tseng told her, staring her down. "The bucket of lard that was, I'm assuming, supposed to pour out onto Akalara instead fell onto her head, leaving a rather sizeable and dangerous wound. She flatlined earlier and they managed to resusitate her, but have not been able to revive her. She has undergone emergency surgery to eliminate the swelling in her cranium. Now, tell me, Niki, does that sound like it was harmless to you?!"

Niki burst into tears, collapsing on the floor. "No, Sir," she whispered, grasping at his legs. "I'm sorry, Sir. I really didn't mean to. I promise."

Tseng pushed her off his legs. "Get up, Nicole," he ordered, turning and walking to the elevators. "It's not cute anymore."

Niki continued crying on the floor, hugging her arms around her stomach. She felt awful. She never meant for Akalara to get hurt. She just wanted to embarass her and make her look bad to Reno. Oh gods, Reno. He would never forgive her for this.

* * *

Tseng stepped out of the elevators and searched the waiting room, spotting the red-head and the bald head sitting together with Kandi sitting between them, consoling Reno and rubbing the bald man's back comforting. He went over and pulled up a chair, leaning forward with his hands clasped before him. "Anything new?" 

Kandi shook her head, and squeezed Reno's hand, leaning over to kiss the red-head on his forehead. "Not yet," she said softly. "But at least she's alive."

Reno nodded and looked up at Tseng, his eyes clouded with worry. "Any word on what happened, Bossman?" he asked.

Tseng sighed and nodded his head slowly. "It was a prank that backfired," he answered. "Niki was the one who set it up."

"What?" Reno asked in disbelief. His eyes narrowed. "Damn it, Niki!"

"It was unintentional, Reno," Tseng explained. "She didn't mean for Akalara to get hurt. She's not that malicious. I've already reprimanded her for it."

The elevators opened and Brit and Niki walked through the doors, Niki carrying a stuffed teddy bear and tears still streaming from her puffy eyes. She looked over at Reno and burst into tears again at his angry look. "I'm sorry!" she shrieked, shoving the teddy bear at Brit and running down the hall.

Brit glared at Reno. "Way to go, Fucktard," she snapped. "She feels like shit enough as it is. She doesn't need you giving her a godsdamned death glare."

Kandi got up and kissed Rude's bald head. "I'll go find her," she said, wiping her eyes. She grabbed Tseng's arm on her way. "Let me know if there's any news, all right? I've known Akalara longer than the rest of you."

Tseng nodded, knowing the two women had worked under General Sephiroth and SOLDIER, First Class, Zack Fair, before their time with the Turks and thus had a friendship. He watched as she went after the clinically insane woman.

As soon as she disappeared down the hall, the surgeon appeared. "Tseng," he said to the Turk leader.

Tseng turned his head and looked at the doctor, raising to his feet to hear the news.

* * *

Kandi found Niki hiding under a cafeteria cart, eating a cup of Jell-o with her fingers and crying her eyes out. Her short black, pleated skirt did little to cover the red-boyshorts as she tucked her knees up under her chin, slurping away at the jiggling dessert sadly. Kandi climbed in next to her, wrapping her arms around her as Niki just cried. 

"I didn't mean to," she whispered. "I didn't want to hurt her. I promise."

"I know," Kandi said, softly stroking her hair. "I think Reno knows that, too."

"He hates me," Niki wailed. "He's never going to forgive me."

"Sure he will," Kandi said. "Give him time. You know Reno; he's a good guy."

Niki slurped up some more Jell-o, drooling red juice on Kandi's arms. The older woman didn't mind. "Is she going to be okay?" Niki whispered.

Kandi's eyes filled with tears. "I hope so," she whispered in response.

"You love her, too?" Niki asked, snuggling closer against the woman who had become a big sister to her.

"Yeah," Kandi said, hugging Niki closer. "I've known her a long time. She's one of my closest friends besides Trina and Ram. And you, of course."

"I'm sorry," Niki hiccuped. "I didn't know it would backfire."

Kandi laughed softly. "We never know when things are going to backfire. That's why it's called a backfire. It's unexpected and unwanted." She pulled away from Niki, easing out of the cart and pulling the girl up with her. "Come on; I'm going to call Torr and have him take you home. I'll call you as soon as I know something, all right? It's just probably best for you to get a little distance between you and Akalara right now."

Niki nodded reluctantly, finishing her Jell-o while Kandi called Torr.

* * *

Having placed Niki safely in Torr's hands, Kandi returned to the waiting room, thankful now she decided not to have children. She had ended up adopting half of the Turk force as it was. Rude grabbed her in a hug when he saw her. 

"Whoa!" she giggled. "Miss me that much, Big Guy?"

"Doctor came out," Rude began. Kandi's heart dropped. "She's awake. Looks like she's gonna make it."

Kandi breathed a sigh of relief. "Good," she said. "Is Reno in there with her?"

Rude nodded. "Go on in," he said. "I'll wait for you. How's Niki?"

"She'll be okay," she said, walking through the doors to Intensive Care. She entered, grinning when she saw Reno kissing Akalara's lips sweetly. Reno had been one of her best friends for longer than she could remember. All three girls he was involved with offered him something special. Brit gave him the steamy sex he craved; Akalara dominated him when he needed it; and Niki gave him that sweet innocence that kept him sane in their line of work. She couldn't figure out which one was best for him though. If all three women could be wrapped up in one person, it would be perfect. For now, he'd have to suffer (she snorted mentally at that) with the three of them.

"Hey, Green Bitch," Kandi said, sliding up next to Reno. She reached for her hand. "I'll bet that is one bitchin' headache."

"You have no fucking clue," Akalara moaned. "You remember all those nights drinking with Zack and Seph?"

Kandi laughed and nodded. "Hell yeah."

"Yeah, those hangovers...cakewalk compared to this," she said. She searched her friends face. "Reno told me what happened."

Kandi nodded again. "She didn't mean for you to get hurt," she told her. Akalara's eyes flashed and Kandi shook her head. "Could have happened with one of your pranks just as easily, Girl."

"Hmph," Akalara huffed. "If this would have been one of my pranks, Niki'd be dead."

"Stop it," Reno said, placing his fingers to her lips. "Just stop, okay? I don't want none of my girls dead, got it?"

"I don't aim to kill with her, Reno," Akalara told him with a smile. "Just...maim."

"Oh, well, then you're even," Kandi said with a warning glance.

"Hardly."

"You know what?" Kandi said, taking Akalara's morphine button. "I think it's time for bed. Night, Akalara."

Kandi hit the button twice and watched as Akalara's eyes drifted shut. Reno snickered. "That's one way," he said. "Normally, I just stick my dick in her mouth."

"Yeah, I got cured of that after that one time," Kandi said, returning his grin.

"So, the rumors were true about you and Blackspike," he said.

Kandi just shrugged. "You better call Niki," she said as they walked out of Akalara's room. "She's upset you're going to hate her."

"I don't hate her," Reno said. "I know it was an accident."

"Tell her that, okay?" she asked, taking his arm. "And tell her Akalara will be fine. Out for blood, but fine."

"Thanks, yo."

She winked at him. "Anytime."

* * *

Akalara was back to work in a few days. With the healing materia of the Medical Facility, she was back in top form in no time. Her first day back, she sat at her desk bespeckled with "Welcome Back!" balloons and flowers, and plotted. 

And then she smiled.

She had work to do.

* * *

**_A/N: Yay! I landed someone in the hospital! HOORAY! What revenge will Akalara seek on Niki? Will this fued ever end? Tune in next time for another episode of Operation: FFR!_**


	38. Partnered Mission IV

**_A/N: Back to the partnered missions since I have all current applicants in the fic. Except for the twins. So, I changed my mind. I have enough recruits so I am not going to be taking anymore applications at this time. Rather, I'm going to exploit the talents of our current ones. Next up, Joel and Sage._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot._**

* * *

"This intel better be freakin' accurate," Joel grumbled into his communicator. 

Ram snickered back at headquarters, monitoring the helicopter's position. "Silhouette is 100 positive the target is making the drop there," she said. "Sage, you should see a clearing to land in about a half-mile northwest of your current position."

"See it," Sage said, lowering the bird slowly.

"Good," Ram continued. "From there, you will ride the bike the remaining five miles to the destination. According to Sil's intel, the target drops the cocaine off in the tail feathers of the chocobo. We've been monitoring the bank transaction records. A sizeable transfer was made from the buyer to Neddam's account. He'll be making the drop tonight."

"Got it," Sage said, landing the copter and powering down the engines. "Ram, I'm putting the bird on the remote start feature. I'll contact you when we are headed back, that way you can get the engines started for us for a quick getaway."

"Sure thing, Baby," the blond said. "Be careful guys and happy haunting."

* * *

Neddam paid the admission fee for some random kids in exchange for them pretending to be with him. Once they got inside the corn maze, they ditched each other. Which was fine since he hated kids. 

This plan was perfect. After payment had been delivered for his drugs, he would plant them in the chocobo shaped corn maze for the buyer to find later in the evening. He'd wait until after dark, when the place was good and crowded, then con some kids to pretending to be with him. Since it was now October and the Sinister Season was being celebrated, costumes were permitted and encouraged in the haunted corn maze. Today, Neddam was a pirate, complete with novelty treasure chest. Inside the treasure chest, was the cocaine.

He didn't need a map since he knew this maze like the back of his hand. A right there, a left here, take the second path and keep going to the tailfeathers. The only thing that he absolutely hated more than kids were the demented psycho clowns with chainsaws that would jump out at various intervals, trying to scare the shit out of him. They got tedius and it didn't help that Neddam had an insane fear of the painted entertainers.

Finding the drop place was a breeze and he situated the corn stalks to cover the treasure chest so that the kids wouldn't discover it. Wiping his hands on his pirate pants, he started back out of the maze. Seeing a flash light and black cloak coming toward him, he plastered on a fake smile for the spook.

"Evening, Sir," said the muffled voice behind the Shriek villain's mask. "You may want to take that path right there. We're having to sawdust some puke up ahead. I guess one of the younger kids got really scared and made a huge mess."

"Poor kid," Neddam said with a shake of the head. "Will I be able to get out this way?"

"Yeah, no worries," the muffled voice said. "There's a few more spooks that way, but you know, nothing too bad. Have a good evening, Sir."

"Hey, thanks," Neddam said, turning and trotting down the indicated path and laughing to himself over the misfortune of the sick kid. "Stupid little bastard."

He continued on, humming along to the eerie music in the background. Feeling the hairs on the back of his neck prickle, he turned, not surprised to see a spook emerging from the corn stalks to follow him. Chuckling to himself, Neddam waved and continued on the path, knowing the spook would stay with him until it got bored. He circled a corner, glancing behind him to see the spook right over his shoulder. He had on a rubber demon's mask and a black cloak, his eyes glowing eerily in the dark. Laughing nervously, he spoke. "That's a neat trick with the eyes, Man," he said. "Kinda freaky."

The spook just stared at him and moved in closer.

Despite himself, Neddam began to feel a little fearful. "So, which is the closest way outta here?" he asked, turning to the spook. He backed up as the spook drew closer. "I...uh...need to find my kids," he lied.

"Only one way outta here for you, Neddam," the spook said, revealing a double edged hatchet from within the folds of his cloak.

"That's...pretty realistic looking," he sputtered. He jerked. "How did you know my name?"

The demon's head cocked. "Turks generally know the names of their targets," it said as the hatchet was raised and lowered swiftly, embedding itself into Neddam's chest.

Neddam's pained screamed could be heard over the corn maze, sending chills down the spines of the already thrill heightened patrons. Those who found his body with the hatchet still buried in his chest thought is was the coolest display they had seen in years. Though the blood looked a little fake.

* * *

"Got the cocaine," Sage said, flipping the Shriek mask up over his head. Joel nodded and tossed the demon mask off and into one of the compartments of the bike, straddling it and revving the engines. Sage stopped. "Dude, I'm not riding the Bitch seat again." 

"You pilot the copter, I drive the chopper, that's the deal," Joel told him. "Now, hop on, Bitch."

"Fuckin' jerk," Sage grumbled climbing on the seat behind him. Joel smirked and sped off towards the copter. Sage leaned back against the rest. "Ram...start the engines, Baby."

* * *

**Mission Report: Target was hunted down and eliminated in the Haunted Corn Maze. Body is now a popular attraction; will remain so until the smell becomes too much for patrons to handle.**

**Turks Assigned: Sage and Joel**

**Status: Rookies**

**Specialites: See individual profiles**

**Target: Wes Neddam, Drug Dealer**

**Death by: Hatchet to the chest**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

**_A/N: Can you tell I went to the corn maze tonight? I HATE those sadistic chainsaw weidling clowns! Review or I'll send in the clowns!_**


	39. Turk Day Off: Part II

_**A/N: I love my husband and you are all about to see why, since this day off was his idea. He has as much of a dimented imagination as I do. Maybe more so. Maybe not, but he's pretty damn dimented.**_

**_Disclaimer: Guess what? Still not mine._**

**_ShoutOut: To the person who flamed me, annon or whoever the hell you were, I present to you a Turk salute. (all Turks flip off flamer) To be clear on the intent of that manuever, that's a big FUCK YOU from us to you! Get a life, Asshole._**

* * *

Four black SUVs and three rumbling black Harley Davidson's pulled into the parking lot of the city park. There were a few people there, not too busy for a Sunday afternoon. Mainly just families out for a Sunday picnic. Several of them decided to leave when the saw what poured out of the SUVs and Harley's. 

Twenty-four Turks in a variety of dress, ranging from shorts or jeans to pleated mini skirts and capris, sneakers to flip flops. Accompanying the killers were two small children and one 13-year old boy, the children being the spawn of two of the Turks and the boy the brother of another.

Welcome to one fucked up family outting.

Katrina adjusted her shades, still recovering from her traditional Sunday hangover. "Tseng, why the hell are we here?" she asked, grasping at Vincent's clawed arm in an attempt to steady herself.

"Unity," the Wutain answered, helping Rude pull out a cooler of beer and sodas. "Since the team is so new, we need to work on cohesiveness."

"Lard's fairly sticky," Akalara piped up, glaring at the clinically insane Turk in her trademark pleated mini skirt. "We could use that."

Niki pouted and ducked into the back of an SUV to retrieve some of the food and to stop herself from crying.

"That's enough, Akalara," Tseng said sternly. "That's in the past. Moving forward, we are all a team and as such we need to learn to work together."

"Right," Reno said, producing a football and several red pieces of cloth. Rude stood beside him, holding blue pieces of cloth. "Training exercise. Welcome to Turk Flag Football."

The guys whooped in approval, as did a few of the girls. Kandi kicked off her flipflops and grabbed the red cloths out of Reno's hands. "How are we picking teams?" she asked.

Rude smirked at her. "Guys versus girls," he said.

"What?" Ram asked indignantly. "That's hardly fair."

"It will teach the ladies how to work together to defeat someone stronger than them," Tseng told them.

"And it will be shirts versus skins," Reno added with a wicked glare. "The girls will be skins."

"What?!" the girls screamed to the catcalls of the guys.

"It will teach the men how to work through distractions to obtain the goal," Tseng said with a grin. "It's just shirts, Ladies. You can keep the bras on."

"I'm not wearing one!" Niki cried, crossing her arms over her chest when the guys leered at her. "Shut up!"

Elena laughed and pulled her shirt over her head. "Come on, Girls," she said. "It'll be fun! They won't be able to beat us."

"I'm good with it," Nina said with a grin, removing her own shirt.

Kandi shrugged and pulled her shirt over her head as well, smiling at Rude who lowered his sunglasses to get a better look. He shoved Joel when he caught him staring. "Back off," he snarled.

Joel grinned. "Just looking at the goods, Man," he said, winking at Kandi. "Gotta admit, Rude. I'm jealous."

Rude cracked his knuckles and Joel threw up his hands in defeat. Kandi giggled and went to Niki. "Turn around, Sweetie," she said, taking her shirt and lifting up Niki's. She tied the fabric of her shirt around the other girl's breasts and helped her get her own shirt off, while the guys and Nina watched and drooled. "There you go," she said, patting her cheek.

"Oh my gods, please kiss her now," Torr groaned.

Nilto took her kids' hands. "I'm taking the kids to the playground," she said, kissing Randak. "Especially if there is going to be partial nudity involved. Plus, there are about four more girls than guys, so four of us need to bow out to even it up."

N.C. shoved Nate. "We're going, too," she said laughing. "I don't want my kid brother exposed to this sort of...thing."

Nate eyed the bra clad breasts. "I can handle it," he said grinning. "Seriously! I can!"

"Go!" N.C. said, pushing him again. "If you're not too young, then I am!"

Akalara sat down an the sidelines. "I'll sit out, too," she said. "I did just get out of the hospital, after all."

Feather sat down next to Akalara. "I don't like football," she said grinning. "I'll just be a cheerleader."

"Thank you for volunteering, Ladies," Tseng said, watching intently as the rest of the girls took off their shirts. "We'll give you ladies first choice of possession."

"We'll defer to the second half," Brit said, looking at the feet of her team. "Okay, since I'm the only one of you bitches wearing sneakers, I guess _I'll_ kick off."

"Fuck that shit," Kai said, snatching the ball from Reno. "I'll kick...barefooted."

"You'll break your godsdamned toes!" Brit yelled at her.

Kai grinned. "Wanna bet?"

Brit raised her arms in defeat. "Fine, but I'm not carrying your broke toed ass off the field," she answered with a smirk as she stuffed her red flag in the back pocket of her shorts.

The teams consisted of the following people: For the girls, Kandi, Katrina, Ram, Brit, Niki, Elena, Magni, Sil, Nina and Kai. For the guys, Tseng, Vincent, Reno, Rude, Joel Torr, Revan, Sage, Wei and Randak. Since ten people to a team was a little much, they would alternate playing, finding each person's strengths in regards to defense or offense. The guys, unfortunately, had the advantage over the girls, beings that Joel, Randak, Torr, Revan, Sage and Rude had all played football in either high school or college or both, in some cases. And they were fairly big.

But the girls had their own secret weapon...Niki's breasts kept falling out of her makeshift bra, resulting in her squealing and the guys voicing their approval.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Akalara said, getting up from her seat under a tree. "Niki, get your ass over here."

Niki went over timidly, afraid Akalara would hit her or something. If that happened, she was ready to bite...hard. Akalara surprised her by reaching under her own shirt and unclasping her bra, pulling the garment out from under her tank top and handing it to Niki. The green-haired woman smiled kindly at a bewildered Niki. "Use mine," she said. "Just do me a favor and wipe that damn smirk off Reno's face."

Niki returned the smile and nodded, impusively giving her nemesis a quick hug. "Thanks," she said as she scurried off to put on the other woman's bra. She came back a few seconds later and struck a quick pose to the catcalls of the guys.

"Let's get this damn game started!" Magni yelled. Kai took position and sent a spiralling kick straight to the Sage's arms. The pilot ran the ball back into a swarm of half-naked women only to be tripped up by a foot being stuck out. He looked up from his place on the ground and saw Katrina smirking down at him.

"I'm too drunk for this game," she said with a laugh.

Kandi rolled her eyes at Ram and the other woman grinned, casting a quick spell over their tipsy friend. "Esuna," Ram said, watching as Katrina's eyes lost the glazed look and became bright again.

"Damn it, Ram, I hate when you do that!" Katrina said, sober once more. "Fine, let's kick some ass so I can start drinking again."

"You need a fucking intervention," Nina grumbled.

"I need a fucking fifth of Scotch," Katrina said as the ball was snapped and she leapt over the line of scrimmage and sacked the guys' quarterback.

Vincent stared up at her. "This is touch football, not tackle," he said with a smile.

"Right, and I'm touching you with my entire body," she replied. "Are you _really_ complaining?"

"No," he replied. "Just don't protest should I do the same to you."

"I'm not a fucking idiot, Vincent," Katrina said, helping him to his feet.

Line of scrimmage, ball snapped. Fake pass to Revan, handoff to Reno who ran it up the middle right into the shrieking glory of Niki, who clamped her arms around his waist and tackled him to the ground.

"Tackling is not part of flag football!" Tseng exclaimed, lifting Niki off of Reno.

"Ah, come on, Bossman," Reno said, wrapping his arm around Niki. "Let's tackle. We've got Cure materia if anyone gets hurt."

Tseng breathed out an exasperated sigh. "Fine," he said. "But I don't want to hear any complaining about broken nails and messed up hair."

"You shovenistic, sexist PIG!" Elena shrieked at him. Everyone stopped and stared at the blond. She rounded again on Tseng. "You're fucking ass is mine."

Tseng watched as Elena gathered the girls around her and proceeded to plot against him. He went up to his team. "New strategy," he said somewhat nervously. "Protect me from the blond."

The guys snickered as the girls made their way back to the line. The ball was snapped and Vincent pumped once, twice, and sent to ball sailing into Tseng's arms who was met an instant latter with a blurry blond ball, pushing him back a good three yards.

"I said protect me from her!" he yelled, wincing as she kneed him in the groin getting back to her feet. "Team work, Men!"

The girls whooped and yelled as the guys set up to punt. Ram caught the ball and ran it back approximately 30 yards before she was stopped by Sage. Taking their places at the line of scrimmage, the ball was snapped and Sil handed off to Nina who ran it passed the guys for the first down.

"Fuck yeah!" Nina said, flipping Randak off as she tossed the ball back to Sil. "You bastards ain't got nothin' on us!"

"We are getting our asses kicked by girls!" Torr yelled. "Hot girls, but girls nonetheless! This fucking sucks!"

Joel set up in his position of defensive tackle, ready to kill the next person with the ball. Looked like it was going to be a pass play. Sure enough, Sil passed straight into Kandi's waiting arms, but the woman was already sprinting away from him. Revan grabbed her in a tackle, inadvertantly grabbing the strap of her bra and snapping it. Kandi rose to her feet and seethed, fixing the broken strap. "That's a flag!" she yelled at him. "Illegal bra strap!"

"Illegal bra strap?" Rude asked, going to her to make sure she wasn't going to flop out.

"Yeah, we aren't wearing helmets, so no face masks, but if you snap a girl's bra strap, that should be a five yard penalty," she argued.

"Cheating little bitches!" Wei yelled.

"Fuck you, Wei," Brit said, shoving him. "It's a legitimate penalty. We don't have shirts on, remember?"

"Five yard penalty," Tseng said, ending the argument. "That is cancelled out by unsportsman like conduct by Brittany for shoving Wei."

"What?" she shrieked. "Godsdammit, fuck you, Tseng."

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Sil shrieked. "Get back here and let's fucking score!"

Line of scrimmage, ball snapped, Sil pumps and sends a gorgeous pass into the endzone right into Torr's hands. Torr runs it back but is leveled by a tag team tackle from Nina and Brit.

"What the hell, Sil?!" Elena screamed. "You fucking missed Kai!"

"Son of a bitch jumped in front of her, Man!" she screamed back. "You think you can do any better, YOU quarterback next possession!"

"Fine, I WILL!"

Feather was jumping up and down on the sidelines. "PASS!" she shrieked as Vincent sent the ball flying to Wei. The small Wutain sprinted down the field and was heading for the end zone when the ground opened up and swallowed half his body.

"Okay, which one of you cheating bitches has the Earth materia?" Joel asked loudly.

"All I got on me is this," Kandi said, activating her Transform materia and casting Mini on Joel. The girls laughed as the 6'1", 235 pound man shrunk to the size of a squirrel. Niki squealed in delight and scooped him up.

"Can I keep him?!" she asked, cuddling him. "Please?!"

Tseng sighed and cast Dispel, returning Joel to normal. Niki pouted at the loss of her new pet. Joel smiled and patted her head, causing the clinically insane Turk to smile happily.

"Who had the Earth materia?" Tseng asked, working to get Wei out of the ground.

Akalara snickered from the sidelines with Feather. "Sorry," she said innocently. "My aim must be off. I guess I need more practice."

They continued playing for nearly two hours. No one scored. A fist fight between Katrina and Sage broke out, along with a long string of curses between Brit and Randak. Nina clothes lined Wei at one point. Niki succeeded in de-pantsing Reno, who had chosen today to go commando. Magni had tackled Torr and tried to administer a vampire bite to his neck in retaliation for stopping her 90 yard punt return. Tseng had finally pinned Elena down to the ground and explained he wasn't a sexist pig, just a realist. The game finally ended when Ram sacked Vincent who got mad enough to clinch the ball too tightly in his clawed hand, puncturing the football.

Joel relocated his disconnected shoulder and smirked at Kai who was doing the same to her ankle. "Some game," he said.

Kai looked up and grinned. "Best one ever," she said, accepting his proffered hand and rising to her feet. "Now, didn't we have food and beer?"

Kandi jumped onto Rude's back and let him give her a piggy back ride back to the sidelines. "FOOD!" she screamed happily.

The food, beer and sodas were distributed to all, Nilto and the kids along with N.C. and Nate returning once the cursing had ceased to reach them at the playground. Reno sat in the midst of his girls, who continued bitching at each other over how they could have scored in the last run. Niki even congratulated Akalara on the sweet aim at Wei with the Earth materia. Akalara praised her on the de-pantsing of Reno. Brit called them both crazy, sadistic bitches and said she was glad to know both of them. Reno simply grinned at his good luck.

Tseng watched his Turks with a proud eye, knowing that this little exercise, if it did nothing else, finally brought them together as the fucked up, disfunctional family they were.

* * *

_**A/N: Hey Family! Also, quick poll...which god/dess/s/es do your Turks swear by? I'm a Shiva girl myself, but I don't want to push my faith on anyone else. Just let me know in your review or by PM. Also, if you want to flip off the flamer...be my guest! (flips off flamer)**_


	40. Operation: FFR Part VIII

_**A/N: Round Eight...DING!!! **_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot.**_

* * *

If it was one thing that everyone knew about Niki, other than the fact that she was clincally insane...and had a four-armed pet siamang that flung maggots...or had potty-trained mice...if it was _another_ thing that everyone knew about Niki, is what that the girl loved Jell-O. Red was her favorite flavor, but she loved all of them...except yellow. And now she was facing a quandry. 

There was only yellow left in the cafeteria.

Niki pouted at the yellow Jell-O, willing one of them to turn to another color. It wasn't working. No matter how hard she channelled her (non-existent) Jell-O color changing powers, not one of the yellow cups changed hues. It was depressing.

Akalara walked passed her and stopped, staring at her. "Niki?" she asked. "You okay?"

Niki continued to pout. "Only yellow Jell-O left," she said, jealously eyeing Akalara's green Jell-O.

The green haired women followed her line of vision and smiled, handing Niki the cup. "Take it," she said kindly. "I insist. You like the stuff better than I do anyway."

Niki's eyes got big as she took the generous gift from her nemesis. "Thanks!" she breathed out in awe, tipping the cup and slurping down the wiggly dessert. "Ummm...yummy!"

Akalara laughed. "You're welcome," she said as she wondered off. She walked passed the Amazon's table on her way to sit with Brit and caught Kandi's eye. The other woman raised her eyebrow at her in question, but Akalara simply smirked and continued on her way.

* * *

Lunch was over and Niki was naked in her office with an equally naked Reno on top of her, quickly building her to orgasm with just his fingers working her slick folds as his mouth worked her sensitive neck. 

"Oh Reno," Niki breathed, her voice lowered a few octaves from passion. "Gods, that feels so damn good."

"You want it, Baby?" Reno asked, pushing his erection up against her opening. "Tell me how much you want it."

Niki groaned. "Give it to me," she said huskily. "Give it to me hard."

Reno proceeded to do just that, ramming against her and slipping down her thighs. He tried again, missing her entrance once more. He looked into her face, noticing how her jaw had become more...angular. And she had an Adam's apple. And her breasts were replaced with pectoral muscles.

He moved his hand to the front of her hips and grasped a penis.

That wasn't his.

Jumping back he stared at her...him...Niki. "Whoa...whoa...WHAT?!" he screamed. "Niki?"

Niki looked down at herself and shrieked, a very disturbing sound coming from the now very male clinically insane Turk rookie. Niki grabbed her chest. "Where are my boobs?!" she cried. She grabbed her penis. "Where's my...hey, that feels pretty good!"

Reno watched, mouth agape as his now male lover continued stroking himself...herself...Niki kept jacking off. "No, no, stop!" Reno said, unable to process that his cute little Niki had one of _those_. What was worse, was that hers was bigger than his and he wasn't lacking by any means! "What happened?"

Niki was giggling as she continued playing with her newly acquired goods. "I don't know," she said, looking at him.

Reno stilled her hand and shook his head. "Please stop," he muttered. "That's a little disturbing considering there was girly bits there just a minute ago."

Niki pouted, her facial stubble more visible on her lip. "You don't think I'm sexy anymore?" she asked.

Reno laughed at the absurdity of it all. "Okay, there have been rare instances when I've been with other guys, but that was a long time ago," he said, remembering fondly getting Seph and Zack drunk enough to have his way with them. "But, Babe, I like you better as a girl."

Niki sighed. "Guess I need to figure out how to fix this then, huh?" she asked.

Reno nodded. "Then we'll pick up where we left off, all right?" he said, pulling his pants on.

Niki struggled to pull her mini skirt over her man thighs. "Uh...okay," she said, wincing as the fabric ripped a little.

There was a knock on the door and it cracked slightly, a brown haired, red-streaked head poking in. Kandi assessed the situation and burst into laughter. "Oh, boy does _this_ bring back memories!" she said.

Reno's face paled as realization struck him. "Oh shit, are you thinking what I think you're thinking?" he asked. Kandi nodded. "Does that shit still exist?"

"Apparently so," she said, taking Niki's hand. "You know Hojo. No expiration date on his sludge."

"Where are you taking me?" Niki asked, obediently following Kandi.

"You got the antidote for the Green Sludge?" Reno asked.

She smirked. "I think I know who does," she answered.

* * *

Akalara fell out of her chair laughing as she viewed the male Niki being led into her office by Kandi. "Oh my gods, that worked out better than I hoped!" she gasped out. 

Kandi stiffled a laugh when Niki glared at her, then burst into laughter despite herself. "I'm sorry, Niki-chan," she said hysterically. "I really am, but you have no idea about the history of the Green Sludge."

Niki sat in a chair and crossed his...her...legs. The two woman burst into laughter again. "Explain," she said.

Akalara wiped her eyes. "You know Hojo, right?" she asked after she had calmed down enough to explain. Niki nodded. "Well, about, what, eight years ago, Kandi?"

Kandi nodded, unable to speak.

"Hojo created this substance which we dubbed the Green Sludge," Akalara explained. "The stuff was accidently mass distributed via ShinRa's cafeteria system. The Green Sludge has gender altering capabilities, turning males to females and vice versa. I didn't get to see first hand what the stuff did, but Kandi told me about it after she and Zack utilized it one night."

Kandi glared at her. "Anyway, after Akalara heard what Zack and I had done, she wanted to try it out with Sephiroth," she continued. "Unfortunately, he went to Nibelheim after she finally go ahold of the stuff and the antidote and we all know what happened in Nibelheim."

"So, I've been saving it for a special occassion," Akalara said grinning. "How was the Jell-O, Niki?"

Niki blinked. "The Jell-O was the Green Sludge?" she asked. Akalara nodded and Kandi snorted. Niki couldn't help it; she laughed too. "Good one. Very good. I'm impressed. Now...give me the antidote."

"Not so fast," Akalara said revealing a camera. "First, I need payment. I want pictures of this."

Kandi grabbed her stomach and laughed. "Pose, Niki-chan!" she giggled.

Niki stood up and smiled, flipping her skirt up. Akalara balked, then flashed the camera. "Holy shit, it's bigger than Reno's!"

Kandi grinned. "Mine was bigger than Zack's," she said fondly. "Shiva, he was a pretty little virgin."

Niki giggled. "Antidote," she said, reaching her hand out. Akalara gave it to her and she drank it down, transforming back to her normal cute self. "So...is there anymore of that stuff?"

Akalara shrugged and Kandi nodded with a smirk. "Might have to get some more at a later date," Niki giggled. "Until then, I'm over due for my afternoon fucking. Bye!"

Niki sprinted out the door and Akalara turned to Kandi. "You got more of that stuff for real?" she asked.

Kandi simply smiled as she left the office. "I want a copy of that picture," she called. Akalara laughed.

* * *

_**A/N: The Green Sludge belongs to dantesdarkqueen and is featured in her fic's 'Evidence of Sephiroth's Humanity' and 'Return of the Green Sludge'. PLEASE read them! They are hilarious and dantesdarkqueen and I are working to link our fics together. It's working very nicely! Review!**_


	41. Applicant Number 18, Partnered Mission V

**_A/N: Our next applicant...keeps changing their screen name. So, uh...yeah. Our next applicants are Black and Widdow Cambria. Good luck, Twins. Also, The Sinister Season is Gaia's version of Halloween. Except instead of singling it down to one day at the end of the month, they celebrate it the entire month, so you will probably see a lot of reference to it until the end of October, okay?_**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot and Yorick's skull. William Shakespeare owns_ MacBeth**

* * *

The Sinister Season was the time of year when all the crazies came out to play. There would be people dressed in costumes roaming the streets at random; witches, demons, skeletons, headless chocobomen, and vampires. Vincent Valentine particularly liked this time of year. It was the only time he could wear his trademark red-cloak and leather ensemble without people running from him like he was a freak. 

And that's exactly what he was wearing. He had forgone his new Turk uniform in favor of his usual attire and was standing in the back of a small outdoor theatre, watching as the players on stage worked through one of the more interesting scenes from MacBeth.

The first witch, a tall young woman about 5'8", with light red shoulder length hair, pushed her side bangs out of her tawny eyes and began the scene with her witchy sisters. "Thrice the brinded cat hath mew'd."

"Thrice and once the hedge-pig whined."

"Harpier cries: - 'tis time, 'tis time."

The first young woman pushed her black cloaked off her slim shoulders, revealing a very elaborate costume. She set a basket of apples down on the ground and proceeded with her lines, moving in succession with the other two witches. "Round about the caldron go; In the poison'd entrails throw. Toad, that under cold stone days and nights has thirty-one swelter'd venom sleeping got, boil thou first i'the charmed pot."

Grasping hands around the caldron, all three women spoke as one. "Double, double toil and trouble; fire, burn; and, caldron, bubble."

Vincent smirked as they burst out into hysterical evil laughter, the caldron bursting into flames before settling back down. _Interesting effect_, Vincent thought to himself.

The encantations of the witches continued on until the second witch uttered her most famous line. "By the pricking of my thumbs, somthing wicked this way comes: Open, locks, whoever knocks!"

Onto the stage, MacBeth strutted on. He looked strikingly similar to the first witch, save his light red hair was shorter and kept falling into his tawny eyes, keeping them obscured from view. And he was significantly taller, at least 6'2". "How now, you secret, black, and midnight hags! What is't you do?"

Vincent snickered at the death glare the first witch sent to MacBeth. The three weird sisters uttered their next line. "A deed without a name."

The scene proceeded on, the audience captivated. Though they were true to the lines, the witches and MacBeth were liberal in their interpretation of the actions on stage. They did not simply center around the boiling and flaming caldron, watching as the apparitions made their appearances, speaking the prophecies of MacBeth's eventual downfall. At one point, the first witch picked up her basket of apples watching as the first apparition, an head bedecked with a helmet appeared. MacBeth spoke his line. "Tell me, thou unknown power, --"

The first witch took an apple and stuffed it in MacBeth's mouth, silencing him. "Hear his speech, but say thou naught," she hissed.

The crowd laughed at that and she proceeded to toss apples out to them. A man in the second row caught a particularly red one and proceeded to eat it with gusto. Vincent caught a large green apple as it was tossed with great precision at his head. He arched an eyebrow at the witch, but she simply winked at him and bit into her own apple. Deciding to follow suit, Vincent took a bite of the fruit, the juice trailing from the corners of his mouth down his chin.

The scene played on, with interesting improvisations from the players. How they could make a tragedy so entertaining was beyond Vincent's comprehension. After all the apparitions had said their lines, the first witch uttered her last of the scene. "Ay, sir, all this is so: - but why stands MacBeth thus amazedly? - Come, sisters, cheer we up his sprites, And show the best of our delights: I'll charm the air to give a sound, while you perform your antic round; That this great king may kindly say our duties did his welcome pay."

The women danced off, one light red head, one with light brown curls, and one with auburn hair, leaving MacBeth alone on the stage. "Where are they? Gone? - Let this pernicious hour stand aye accursed in the calendar! - Come in, without there!"

A man with snow white hair came on the stage. Vincent smirked at the choice of Lennox. "What's your Grace's will?"

"Saw you the weird sisters?"

Lennox looked around the stage. "No, my lord."

MacBeth glared. "Came they not by you?"

"No, indeed, my lord."

Their next lines were drowned out by a scream in the audience, but the players played on despite the rush to the man in the second row. MacBeth ended the scene with his final line, staring out into the audience at the man in the second row, half eaten apple still in hand. "This deed I'll do before this purpose cool: but no more sights! - Where are these gentlemen? Come, bring me where they are."

The players left the stage as the paramedics reached the man. Vincent silently made his way to the back of the stage, watching intently as the paramedics tried to revive the man but failed. He smirked as a body bag was removed and Sterling was placed inside.

The players were loading up into an SUV and Vincent hoped into the driver's seat. "Well done."

Widdow shoved her brother. "Black and midnight hags?" she hissed.

"Part of the play, Wid," he snickered.

She wacked him upside the head. "Yeah, but you were staring right at me," she seethed. "Feather and Magni are hags, too, you know!"

"Hey!" Feather pouted.

"Fuck you," Magni said, reaching for an apple.

"Give me one," Torr said. "Wait, only one was poisoned, right Black?"

"Ask Widdow," he said. "The one I ate was fine."

Widdow smirked. "Was it, dear brother?"

Black swallowed hard. "Wid?" She continued to smirk. "Wid?!"

Vincent chuckled as he cut in front of the ambulance and drove them back to Turk Headquarters.

* * *

**Mission Report: ****Target was eliminated by ingesting ricin laced apple at an outdoor performance of _MacBeth_.**

**Turks Assigned: Black and Widdow Cambria**

**Status: Rookies**

**Specialites: Both - Undercover ops, tag team fighting, martial arts; Black - Hacking, racing; Widdow - Seduction, poison**

**Target: Kamagur Sterling, Drug Syndicate**

**Death by: Poisoned Apple**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

**_A/N:_ MacBeth _is my favorite play. Poisoned apple was the weapon, so I started thinking witches, then MacBeth and then this scene developed. Hope you like it! And this is the absolute end of the new recruits. I guess this could also count as a partnered mission. Review!_**

**_Me (licks apple juice off Vincent's chin)_**

**_Vincent (smirks)_**


	42. Turk Day Off: Part III

_**A/N: SURPRISE!**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot.**_

* * *

She didn't see them coming. All of her recent training, all of her advanced reflexes and she didn't stand a chance. In a matter of moments, she was bound, gagged and blindfolded. Typical Friday night, really; only there was a significant difference. 

This was fucking Wednesday!

She was disarmed, robbed of her materia and her katars, then stuffed into the back of an SUV. Magni heard cackling as her captors climbed into the vehicle and turned the volume of the radio up, blasting out 'Get Stoned' and singing along in a very bad off-key harmony. She was going to be tortured...she just knew it.

After about a fifteen minute drive, she felt the vehicle stop and three doors open and shut. The back was opened and she was yanked out and dragged, struggling, down the sidewalk. A door opened and she was shoved inside. Her blindfold was removed and she stared into pitch black darkness. Suddenly, the lights were switched on, her eyes having to adjust to the drastic change and her ears being assaulted with a chorus of voices shouting, "Surprise!"

Magni blinked, her mouth still gagged, her hands still bound as she stared at her co-workers. Holy shit...she was in a bar.

"Happy Birthday, Magni!" Kandi said as she removed her bonds and ungagged her.

Magni turned to her and the other two Amazons. She hit Kandi and Ram with her fists while her foot kicked Katrina in the gut. "Fucking bitches!" she yelled, watching in satisfaction as they gasped for breath, blood running from Ram's lip. She grinned and nodded. "Now, let's party!"

"Gods damn," Kandi gasped. "Tifa! Tequila me!"

Seventh Heaven, home of Tifa Lockheart and Cloud Strife, was now filled wall to wall with costumed Turks. It was an infestation. But they had rented out the bar for the entire night, paying enough to cover her normal Wednesday night crowd plus. Tifa had commandeered Yuffie into helping her out with serving. The ninja, dressed as a Geisha, was currently chatting excitedly with a cat girl Niki, talking about different things that the insane or those close to it talk about. And Cloud, poor Cloud, was dressed as an emo-kid and staring mouth agape at the swarm of his former enemies in his home.

"Relax, Cloud," Tifa said, dressed adorably in a serving wench's costume and nudging him playfully. "They've changed, remember?"

"But there's so many!" he whispered, blinking his black lined eyes. "They're multiplying...like cockroaches."

"Someone say cock?" Katrina asked, taking a bottle of tequila and downing a good quarter of it. Vincent, dressed predictably as a vampire, sidled up beside the dominatrix garbed red-head and smirked at Cloud and Tifa, wrapping his arm around the woman.

"I'm guessing I get to take advantage of you tonight?" he said into her ear.

Katrina grinned. "Oh hell yeah," she answered, kissing him.

Tifa began to cringe as she started watching bottles of her finest liquor being mass distributed and chugged down within minutes. Cloud smirked at her. "Still think this is a good idea?"

Tseng, dressed handsomely in a Zute Suit, smiled and slipped his company credit card over to Tifa. "Charge whatever you want," he told her kindly. "I figure after tonight, you'll need to restock your cellar."

Tifa laughed and nodded. "Thanks, Tseng," she said, sticking her tongue out at Cloud. The blond just grinned and rolled his lined eyes.

Reno, dressed in tight blue jeans, white T-shirt and leather jacket, sauntered over to the juke box. "Hey, yo! Check this shit out! I'm the Fonz! Heeeey!" Reno hit the juke box and smashed the glass, cutting his hand into a bloody mess. "OW! Gods damned mother fuckin' piece of OW!!! SHIT!"

Tseng glanced at Tifa again. "Go ahead and add that and any other damages this lot happens to cause tonight to the bill, please," he said, a tired and worrisome expression covering his face. He turned to Elena. "What possessed us to take the children out?"

Elena, dressed as a flapper, laughed and kissed his cheek. "Magni's birthday," she said sweetly. "Plus, it's a learning experience."

Tseng leaned over and whispered in her ear. "I think you and I should cut out early," he said, trailing his tongue over her ear.

The blond woman grinned impishly. "Feeling a migraine coming on?" she teased.

He grinned and kissed her smiling lips. "Something like that," he answered.

Niki was at the bar, downing shots with Feather just as fast as Yuffie could pour them, the ninja laughing her head off as she snuck a couple drinks too. Brit and Akalara were playing their drinking game with Torr and Revan, everyone drinking a shot when someone said a curse word. They were going to be smashed in a matter of minutes since the conversation went a little something like this:

Revan (dressed as a pair of chopsticks): Hey Ak, show Torr your damn tits! (shot)

Akalara (dressed as a hooker): Fuck you, Sushi Boy! Show Brit your fucking cock, you dick licking, pussy faced, ass fucker! (shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot)

Brit (dressed as a bun): Fuck that shit! I've seen damn Torr's fucking cock and I know for a fucking shit-eating fact that his is bigger! (shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot)

Torr (dressed as a hot dog): Damn straight, Bitch! (shot, shot)

Revan: Fuck all you fuckin' fuckers! (shot, shot, shot)

Cloud quietly sat another two bottles of whiskey down in front of them, snickering to himself. He had a feeling the costumes would be coming off in less than an hour. The only one not in costume was the birthday girl herself, having been abducted to this party to begin with. But, she lost her suit jacket, tie and dress shirt, leaving her in just her pants and undershirt. She tied her tie around her head and said she was a really sucky ninja.

"Hey! You're Yuffie!" Reno laughed, not being quick enough to duck the glass thrown at him from said ninja/Geisha.

"Reno, you cock-sucking fucktard!" she screamed as Niki giggled and Feather, dressed as Little Bo Peep, blushed.

"Fuck you, Ninja Bitch!" Reno yelled back. He studied her. "Or Geisha bitch...whatever. Fuck you!"

The drinking game quad finished an entire bottle after those two lines, starting to sway in their chairs.

Kai and Joel were dancing together by the juke box Sage had managed to salvage and put back together. Joel was dressed as a mythical warrior, Kai as an Ancient priestess. Sage was dressed as, alarmingly, The Chocobo Sage. Ram had dressed as a sexy chocobo, covering various parts of her body with bright green feathers and leaving the rest of her skin bare. Sage had clamped a collar around her neck when she came in, telling her he was going to ride her later.

Kandi was dressed as a Goth Queen and sitting in the lap of Rude, who had on simply and pair of black leather pants and his sunglasses. The tattoos that decorated his upper arms and back displayed proudly. When asked what he was, he simply replied, "Whatever my Mistress wishes me to be," eliciting a very happy smirk from Kandi.

N.C. was dressed as an undead cheerleader and sneaking drinks with Nina, the pirate and Silhouette, dressed as a witch. Wei was late, but he walked through the doors wearing a white lab coat, black pants and black-rimmed glasses, black extensions added to his hair which was pulled into a ponytail.

"What the hell are you supposed to be?" Akalara asked as she and the other three downed another shot.

Wei grinned. "I'm Hojo!" he said.

Vincent snarled and drew Cerberus, sending three bullets into Wei's chest. Wei fell to the ground, dead. Nilto, dressed as a belly dancer, rolled her eyes and activated her Full Life materia, reviving the now blood soaked Hojo.

Vincent grinned evilly, eyeing the blood on lab coat and the three holes in the fabric. "Much better," he said, taking a drink of his red wine.

Katrina giggled as she kissed him tenderly. "Fucking bastard, hurting my baby," she said. "Now if only someone would dress like Lucrecia, I'd kick her ass for what she did to you."

Vincent ran his human hand over her face. "In the past," he said, kissing her gently.

Randak, dressed as a silver wizard, went to Nilto and gave her a glass of wine. "Since the kids are with your mom," he said into her ear. "I'm going to get your ass wasted and fuck your brains out tonight."

Nilto grinned. "You better," she answered.

Black was dressed as Zorro, sitting beside Feather and flirting terribly with her. Widdow, dressed in a sparkling webbed gown, had found a place with N.C., Nina and Silhouette, hitting shot after shot.

The liquor ran freely and the music pumped loudly. Elena looked at Tifa. "Where are the kids?" she asked loudly.

"With Barret," she replied, cutting some more limes and sliding them over to Kandi and Rude. "He took them to the Gold Saucer for the week."

Elena nodded and accepted another drink. Niki got up from the bar and stumbled over to the bathroom, giggling drunkenly. Feather turned her full attention to Black, nodding shyly as he asked if she wanted to dance. Reno sauntered over the bar in front of Yuffie and smirked.

"What do you want, Reno?" she sighed.

"Heeeey, I'm the Fonz," he said, pointing to himself with his thumbs. "Call me Fonzie."

"No."

"Do it, Yuffie."

"Fuck you, _Reno_."

"You know, you're cute when you curse," he said with a grin.

In spite of herself, Yuffie blushed. "Whatever," she said, setting a glass in front of him and pouring him a shot. "Get lost...Fonzie."

Reno tweaked her nose. "Thanks, Sweetheart," he said with a wink. Yuffie giggled and shook her head, her gaze inadvertently going to his ass as he walked away. He turned around and caught her staring, laughing at her as she blushed indignantly.

There was a line starting to form for the ladies room.

Magni stumbled over to Tseng and Elena, throwing her arms around her Wutain boss. "Thanks so much for this, Sir," she said with a grin. "No one's ever really thrown me a birthday party before."

Tseng chuckled and reached into this suit pocket, retrieving an envelope. He bent down and kissed Magni on the cheek. "Happy Birthday, Magni," he said, handing it to her. "It's from us all."

Magni blushed, her cheek still tingling where Tseng had kissed her. She opened the envelope, revealing a gift card. "Thanks," she said smiling.

Elena hugged her, whispering in her ear. "Fifty-thousand."

"Holy shit!" Magni gasped, looking at Tseng. "Seriously?!"

Tseng nodded. "Have fun with that," he said, downing another shot. His phone rang and he took it out of his jacket, looking at the caller ID. "Excuse me."

The line for the ladies room consisted of half of the female Turks now. And there was a puddle of water coming from underneath the door. "Oh shit," Kai said, stepping back. "Uh...Reno?"

Reno looked over at the blue-haired woman. "Heeeey, Mrs. S," he said suavely walking over to her. He eyed the puddle. "What's a'matter? Couldn't hold it, Marge?"

Kai hit him. "I think Niki's in there," she said.

"LIFESTREAM, COME FORTH!"

Reno turned toward the door, paling as he realized that was Niki's voice he heard. He pounded on the door. "Niki-chan," he said. "Baby, let me in."

"NO! The Cetra will be mad at me if I let a simple sentient being behold the Lifestream in it's natural state!"

Reno grabbed Kai. "I have an Ancient Priestess with me!" he told her, motioning for Rude to come over and help him. "Situation, Partner!"

Rude set Kandi on a barstool and went toward the ladies room. With one simple kick from his foot, the door opened, allowing them entrance. There stood Niki, in all her adorable kitty glory, flushing the toilet and saying, "Cetran children, come forth from your toilety grave! I release you from your porcelain prison!"

Rude snorted as Reno doubled over and laughed. "Niki-chan," he gasped out. "Wh-what are you doing?"

Niki looked at the two men and shrieked. "Get out of the women's bathroom!" she yelled, pushing them back. "The Lifestream won't come out if there is penis present!"

"Are you...summoning the Lifestream...from the toilet?" Rude asked, trying suppress a smile.

"Of course," she answered with her hands on her hips. "What else would I be doing in a bathroom?"

"How about using it?" Kai screamed from the doorway. "Some of us really have to go!"

Reno hadn't been able to stop laughing. He went to Niki and helped her out of the bathroom, barely stepping back in time to avoid being run over by Kai as she rushed in. "Niki-chan, I think you've had enough to drink," he told her, kissing her forehead gently. "Let's see if we can't get you some coffee and a little cake, aight, Babe?"

Niki jumped up and down excitedly. "Yay! Cake!"

Reno looked over at Rude. "How 'bout it, Buddy? You and Kandi want to join us for cake?" he asked, noticing the vein on the side of Rude's face was twitching. Reno followed Rude's shaded line of vision. "Oh...fuck."

Niki tilted her head to the side and stared. "Uh...huh?" she asked, scratching her head.

Sitting where he had left her was Kandi. His hands grasping her face tenderly as his lips closed over hers was Joel. Reno tried to grab Rude as he stalked over to the pair, but ended up falling flat on his face. He raised up just in time to see Rude, back muscles flexed, pulling Joel away from Kandi.

"What the hell is going on?" he snarled.

Joel simply gave him a shit-eating grin. "Maybe if you took the shades off once in a while, you could see better," he said, running a hand up Kandi's arm.

Rude sent his fist flying at Joel's face, then slowly removed his sunglasses, staring down at the slightly shorter man with his piercing brown eyes. "Why are you kissing my girl?" he growled.

Joel rubbed his jaw, having barely stumbled from Rude's punch. "She looked lonely," he said, tilting her chin up with his fingers. "Plus, how can any guy, drunk or sober, resist those lips?"

Rude glanced over at Kandi who was completely beaming at the soon to be male fight over her affections. He smirked, not going to give her the satisfaction. "True," he said, slapping Joel on the shoulder. "They look even better wrapped around my cock."

"Hey!" Kandi said indignantly. Joel laughed and went back to Kai once she returned from the ladies room. Kandi glared at Rude. "That wasn't very nice."

Rude, still without his sunglasses, stared into her eyes. "Neither was coming out here and seeing my girl making out with another guy," he growled.

She grinned sheepishly and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Fine," she told him sweetly. "Next time, I'll make sure it's another girl, all right?"

Rude grinned and put his sunglasses back on. "Yes, Mistress," he replied, silencing her giggles with a kiss.

"We have a winner!" Widdow yelled over the noise, pointing to a very drunk, very unconscious N.C. "She passed out first!"

The entire bar cheered, the opening of the front door going undetected by all save the one who had received the phone call. Tseng nodded to the new guest and cleared his throat, tapping his glass. "Ladies and gentlemen," he began.

"Where?" Sage asked, causing the group to laugh.

"That will do, Sage," the newest arrival said. The entire bar turned to see the President making his way through his Turks, dressed regally as nothing less than a king. He carried in his arms a gown and a crown to match his. "Tell me, Tseng, where is the birthday girl?"

Tseng smiled and went to Magni, taking her hand in his and leading her to Rufus. He bowed slightly. "My lord," he said, succeeding in suppressing a snicker.

Magni stared up at Rufus, her eyes sparkling at the handsome President. Rufus took her hand in his and bowed over it, laying a very gentle kiss to her fingers. "Tonight, my lady," he said, his voice deep and husky. "You shall be my queen."

A collective sigh from the female Turks, Tifa and Yuffie went up, all of them staring dreamily at the blond king. Rufus chuckled and turned to the Turks. "I need two ladies, please," he said.

The females rushed forward, Yuffie even jumping over the bar to try to get to him. Rufus smirked. He chose Ram and Silhouette, handing the first the gown and the latter the crown. "Take my lady and prepare her for me," he ordered. "Assist her in her dress."

He turned back to Magni, kissing her hand again. "I will wait for you," he said with a smile.

Magni had the sudden urge to faint. She had never fainted before in her life, but right now, it sounded pretty damn good. She followed the other two women and quickly got dressed.

The bar had become rowdy again by the time she finished, but quieted down once she appeared. The gown fit her perfect, her crown arranged atop her head. Sil had managed to twist her auburn hair up into a very fetching up do. Rufus looked at her, a smirk covering his face. He leaned down and kissed her lips. "You look beautiful, Magni," he told her softly.

Another sigh from the females and if eye rolls could have been choreographed, the men had succeeded in doing it. Rufus offered his queen his arm, leading her out of the bar and to his waiting white limo. He stopped at the door. "Oh and Tseng," he called back.

"Yes, Sir?"

Rufus arched an elegant eyebrow, his eyes flicking over to Magni. "Don't expect her at work tomorrow," he said. He was answered by an uproar of catcalls and whistles, Magni's head thrown back in laughter as her king escorted her out to his 'carriage'.

She had never had a birthday quite like this one.

* * *

**_A/N: Happy Birthday, Kd Zeal! I love ya, Girl!_**


	43. Turk Day Off: Part III and a Half

_**A/N: I work with a bunch of perverts...meaning YOU GUYS! Some of this makes reference to dantesdarkqueen's fic, 'Evidence of Sephiroth's Humanity'. We have successfully tied our fics together (insert evil laugh...here).**_

**_Disclaimer: I still own nothin' but the bitchin' plot._**

* * *

_The following takes place between the time Magni and Rufus left the bar, and work the following morning..._

The juke box clicked and began blaring a very familiar, very popular song...Buttons, by the Sexy Kitties.

"Oh shit!" Kandi said, downing another shot of tequila and grinning. She cast a glance at Akalara and made her way over to her. "You remember this jam, Girl?"

Akalara laughed. "Oh, hell yeah!" she said, standing up and moving along to the beat with Kandi. "How many times did we strip for Zack and Seph to this?"

"More times than I can count," the other woman answered as they climbed onto the bar counter and began their old routine. She grinned over at Reno. "And how many times was that fucker over there present?"

Akalara flicked her tongue at Reno. "Quite often," she said, unbuttoning her top and slinking it off her shoulders, tossing it to the red-head in question.

"We're missing our third," Kandi pouted. "Too bad Christine didn't join the Turks."

"Yeah, she never got back into dancing with us after having her kid," Akalara commented. "Reno, how is your daughter anyway?"

"She's good," Reno said, tipping back a beer. "Saw her last weekend. She's getting big."

"How old is she now?" Kandi asked, unlacing the front of her corset to reveal a black bra with red skulls and crossbones on it.

Reno tilted his head to get a better look at her bra. "Uh, she's almost eight," he answered. He laughed. "I couldn't deny that girl even if I wanted to. Flame red hair on that one and the temper to match it."

"Shit, just what we need," Rude grumbled. "A female Reno that will eventually get PMS."

Kandi threw her corset at him, successfully covering his face with the black lace garment. "Fuck you, Rude," she snapped.

"Yep, you will," he answered with a smirk, tipping back his beer.

Akalara spotted Niki pouting. "Hey, Catgirl, get your ass up here and dance with us," she called.

Niki brightened and jumped up on the bar with them. "I didn't know Reno had kids," she said softly.

Kandi snorted. "Hell, he's got probably ten of them," she teased.

"Not that many," Akalara said. "Four, tops. Only one is confirmed, though."

"Oh," Niki said, removing her black sequeened tank and throwing it hard at Reno. "He never told me that."

Reno grinned at Niki and winked, causing her to giggle uncontrollably. "I guess it doesn't really matter," she said.

Cloud smirked and held his hand out to Tifa. She sighed and gave him 100 gil. "I told you the costumes would start coming off," he grinned.

"I had hoped they wouldn't," Tifa said, eyeing the white-haired Turk. "Though if the hot dog would shed his costume, I wouldn't mind at all."

"I think Hojo's kinda cute," Yuffie said, crossing her arms and leaning against the bar. Vincent shot her a dangerous look. "EW! No, Vinnie, the fake one! The real one was, like, gag!"

Katrina snickered from her place on Vincent's lap. She gave him a drunken kiss. "I'm so fucking wasted," she said. "Let's find a vacant corner and fuck."

Vincent arched his eyebrow and smirked. "Hmmm, sounds...enticing," he said, raising to his feet and taking her hand. "I have a better idea, though."

Tifa, Cloud and Yuffie watched as their gunslinger allie pulled the red-headed woman after him up the stairs. "Roof," Cloud and Yuffie said together.

Tifa's head snapped over to them. "How do you know?" she asked.

Cloud shrugged. "Vincent always goes to the roof to think," he answered.

"Or masturbate," Yuffie chimed in. Cloud and Tifa glared at her. "What? He does it all the time at W.R.O. headquarters!" They continued glaring. She sighed. "Yes, I sneak up after him and watch; there, I said it. I'm a sick voyeur."

Cloud snickered and went to pour himself a glass of whiskey. Tifa stood next to Yuffie. "I'll give you 500 gil if you tape it next time and give it to me," she said quietly.

Yuffie grinned and shook her hand. "Done and done," she agreed with a nod.

Nilto was performing a belly dance for Randak. It was a good thing they were married, because he had a severe problem keeping his hands off of her as she moved rather skillfully. "You've been practicing," he groaned.

She giggled. "Yeah," she answered. "You like?"

He nodded, swallowing hard. "Let's go home," he said gruffly.

"What, now?" she asked in shock. "I'm having fun!"

"Me too, but I can think of something a lot more fun we could be doing," he growled lowly.

Nilto grinned. "There's some bedrooms upstairs," she whispered, dancing her way over to the staircase. "We could...borrow one."

Randak jumped up and sprinted after her, Nilto giggling the whole way up.

Brit tossed back another beer. "I know what they're doing," she said drunkenly.

"No, shit Sherlock," Torr said, leaning over and resting his head on his arm. He stared up at her. "Hey, Brit?"

"Sup?"

"Can I put my hot dog in your bun?"

Brit snorted and spewed beer out of her nose, laughing hysterically. "That is the most fucked up pick up line I have ever heard!" she gasped. "I have no choice but to say yes. You can put your hot dog in my bun."

"Sweet," Torr said, grabbing her and pulling her to him. "I've wanted to dance like this all night."

Brit couldn't help but laugh. "This is the stupidest costume in the history of...ever," she said. "But I'm glad we did it."

Torr grinned. "Me too," he said, kissing her gently.

Black and Feather were in a corner booth, making out like crazy. He was trying to find his way up under her many layers of petticoat while she giggled hysterically.

Reno had taken Kandi's place on the bar and was dancing with Akalara and Niki, slowly letting the girls remove his clothes. And where was Kandi? Judging by the beads of sweat forming on Rude's bald head as he sat alone at a table, she was under said table putting her big mouth to good use.

Joel had Kai pinned up against the wall, kissing her silly, his hands running through her long, blue hair as she ran her hands up under his shirt and over his chest, moaning loudly into his mouth. Revan had given up on Akalara and was now feeling up Widdow while she downed another shot of tequila and sucked suggestively on a lime. Silhouette was giving Wei a lap dance, removing his Hojo glasses and chucking them across the room, to land on a very passed out N.C. and Nina.

Niki looked around the bar. "Hey," she asked, stilling her hips. "Where are Hot Lips and Ferret Face?"

Akalara balked. "Who?" she asked, flicking a piece of Niki's hair behind her ear.

"Elena and Tseng."

Reno snickered at that, watching as his green-haired lover moved closer to his clinically insane lover. "I'm sure they're entertaining themselves," Akalara said, leaning in closer to Niki and whispering in her ear. Niki blushed adorably, her innocent eyes turning deliciously wicked as she nodded. Akalara smirked and leaned in closer, her lips closing over Niki's in a sensual kiss.

Beads of sweat broke out on Reno's forehead and his jaw dropped. "Holy fuck, that's hot," he groaned, licking his lips.

Akalara broke away from Niki as the other woman stared dreamily up at Reno. "Want to join us?" they asked together.

Reno made an unintelligible sound and nodded, pulling them both against him and kissing first Akalara and then Niki. "Let's blow this joint and go back to my place," he managed to say with a grin.

Niki squealed and Akalara smirked. The three walked out, arm in arm in arm into the cool night.

Tifa eyed her bar, still filled with passed out or...busy, Turks. She sighed. This was going to be a long night.

_Meanwhile..._

The door to the roof of the ShinRa building opened, allowing entrance to ShinRa's King and his Queen for the Night. Magni looked up at the sky in awe, watching as streaks of light dashed across the black abyss.

"A meteor shower!" she exclaimed.

Rufus smiled, his hands clasped behind his back. "I hoped you would like it," he said, moving to stand beside her and looking up toward the heavens. He pointed. "They are centered around the constellation Leviathan. They are remenants of the Meteor Sephiroth summoned three years ago. When the Lifestream and Holy eliminated Meteor, smaller pieces broke off and remained in orbit. They appear every year around the same time."

"Cool," Magni said in awe, watching as the lights streaked across the sky. She looked up at Rufus. "They're not as scary now without the big guy looming over them."

He nodded and chuckled slightly. "Indeed," he replied. "Now, they just provide a pleasant ambiance."

"Okay, Rufus, if I'm going to be hanging out with you tonight, you're going to have to lose the Presidential jargon, got it?"

Rufus looked down at her. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"No fancy words," she said, snaking her arms around his neck. "You don't need to impress me. I'm just a rookie Turk, not some businessman's daughter."

Rufus smiled. "For what it's worth, I'd never share something like this with a businessman's daughter," he said shuddering. "Besides, since my father died, Odin damn his soul, I have not entertained any gold diggers."

"Aw, poor Rufus," she said, poking his nose slightly. "No dates in that long?"

Rufus laughed, wrapping his arms around her waist. "You know, Magni," he told her, brushing his lips against her forehead. "I think I like you."

"Really?" she asked, arching her eyebrow. "You mean, Tseng didn't just pimp you out for my birthday?"

He shook his head. "It was my idea," he told her. "You've caught my eye."

Magni grinned. "You caught mine, too," she confessed.

Rufus tilted her chin up with his fingertips. "Good," he breathed against her lips. His mouth closed over hers. "Happy Birthday, Magni."

* * *

_**A/N: That's the end of Magni's birthday. Sorry, no lemons in this fic. This is 'Operation: ASSASSINATION', not 'Operation: Fornication'. Although, that's a good idea and I may utilize it. MY TITLE!**_


	44. Operation:  FFR Part IX

_**A/N: Round Nine...DING!!! **_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the bitchin' plot.**_

* * *

There was a huge mess in the cafeteria's kitchen that the mice were happily cleaning up. Kali was helping her carry the balloons back to her office where she would load them up into the air conditioning vents and convertly place them at just the right intervals. She also had a nice stash a Barrier materia, the now 'oh-so-very-useful-useless-and-saved-the-Bossman's-life' materia, that she would utilize for this. 

After her last prank on Akalara completely backfired and landed her nemesis turned friend turned threesome partner in the hospital, Niki had been apprehensive of trying something else. But after Akalara had turned her into a man...well, that all changed. Though was still very proud of the size of her dick. The fact remained, Akalara had to pay for giving her a penis. And pecs. And a really rockin' six pack.

Reaching her office, Niki ushered Kali through the doors and locked them, noticing that the package Feather had promised her sat on her partner's desk. She reached in revealing 20 discs, about an inch in diameter. The controller was setting to the side and she picked it up, setting one of the discs on the table. She flicked the switch and a pin shot straight up out of the disc. She smirked. "Kali," she said. "Time to hit the vents, my friend."

* * *

Twenty jumbo sized balloons filled with chocolate pudding were placed about 10 feet apart in the air conditioning vents, pin buttons placed underneath them. On the vents leading to the offices surrounding Akalara's were Barriers, preventing the chocolately goodness from contaminating anyone else but the intended target. Niki's theory was that the force of the Barriers would propel the chocolate through Akalara's vent and cover the green haired woman from head to toe, along with all her paperwork and furniture. Of course, Brit would be in there to, but casualties were an unfortunate part of war. 

Niki set the Barriers on either side of the chocolatey tunnel and sat in the air vents, grinning happily. She waited for Kali to sneak back down in her office and then hit the controller for the pin buttons. Twenty balloons burst in unison and a small roar of a chocolate pudding tidal wave was heard. Niki watched wide eyed as the Barrier she was sitting in front of flickered and died, allowing her to be hit with the force of the pudding. She squealed as she covered in the dessert, scrambling to make her way through the vents. If one Barrier had malfunctioned, had any of the others?

Hearing shouts and screams, her fear was confirmed. She took a deep breath, wiping and eating the mess from her eyes. Now, to find out who had become her unwitting victim.

* * *

Rude took his sunglasses off and flicked them, trying to get the pudding off him. The area where the shades had been was the only part of him not covered in chocolate. Heaving an exaggerated sigh, he continued clicking on his chocolate covered keyboard.

"This is an outrage!" he heard Akalara scream as she stormed out of her office. "I demand justice! I demand retribution! I demand someone give me a 5000 gil shopping spree to replace my damaged wardrobe. I..."

She stopped her tyraid when she looked into Rude's office. He arched an eyebrow at her and continued working. "Oh," she said. "Okay then."

Brit leaned against Rude's door frame and crossed her chocolate covered arms. "This is getting just the slightest bit annoying," she grumbled.

Tseng opened his door and stepped out, chocolate pudding dripping from his hair and onto the floor. He stepped aside and let Rufus out into the hall. The President eyed his normally pristine white suit with a scrutizing eye. "It appears we have a chocolate pudding leak in the air conditioning vents," he said calmly.

The vents in question opened and a very chocolately Niki jumped out onto the floor, running to the first person she found and crushing them in a hug, her tears mixing with the pudding. Tseng grunted as the chocolate covered clinically insane rookie 'glomped' him. "I'm sorry," she said. "The Barrier's broke. I was aiming for Akalara."

"Of course you were," Rude said, coming out of his office and crossing his arms. "We're the Barrier's mastered?"

Niki shook her head, spreading the chocolate all over Tseng's white dress shirt. The vein on the side of the Wutain's head twitched. "No, some were new."

"Those are the one's that failed, then," Rude sighed.

"Holy shit, chocolate covered Rude!"

Rude turned and found himself face to face with a very happy looking Kandi and a very laughing his ass off Reno. Kandi jumped up and began licking the chocolate off of Rude's face and neck. "Oh yum!" she moaned. "This is my new favorite snack!"

Rufus inhaled deeply when he felt a tongue running up his cheek and turned staring at Magni who had a very wicked grin on her face. "I think we need to clean this off of you, Sir," she said with mock innocence. Rufus arched a chocolatey eyebrow and followed his lover to his own office.

Reno stopped laughed long enough to access the situation. "So...all of my girls are covered in chocolate?" he asked in shock, blinking his eyes. "Holy hell. Boss, we're taking the rest of the afternoon off."

"Foursome!" Niki squealed in excitement as she released the now very twitchy Tseng. Once he had control of his arms, Tseng moved, quicker than anyone had ever seen him move, and grabbed Reno's EMR.

"Reno, you will be one short, I'm afraid," he said between clinched teeth as he charged the weapon up.

"Uh..." Reno said, backing away toward his girls. "Why?"

Tseng face broke into the most evil smile any had ever seen and then his gaze drifted to Niki. She let out a small 'eep' as he inched closer to her. "Because I'm going to kill Niki," he said, breaking into a run and chasing the now screaming rookie down the halls.

"Help! He's gonna eat me! He's gonna eat me!" Niki shrieked as she barrelled down the hall, her chocolate covered Converse's squeaking as she turned a corner.

"Tseng, don't zap her, Man!" Reno yelled after him. "Burnt chocolate smells like shit!"

* * *

_**A/N: Sorry this was so long in getting up. I think I need to give my imagination Viagra or something. Review!**_


	45. Mandatory Training

_**A/N: Anyone who has ever worked in an office knows this is a part of it. Besides, I like working with all these guys in a group setting.**_

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but my brain and even that has 'Property of ShinRa' stamped on it. Kinda hurts. No wonder I get migraines._**

* * *

Vincent glared at the Turk rookies and veterans as they made their way into the conference room. The table had been removed and several rows of standard issue ShinRa ass killing chairs had been constructed. Tseng smirked at the gunman and made his way to the front of the room where Vincent was standing. 

"I do not understand why I must be the one to do this training," Vincent hissed. "I believe in the manner that you wish for it to be delivered, Reno would be better suited."

"True, but that would be far too much fun for him," Tseng replied, inspecting his fingernails. "Besides, I believe that you will have better luck at captivating the audience. And not just the females, either. I believe Wei has a sort of school boy crush on you, Valentine."

Vincent, if it was possible, turned a bit paler. "Pity for him Katrina can kick his ass," he growled. "No matter. Let's get this farce over with."

Tseng smirked again. "Attention please," he said, his voice the cool, commanding tone that without fail obtained for him the attention he desired. "As you know, since Meteor fall, the W.R.O. has been the semi-dominant government of our society and as such have imposed certain...requirements of ShinRa. One such requirement is this mandatory training. Welcome to Sexual Harassment."

A collective group groan went up from all the Turks. "C'mon, Bossman," Reno said. "We all sexually harass everyone else. It's expected, it's wanted, it's part of the Turks! Without sexual harassment, we wouldn't be the lethal perverts we all are."

Tseng continued smirking. "True that may be, Reno, we must still conduct this training to appease the W.R.O.," he replied. "However, though the topic must be sexual harassment, Tuesti never provided us any literature to teach from, telling us to compile our own data. So, we have. Valentine has gotten together a rather impressive presentation on the subject. Vincent, if you would."

Vincent glared at his superior. "If I hadn't been sleeping in a coffin for 30 years, I'd be your boss," he snarled.

Tseng sat down next to Elena and unbuttoned his suit jacket. "Yes, well you did and you're not, so there you have it," he answered. "Proceed."

Vincent narrowed his crimson eyes at Tseng, but proceeded nonetheless. "Welcome to Proper Sexual Harassment Techniques 101," he said, his low voice gruffer than usual. "Please follow along with the presentation on the projection screen as I cover the following seven techniques. Please hold your questions and comments, lewd or otherwise, until the end of the presentation."

_Technique One: The Ass Grab_

We will begin with the Sexual Harassment Technique, the Ass Grab. Proper execution of this technique requires both attention to detail and location.

First, select which cheek to grab. Notice that this is the Ass Grab, not the Crack Assault...that comes later in the training. So, either the left or right, depending on your location to the victim. Place your hand against the cheek and grasp your fingers together as if feeling a melon for firmness at the market. If the victim jumps slightly or produces a cry of surprise, the technique was done properly.

_Technique Two: The Reach Across_

This technique can be very easily orchestrated in a conference room setting.

The victim can be on either side of you. Simply find an object that you "need" and reach across the chest of the victim to obtain said item. While reaching, be sure that the portion of your arm from forearm to elbow comes in contact with the fullest part of the victim's chest, causing enough friction to illicit a response (ie, cry of surprise or the hardening of the nippular region).

Either of those responses displays proper execution of technique.

_Different Variation with Male Victim:_

Again, conference setting, without the table. Easier with a partner when the victim is seated between the two of you. Have your partner maintain an item that you "need". Reach across lap of victim to obtain said item, making sure the portion of your arm from the forearm to the elbow comes in contact with the apex between his thighs. A tenting of the pants or sharp intake of breath proves proper execution of technique.

_Technique Three: "I'm Sorry...Was that YOUR Leg?"_

The trick to this technique is the sell. You MUST make the victim believe that you seriously thought their leg was yours. Again, perfect situation is in a conference room setting. Making sure that your leg is uncomfortably close to the victim, reach under the table to give your leg a rub. This should be done no less than two but no more than four times before contact is made with the victim to establish that you are having issues with an itch. Once prepped, reach under the table and rub the leg of the victim. If preparation was done properly, the victim will simply give a weak smile and slide a bit farther away.

**IMPORTANT**: You must sell this move. If you do not do the proper amount of rubbing of your own leg, the victim will know this is harassment. If you sell that you have an itch and the close proximity of the conference setting confused you, along with your now semi-numb limb, this technique **WILL WORK**. Do not falter in your story. **IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.**

_Technique Four: The Shirt Brush_

Again, sell, sell, sell. You must visualize the lint, fuzz, fluff, or food on the shirt of the victim before moving in for removal. This is especially effective after lunch or a break when food has been consumed.

With a movement not too slow nor too fast, gently reach up and brush away the "particle" from the victim's chest, focusing on the fullest part. Smile genuinely as if you saved the victim from servere embarassment from returning to work with "smuck" on their clothing. Again, a weak smile will indicate proper execution.

_For Male Victims:_

**WARNING**: Must be seated for this technique on a male victim. Simply reach down below the belt (in the general vicinity of the male's genitilia) and flick at the "particle" first and then brush gently as it refuses to budge. Male victims tend to enjoy this technique and will either illicit a knowing grin or an invitation for drinks after work from the victim.

_Technique Five: The Crack Assault_

This technique is fairly easy to maneuver in a crowded elevator.

First, when desired floor has been reached, place a hand to the victim's lower back, maintaining contact so you "don't get separated". Slowly and unnoticably, move your hand downward until your middle finger is resting comfortably in the grove between the victim's cheeks.

This technique is easily forgiven and can be blamed on the crowded elevator.

_Technique Six: The Bump_

Relatively easy to execute. Victim is walking towards you down the hall. Distract yourself with looking at papers and vere into them at the last minute, clutching frantically as you try not to get the papers you are holding out of order. While grasping at the papers, you grasp at the victim (female, chest; male, bulge) until desired contact is made.

Brushed aside as dedication to your work and an accident.

_Technique Seven: Cleavage to the Visage (aka, Boobs in the Face)_

Desk with computer ONLY! This will not work unless computer problems are occuring. (Contact IT department on how to insure computer problems will occur.)

Remain standing while the victim sits at his/her desk. Lean in close and over so that breasts are in direct contact with the victim's face, while pointing at the computer screen, maneuvering mouse, etc. Must have basic computer knowledge for this technique to work. If technique is done properly, knowing grin and/or invitation for drinks after work will be issued.

**_Just remember, conviction in your voice means acceptance in their minds._**

Vincent brushed his hair out of his face. "This concludes the mandatory Sexual Harassment training as stipulated by the W.R.O. Immediate implementation of these techniques are required and anyone seen not performing them accurately will receive first a verbal warning. Second offense will be a written reprimand. Third offense will be a hard spanking conducted by either myself or Tseng. Fourth offense will be a harsh fucking. If you have any questions, please direct them to Tseng. Good afternoon." With that, Vincent packed up his presentation and quickly exited the conference room, grabbing Katrina's hand as he left and dragging her with him.

Tseng suddenly found himself bombarded with questions pertaining to the lesson by his entire staff, less two, of very horny Turks.

Damn manditory training.

* * *

_**A/N: (evil grin) I so do love Sexual Harassment. Review please!**_


	46. Mission: Impossipussy

_**A/N: Husband's idea...not mine. He's such a studly genius.**_

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing. Really, nothing. At all. Really. Promise. Swear to Shiva. Nothing. At all._**

* * *

Reno opened his inbox when he got in to work. His alert feature rang and a message popped up on his screen. Curious as to what he had alerted himself to do on this particular day, he clicked the message: 

_Reno:_

_Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get into the lesbian chick's panties. Due to the difficulty of this mission, have a beer first and relax. This message will be deleted as soon as you hit that little 'X' on the top of your screen._

_Reno_

Reno smirked and reached for his mp3 player, shoving the earbuds in his ears and setting the 'Repeat One' feature on the device before selecting a song. The theme to 'Mission: Impossible' assaulted his ears as he rose from his desk, snagging a beer out of the bottom drawer. It was mission time.

* * *

_9:00 am_

Nina walked down the hall toward the break room. She needed coffee and she needed it now, damn it. Tuesday's sucked and it was raining on top of that, so her ability to stay awake was hindered greatly by the rain pattering against her window combined with the tediousness of paperwork. Caffeine was essential to her survival today.

Turning into the lounge, she nodded her head toward her red-headed co-worker. "Sup Reno?" she said, snagging a cup and filling it with cream and sugar.

Reno rose to his feet and stalked toward her. He pressed his chest and hips up against her back and reached around her, grabbing the pot of coffee and pouring it into her cup. "I wouldn't want you to get...burned," he drawled lazily into her ear, his tongue snaking out to tease her earlobe.

Nina casually stirred her coffee and turned around so that they were face to face. "Hey, thanks, Reno," she said with a grin. "That's real nice of you."

Reno ran his hands up and down his arms, leaning in closer to nip at her neck. "Anything for you, _Nina_," he breathed out.

She giggled and kissed his cheek. "You're a darling, Mate," she said, stepping away from him and walking away. She turned back slightly and winked. "You're sexual harassment techniques are coming along quite nicely, though you could still use some work. Keep practicing, Doll." With that, she left.

Reno pouted and stuck his earbuds back in. This was going to be more difficult than previously anticipated.

* * *

_10: 16 am_

Why did she always get hungry around this time? Lunch was still nearly two hours away and her stomach was growling like a Nibel wolf. Nina looked over at Silhouette. "Girl," she said, grabbing her stomach. "I could eat a freakin' chocobo right now."

"I know," Silhouette said. "I'm getting pretty hungry, too. I think there were some donuts in the lounge."

"Hey, you're right!" Nina answered cheerfully. "Wanna come with? I would kill for a donut."

"Someone say 'donuts'?" came a familiar drawl. Reno stepped in holding a box of donuts in front of him, just below waist level. He went to Nina's desk and lifted the box. "Help yourself, _Nina_. Whatever you see in there that you want, just go right ahead and sink those teeth into it."

Nina looked into the box with a scrutinizing gaze. She grinned and picked a powdered sugar covered jelly filled one. "Thanks, Re!" she exclaimed, biting into the treat.

Reno snarled and slammed the lid down, turning to go. "Hey!" Silhouette exclaimed. "What about me? I want one too!"

The red-head hesitated but walked over to Sil's desk and opened the box. Sil looked in and inspected the treats when all of a sudden...she screamed. "Reno!" she yelled, grabbing ahold of his dick and pulling. "You sick pervert! You messed up the donuts!"

Nina chuckled as she licked her fingers and continued working. "Mine was the only one not touching it," she said cheerfully.

Reno snatched the box and his cock back, heading toward the door. This girl was going to be harder than he was...er, thought. Harder than he thought.

* * *

_1:37 pm_

"Nina, I'm heading to the gym," Silhouette said as they walked back from lunch. "I've got some hand to hand training this afternoon with N.C."

"Okay, Babe," Nina said with a grin. "Have fun."

Nina opened the door to their office and stepped in, flicking on the light. She stopped and stared and burst into laughter. There, laying on her desk, completely naked was Reno. He had a bottle of Breshey's chocolate syrup and was pouring it over his chest. "Ready for dessert, _Nina_?" he purred.

Nina crossed her arms and continued laughing. "Reno," she said shaking her head. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to seduce you?" he asked, arching a red eyebrow.

She crossed the floor to her desk and sat beside him. She grabbed his cock. "Lose this," she began. She reached for his balls. "And trade this pair in for a pair of breasts and then we'll talk."

Reno looked up at her dejectedly. "You don't think I'm sexy?" he asked with a pout.

She smirked. "I think you are adorable, but not sexy," she answered. "Sorry, Sweetheart, but you and I have the same tastes. It'd never work, Darling."

"Can't blame a guy for trying," he said, wiping the chocolate off his chest and reaching for his clothes. "Seems such a tragic thing to men everywhere that a hot babe like you ain't at least bi instead of a full-blown lesbian. I weep for our loss."

She handed him another tissue. "For the tears, Doll," she said, patting his head. "I commend your efforts. And for what it's worth, I do find you attractive."

"Really?" he asked excitedly.

"Yeah," she said cheerfully. "I mean, from the back you totally look like a girl."

Reno threw the Breshey's at her and stalked out the door, barely decent.

* * *

_4:49 pm_

Nina found herself slammed against a wall and a mouth pressing into hers, a tongue probing at her lips. She pushed away and glared at the red-head. "Reno, seriously," she spat out, wiping her mouth. "Knock it off. I'm over this shit."

Reno grinned and threw his hands up in defeat. "Fine, fine," he said, draping his arm around her. "How about I take you out for a few beers and we try to score some hot chicks?"

Nina smirked at him and nodded her consent. "That I can do," she said, yanking his hair a bit.

* * *

_6:34 am_

Nina groaned as she rolled over onto her side, the early morning sun glaring at her from the window. Hangovers sucked. Trying to keep the sun out of her eyes, she turned to bury her face in her pillow only to be met with a shoulder. She looked at the owner of the shoulder and growled when she saw long red-hair and smirking green eyes.

"Morning, _Nina_."

* * *

**_A/N: Heh heh...form your own conclusions. But review! Please. (bowing humbly)_**


	47. Kill Reno: Volume I

_**A/N: The last chapter made me happy. Let's continue with this train of thought, shall we?**_

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but this pair of pants...and they're too big._**

**

* * *

**Nina was pissed. Oh she was pissed. She had been violated by a red-headed MALE. Now, had it been the red-headed female...that was all good. But Reno...he had overstepped the bounds of proper sexual harassment etiquette. Drunken fornication with a lesbian was something that got a dude castrated.

Or killed.

Nina grinned. Right now, that sounded pretty damn good.

* * *

Niki ran down the hall, screaming for Reno. "Reno, Reno, Reno, Reno!" she yelled, her Converse's squeaking as she drifted around a corner, running smack dab into Akalara. 

"The hell!" Akalara snarled, pushing Niki off her and getting up to her feet. "Watch it, Niki!"

Niki grabbed Akalara's hand and pulled her with her. "Come on!" she said hysterically. "We gotta get to Reno! Nina's gonna kill him!"

"What?" Akalara asked, desperately trying to keep her footing as her clinically insane colleague dragged her along. "Why is Nina gonna kill Reno?"

Niki took a deep breath. "Becausehegotherdrunkandtrickedherandfuckedherbrainsoutlastnight!" she gasped out as she continued running. Akalara was impressed. The damn girl had some lung power.

"Niki!" Akalara said, pulling her to a stop. "Sweetie, calm down. Now, take a deep breath and speak slowly. Why is Nina going to kill Reno?"

"He fucked her last night," Niki said, eyes wide with fear. "He got her drunk and tricked her."

"Oh..." Akalara began but was cut off by an ear piercing screetch that sounded an awful lot like it came from Reno. "SHIT!"

The green-haired woman grabbed Niki's hand and dragged her along with her toward the sound. They ran into Brit and all three women landed in a pile, Niki's ass sticking straight up in the air, her pleated mini skirt flipped up and showing off her red-moogle print boyshorts.

"What's the big idea?" Brit huffed, pulling herself up.

Akalara grabbed both of their hands and took off running again. "Nina's killing Reno!" she exclaimed. "He got her drunk and fucked her last night."

"Oh hell!" Brit grumbled. "That damn red-headed bastard! You don't fuck with a lesbian!"

They barrelled down the hall until they reached Reno's office, stepping into a scene from a very violent, very gory, very bloody horror movie. There stood Nina, with a very naked Reno draped over his own desk, his EMR shoved up his ass. His proud 10-1/2 inch cock was laying on the desk next to his head. His body twitched a bit as the dying electricity from the EMR finished coursing through his body. And then he was still.

Reno...was dead.

His three lovers screamed in horror. "Nina, how could you?" Akalara asked in shock.

"Oh my fucking gods," Brit whispered.

Niki simply dropped to her knees and sobbed, wailing out Reno's name as she tore at her hair.

Nina turned toward them, her yellow jumpsuit covered in blood and her katana dripping with it. She licked the blood off her lips and gave them a sinister smile. "My vengeance is nearly complete," she snarled, raising her bloody katana. "Now, you three will DIE!"

Niki flung pink bunnies at the blood crazed woman. Akalara sprouted vines out of her hair and tangled them around Nina's legs. Brit pulled a lighter out of her jacket pocket and proceeded to summon Cerberus from the flames. An explosion hit and all went black.

* * *

Reno sat up with a jolt, his hands instantly going to the front of his pants. He breathed a sigh of relief, looking around his office. 'Kill Bill' was a messed up fucking movie, but it had nothing on this dream. His cock was still here! If he was limber enough, he would have bent forward and kissed it. It he was limber enough, he would have done that years ago and given himself a blow job. He ran his fingers through his hair and breathed a sigh of relief. Thank Odin, all was well in the world.

Except...he still had a very pissed off lesbian out to get him. A very pissed off lesbian who as actually in his office. Looking at him. No, glaring at him. At least she didn't have on the gods awful ugly yellow jumpsuit.

Reno leapt from his chair and over his desk, hitting his knees and groveling before her. "I swear to all the gods, I didn't fuck you!" he pleaded. "I just got you wasted and dragged you back to my place and put you in bed with me so you would _think_ I fucked you! I'm not that low, Nina! I don't take advantage of drunken girls! Well...most of the time, but I seriously didn't with you! Please don't unman me!"

Nina kneed him in the shin and knelt down to looked him in the eye. "The next time you attempt something like that on me," she hissed. "I will paint the walls in this office red with your blood. Understand?"

"Completely."

Nina left and Reno fainted in relief.

* * *

_**A/N: Too much...chocolate? That's my only excuse. Review!**_


	48. Turks and Turkey

_**A/N: Eh...why not? Happy Thanksgiving everyone!**_

**_Disclaimer: Yeah, I own it. I own it all. Every last bit of it. And I'm also a silver haired alien with blue tinted skin lovingly dubbed the 'Calamity from the Skies' by the Cetra, spawning a following of fans known as Jenova's Witnesses. Worship me, Puppets._**

* * *

Tseng was having a psychological evaluation done as soon as he recovered from what was going to be one hellacious hangover. 

Why he thought that _this_ would be a good idea was completely beyond him now. Currently, he was sitting at the head of a very long mahogony table covered with a plethera of what appeared to be food-like substances, though that was still questionable. Some of his Turks could cook, Akalara, Elena and Nilto being the foremost on that front. Kandi could...somewhat. However, her contribution to the feast had been an omelet the size of a calzone, filled with five different kinds of cheese, pepperoni and mushrooms.

And that was the lesser of the rest of the evils.

Aside from the traditional Giving of Thanks Feast food that had been graciously provided by the three women who could, in fact, cook dishes that did not involve anything that came out of a chicken, there were other..._things_ littering the table. Let us take a moment to survey the bounty of this feast from the Turk leader's point of view, shall we?

The three chefs of the group had gotten together to prepare a turkey, a ham and stuffing, the basic staples of the feast. Tseng, in all his infinite wisdom had thought that his Turks would be able to all bring one dish to help suppliment the meal. How wrong he had been!

Rude had been in charge of the mashed potatoes. However, skilled as the man may be in skinning the flesh off of a living victim, he could not for the life of him comprehend the peeling of a potato. So, Rude had done what most bachelors do; he bought a box of instant mashed potatoes to bring to the feast. Which is exactly what he did. Tseng was staring at the box now. The idiot had failed to prepare the instant potatoes, not taking the painstaking 10 minutes to nuke them in the mircrowave.

Feather had been in charge of the green bean casserole, one of Tseng's personal favorites. The dish was asthetically pleasing enough; the fried onions resting on the top a golden brown and very tantilizing. So much so that Tseng had snuck a taste of the dish, only to spit it into his hand a second later. It appeared that that pour girl had substituted the eight ounces of cream of mushroom soup for eight ounces of cream of tartar. Tseng had started drinking after that unfortunate incident.

Gravy had been Brit's job. She, as Rude had done, bought the packaged stuff and failed to mix in the appropriate ingredients to form the recognizeable food. So, they had dried gravy mixed to put on their dry instant potato mix.

Nina tried her hand at the candied yams. The flambed candied yams. The flambed candied yams that were still smoldering and looking like orange soot. If one scraped off the black tops of the marshmellows...they would find the black settled all the way through the marshmellows. And into the yams. Oh hell, they were flaming again.

Tseng dumped his glass of water on the yams and chugged down another glass of wine. Water was a waste at this point in time. It's only use being for the extinguishing of the side dish.

Torr and N.C. had brought vegetables. Torr brought a can of corn and N.C. brought a bag of frozen peas. The frozen peas were currently being shot through straws by the Turk Spawn and their trainer in the ways of the clinically insane, Niki-chan. Andria, Axys, Azrael, Kaya and Damian were all running around like the hellions they were, whooping like the Ancients who had begun this feast of thanks. Damn those bastards. To say the children were hyper was an understatement. This increase of adreniline was brought to them by one of the mothers. The one who, though her child was eight years old, she herself was still an infant in parenting years. Yes, the Vending Machine had been dispensing treat upon treat to the eager children, who all now adored her, while the adults loathed her.

Silhouette had tried her hand at rolls. She failed. The 'bread' was sitting in a basket, looking palatable enough, but each weight approximately 16.7 pounds and having the density of a small boulder. They would be excellent projectiles for assassinations, that was for sure.

Kai brought a tub of butter for the rolls. Unfortunately, it would not be put to use since the rolls were rocks.

Black and Widdow had brought some sort of dessert. Tseng couldn't even begin to desern what it was. It looked like a cross between rice cereal bars, red velvet cake and sushi. With frosting. The dessert had actual raw fish in with the frosting.

Pumpkin pies. Simple enough, right? All one really had to do was buy one at the local bakery. Tseng really didn't expect Magni to bake one. Or try to bake one. He would have been happier had she shown up with a can of pumpkin and a frozen pie crust than the...thing that was seeming to be alive and squirming on the table. Oh hell, yes...that _was_ an eyeball.

Wei was in charge of the relish tray. Unfortunately, he didn't quite grasp the meaning of relish tray. One would normally get a variety of different raw vegetables and arrange them on a Lazy Susan with a nice dip selection for guests to snack on before the main event. Wei had bought a variety of different relishes. Hot dog relishes. There was dill, sweet, kosher, et cetera, all arranged on a platter for his friends.

Ram did the deviled eggs. She colored them red and put little horns and pointy tails on them. He doubted they were even hard boiled.

Katrina did the potato salad. She had opened a bag of lettuce and threw some baby red potatoes in with it and covered it with ranch dressing. It was...interesting to say the least. It would have been better had the baby red potatoes not been in her cupboard for six months and were sprouting.

Revan brought a bag of potato chips and some dip. Good enough. At least it was edible.

Sage brought some store bought cookies. Again, good enough. Especially compared to the other monstrosities.

Vincent showed up. That was good enough for Tseng.

Reno, had brought Niki. Who had brought her friends, the stray pack of dogs and two cats that had been with her during her street days. In addition to The Pack, Kandi had brought Axel and Akalara had brought Zexion. Niki's St. Bernard friend was resting it's head on Rude's lap and staring hungrily at the turkey. Tseng would shoot the dog before he let it touch one of the only good things on the table. No...he wouldn't. He would shoot Rude before he shot the dog for letting the dog eat the turkey.

Joel had brought his GS3 and the newest football game out. He had hooked it up to the flatscreen TV in the conference room and was currently playing against Randak for the Materia Bowl.

Tseng picked at the food that was served, some of it good, some of it...not. However, despite the bad judgment of relying on his Turks to cook the food in potluck fashion, he had to admit; having the group of misfits and their spawn and four-legged furry friends all together warmed his heart. He didn't even mind it that Scrappy Jack had leapt onto the table as was chomping away on the cream of tartar green bean casserole, or that Axel had lit the candied yams on fire again. This was his family and inspite of, or because of, their quirks and oddities, he loved them all very much. And he was very thankful for them.

But wait? What had Tseng brought to this feast? Why, the Wutain had brought a case of the finest wine his homeland had to offer.

And he'd drank every last drop.

* * *

_**A/N: I hope you all have a fantastic Thanksgiving and a wonderful time with your families. Remember, blood doesn't bind a family; love does. I love you guys.**_


	49. Operation: FFR Part X

_**A/N: Round ten...DING! And this is going to be a multi-chaptered round. Just warning you. And this chapter is long and has a lot of stuff happening. Again, just warning you. Seriously...over 6,000 words. LONG!**_

**_Disclaimer: This is getting rather redundant. You all know I don't own it, I know I don't own it. But let's face it, if I did...this fic would be one bitchin' game! Playable OC's as well as a 'Create Your Own Turk' feature. Oh yes, I've been dreaming, but alas, lack of funds and knowledge of the Japanese language keeps me limited to the fic. One day, however, the gods at Squeenix will look down upon my little work and say, 'Hey...that chick's got something there. Let's give her a shitload of yen and get this game rolling!' And that will be the day that I find the Promised Land._**

* * *

Kandi glared at her calendar. She hated this day. This day sucked. She had actually contemplated spending the day in bed, wallowing in her own self pity, but she didn't. She got up, showered, got dressed, fixed breakfast for herself and Andria, got the little Turk spawn up, finished fixing breakfast, yelled at Andria to get her little ass out of bed, physically drug her daughter out of bed, threw her into a cold shower, pretended she didn't hear her screams of protest from the cold water, made sure she brushed her hair, fed her, made sure she brushed her teeth and took her to school, all the while listening to her daughter cuss her out before Andria told her she loved her and to have a good day. 

Typical morning at their household.

But the reason Kandi hated this day was probably the same reason Akalara hated this day. And Reno and Rude and Tseng. This was the day they found out about the incident in Nibelheim. The day their world was knocked off it's axis and life was never the same. Nine years ago today, their two friends were taken from them.

That's why Kandi was staring at the bottle of Bailey's in her bottom desk drawer and contemplating adding a teaspoon of coffee to it's contents. After the news of Zack and Seph's deaths, she had lost about four months of her life in the bottom of a bottle. But she had company. Reno was with her. Akalara had taken off to 'grieve the loss of her lover', translated to 'incubate and give birth to Sephiroth's spawn'. It was during this time that Kandi had been formerly introduced to Tseng and Rude by Reno, since two of their normal sextet (literally, sex) were dead, Akalara was gone and Reno had booted Lily out after catching her with Rufus. It was just the two of them left, so they hung out and drank for four months straight. She had no boss to report to and as long as she clocked in at ShinRa, she was still getting paid. She spent the majority of her work day hungover as hell and locked in Zack's office, curled up on his sofa and crying, clutching an old sweater he had left there. It had still bore his scent. When it started fading, she found a bottle of his cologne he had in his desk and sprayed the sweater lightly, trying to cling to him as long as she could. The work day would end and she and Reno would either head to a bar or back to one of their apartments and drink until they passed out. She always woke up in Reno's arms, her own wrapped around him tightly. Although they had been together sexually before, they never were during this time. They just drew comfort from each other, somehow trying to reassure themselves everything would be okay. And it would be eventually. Tseng and Rude had intervened and sobered them up. Kandi got a position in the IT department and was the head of it in less that two days when she proved she knew more than the current supervisor, who was a technological idiot who was more interested in downloading porn off the server and infecting the network with viruses in doing so. Her first day there, Kandi had patched all the viruses, designed an impregnable firewall, installed an anti-virus program that actually shut down websites and emails that held viruses, told the IT supervisor he was a fucking idiot who had no business anywhere near a computer let alone head of IT and to basically fuck himself on a flash drive. When he asked what a flash drive was, she punched him.

The Turks were called in after her violent outburst and Tseng actually smiled and asked her if she wanted to start with the Turk training program after her work hours. She agreed and the current IT supervisor was demoted to janitor and she took his job and pay, installing a retinal scanner on the computer room so that only she could access it. She still hated that guy. He never dusted her credenza.

But we digress in this story...

She joined the Turks and Akalara finally came back after about a year and things started becoming slightly normal again. Rude asked her out on a date and they'd been together ever since. But she still had Zack's sweater. Rising from her desk she moved to her closet and pulled the blue and grey garment out, lifting it to her nose, breathing in deeply, smelling the still lingering scent of him. She bit her lip and hugged the sweater. Nine years and she still missed him. She figured she always would.

Sighing, she placed the sweater back in her closet and sat down at her computer. She opened her email program and clicked the recipient group 'Turk Babes'. To all the female Turks, she sent the following message:

_Nine year anniversary of Zack and Seph's deaths. I need to party and get shitfaced drunk in their memory. I'll get a limo for tonight and drinks are on ShinRa (don't ask; I won't tell you how I did it). RSVP if you're in. The night starts at seven and ends when we pass out._

_Kandi_

Clicking send, she rose from her seat and headed to the IT room. She didn't need a retinal scanner here. She trusted everyone. Besides, the stupid janitor knew if he stepped foot inside her domain, she'd kick his ass or shoot him one. She already had clearance from Tseng and Rufus to do so. Kandi sat down at the main server terminal and accessed the limo schedule. She reserved one and a driver until tomorrow morning at ten o'clock. That should be enough time. As far as work was concerned, she really didn't care. She had come to realize that Esuna cured a hangover hella fast. Besides, tomorrow was Saturday.

Whipping out her cell phone, she checked her watch and dialed Andria's number, knowing she was in gym class and pretending to be sick in the locker room.

"Hey Mom!"

"Hey Spawn," she said with a grin. Andria laughed at that. "How's school going?"

"Great," she said. "Coach thinks I'm maturing too fast. Told him I had cramps today."

"Andria, you're eight years old!" Kandi laughed. "You can't have cramps yet."

"I told him the Mako I inherited from my biological mother who was actually a male and a SOLDIER First Class was enhancing my biological make up and that I had actually predicted myself to start puberty in approximately seven months and three days," Andria explained. "He's such a simple minded muscle head, he scratched his balls and told me to rest in the locker room."

Kandi couldn't stop laughing. "Have I told you how much I love you, Kiddo?" she asked. "You are such a spaztard."

"So are you. Guess that's where I get it, huh?" she giggled.

"Guess so," she said. "Anyway, listen. I don't know if you knew it or not, but today is the day we found out Daddy and Seph were gone."

Andria was quiet. "Yeah, I knew," she answered. "Figured that was why you were so weird this morning."

"I'm sorry, Baby," she said gently.

"It's okay, Mom," she said. "I mean, I've come to figure you out over the past month or so. No worries."

"Cool," Kandi answered. "So, do you want to spend the night with Marlene? I'm going out with some friends."

Andria squealed. "Oh totally!" she exclaimed. "Axys is going to be there anyway. Is it a girls' night out or something? Is Aunt Ak gonna send Az over to stay with Denz?"

"She might," she answered. "More than likely."

"Cool!" she said. "Good thing there's no school tomorrow."

"Just don't kill Tifa and Cloud, okay?" Kandi said with a grin.

"As if," Andria snorted and Kandi could see her rolling her eyes.

"Okay, well, I'll stop by the bar and bring you some clothes and stuff, okay?" she said.

"Sounds good," she said. "I'll call Teef and make sure it's okay. See you tonight, Mom. Love ya!"

"Love you, too, Kiddo."

Kandi closed her phone and smiled. How did she live without this kid for so long?

* * *

Fourteen affirmative emails rested in her inbox. Good thing she reserved the stretch Hummer. Damn, that was a lot of chicks! She was actually surprised Nilto had agreed to come, but she had said that her kids were already spending the night with Marlene and Denzel and that Randak was too involved in his stupid paintball course he was building on top of the ShinRa building to do anything. She needed a night out with her girlfriends. Well, she was gonna get it. All of the Turk Babes were in on this. 

Kandi sent out another massive email to the group.

_Okay, seems like everyone is up for getting shitfaced drunk. Bitchin'. So, get off work at five and go home and get dressed. Be here by seven. Those of us with kids, I spoke to Tifa and she is all excited about a night with the spawn. Excellent to have such a motherly, sweet friend. Must remember to do something nice for her for Christmas. Which is in, like, three weeks. Anyway, see ya at seven. Dress accordingly. Meaning hotly. Nilto, we won't let you go home with a strange guy. We'll make sure he's nice looking._

_Kandi_

Hitting send, she smiled rising from her desk once more and heading to Tseng's office, closing the door behind her. The Wutain looked up and gave her a small smile. "Kandi," he said, inclining his head slightly. "You are dealing well with today."

"Planned a girl's night out," she said nonchalantly, holding out her hand. "I need the company credit card, please. To buy drinks for everyone."

Tseng arched an eyebrow and leaned back in his chair, amused smile covering his lips. "And why should I do that?" he asked.

Kandi smirked and withdrew a 1 gig flash drive from her pocket. "Because I have footage of you masturbating in the men's shower last Thursday at 11:36 a.m. after your sparring session with Vincent," she said. "I also have footage of Vincent masturbating after his sparring session with you from several months back. Do you know how much money I could get selling these items as a set? However, for all intents and purposes, they are simply blackmail material to get what I want and or need. And right now, I need the company credit card, lest you wish to see your rather nice body broadcast throughout the entire building on each of the flatscreens in all the hallways that are set to ENN. You were rather vocal when you came," she continued, watching the blush creep up her boss' face. "Elena would appreciate you screaming her name out like that for all the company to hear."

Tseng took out his wallet and thrust the credit card at her. "You are too much," he chuckled, holding his hand out for the flash drive. "Give it here."

She smirked again, pocketing the flash drive. "Now, that wasn't part of the bargain, was it?" she purred. Kandi gave him a dazzeling smile as she left. "Thanks, Bossman!"

Tseng groaned and shook his head. That little Amazon _was_ too much sometimes.

* * *

"I'll be right back," she told the driver holding the door opened as she stepped out of the stretch Hummer stopped in front of Seventh Heaven. She slung a backpack over her shoulder, carrying Andria's clothes, toothbrush, pajamas, GSP and laptop. She walked into the bar which was already filling and waved at Tifa. 

"Thanks for watching the kids on such short notice," the Turk said, giving the brunette a hug.

Tifa laughed. "No problem," she said sweetly. "They pretty much stay in their rooms anyway and just do what kids do."

Kandi bent the fingers back of a drunk grabbing her ass, smirking as they snapped. "Well, I'll have my cell phone if you need me," she said, not paying attention to the screaming man beside her. "And Andria knows she can call me at anytime. I don't care when she goes to bed, but if she gets to be too much, just tell her to shut her yap and go to sleep."

"Nice, Mom," Andria said, coming up behind her and hugging her. "Shut my yap, huh?"

"You talk too much sometimes," she said, bending over to kiss her forehead. She stepped back and spun. "How do I look?"

Andria looked her up and down, tapping her chin. "Hot," she said. "I like the leather pants and the corset thing. Those fishnet gloves rock. Very Goth."

"That's the plan," she answered with a grin. She handed Andria her backpack and hugged her. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Be good."

"You too," Andria said, hugging her mom back. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Kandi rolled her eyes. "Right," she said with a laugh. "Love you, Spawn."

"Love ya, Mom," she grinned.

* * *

The driver looked at the list Kandi had handed him. Fifteen female Turks in his vehicle and he was too make sure they all were in the limo before he left the club, otherwise the instigator of this night (Kandi) would, and he quotes, "Castrate him, stick his dick on a broom stick and rape him with it and then gut him." This was going to be a long night. 

He stopped in front of the ShinRa Building and got out of the limo, opening the door so Kandi could climb out and greet her friends. The driver gawked when he saw the other female Turks coming out of the ShinRa Building. Tight pants, tight tops, short skirts and high heels except for one pair of Converse high tops. This was going to be a long night indeed.

Kandi placed a leather cuffed hand on a cocked leather clad hip. "Who's ready to party?" she asked.

"Fuck yeah!" came the collective response as the females piled into the Hummer. The driver took a deep breath when a short skirt flipped up and revealed a silky thong. Oh boy. Very, very long night.

He climbed back into his position in the driver's seat and wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Where to ladies?" he asked hoarsely.

"Poison," Kandi answered instantly. "The new club on Nineth."

"That's a hard place to get in to," Feather told her. "I know some people who have tried and were rejected."

Kandi smirked. "Won't be a problem," she said.

"How do you know?" Brit asked. "I really don't feel like being booted out of a club before I even get there."

"I said it won't be a fucking problem, now trust me," Kandi hissed, pushing the button for the sunroof and opening it up. She stood up and breathed in the cold night air. She reached in and grabbed Akalara's hand, pulling her up with her. "I miss them still."

Akalara nodded and put her arm around Kandi. "Me too," she said, resting her head on the other woman's shoulder. She breathed in. "You're wearing Zack's cologne."

Kandi laughed. "Yeah, I am," she said, resting her head on Akalara's head. "It gets less painful every year, but it still hurts."

"I know," the green-haired woman answered. "It's unfair, but most things in life are."

"Bitter much?" Kandi teased.

"You know it."

The limo came to a stop at a red light and a car full of guys stopped beside them, their windows rolling down and whoops coming out from them. "Oh my gods, I will give you 100 gil if you kiss her!" a blond yelled.

Kandi winked at Akalara. "Give me the money," she said, holding her hand out.

The blond dug frantically in his wallet and produced the 100 gil, handing it to the red-streaked woman. Kandi stuck it down the front of her corset and took Akalara's face in her hands, kissing her cheek briefly.

"Oh come on!" the guys protested.

"You didn't say where, Assfuck!" Kandi laughed as the light turned green and the limo took off again. The car of guys followed them. Akalara and Kandi ducked back inside, laughing their heads off. "Easiest fucking 100 gil I ever made!"

"You really should split that with me," Akalara teased.

"Nope, I did all the kissing," she said.

"Okay, what?" Nina asked with interest.

"Never mind!" Kandi laughed.

"We're here!" Niki squealed, looking out the window, her backside in the air, boyshorts proudly displayed under her pleated mini skirt.

"Wicked sweet," Katrina said, adjusting her thigh high leather boots. "I am so ready to get shitfaced."

"Aren't you already?" Kandi sniggered, plopping down on her sista's lap.

"Get off me," Katrina said, pushing her playfully. "You know I don't swing that way. Even if you are fucking hot."

"Ah, I never knew you cared, Trina," Kandi grinned batting her thickly mascared lashes.

"You two are idiots," Ram stated with a smile. "I don't even know why I associate with you."

"You have no choice; you're an Amazon," Katrina stated. "We stick together."

"Fuck yeah," Kandi said hugging them both. "Now, let's show these girls how we party."

Katrina grinned. "Full out?"

Ram smirked. "Amazon style?"

Kandi produced an orb of materia. "I got the fire materia," she stated. "Let's find some ho's, kick some ass, fuck some guys and drink til we pass out."

The three women whooped in a very scary fashion and tumbled out of the limo. Feather looked at the rest fearfully. "Why do we need fire materia?" she asked weakly.

Brit scrambled from her seat with a grin. "I don't know, but I aim to find out!" she laughed, pulling Akalara with her. "Come on, Green Bitch!"

Niki bounded out of the limo next, yanking Feather with her. "Hooray! Pretty lights!" she laughed, jumping up and down, her skirt bouncing up and showing off her boyshorts again.

The rest piled out of the limo as well and the line to the club stared at the fifteen women warily. Kandi started toward the entrance grinning at the bouncers. "Hey guys!" she said, giving each of them a hug. She gestured to the female Turks. "These are my friends I was telling you about. Ladies, this is Jeremy and Drexwan."

The Turks said their hellos as did the bouncers. Jeremy stepped aside and let them through the door. "Go on in, my goddess," he said with a smile. "You and your friends are most welcome."

Drexwan eyed the ladies up and down. "Mmm!" he grunted. "Most welcome!"

"Thanks guys!" she said waving at them.

"The fuck!" screamed one of the blonde Barbie clones in line. "They just got here and we were here first!"

"Uh, yeah," said one of her clone friends. "And we are, like, so much hotter."

Sil stepped forward and punched one of their noses. She smirked. "Not anymore," she giggled and she followed the rest of her friends inside to the shrieks of protest from the Barbie's.

"You know the bouncers?" Nilto asked Kandi as they were surrounded by pulsating music and flashing lights.

"Yeah," she said, moving to the bar first thing. "They used to be bouncers at the Honeybee when I worked there. Good friends of mine."

"Sweet ass!" Magni exclaimed. She grabbed Nina by the hand. "Let's dance, Girl!"

"These girls I'm with," Kandi said to the bartender. "Get 'em anything they want at anytime and put it on this."

The bartender took the credit card. "Turks?" he asked with a grin, swiping the card. The confirmation came back instantly. "You got it, Babe. Whatcha wanna start with?"

"Tequilla and keep 'em coming," she and Akalara said at the same time. Kandi grinned at her and Akalara grinned back. The bartender handed them their drinks and they turned to each other, lifting their glasses.

"To Zack," Kandi said

"And Seph," Akalara added.

"Asses like theirs will never again be seen."

"Fuck no," Akalara laughed clicking their glasses together. They drank the shots down straight, sucking on a lime wedge afterwards.

"Holy hell, that shit's good!" Kandi exclaimed, listening as the DJ switched to some pop shit. "Ah hell! I thought they played good music here! Not this bubble gum shit! I don't wanna listen to some prepubescent girl shrieking about how she can't find a man to please her!"

Widdow smirked and nodded her head. "On it," she said, saunteering over to the DJ. She tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, Sweetie, listen up. See that group of girls over there by the bar?"

The DJ nodded, grinning as he looked Widdow up and down, taking in the tight red leather she was covered in, her strapless dress hitting her mid thigh. "Yeah," he answered. "Friends of yours, Doll?"

"And co-workers," she said seductively. "We're Turks. And we don't like this type of music. Give us something hardcore. The softest shit you're allowed to play is Ephemeral, got it?"

"For hot Turk babes, I'll give you anything," he growled, flicking his pierced tongue at her. "Besides, this shit is only for a little while. We got a live band coming up in about 30 minutes."

"Really?" she asked with a smile. "Who?"

"Katrina, slow down," Feather protested. "You've already drank an entire bottle by yourself and we've only been here five minutes!"

"The purpose of this evening is to get shitfaced drunk and fornicate with lots of hot guys and I'm going to do just that!" she exclaimed.

"What about Vincent?" Kandi snickered. "Won't he be upset if you come home smelling like some other dude's spunk?"

"Ah, the vampire can suck my neck any old time," she said with a grin. "I told him I was going out with some friends and told him to do the same. It's free pass night and I'm on the prowl for Coq and Dik."

The bubble gum song stopped midway with a scratch and Ephemeral came blaring through the speakers. "Sweet ass!" Ram exclaimed, turning to see Widdow coming back toward them excitedly. "Good job, Wid!"

"Oh my gods, you guys!" Widdow exclaimed, grabbing Ram's hand. "Okay, so the DJ said that he would play whatever the hell we wanted and then he told me that there was going to be a live band here in about 30 minutes!"

"Who?" Kai asked as she downed a shot.

"Organization XIII!"

"Oh my gods!" N.C. shrieked jumping up and down like a fangirl on a sugar/caffiene high. "Oh my gods! Oh my gods! Oh my gods! I LOVE THEM!"

"I've heard of them," Kandi said nonchalantly. "They're pretty good."

"They sound familiar," Akalara added. "I'm sure if I hear their songs I'll recognize them."

"They've been around awhile," Elena told them, sucking on a lime wedge. "They just made it big. They used to open for Ephemeral, a long time ago."

"Cool, must be good then," Nilto said, sipping on a bottle of Sam Adams.

Kandi felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around. "Hey," said a blond.

A very familiar blond.

The one who was at the stop light.

Uh oh.

"Hey," she said back with a grin. "You again?"

The blond grinned, running a hand through his mohawk/mullet thing. "You owe me 100 gil or a kiss to the green-haired girl," he said playfully.

"Oh my gods," N.C. whispered pointing to him. "You're Demyx!"

The blond smiled and took N.C.'s hand, kissing it suavely. "Yep," he answered with that ever present smile. "What's your name?"

"N.C."

"A pleasure," he said smoothly. He gestured over his shoulder. "These are the guys. Zexion, Roxas and Axel."

"Organization XIII is talking to us," Widdow giggled. "Oh my gods."

"I have a dog named Axel," Kandi said with a grin, pointing to the red head. "He's not as cute as you though."

Akalara arched an eyebrow. "And I have a dog named Zexion," she said, staring at the silver/lavender haired emo looking guy. She looked over at Kandi. "They opened for Ephemeral."

"Sephiroth loved Ephemeral," Kandi grinned, following her friend's train of thought.

"Seph named the puppies..."

"After Organization XIII!" Kandi concluded as the two women laughed.

Demyx scratched his head. "Am I...missing something?" he asked.

"There was a Roxas and a Demyx, too," Akalara said, ignoring the blond.

"Who's Xemnas and Saix?" Kandi asked Demyx.

"They're our managers."

"Luxord, Lexaeus and Xaldin?"

"Bouncers."

"Marluxia,Vexen and Xigbar?"

"Sound crew."

"Larxene?"

Axel cringed. "Demented bitch groupie," he shuddered. "And Marluxia's girlfriend."

"That is hilarious," Kandi said with a grin. She reached into her corset and took out the 100 gil, handing it to Demyx. "Okay, you can have it back."

Demyx took it and stuffed it back down her corset. "Nah, it was worth it just to get to put it back in there," he said with a laugh. "So...you guys gonna stick around for the show?"

"As long as you play something we can dance to," Kandi said with a grin.

"No problem there!" Roxas said with a smile, his bright blue eyes lighting up his face. Nilto wanted to pinch his cheeks, he was so cute.

"So, who plays what?" Katrina asked, eyeing her fellow red-head. She pointed to him. "You're hot."

Axel eyed her up and down. "So are you," he whistled, sliding over to her. He held his hands out at his side, flaming drumsticks spinning and materializing in his hands. "I'm the drummer."

"I'm guitar and lead vocals," Demyx stated. "Zexion is bass and back up vocals and Roxy is keyboard/piano and back up vocals, too."

"Bitchin'," Kai said, eyeing Zexion. She loved emo hair. It was hot. "Can't wait to see you in action."

Zexion looked up at her, a slow smile spreading over his lips. "Likewise," he said lowly. He slapped Demyx's shoulder. "Come on, we need to get ready, Dem. You guys be here afterwards?"

"Yep," Kandi said, leaning back on the bar and smirking at Demyx. "We will be."

"Sweet," he said, turning to follow his bandmates. "Where's Axel?"

Roxas laughed and pointed. "Works fast, huh?"

The girls stared with Roxas and Demyx, watching as Katrina and Axel were making out like crazy. "No," Ram laughed. "That's just how Trina does it."

Demyx grabbed Axel's hair and pulled him off the other red head. "Show?" he said, gesturing to the stage.

Axel gestured to Katrina. "Hot babe?"

"Later."

"Fine," Axel grumbled, giving Katrina another kiss. "Dance for me."

Katrina smirked. "Beat it for me," she purred.

Axel growled and kissed her again. Demyx pulled him bodily from her. "Dude, I think I'm in love!" Axel yelled as he was dragged away by Demyx and Roxas.

Katrina grabbed another shot and downed it, grinning like and idiot. "This is fun."

"Slut," Kandi teased.

"Whore," Trina shot back.

"Bitch."

"Tramp."

"Sista."

Trina smirked and nodded, tipping her glass to Kandi. "Forever."

* * *

"They can take care of themselves, Dudes," Reno drawled out from his place in the corner table. They were hidden in shadows, unseen by any of the clubs patrons. But they could see all they needed. 

Rude adjusted the bandana over his head, hiding his bald scalp from the flashing lights. "Right, and we're just here to make sure that no one takes advantage of them," he answered lowly.

"Besides," Joel added, sipping his beer. "We get to watch them dance."

"I thought the point of a girls night out was to leave the guys behind," Vincent said, arching his brow. He was uncomfortable in club clothes, but had allowed Reno to pick them for him. "They will not be happy when they find out we are here."

"Well, they ain't gonna find out," Revan stated.

"Right," Torr said. "I really don't want to get my ass beat."

"Don't know," Sage said with a smirk. "Might be fun, all of them on ya at once."

Wei grinned and sipped his sake. "I agree."

"I'm just here to make sure my wife don't get groped by some asshole," Randak snarled.

"Or my sister," Black added, downing a shot.

"Or my girlfriend," Tseng stated. "Besides, you all are getting your drinks paid for by accompanying me on this...mission."

"Are we getting paid, too?" Joel asked with a smirk. "I mean, technically, we are on the clock, right?"

Tseng arched an eyebrow in amusement. "No, but I commend your efforts," he chuckled.

"Ah, at least the music'll be good," Reno said, stretching his long legs out. "Organization XIII is a cool band."

* * *

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" came an announcer's voice. "GIVE IT UP...FOR ORGANIZATION XIII!" 

Screams and cheers came up from the crowd as the band took the stage.

"I LOVE YOU, DEMYX!" N.C. screamed, tears pouring from her eyes.

The Amazon's laughed at her, Kandi holding her stomach as she wiped tears from her own eyes.

Demyx grinned out at the weeping woman. "I love you, too, N.C.," he said, causing screams to come up again and N.C. to collapse on the floor with a massive nosebleed. Demyx paled. "Shit," he said, tossing her a handkerchief. "Don't die or anything, okay?"

N.C. punched a couple of girls to get the handkerchief and nodded at him. "I won't," she said holding the cloth to her nose.

"Okay!" Demyx said grinning to the crowd. "You guys ready to party?!"

Screams again from their legions of fans.

"Hey, we got some new friends out there, bunch of hot girls who the DJ told us were Turks," he said, grinning at the women. "So don't get in their way, cos me and the guys wanna watch them dance. You piss 'em off, you might find yourself in the hospital."

The female Turks shouted their approval and the other fans cleared away from them, leaving them front and center in front of Organization XIII.

"So, this first song is for our Turk Babes cos we wanna make ya move!" Demyx grinned back at his bandmates. Roxas shook his head and smiled, Zexion rolled his visable eye and grinned and Axel laughed, firing up (literally) his drumsticks and counting out a beat and the song started, Demyx's raspy voice chanting out the lyrics.

_I hold on so nervously  
To me and my drink  
I wish it was cooling me  
But so far, has not been good  
It's been shitty  
And I feel awkward, as I should  
This club has to be  
The most pretentious thing  
Since I thought you and me  
Well I am imagining  
A dark lit place  
Or your place or my place_

_Well, I'm not paralyzed  
But, I seem to be struck by you  
I want to make you move  
Because you're standing still  
If your body matches  
What your eyes can do  
You'll probably move right through  
Me on my way to you_

The girls were dancing, all of them. And they could move. All of them. It wasn't a prerequisite of a Turk, but it helped if they could dance. You never knew when an undercover mission called for it.

_I hold out for one more drink  
Before I think  
I'm looking too desperately  
But so far has not been fun  
I should just stay home  
If one thing really means one  
This club will hopefully  
Be closed in three weeks  
That would be cool with me  
Well I'm still imagining  
A dark lit place  
Or your place or my place_

Roxas got Demyx's attention and pointed to Nilto who was bellydancing expertly. Demyx's lips turned up in a grin as they played an instrumental. "Hey!" he said, getting her attention. Nilto looked up at him and he held his hand out, pulling her up on stage. Demyx started singing directly toward her as she smiled and continued her bellydancing.

Joel had to pull Randak down and hold him still. "You move again, I'll set Wei on your lap," he snarled. "They can't see us. She's just dancing, Man. That's all."

"But she's my wife," he growled.

"Yeah, and look how many guys think your girl is hot," Joel told him. "Consider it a compliment and just enjoy it."

_Well, I'm not paralyzed  
But, I seem to be struck by you  
I want to make you move  
Because you're standing still  
If your body matches  
What your eyes can do  
You'll probably move right through  
Me on my way to you_

Demyx held his hand out to N.C. and pulled her up beside him, grabbing the microphone in one hand and slinging his guitar around his back, sliding another hand around her waist and pulling her back against him, the music stopping except for Zexion's bass and Axel's drums. Demyx danced with N.C., her body pulled flush against his as he continued to sing.

_Well, I'm not paralyzed  
But, I seem to be struck by you  
I want to make you move  
Because you're standing still  
If your body matches  
What your eyes can do  
You'll probably move right through  
Me on my way to you_

Demyx released her and slung his guitar around, placing the mic back in the stand, making his guitar screetch out a killer note.

_I'm not paralyzed  
But, I seem to be struck by you  
I want to make you move  
Because you're standing still  
If your body matches  
What your eyes can do  
You'll probably move right through  
Me on my way to you_

_You'll probably move right through  
Me on my way to you_

_You'll probably move right through  
Me on my way to you_

The crowd went wild as they finished the song. Demyx took Nilto's hand and kissed it, helping her back down to the floor. He kissed N.C. on the cheek and whispered in her ear. "After our set, you owe me another dance," he said with a smile.

N.C. giggled and nodded, allowing herself to be set back down on the floor.

Organization XIII played about ten more songs before they finished their set. They turned their instruments over to their sound crew and hopped down on the floor, joining their new Turk friends. Axel went right to Katrina and picked up where they had left off.

Tseng stopped Vincent from reacting with a raised hand. "No," he snarled. "Remain where you are. Are you exclusive?"

Vincent growled. "No."

"Then you have no right to interfer," the Wutain stated. "The only one's who do are Randak, Rude, Sage and myself. Reno can't even do anything since his girls are...well, his _girls_."

Reno smirked. "Why would they?" he asked. "They have me to come home to."

"Or me," said Revan with an evil smile.

"And me," Torr added.

Reno crossed his arms and grumbled. His ears perked up when he heard 'Buttons' by the Sexy Kitties come on. He grinned. "Boys," he said, eyeing the two girls he'd known the longest. "Get ready for a treat. Anniversary night and this song plays? Show time."

Kandi and Akalara started their routine, still fresh in their minds even after all these years. Seconds into the song, the area around the two women cleared. Kandi strutted over to a table and kicked a chair to Akalara, sliding one over for herself. They then proceeded to put the Sexy Kitties to shame as they performed the routine with a decidedly sexier feel. A former Honeybee girl and a former topless dancer held the entire crowd at Poison captivated, a path clearing as the song ended and they strutted over to the bar.

Cheers went up and another song started, the dance floor filling swiftly. Kandi lifted her glass to Akalara as they sat, watching their friends and new friends dancing. "Good night?" the red-streaked woman asked.

Her green-haired counterpart nodded. "Good night," she said, clicking their glasses together. "Let's do it again next year."

* * *

At four in the morning, the women crashed in either Kandi's apartment or the other Amazon's penthouse upstairs. As the night had progressed, the three Amazon's had shown them what it mean to party like an Amazon. A fight had broken out when the Barbie's were finally permitted into the club at around midnight, trying to whore their way into Organization XIII's arms. Considering Trina had lain claim to Axel, she didn't take too kindly to some peroxide blonde, silicone based tramp trying to take her man of the night. So, she punched her. Feather had been making out with Roxas and Kai with Zexion when the Barbie clones struck. N.C. was dancing with Demyx when one cut in on her. All hell broke loose. Female Turks were taking shots of liquor while throwing punches at the Barbie clones. Once the carnage had settled, none of the Turk women were scratched. Niki had lost one of her shoelaces in her hair, but that was it. Kandi took a chair a broke it, whipping out her fire materia. Axel had smirked and had her put it away, summoning his flaming drumsticks and setting the kindling on fire himself. More chairs were added and cheap booze was sacrificed to the fire, sending flames into the rafters. The Amazons stripped the Barbie clones of their clothes, discovering their breasts were totally fake and stuffed of all things. Their bras went up instantly, made of nothing but silicone inserts. The sprinkler system activated and the fire was extinguished, the Amazons and their friends, new and current, dancing around in the smoking rain to the beat of the music.

Until they were kicked out.

Numbers were exchanged between the members of Organization XIII and the Turk Babes they had hit it off with and the night ended.

Akalara found herself in Kandi's apartment, drunk off her ass and slumped against an unconcious Niki. Brit had ended up in Andria's room on the top bunk and Widdow and Nina were scrunched up on the fullsize fouton of the bottom bunk. Kandi was in her room with Nilto, both women out cold. Akalara listened as Niki murmured something about Reno in her sleep, her cranberry red eyes narrowing in jealousy.

Nine years ago, Akalara lost the love of her life. Now, she was fighting for Reno with Niki and Brit. Brit didn't bother her as much as Niki since her partner had Torr as well. But Niki was full out after Reno. Akalara couldn't have that. In her drunken mind, she devised a plan, giggling to herself as she stumbled through her friend's apartment to her home office, snatching a black Sharpie from the desk and heading back to the living room. Niki's shirt was riding up, leaving the small of her back exposed. Akalara snorted, covering her mouth as she uncapped the Sharpie and began writing the incriminating evidence of Niki's 'betrayal' of Reno on her back. He would _hate_ Niki for this. And then, he would be all hers. Reading her handy work, Akalara capped the Sharpie and passed out.

The words scrawled across Niki's back?

_Razor Worthington hit this._

* * *

**_A/N: OMG, long journey just to get to that last little bit! Hope you all liked the set up. And the band Organization XIII! Oh, and the song they sang is 'Paralyzer' by Finger Eleven. Those four in a band is just cream worthy. REVIEW and stay tuned for the rest of this huge edition of Operation: FFR!_**


	50. Operation: FFR Part X2

_**A/N: Morning after...and this isn't nearly as long as the previous chapter. But there is A LOT of cursing. A lot.**_

**_Disclaimer: I offer this dialogue for the disclaimer:_**

**_Me: Squall, is anything regarding Final Fantasy mine in any way, shape, form or fashion?_**

**_Squall: (snort) Whatever._**

* * *

Niki rolled over and squealed as she fell off the couch and landed and the floor, nearly missing Kandi's glass coffee table. 

"Mornin' Sunshine!"

Niki moaned and covered her eyes with the closest thing she could pull to her, which happened to be Akalara's foot. "Let go of my leg, Nutjob," Akalara teased, pulling her limb back. Kandi leaned over the edge of her couch, grinning at the two girls. She held up an orb of materia.

"Esuna, anyone?"

"Oh gods, yes," Niki moaned. "My head feels like its about to explode."

Kandi cast the spell on both girls, laughing as they sighed with relief. "If you guys are hungry, I'm making breakfast," she told them.

"Hooray! Breakfast!" Niki exclaimed, jumping to her feet. She flinched as her cell phone rang. Reaching to the waist band of her skirt she grabbed it, squealing in delight as the name flashed on the screen. "Hey Reno!"

Akalara rolled her eyes and went to the kitchen with Kandi to get some coffee. "Is it weird that I like her but I hate her?" the green-haired woman asked.

Kandi grinned. "With you," she said beating some eggs in a bowl. "Nothing is weird."

Niki bounded into the kitchen. "Sorry, can't stay for breakfast," she said, beaming. "Reno'll be here any minute. He's taking me Christmas shopping today!"

Akalara gripped her coffee cup harder as she raised it to her lips.

"Okay," Kandi said, kicking her green-haired friend slightly. "You better get me something kick ass."

Niki nodded and giggled as Kandi's front door opened and Reno stepped in. None of the Turks bothered knocking on her door. They just used the retinal scanner and came on in. That was the way Kandi liked it. But one of her favorite things to do, was torture a red-head.

"Reno, what the hell?" she shrieked. "I have a housefull of girls over and you just walk in? What if we were all still naked from the massive girl orgy we had last night?"

Reno gripped the back of the couch to steady himself, his other hand grabbing his heart. "Massive girl orgy?!" he choked out. "And I wasn't invited to serve as voyeur? I'm crushed! You better have fucking footage of this, Vending Machine!"

Kandi smirked. "Sorry, I was too busy eating out your girlfriends," she said. "By the way, they say I'm better at it then you are."

"Fucking bitch," he growled moving into the kitchen. He kissed Niki on the lips in greeting and then turned to Akalara, nuzzling her neck before kissing her as well. "How are my girls this morning? Where's Brit?"

"Still out," Kandi answered. "So are Nina and Wid. Randak picked Nilto up earlier."

Niki started dancing, pushing her thighs together. "I'll be right back," she squealed, running down the hall to the bathroom. Kandi and Akalara laughed at her.

The green-haired woman set her coffee cup down and gave Reno a searing kiss. "You better get me something nice for Christmas," she purred. "Or I'm going to take back what I got you."

Reno smirked. "What'd you get me?" he asked.

Akalara whispered something into his ear that made the red-head's face turn as bright as his hair. "Fuck," he groaned. "I'm getting you something _real_ nice."

"Good," she said, turning to her friend. "Can I borrow your shower?"

Kandi nodded. "Sure," she answered. "Towels are in the cabinet above the toliet. Help yourself."

Akalara kissed Reno again and headed into Kandi's room to the master bath. Once the door had closed, Kandi turned and hugged Reno. "Did I ever thank you for being there for me nine years ago?" she asked, running her fingers through his hair.

Reno smiled and squeezed her tightly. "You didn't have to," he told her softly, rubbing his nose against hers. "I needed you as much as you needed me. I needed to be there with you."

Kandi kissed his cheek sweetly. "I love you, Reno," she said. "Not romantically or anything, but I absolutely love you."

The red-head grinned and kissed her forehead. "Yeah, I know," he replied. "For the record, I love you, too."

"Okay, so for the record," she said, turning back around to finish cooking breakfast. Reno wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on her shoulder. "Which one of the three babes are you going to pick in the end?"

"Ah, don't make me pick," he said with a grin. "I need all three of them."

"Reno, realistically, you know you can't do that to them or yourself," she told him, chopping some mushrooms and sauteing them in a skillet. "It's all fun right now, but one of these days, they're going to get tired of you stringing them along. Hell, two outta three already have other guys. And I know for a fact that Revan is head over hills in love with the Green Bitch."

Reno was taken aback by this. "For real, yo?" he asked. "I knew he was into her...I just didn't know he was _that_ into her. Does she return it?"

Kandi sighed, and shook her head. "She trusts him," she said softly. "That's a hard thing for Ak to do, you know? Her feelings for him are pretty solid. No one will ever replace Seph in her heart, though. Not even you, Re. And you know that."

"I know, I know," he said, squeezing her tighter. "Damn it, I hate you sometimes. When did you become the voice of reason?"

Kandi tilted her head back and grinned at him. "I've always been bitchin' wise, ReRe," she smirked. "I just never displayed it on such a level before."

"Don't call me ReRe," he glowered.

"At least I didn't call you ReRe-chan like I normally do," she snickered before kissing his chin. She popped some food into his mouth over her shoulder then elbowed him softly in the ribs. "Better back up before one of your girls comes in and thinks somethings going on. I really do not want to be caught in the crossfires of Operation: FFR."

"'Operation: FFR'?" he asked, releasing her and hopping up on the counter. "What the hell is that?"

"'Fight For Reno'," she answered. "It's what me, Trina and Ram call this little feud for your attentions."

"Clever."

"I know, right?" she said, hopping up next to him with an omelet on a plate. "I think I'll put it in my memoirs when I retire."

Reno opened his mouth when she held a fork full of food to it. "That's good," he said, chewing the bite of omelet. "That's damn good."

Kandi linked her right foot with his left and swung them back and forth playfully. "Reno?" she began, batting her eyelashes playfully. "Do you know what Rude is getting me for Christmas?"

Reno laughed. "You little brat!" he said, poking her nose. "Butter me up with food and then drop the bomb. No, I don't know what he's getting you. I know what he _got_ you."

"Whoa, wait," she exclaimed. "He already got it?"

"Yep."

"Well, what is it?"

Reno hopped down from the counter and stepped between her legs, resting his hands on her thighs. "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you, and then Rude's present will be wasted. And it's pretty expensive."

"Kandi!"

Kandi about dropped her plate at the sound of her name being shrieked. Niki walked into the kitchen in nothing but her skirt and bra, glaring at her red-streaked friend.

"What's up, Niki-chan?" she asked, taking another bite of her breakfast.

Niki was twisting around, trying to look at something behind her. "There is something on my back," she said, turning around like a puppy chasing it's tell. "I can't see what it is and I couldn't make it out in the mirror." She spun around and showed both Kandi and Reno. "What is it?"

The shattering of Kandi's plate echoed throughout the kitchen. "Oh Shiva," Kandi whispered, looking at Reno as he too read the words scrawled across Niki's lower back. Instinctively, Kandi wrapped her legs around Reno to prevent him from going bat shit. "Niki, how drunk were you last night?"

"Pretty drunk," she giggled. "Why? What is it?"

Reno's jaw worked as he traced the lettering across Niki's skin. "'Razor Worthington hit this'," he read softly.

Niki gasped. "What?!" she shrieked.

"You _fucked_ Razor?!" he yelled at her as Kandi tightened her grip around him with her legs, grasping the edge of the counter for better purchase. Reno was pulling at her viciously, trying to get closer to Niki who had smartly stepped away. "You actually fucked that worthless piece of shit? You couldn't find someone better to fuck around on me with? It _had_ to be him?!"

Kandi gritted her teeth, pulling the red-head back to her so she could wrap her arms around him as well. "Reno, calm down," she said against his ear. "Chill out, okay?"

"Not fucking okay!" he yelled. "Don't you remember all the shit you guys went through because of that dickweed and then he ends up fucking my girl?! I hate that godsdamn motherfucker!"

"I know," she said trying to soothe him. "Just...let's be rational about this, okay?" She looked up at Niki. "Did you, Niki?"

Niki was crying by this point. "I didn't..." she said shaking her head, her loosened hair swinging around her tear streaked face. "At least...I don't think I did."

"You don't think you did?!" Reno bellowed, causing Kandi to tighten her grip again. "How the fuck can you not know, Niki? Did you fuck a sleazy looking fucker or not?"

"I don't...I can't remember!" she cried out.

Reno finally broke away from the hold Kandi had on him. He glared down at Niki, hurt and anger clear on his face. "You betrayed me in the worst possible way you could," he snarled. "I can't...I can't look at you the same anymore. I can't be with you knowing that you've been with _him_."

Niki gasped, tears beginning anew. "Reno, no," she said, grasping at his shirt as he stalked toward the door. "No! I don't know if I did! And if I did, I didn't mean to!"

"The evidence is on your back, SweetCheeks," Reno growled, throwing the door opened. "Which is where you were while you were FUCKING HIM!"

Kandi's door slammed and Reno was gone, a broken, crying Niki collapsing to the floor, clutching her shirt to her chest. Kandi walked over to her slowly, wincing at the condemning words written across her back. Kneeling down, she took the sobbing girl in her arms, trying to comfort her. The door to Kandi's bedroom opened and Akalara stepped out wearing Kandi's robe and toweling her hair.

"What happened?" she asked, going over to them. She stopped when she saw the writing on Niki's back. "Oh gods," she whispered, backing away. She remembered doing that, but she didn't remember writing his name! "Oh my gods!"

"Shut up!" Niki shrieked, clutching her shirt tighter. "I don't know what happened!"

"Oh gods, oh gods," Akalara said, sitting down on the couch and burying her hands in her hair. "Oh gods! Did Reno see it yet?"

Kandi nodded. "He just stormed out," she said, kissing the top of Niki's head.

"Fuck!" Akalara exclaimed. She flopped her arms down on the sofa, her hand hitting the Sharpie she had used the night before. She looked at it and flung it across the room, hitting the opposite wall. "Gods damn it!"

Kandi glared at her as she watched the Sharpie flying through the air. "_You_ did this?!" she exclaimed. "After everything that bastard has ever done to us, you wrote his name on Niki's back?"

"I didn't realize I was writing Razor's name," Akalara said, pulling at her hair. "I was too drunk."

Niki lept to her feet and attacked the green-haired woman. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" she shrieked. "Why are you so jealous of me? Why?! I love Reno and you just ruined any chances I ever had with him!"

Akalara fended off the attack and dumped the younger woman unceremoniously to the ground. "I love him, too!" she snarled. "And no one takes something that I love away from me."

Niki jumped back up and started pulling her shirt back on. "Guess the smear tactic didn't work with Jenova, did it?" Niki snapped back. "When she took Sephiroth from you."

Akalara's fist connected with Niki's jaw at that and Niki hit the floor. "You godsdamn bitch," Akalara seethed, blinking back angry and hurt tears. She didn't cry. She had to remind herself she did not cry. "Don't you dare talk about him like that."

"Listening to a headless, alien freak was better than a lifetime with you," Niki hissed, pulling herself to her feet. "And Reno will soon see that you are so not worth the time he has invested in you, you godsdamn fucking whore."

Niki turned and left the apartment, slamming the door as she left. Kandi rounded on Akalara. "How could you do that?" she yelled. "How?! After all he did, knowing how much Reno, Zack and Seph hated the guy, how could you do that? He groped Lily, he taped you and Seph having sex, he tried to fucking _rape_ me! Why would you bring him back like that?!"

"I didn't know I was writing his name," Akalara said calmly. "Like I said, I was too drunk to think coherently."

"Yet you were sober enough to come up with this ingenious plan to get Reno to hate Niki," Kandi scoffed. "Well, it fucking worked."

Akalara wrapped her arms around her stomach and sat back down on the couch. Burying her face in her hands, she allowed a few of the tears caused when Niki had mentioned Sephiroth to fall, quickly wiping them away before she brought her face back up. "I'll make it right," she said softly. "I'll tell Reno what I did and hopefully he'll forgive me. I know it hurt him as much as it hurt Niki."

Kandi's face softened. Even though her green-haired friend tried to hide it, she knew she had been crying. "That'd be good," she nodded. She pulled the other woman into a hug. "And I'm gonna get Niki for saying that shit about Seph," she whispered. "He was my godsdamned friend, too, and I don't take lightly to people talking shit about my friends."

Akalara nodded and broke away from her embrace. "I'm going to get dressed and get Az," she said heading back to Kandi's room.

"Ak."

Cranberry red eyes turned to the friend she'd had the longest. Kandi crossed her arms and flicked her eyes around before setting on Akalara's. "Don't you think this _thing_ has gone on long enough?" she asked.

Akalara merely shrugged and went to get her clothes. Kandi sighed and flopped down on the couch. She had a bad feeling that things were just getting started.

* * *

**_A/N: A fist fight! HOORAY! And the massive girl orgy was inspired by maniacm1990's fic 'Cue Rebounds'. Razor Worthington is a total skeeze. To read more about him, visit dantesdarkqueen's fic, 'Evidence of Sephiroth's Humanity' and I believe it is after chapter 80. Total skeeze and long time rival of Reno's. Check it out and, as always...REVIEW!_**


	51. Operation: FFR Part X3

_**A/N: The angst continues...And from now on, Christmas will be referred to as Yuletide. So, yeah...**_

**_Disclaimer: It's mine! All mine! I will keep it and cherish it forever! (turns, revealing Sephiroth chibi plushie) What? Oh! You thought I was talking about the creative and legal property of Square Enix? NO! That, sadly, is not mine. But, I shall inherit it someday. (takes out black box wrapped in caution tape) Mother says I will._**

* * *

Niki was cold. She was cold on the outside and the inside. Last night, she hadn't bothered bringing a coat, knowing they would be going straight from the ShinRa Building to the limo to the club to Kandi's place. She hadn't needed one. But right now, the clinically insane little rookie wished she had even just a hoodie, or Fezzik her St. Bernard friend to cuddle up with. 

Or Reno's arms around her to fight off the chill.

Warm tears chilled almost instantly against her skin as they began anew, leaving icy trails down her cheeks. Rubbing her arms viciously, she kept walking, trying to get back to her apartment before she completely broke down on the sidewalk. But her noble plan was destroyed when she saw a happy couple walking towards her, the man's arm wrapped tightly around the woman's shoulders before his head dipped to plant a sweet kiss to her lips. Niki's knees hit the lightly snow dusted concrete hard, her face buried in her hands as she cried. She scrambled across the cold ground to lean back against a brick building, her tears coming full force and her little body trembling in the harsh weather. No one paid her much attention, most just passing by without casting her a second glance. A few kind hearted souls tossed a few gil at her feet, as if she were a homeless girl in need of a bit of charity. Drawing her knees up to her chest, Niki curled herself into the tightest ball she could, just willing herself to die.

If Reno didn't want her anymore, she didn't want to live. It was that simple. Her heart belonged to the red-head and if he rejected her and turned from her, she would simply give up and die.

Niki didn't know how long she lay there, curled up into herself, but her entire body was numb. Snow clung to her Converses and knee socks. She wrapped her arms around herself tighter, her teeth chattering violently. There was about 15 gil scattered around her from various charitable people, but she paid it no mind. Burying her face further in her arms, Niki shivered, only to be moments later wrapped up in something soft and deliciously warm and smelling so incredibly male and familiar that she nearly shrieked with joy. Opening her eyes, she stared up into mysterious blue eyes surrounded by shoulder length blond hair.

"You okay, Niki-chan?"

Niki sniffled and began crying again, allowing herself to be wrapped further up in Revan's coat and then his arms. "Come on," he said gently, pulling her to her feet. "Let's get you somewhere warm."

Niki nodded and gathered up the gil that had been scattered beside her, snuggling against her friend. They passed a bell ringer and Niki dropped the gil into the bucket. The people who had given it to her wanted it to go to the homeless. She was just helping it along it's way.

Revan pulled her into a building and instantly Niki was hit with the orgasmic smell of coffee and chocolate. She breathed in deeply as Revan escorted her over to a sofa and pushed her down gently. "Stay right here," he said with a grin. "I'll get you something to drink. You hungry?"

Niki nodded and Revan smiled. "Don't move," he ordered.

The little rookie obeyed, curling her legs up under her and burying herself in Revan's coat. She watched him as he ordered, his hands buried in the pockets of his hoodie. At least he wouldn't freeze since he had given her his coat. He was a nice guy. Really cool. What he saw in that green-haired bitch was beyond her. Maybe she'd get lucky and he'd chop Akalara up into sushi. Though she doubted it.

Revan handed her a steaming cup of white chocolate mocha and a chocolate chip muffin before sitting beside her with his own cup of coffee. He put his arm around her and she snuggled closer against him, relishing in the warmth of the coffee and of him. "Thanks," she said softly. "Most people don't get me coffee."

Reven smirked. "It's decaf," he said. "You're normally hyper enough as it is."

Niki giggled and began eating her muffin. "Guess so," she said with a small smile.

Revan flicked her nose and she squealed a little bit. He pulled her closer. "Wanna tell me what you were doing on the street wearing hardly anything and crying your pretty little eyes out?" he asked taking a drink of his coffee.

Niki bit her lip. "Reno's mad at me," she whispered. "But it's not my fault! Akalara set me up!"

Revan winced. Akalara's obsession with Reno was really starting to get to him. He absolutely loved the green-haired Turk, but he knew that he wasn't the only man in her life. And that hurt. "What happened?" he asked.

Niki sat up and lifted her shirt to show him her lower back. "She wrote that on me last night after we passed out at Kandi's," she sniffled. "Reno came by this morning to take me Yuletide shopping and saw it. I didn't know what it was when I was showing him and Kandi."

Revan read it, taking a deep breath. "That dude's a loser," he said. "Rude was telling me about him. He's still in the military and he used to be a SOLDIER Second Class. He and Reno hated each other. The fucker was always torturing him."

"I know," Niki said softly. "I didn't sleep with him, Revan. The only guy I've ever been with is Reno. Well, unless you count those missions where I fucked 'em then killed 'em. Reno was my first."

Revan's eyes widened at that. "Huh, really?" he asked. He allowed the clinically insane rookie to snuggle into him again, still munching on her muffin. "So, Ak did that?"

"Yeah," she answered. "I know you like her, Rev, but she's a real bitch."

Revan chuckled and kissed the top of Niki's head. "I know," he replied. "But that's one of the many things I love about her. I'm sorry that you and Reno got hurt, though. I just don't understand why she would use Razor's name. I mean, according to Rude, the asshole tortured her, too. Back when she was with Sephiroth."

Niki snorted. "She said she was too drunk to realize what she was writing," she told him.

Revan cocked his head. "That could be," he said. "You ever been drunk enough that you know you are doing something, but you don't know what it is?"

Niki was quiet for a minute. "Doesn't make it right," she grumbled.

"No," he said. "But I have faith in Ak. She'll make things right again. You'll see."

"Why do you like her?" Niki asked in exasperation. "You are such a nice guy; you deserve a good girl. One that won't play you and then sleep with another guy."

Revan smiled down at her. "I could ask you the same thing about Reno," he countered. Niki opened her mouth to say it was different, but quickly shut it. The sushi enthusiast laughed. "You can't help who you fall in love with, Niki-chan," he told her. "There's no way to explain why I like her other than I just do. Okay?"

"Fine," she grumbled. "I still think she's a bitch."

"And you're still clinically insane," he said. "It's what makes each of you uniquely you."

Niki stuffed the rest of her muffin in her mouth and chewed with a pout, something very few people could do. Revan laughed at her. "Quit sulking," he said poking her nose. "It doesn't become you at all."

Niki continued to pout and Revan sighed with a roll of his eyes. "Come on," he said, reaching his hand out and pulling her to her feet. "I'll take you home."

Niki grinned and took his hand, linking their fingers together. "Thanks, Revan," she said, planting a kiss to his cheek. "You're a great friend."

He gave her a genuine smile. "Anytime, Kiddo," he said.

* * *

Reno opened the door to his apartment, cigarette dangling from his fingers. "Hey Ak," he said with a smirk to his green-haired lover. "What's up?" 

"I need to talk to you," she said, rushing inside the apartment. She stopped when she saw a pink and black backpack on the couch. "You got Axys this weekend?"

"Yeah," he said. "We went Yuletide shopping. Niki was supposed to go with, but..."

"That's what I needed to talk to you about," she interrupted. She shrugged out of her coat and sat on the couch. "Reno, I'm sorry. I was the one who wrote that on Niki's back. She didn't sleep with Razor."

Reno took a calming drag off his cigarette, flicking the ashes in a glass ash tray on the coffee table. "Why did you do that?" he asked quietly enough to unnerve Akalara.

The green-haired woman buried her hands in her hair. "I was messed up," she explained. "That's no excuse, I know that. But it was anniversary night. I kept thinking how I lost Sephiroth and then this _girl_ was trying to take you from me. I couldn't bare the thought of losing you, too, Reno. So, I thought I could discredit her to you. I was just going to write some obscure name. I didn't mean to write Razor's."

Reno sat back beside her, throwing his arms over the back of the couch. "Why the hell would you do that?" he asked harshly.

"I really did not mean to," she replied, glancing over at him. "I know you don't believe me..."

"No, I don't."

"Reno," she said with a sigh. "Look, I'm sorry. It was my fault. Niki didn't sleep with Razor. I just thought you'd want to know that. What more can I do?"

Reno tossed her his cell phone. "Call her," he snarled. "Call her and say you're sorry."

Akalara gritted her teeth but flipped the cell phone opened anyway. "Just hit number 2," he said. "I've got her on speed dial."

The green-haired woman did as she was told. Reno reached for the phone and put it on speaker so he could hear as well.

_"Reno?!"_

"No," Akalara said, clearing her throat. "It's Akalara."

A low growling noise could be heard over the phone and Reno laughed. "I'm here, too, Doll," he told Niki sweetly. "Akalara told me what happened."

_"So you know I didn't sleep with him?"_ Niki asked, her voice so full of hope it made Reno's heart melt.

"Yeah, she told me, Babe," he answered. He flicked Akalara's ear. "Ak's got something she wants to say."

_"What?"_

Akalara swallowed her pride. She hated being wrong. She loathed it. But when she was, she always owned up to it. That was the type of person she was. "I...I justed want to apologize, Niki," she said, forcing her voice to be strong. "I honestly did not mean to write Razor's name on your back. I was trying to make one up and with all I had to drink last night and it being anniversary night, I guess my mind was gone. I really am sorry that I did this...to both of you."

Reno took another drag off his cigarette. "Okay, Niki?" he asked.

There was silence on the other end of the line. _"That was mean, you know,"_ she told them softly. _"I'd never sleep around on Reno."_

"No, you wouldn't, Niki-chan," Reno told her softly. "You're too innocent for that."

Akalara closed her eyes and stood up, the pain in her heart almost crippling. "I'll see you around, Reno," she whispered, grabbing her coat.

"Niki, Babe, I'll talk to you later, okay?" Reno said hurriedly. "I've got Axys right now."

_"Okay! Bye Reno!"_

Reno closed his cell phone and jumped to his feet, grabbing Akalara in his arms and kissing her fiercely. Akalara stiffened in shock but then relaxed into the familiar feel of Reno's arms around her, his mouth against hers. When they finally broke the kiss, she stared up at him in question. The red-head merely smirked. "I'm proud of you, Ak," he told her, brushing his fingers through her hair. "That took guts, you know?"

Akalara nodded. "So, everything's okay?" she asked.

Reno kissed her again. "Yeah, Babe," he answered. "Everything's cool."

Akalara smiled and nodded again. "Okay," she said with relief. "Okay."

* * *

Sunday came and went with no drama and nothing noteworthy. Which was a relief considering how bizarre and draining Saturday had been. Monday morning came all too soon, with it's bleak weather and promise of snow. Edge was dreary in the winter time; not so much as Midgar had been with it's massive pollution. But still, the cold steel backdrop did little to put people in the Yuletide spirit. Though, the snow would do wonders when it would fall, brightening up the otherwise gray city. 

Akalara saunteered into the IT room, knowing her long time friend would be there first thing in the morning. She tossed something from one hand to the next, eager to get the information on it.

"Morning Kandi," the green-haired woman said cheerfully.

Kandi looked up from ripping the guts out of a tower and grinned. "I'm assuming that the talk with Reno went well?" she asked.

"Yeah," Akalara said with a sigh, sitting down beside her friend. "All's forgiven. I even apologized to Niki."

Kandi arched an eyebrow at that. "Wow," she said. "Good job. I'm impressed, Ak. You've never apologized to me for anything."

"That's because I've never done anything to warrant apologizing for," she smirked. "Count yourself fortunate that you are my friend."

"I do everyday," she said, clicking something into place. "Ha! There you go, you little motherboard fucker. Who's your Mama?"

"What did you do?" Akalara asked.

"Hard drive was about to crash," she answered. "I stored all the data on a back up disk and replaced it. Now, I'll just re-network it and upload the data and it'll be good as new."

"Well, while that's doing that," Akalara said, handing over the object she'd been fiddling with to Kandi. "Would you like to break into that for me?"

Kandi took it. "Nice cell phone," she said, opening it up. "Whose is it?"

"Revan's," Akalara said with a grin. "I swiped it. I figure I might find some information as to what he got me for Yuletide."

"You sneaky little brilliant bitch!" she exclaimed, pushing a few buttons. "Why didn't I think of that? I'm getting Rude's, then!"

Akalara laughed as she hit the speaker phone option and listen to Revan's voicemails.

_**You Have Two New Messages**_

_**Message One:  
**Revan, this is Shiva Chocolatiers. Your order for a two pound box of gourmet chocolates is ready for pick up. Thank you for your order._

Kandi arched an eyebrow. "You're getting chocolates at least," she said. "Premium stuff, that."

Akalara smirked and continued listening.

_**Message Two:  
**Hey Revan! It's Niki!_

Akalara's face turned bright red with rage.

_I just wanted to thank you so much for Saturday. You are absolutely amazing. No wonder Akalara likes you so much. But I still think you could do so much better than her. Just being with you made me feel so much better about the situation with Reno. Anyway, hope we can get together again. Talk to you later! Bye!_

Kandi's mouth was hanging wide opened. "Holy shit," she whispered. She looked at her friend. "Okay, don't jump to conclusions. Remember, this is what happened with Reno and..."

Akalara let out a shriek the likes of which Kandi had never heard. The green-haired woman closed the cell phone and hurled it against the wall, smashing it into tiny pieces.

Kandi let out a distressed cry. "Oh gods! That was a bitchin' cell phone!" she exclaimed. She shook herself and turned back to Akalara, grabbing her shoulders. "Be calm, Ak. It's probably not what you think."

"Oh, you mean Niki isn't sleeping with my other man?" Akalara hissed. "She's already got Reno wrapped around her little finger now she's after Revan, too? And by the sounds of things, she fucked him this weekend!"

"Okay, I admit, it does sound bad," Kandi said. "But, don't you think you should ask Rev about it first? I don't think he would ever cheat on you, Ak."

"He has every right to," Akalara mumbled. "I've been putting off having a real relationship with him because of Reno."

Kandi blinked. "Ookay," she said. "Just talk to him first, okay?"

"No," Akalara hissed, cranberry red eyes flashing dangerously. "No. Niki is going down for this!"

Kandi watched as Akalara stormed out of the IT room. Sighing, she went and picked up the pieces of Revan's cell phone, examining them thoughtfully. "Maybe I can fix this," she said to herself, switching off the light and heading to the lower levels of the ShinRa Building where all the vehicles and mechanical equipment was kept. This would require some soddering.

The elevator opened and she stepped into the chilly garage, the smell of oil and grease prevalent. She saw a pair of legs sticking out from underneath one of the Turk recon cars, a '67 StingRay, jet black. Kandi kicked the boots and heard a curse come up as Joel rolled out from under the car. His face broke into a smile when he saw her.

"Hey, Vending Machine," he said. "What's up?"

Kandi held up the pieces of the cell phone. "I need to use the soddering tool," she said. "See if I can fix this beautiful broken piece of technology."

Joel stood up and looked at the phone with her. "Damn," he whistled. "What you do to your phone, Babe?"

"It's not mine," she said as he lead her over to a work table and rummaged around until he found the soddering tool. "It's Revan's. And I don't think the cell phone company covers acts of jealous lovers, so I'm gonna try to fix it for him."

"Jealous lovers, huh?" he asked, sitting across from her. "Akalara? What would she be jealous of? Revan's a one woman kinda guy."

"There was a questionable voice mail on this," Kandi answered as she set to work. "From Niki."

Joel's eyes widened. "Niki?" he asked. "Okay, that don't add up. Niki's obsessed with Reno."

"I know, right?" she said. "I told Ak not to over react, but you know how she is, especially when it comes to her guys."

"Damn," he said, scratching the back of his neck. "That's fucked up."

"I know," she said, closing the back cover of the phone and hitting the power button. The cell phone chimed as it powered up and Kandi smirked. "Good as new."

"You're too damn good," he grinned. He gestured to the StingRay. "Think you can help me with something?"

"Oh, I don't do mechanical things," she said. "Just computer stuff."

"It _is_ computer stuff," he said, taking her hand and leading her over. "It's an computer controlled firing mechanism. I installed the guns under the chasis, but they are useless unless the programming is set up."

Kandi was already in the passenger's seat stripping wirings and installing them into the glove compartment where the keyboard and monitor for the computer was set up. "This won't work well if it's not a partnered mission," she said, splicing a few wires. "I'll connect it up to the hands free system in the car and make it voice activated as well."

"You can do that?" Joel asked, sitting down in the driver's seat and watching her work.

Kandi nodded, getting up on her knees and feeling around in the top of the car for the microphone. "Sure," she said. "It's fairly simple."

Joel turned his head and grinned at her breasts in his face. "If you say so," he replied.

"Quit staring at my breasts and turn the car on, you asstard," she laughed.

Joel rolled his eyes and fired the car up, grinning as the car growled. "Okay, Babe."

Kandi typed a few commands into the keyboard. "Check this shit out," she smirked. "Activate weapons."

The guns came out from underneath the vehicle, awaiting further instruction. "Rotate right weapon 45 degrees east."

The gun did as it was instructed.

"Cool!" Joel exclaimed. "You really are good."

"You did a good job installing them," she said. "Deactivate weapons." The weapons went back under the StingRay. "Just make sure everyone knows to say 'deactivate weapons' when they are finished. Otherwise, if you say fire, they'll fire. Got it?"

Joel grabbed her chin and kissed her lips. "Got it," he smirked.

She shoved him playfully. "Quit that or Rude is gonna kick your ass," she told him with a grin.

"I was sexually harassing you!" he said in defence. "I was doing my job!"

Kandi laughed and made her way out of the garage with Revan's cell in her hand. She sobbered as she reached the office floors again. She really just wished that this shit would all go away. But with Akalara's reaction, she doubted it would. And things were not going to end well.

* * *

**_A/N: The StingRay thing was something my husband had been wanting to do for a while. I know it's kinda out there, but it's fun. Anyway, so Revan is totally cool and sweet, isn't he? HOORAY for Sushi Boy! And I was proud of Ak for apologizing and owning up to her mistake. Good girl! Oh, but now we have another problem. See, this is what happens when you are sneaky, Children. Bad things. Bad, bad things. Review!_**


	52. SelfAssigned Mission

**_A/N: Small break from Operation: FFR. I'm pissed and I need to kill something._**

**_Disclaimer: Not mine._**

* * *

He was in the business of torture. It took a lot to disturb him. Several things had made him cock an eyebrow in amusement and make a mental note to utilize the method in his procedures; but nothing had ever caused his gut to wrench in pure unadultered hatred and loathing as that which he was witnessing now in the small village. 

An eight-year old boy had been caught stealing a loaf of bread from a local merchant. The authorites had been called and punishment was required and demanded since he had been caught red-handed. From the looks of the child, he was an orphan living on the streets. His clothes were tattered and dirty, his tear-streaked face filthy. A man, more than three times his size had the child laying on his belly on the ground, his left arm propped up by a stack of cloth, a vehicle slowly pulling up to him. The punishment for this child for his theft was to have his arm crushed by the car, rendering it completely useless for the rest of his life.

Black eyes watched from his vantage point. He wasn't even supposed to be here. This was an unscheduled stop for him on his way back to Edge. But as he watched the crowd gathering to watch the punishment of the young boy, he knew there was a reason for his presence here. He remained stationary, watching the scene playout as if it were a movie. The boy was brave, despite the situation and his age. This method of punishment was customary for this village and his eyes showed that he had known the risks. But when hunger gnaws at you, risks of punishment are drowned out by the fierce growling of your own belly.

The man was now holding the child in place and calling out to the driver to move forward. The boy didn't even flinch. But then the tire made contact with his arm, and small white teeth clenched in pain and the sickening sound of bones crushing could be heard. Losing a bit of his bravery, the boy let out a cry of agony, so heartwrenching that watching black eyes narrowed as a stomach churned. The voyeur could feel the hairs on the back of his neck prickling, his blood starting a slow boil into rage. Knowing interference could cost the boy his life, he remained silent, vowing to his conscience, what little he had left, that action would be taken.

Soon.

Once the tire had rolled completely off the boy's arm, he was removed from the ground and sat down on the side of the street. His injuries were not tended to and he was warned that next time, his hand would be chopped off. With no further entertainment to view, the village people began milling back around and going back to their own business, leaving the boy injured and broken on the ground.

No healing spell, no potion, no nothing. The child clutched his broken arm, sobbing to himself, never noticing the black haired man approaching him. He felt a warmth spread over him and gave a choked cry when he felt the bones in his arm heal and restore themselves and the pain cutting through him disappear. Looking up, he watched as a man in a black suit turned from him and walked away, his long black hair shining in the sunlight.

* * *

The man who drove the car was the first to die. Delicate yet skilled hands snapped bones with efficient ease before peeling the skin away from muscle and fishing the broken bones out. The pieces of skelton that were extracted were used to stab into the ear canals of both hearing orafices. Castration was next, the phallus placed upon a metal rod and rammed into the anus of the man. He finally found death at the end of a razor blade as it was dragged across his throat, slowly; the blackness taking him finally. 

The one who had held him down was next. The voyeur had stripped him and tied him in a standing position against the wall. He then took the still bloody razor blade from his last victim and cut a small gash in the man's thigh, in his groin area. He then sat back and watched as he slowly bled to death, each minute wrenching his life's blood from him, his anguished filled eyes revealing that he could feel the life leaving his body.

"Your village's traditions of punishment are antiquated at best," the voyeur said, examining his nails. Sharp eyes glared into his victim's. "My home of Wutai doesn't even practice such torture anymore."

The man couldn't answer since his assailant had severed his vocal cords so his screams would not draw anyone in. "Though I must admit, using a piece of technology such as a vehicle added a modern twist to an old concept," he continued. "Still, such practices on a child are disturbing to say the least. I watched, knowing that traditions are traditions. But I could not let it go unanswered. I'm a bit of a traditionalist myself. An eye for an eye and all that."

He stood, adjusting his tie and slipping fingerless leather gloves back on his hands. Checking his watch, he smirked. "Well, you have precisely two more hours before your life is drained from you," he told him stoically. "And in the very unlikely event that someone finds you before you expire, the chances of you surviving this even with a massive blood transfusion are slim to none. Ifrit should have an enjoyable time adding you to the kindling of Hellfire. Good day."

* * *

The boy looked everywhere for the strange man in the black suit, knowing he couldn't have gone far in the small village. Rubbing his now healed arm, he turned around, running into the very person he was seeking. The man glared down at him, his piercing black eyes looking straight through him. 

"Are you hungry?"

The boy's eyes widened as he slowly nodded his head. The man gave a curt nod and turned on his heel, knowing the boy would follow him without being prompted to do so. Stopping at a cart, the man purchased several items of food and continued walking, slowing so the boy could walk beside him.

"Have you a home?"

"No, sir."

"Family? Parents, siblings?"

"No, sir."

"Very well," he said, opening the passenger's side door of a black Jaquar. He gestured for the boy to get inside, strapping the seat belt over him and giving him the food. The man then climbed into the driver's seat and started the vehicle, shifting it into drive.

"Where are you taking me?" the boy asked through a mouthful of food.

"Edge," was the reply. They sat in silence for a while, the boy eating, the man driving.

"Name?"

The boy looked up. "Paulo," he stated with a small grin. "You?"

"Tseng."

Paulo took a drink of the soda Tseng had bought him. "How did you fix my arm?" he asked. "Are you a god?"

"No."

Young, black eyes stared up at older, black eyes. "What are you then?"

Silence save for the sound of tires on asphault and engine noise.

"I'm a Turk."

* * *

_**A/N: Thanks, Tseng. I feel better now.**_

_**Tseng: Always a pleasure.**_


	53. Operation: FFR Part X4

_**A/N: Da da da da snap snap. Da da da da snap snap. Da da da da...da da da da...da da da da snap snap. We're sneaky and we're sexy; We've partied down with Zexy; What else rhymes with 'sexy'? The damn Turk Family! Da da da da snap snap. Our building is collasal; We've partied down with Axel; Our boss was once an asshole; Oh Fuck! I think he heard me! Da da da da snap snap.**_

**_Disclaimer: (whispering in 'Field of Dreams' fashion) If I owned it...I would cum._**

* * *

Tseng learned his lesson from The Giving of Thanks Feast. This time, he had Yuletide dinner catered in the ShinRa building. No Turk's cooking, no Turk's cleaning. Just time with his family and his new adopted son, Paulo. The young boy had never experienced Yuletide before. His first had been more than memorable. And now, a week later, they were preparing for the beginning of the New Year celebration, held at one of the banquet halls of Edge's five star hotels. 

Elena was over at Tseng's apartment, finishing getting ready for the party. Paulo stared at her in awe as she walked around the apartment in a short silk dress, applying make-up and touching up her hair. Tseng chuckled and closed Paulo's slacked jaw with his fingers.

"Don't get any ideas," he told the boy. "She's mine."

"She's just so...pretty," Paulo whispered. He then gave Tseng an evil grin. "Is she going to be my new mother?"

Tseng's mouth dropped at that and he was temporarily at a loss for words. Clearing his throat, he managed a strangled, "Perhaps."

Elena came out of the master bedroom and giggled. "Tseng, why are you making him wear a suit?" she asked, kneeling down in front of Paulo and straightening his tie. "I know this is a formal party, but he's just a child."

Paulo smiled at her as she ran her fingers through his hair to straighten the unruly black locks. "I don't mind, Miss Elena," he said softly. "I'm just happy to be here."

Elena kissed his cheek tenderly, wiping off the lipstick she left. "Sorry," she giggled, giving him a hug. "I'm glad you're here, too. And don't call me 'Miss Elena'. I'm not a school teacher. Elena is fine."

"What about 'Mom'?" Paulo asked with a snicker.

Elena laughed at the look Tseng got on his face. "I like this kid, Tseng," she said rising to her feet and linking her arm through her boss'. "He's smart."

"He's a smart aleck," Tseng grumbled. He tossed Paulo his coat and helped Elena into hers. "Come. We don't want to be late."

"Are the other kids going to be there?" Paulo asked as they entered the elevator and rode down to the ground floor.

Tseng smiled. "Oh yes," he replied. "You will have plenty peers to converse with."

* * *

"Okay, something has got to happen soon," Kandi said, chewing on her nails. "Akalara hasn't done anything since she heard that message on Revan's voicemail." 

"Well, did Rev talk to her?" Rude asked as he drove her and Andria to the hotel.

Kandi shrugged her shoulders. "I hope so."

"Az said that he caught his mom crying the other night," Andria said softly, leaning between their seats and joining the conversation. "She was really upset. But, you know, I don't think Niki-chan would ever do that. She's in love with Reno. And I know Revan loves Aunt Ak. There's no way he would cheat on her. So, everything will turn out okay."

Kandi glanced back at her daughter with a smirk. "And when did you become so smart with all this love stuff?" she asked.

"Mom, please," Andria said rolling her eyes. "I am a genius."

Kandi snorted. "Whatever, Spawn," she said rolling her eyes back at her. "Granted, you are fairly smart. But just remember who you get that from."

"Dad?" Andria said innocently. "And by that, I mean Zack."

"You little..."

"Ladies, don't make me turn this car around," Rude told them gruffly. He reached back and tweaked Andria's nose. "Sit back and fasten your seatbelt."

Andria grinned and pecked his cheek before she did. "Yes, Daddy Rude," she said sweetly.

Rude smirked in the darkness, grabbing Kandi's hand and kissing it. "And you behave," he ordered. "I'm still your superior."

"Yes, Sir," she replied with a smile. She took her hand back and held it up, trying to catch the light on the stones of the gift he had given her for Yuletide.

"Mom, you're blinding me with that thing!" Andria giggled. "Seriously, Daddy Baldylocks, where'd you'd find all that ice?"

"Nice jewelry store in Icicle Village that Ram told me about," he said. "Went there on a mission, saw the bracelet, thought is was perfect. Besides, the Northern Crater is known for it's diamonds."

"Huh," Andria said thoughtfully. "Mom, you never did tell me what you got Daddy Cueball for Yuletide. Pales in comparisson to what he got you, huh?"

"Ha fucking ha," Kandi said, leaning forward and partially unzipping the back of her dress, revealing a new tattoo on the skin of her lower back. "That's what I got him."

Andria leaned forward and burst into laughter. "You got a pair of sunglasses tattooed on your lower back?" she exclaimed. "Mom, lame gift."

"Hey, I think it's awesome," Kandi told her, situating herself again. "Rude likes it, don't ya, Babe?"

Rude nodded and smirked. "Sure do," he said. "Ink is hot. She also got another piercing for me."

Kandi smacked him on the arm. "We shall not discuss the piercing in front of the Spawn," she hissed.

"What'd you get pierced, Mom?" Andria giggled. "One of your nipples? Both of your nipples?"

"Andria!" Kandi shrieked.

"Mom!" Andria shrieked back. "Remember; Deepground? Uh, nothing shocks me anymore."

"She got her cl--"

"Rude, shut it!"

Andria laughed again. "Ah," she said, sitting back again and crossing her arms over her chest knowingly. "I see."

"Oh Shiva," Kandi mumbled.

"Yeah, I'll bet Shiva has hers pierced, too," Andria mused. "She always struck me as a tantric goddess."

"Zack, why did you curse me with such a smart child?" Kandi asked, throwing her arms up in the air in defeat. She glared back at her daughter who simply smirked at her.

"So, when can I get mine done? Double digits, same as the nose ring?"

"Not until you are considerably older," Rude told her. "Try when you're eighteen, okay?"

Andria pouted. "Fine, Daddy Chrome Dome," she said with a grin. She reached up and rubbed his bald head. "You're lucky I'm such a good kid, you know? I could be throwing a huge tantrum right now and yelling obscenities and stating obvious facts that you are not my father. But I wouldn't do that to you, cos I love you, Daddy No Hair."

Rude grinned back at her in the rearview mirror. "Yeah, and you know that if you were to say something like that, I would take your Yuletide present away."

Andria clasped her fist around the necklace Rude had given her for Yuletide and pouted. "Good thing we have this understanding then, huh?" she asked.

"Yeah, good thing," Rude said pulling into the circle drive of the ShinRa Heights Hotel. The valet came around and opened doors for everyone. Andria stood beside her mother and nudged her hip.

"I can't believe you're wearing a dress," she giggled.

Kandi rolled her eyes. "Don't get used to it," she said, running her fingers through her daughter's hair. "This is pretty much a one-time thing."

"Too bad," Rude said, snaking his arm around her waist and kissing her neck. "You look fantastic."

"I'm freezing my ass off, so let's go in," she said with a smile. Andria bounded to the doors ahead of them, her own purple dress shimmering in the soft lights of the hotel. She turned around and grinned at them before heading in. Kandi's breath caught in her throat.

"What's wrong?" Rude asked.

Kandi stared after her daughter. "I just caught a glimpse of what she's going to look like when she's older," she said softly. She turned to Rude and shook her head. "I'm in trouble."

Rude laughed lowly and kissed her softly. "We both are," he told her, leading her inside.

The banquet hall was spectacular. Food and alcohol had already been laid out on several tables against the walls. The stage was set up and Organization XIII was playing some slower songs. Tseng had booked them at N.C.'s request. He thought of the half-Wutain rookie as a little sister and as such could hardly tell her no. Besides, since her boyfriend was the lead vocalist, he thought it would be nice to invite them to the party anyway. And they were a damn good band.

Kandi looked around trying to spot a head of green hair. Or silver for that matter. If Az was here, then Akalara was too. What she spotted was the flaming red-hair of Reno coming toward her.

"Where's Ak?" she asked him.

Reno shook his head. "I don't know," he said, gesturing to Revan with his glass of scotch. "Rev's going nuts, Man. She's not talked to him in over two weeks. She's been keeping to herself. Brit don't even know where she is."

Andria was taking her cell phone out of her purse. "I'm calling Az," she said, hitting the button for his number. Kandi and Reno looked down at her, Kandi accepting a glass of champaigne from Rude as he joined them. "Az? Hey! It's Andria. Where are you?" She paused as he answered, her face breaking into a smile. "Okay! Cool! See you in a minute then. Bye!"

She hung up and turned to her mom. "They're on their way," she said, relief in her voice. "Just pulling into the drive way."

Axys bounded over to them and grabbed her father's hand. "Dad, uh, Niki-chan's had three glasses of wine now," she told him. "And she's mumbling something about releasing the Lifestream from it's porcelain prison."

"Shit," Reno said, hurrying over to Niki-chan. Axys giggled and grabbed Andria's hand, leading her over to where the other Turk Spawn and Mini-Rufus were sipping sparkling grade juice.

Minutes passed and Akalara and Azrael finally made it. Azrael waved over to his friends and turned to his mother. "Are you going to be okay, Mom?" he asked in concern.

Akalara gave her son a smile and nodded her head. "Have fun, Sweetheart," she said, kissing his cheek tenderly. Azrael returned the smile but wiped her lipstick off his cheek before going to his friends. He immediately went to Andria but Axys grabbed ahold of his arm, begging him to dance with her, much to Bryce's chagrin. Akalara smiled at that, knowing her son would have much the same experience as his father had with women fawning all over him. She jumped slightly as a hand slipped into her own.

"You look beautiful," Kandi told her, squeezing her hand.

Akalara turned to her friend and balked. "You're...wearing a dress," she said in awe.

"Ugh, don't remind me," Kandi said, taking a drink of her champaigne. "It sucks." She cocked her head, her hair falling over her eye. "Are you okay?"

"As good as I'm going to be," she sighed. "Niki has Reno and Revan."

"Did you even talk to him, Ak?" Kandi asked. "I mean, when I gave him back his cell phone, I asked him what he did that weekend. It's nothing what you think."

"You gave him back a smashed cell phone?"

"No, of course not," she said waving her hand dismissively. "I fixed it. And yes, I am that good, so shut up. Just talk to him, Babe. And please, whatever you are planning to do to Niki..."

Akalara's red eyes darkened. "Stay out of it," she said lowly. "It's none of your concern."

"Yes, it is, because it involves two girls that I think of as sisters," she snapped. "Gods damn, but I have a lot of sisters and keeping them from killing each other is getting to be a rather annoying full-time job. At least Ram and Trina love each other."

"Oh, look," Akalara interrupted, breaking away from Kandi. "There's Lily and Joel. I'm going to go say hi."

"Ak..."

"Damn Green Bitch."

Kandi turned and smiled at Brit. "No doubt."

* * *

Akalara stepped out onto the balcony, closing the door behind her. It was too stuffy in the banquet hall with everyone dancing and laughing and drinking their heads off. She needed some air and some time to think. 

Looking down, she smiled at the thought that went through her head. _Jump_. So easy, so simple. So final. The only thing she had was Azrael anyway. Reno was with Niki tonight and he seemed to be favoring her anyway. Though, it didn't really matter. She knew despite their sexual relationship that they would always be friends. She loved him, that was true. But something had hit her when she lost Revan.

She was in love with him.

Not in the same way as she had been with Sephiroth. No one would ever be able to replace him in her heart. But Revan...

The doors to the balcony opened and the man she had just been thinking of stepped through carrying two glasses of champaigne. She turned away from him and stared out over Edge.

"Akalara, please talk to me," Revan pleaded, setting the glasses down on the railing. "What have I done, Baby? Just tell me."

Akalara rubbed her bare arms and shook her head. "Revan, just leave," she said harshly. "I know you don't want me anymore. Just go."

Revan balked at that. "I don't want you anymore?" he asked. "Where in the hell did you get that idea?"

Akalara turned to him, red eyes flashing dangerously. "I know you slept with Niki," she hissed. "She got to you to get me back for what I did to her, writing Razor's name on her back. So she took you, too!"

Revan grabbed her arms and pulled her to him. "Now you listen to me," he snarled, steadying her thrashing. "I know that we are not exclusive because of this fight for that damn redhead; but as far as I'm concerned, _I_ am in a committed relationship with you. I would never cheat on you. Especially not with Niki because I know how you feel about her. And I know you may hate me for this, but I'm actually hoping that she wins Reno's affections."

Akalara glared at him. "Why?" she seethed. "So she can take more from me?"

"No," he said softly, placing a hand to her cheek. "So that I can have you to myself. No more sharing. All I want is you."

Akalara stared into his eyes, blinking her own to fight back tears that she never saw coming. "You...didn't sleep with Niki?" she asked. Revan shook his head. "I heard the voicemail from her; thanking your the other day and saying how amazing you were."

Revan arched an eyebrow. "When was this?" he asked. His eyes widened. "After the girls' night out?"

"Yeah."

Revan laughed. "I found her on the street, freezing cold, curled up in a little ball and covered in snow," he explained. "I gave her my coat, bought her some coffee and something to eat and we talked. She was really upset about your prank. Then I walked her back to her place and finished Yuletide shopping."

Akalara breathed a sigh of relief. "Really?" she asked, daring to be hopeful for once. "Are you telling the truth?"

"May Odin strike me dead right now if I'm not," he declared. He reached into his inside breast pocket and withdrew a small wrapped box. "And because you haven't spoken to me for the past few weeks, I wasn't able to give you my Yuletide present."

Akalara tenatively accepted the gift, unwrapping it and lifting the top off the black velvet box. A pair of white gold and ruby earrings sat in the box, glittering in the moonlight. "Revan," she breathed out. "They're beautiful. Thank you."

"Ak," he said, grasping her hand in his. "I know I'm just your second. I know that. And I'm okay with that. As long as I can have you, even just a little bit, I'll be satisfied. For now. I love you and I just want you to be happy, okay?"

She nodded as they faintly heard the others inside began the countdown to the New Year. "I am happy," she told him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "With you."

"Three, two, one...HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Inside, various couples kissed to welcome the start of a brand new year. Rude had Kandi bent back as he ravished her mouth, Randak and Nilto doing the same. Joel and Lily kissed until they couldn't breathe. Elena lived up to her nickname of Hot Lips as she kissed Tseng. Brit attacked Torr nearly to the ground, the only thing preventing them laying out was the chair he collapsed into. Sage had Ram pressed up against the sound system of the band. Demyx and N.C. were together and well as Kai and Zexion. Feather had opted for Black, so Roxas found himself molested by Sil, which was fine by him. Axel and Vincent were arguing over Katrina who suggested that they kiss and she watch. Rufus pulled Magni to him and as she kissed her boyfriend, she glanced over his shoulder to Wei, who simply lifted his glass to her and smiled sadly. Nina and Widdow shared a kiss and as soon as Reno stopped gawking at them, he pulled Niki to him and kissed her possessively.

Even the Turk Spawn were sharing cheek kisses with each other. Axys pouted as Azrael kissed Andria, but brightened when Bryce took her hand and planted a gentle kiss to her cheek. Paulo shyly took Kaya by the hand and kissed her sweetly, causing her to blush and her little brother Damian to cover his eyes with protestations of "GROSS!"

Back outside, one couple shared a kiss that put the others to shame. For in that one kiss was not just hope for the New Year, but hope for a new love.

* * *

_The Morning After New Year's, At Work..._

It was a good thing that New Year's Day was a declared holiday and no one was expected back at work until January 2. Niki scooted through the airconditioning vents quietly, kicking the cover off the one in Brit and Akalara's office. Time to get the Green Bitch back for the prank she pulled, writing that bastard's name on her back.

"Hmmm," Niki thought outloud. "What to destroy? What to destroy? OH! Pretty present!"

The little rookie plopped down at Akalara's desk and turned the package around, squealing as she read the name tag. "It's for ME!" she said excitedly. She jumped when the door opened and Reno walked in.

"Niki, what are you doing here?" he asked with a grin.

"Uh, pranking Akalara," she said, returning his grin with one of her own. "What are you doing here?"

"Brit's my morning girl, remember?" he said slyly. "Guess she hasn't made it in yet. Whoa, what are you doing?"

Niki was unwrapping the present. "It's for me anyway!" she said sticking out her tongue. "So I'm gonna open it and keep it before she can take it back."

Reno sat on the edge of Akalara's desk as Niki opened the box, revealing a very beautiful music box. "Oh!" Niki exclaimed clapping her hands excitedly. "I love music boxes! I wonder what it plays?"

She opened the gold lid and squealed again as the theme from 'The Phantom of the Opera' started playing, two figures, a man and a woman, dancing in a circle, moving closer and closer together. "How cool!" she giggled, leaning forward to watch the dancers.

"That is pretty neat," Reno said, patting her head. "See, she's not that..."

He paused, listening as the song ended and the dancers stood, almost touching. A small hiss, the sound of a fuse being lit, reached his ears. "Niki!" he yelled, trying to get her to move.

But it was too late.

A small explosion erupted from the music box, flames and shrapnel flying from it and into Niki's face. The rookie was knocked back against the wall, her head cracking the plaster with a sickening sound. Reno had been knocked to the floor with the force of the blast, a few pieces of the shrapnel hitting his face. He scrambled to his feet and went over to Niki. She was out cold, her face and upper body badly burned and bleeding.

"Oh gods," he cried, quickly reaching into his jacket pocket for his cell phone. He dialed the number to the Medical Facility. "Get up to floor 69 now!" he yelled. "Akalara and Brit's office. We have a Turk down!"

He reached for one of her hands and felt for a pulse, whimpering pathetically when he found nothing.

* * *

_**A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out. I have been so busy at work and sick on top of that. Hopefully things will get better. Review! And Happy Belated New Year!**_


	54. Operation: FFR Part X5

**_A/N: (poking Niki) Are you still alive?_**

**_Niki: ..._**

**_Me: ...uh oh. I think I left her out too long. _**

**_Disclaimer: I am currently in the process of buying Nomura's soul off of ebay. When I do that, I will own everything and this fic will become the coolest RPG in the history of the world! Complete with Organization XIII Sitar Hero Edition! You can be Demyx! Until then, I just molest the characters._**

* * *

The wasn't happening. This just wasn't happening. It seemed like it was just a few days ago that Reno was waiting outside of the ER as Akalara was operated on, praying to every god he was still on speaking terms with that she would be okay. Now, the same thing was happening with Niki. 

Axys was curled up beside him, her head in his lap as she slept. Christine had brought her to him when they found out about Niki's accident, the little girl wanting to be with her father. Reno had agreed, needing her with him. It was going on 11 p.m. and the doctors still hadn't made it out of surgery. He ran his fingers through his daughter's red hair, the soft tresses falling in silken strands onto his thighs. The action comforted him somewhat, but the gnawing in his gut wouldn't go away.

He glanced over at his partner who had his arm around Kandi, Andria leaning up against her mother, sound asleep as well. The red-streaked woman was trying to keep her tears in check but failing miserably. It seemed the last time he'd seen her cry was when they were in this same situation with Akalara. Rude's sunglasses were off, his lips pressed into the hair of his girlfriend, his fingers running soothing patterns on her arm as he held her.

Feather was sobbing quietly as Black tried his best to console her. Niki was her partner and this was hitting her particularly hard.

Tseng stood patiently, sipping a cup of coffee as Elena leaned against the wall, Paulo's head in her lap as he slept. She, like Reno, was running her fingers through the child's hair for lack of anything better to do.

Kandi shifted, her eyes going to the entrance of the waiting room. Reno turned his gaze to see what had caught her eye, the knot is his stomach tightening at the sight of silver hair. Kandi lifted Andria's head up gently and rose to her feet, allowing Rude to scoot over so he could act as a pillow for the black haired, red-streaked little girl. She went to the entrance and bent down, taking Azrael into her arms.

The little boy broke down and started crying. "It's okay," she whispered to him, sitting down on the ground and pulling him into her lap as she rocked him. "It's okay, Az."

"I'm not supposed to cry," he sobbed into her neck. "I have to be strong for Mom."

Kandi's heart broke at that, pulling him closer to her. "Then I'll be strong for you," she told him. "Just let it out, Baby. I've got you."

Stroking his hair, she felt more tears falling from her own eyes as Azrael's soft sobs left his throat. This little boy, this little _man_ she held in her arms, was not only the physical mirror of his father, but the emotional one as well. Wanting to do all he could, all that was in his power and all that was not, to help his mother, the woman he loved first and above all others; and it was breaking him. She couldn't help but think that during Sephiroth's possession by Jenova, that his mind, his spirit, was as fragile as his eight year old son's was right now. And that tore her up inside.

Continuing with her rocking, Kandi noticed that Azrael, exhausted both physically and mentally, was sound asleep in her lap. Smiling, she kissed the boy's head and hugged him closer against her. She turned and looked at Tseng. The Wutain quickly came over and took the sleeping child from her arms and laid him down on one of the couches before pulling her back up to her feet, her legs having fallen asleep staying that position for so long.

"Any word from Akalara?" she asked her boss.

Tseng shook his head. "No," he said heavily. "But her absense does not bode well for her."

Kandi rubbed her legs and stared down at her friend's son. "I know."

* * *

Akalara stared into her office, the room now taped off and considered a crime scene. She hadn't meant for this to happen. She didn't want Niki hurt. She'd been on the receiving end of a prank gone bad before. Sure, at the time, she had wanted to do the same to Niki, but she had allowed herself to cool down. And after she had thought Revan was cheating on her with the clinically insane rookie, she had made the bomb to blow off steam. It was more of a theraputic thing, making the music box and wrapping it up, addressing it to Niki. And in that, her revenge had been sated. Especially since she knew the truth. Smiling, she realized that her hot temper was beginning to cool...somewhat. 

But that hadn't stopped the bomb from falling into Niki's hands anyway. Akalara had no one to blame but herself for the accident. She should have known that Niki would try something to get her back for the Razor incident. She should have taken the bomb home, or dismantled it before she left for the day. Or sent it to one of the targets listed in the wanted database. Anything but leaving it on her desk. Foolishly, she had thought it would have been safe.

How wrong she had been.

"Ak."

The green-haired woman turned, looking into the cool blue eyes of her lover. "Revan," she began. "I swear, I didn't-"

"You made a bomb for Niki," he said calmly.

"With no intention of giving it to her," she explained with equal calm. "It's like looking at someone through the crosshairs of a sniper rifle and easing the trigger back, saying 'bang' before you actually fire. It's a theraputic way to ease rage."

"And your therapy could very well have killed another Turk," he told her.

Akalara shook her head. "Revan, you have to believe me," she whispered. "I didn't want to hurt Niki."

"And yet you did," he said stepping away from her. "I'm...disappointed in you, Ak."

Akalara's heart shattered at that. "Revan, please," she said desperately, grabbing onto his arm. "Please, don't leave me."

Revan removed her from his arm and shook his head. "I can't," he said through clenched teeth. "Ak, I just...can't."

He turned on his heel and walked away from her, each step he took a knife wound to her already broken heart. Now, she truly had nothing. Revan didn't believe her. She knew Reno wouldn't and he would hate her if Niki did die.

Akalara took a deep breath. Who was she kidding? It was just a matter of time before Niki died. Her bombs did what they were made to do; kill. Once Niki was dead, she would be taken into custody by her co-workers and eliminated. Turks who kill other Turks can't be trusted. Azrael would have to watch as his mother was taken and executed for her crimes. Azrael. Her son who, in his short life, had suffered so much. She wouldn't do it to him. He deserved better. Resolving herself, Akalara nodded, switching the light off in her taped off office and turning to go.

"I'm sorry, Seph," she whispered, heels clicking as she walked down the dark halls of Turk HQ.

* * *

Tseng rested his head against Elena's, nearly dozing off himself as they continued to wait for any news on Niki. He jumped slightly as his cellphone vibrated in his jacket pocket. Shifting slightly, he answered the call quietly. "Tseng here." 

An eyebrow arched up in question as he eased away from Elena, her eyes blinking in confusion. "Where?" he asked. "Are you sure? Right. I'll get a team together immediately."

He closed his cellphone and turned to his Turks. It seemed the entire force was there, all huddled together in the waiting room. The only one's missing besides Niki were Akalara and Revan.

"What is it?" Vincent asked gruffly.

"It appears we have a jumper on the top of our building," Tseng told them. "We need to get our net teams in position around the entire perimeter of the building. The W.R.O. and local police have been called and are bringing in padded catches and emergency response vehicles. Sage, I need you and Reno in the choppers..."

"I ain't leaving," Reno spat out. "I don't give a damn about no suicidal freak. I ain't leaving til I find out 'bout Niki."

"I'll do it," Joel offered, nodding at Reno. "His mind is elsewhere."

Tseng nodded as well. "Fine," he conceded. "Reno, you, Elena, and Nilto can stay with the children and wait for any word from Niki. The rest of us are needed on the ground. Except you three. Amazons, you're going up."

Kandi, Ram and Katrina smirked at each other. "Got it, Bossman," they said in unison.

* * *

The Amazons took the elevator to the top floor and then quickly exited, splitting up to try to surround the jumper before he or she decided to take the plunge so to speak. Kandi opened the window that lead out to the fire escape and slowly made her way up the metal climbing structure. She flipped down her nightvision shades to give her an advantage over the darkness and peeked her head over the ledge of the building. 

"I have a visual on the jumper," she said softly into her ear piece. "Female, roughly 5'1", 108 pounds," she said, activating a control on the shades and scanning the biological makeup of the woman. "Administering scan now." She gasped when the name flashed across her line of vision.

Akalara Forrest.

"Report," Tseng ordered.

"It's Akalara, Sir," Kandi told him. "Permission to approach, Sir."

"Denied," Tseng hasitly replied. "Continue observation for now. I'll get the net team ready. At my signal, you may advance to begin talk down procedures."

"Understood," she said, chewing her lip as she studied her friend. "Standing by, Sir."

_Akalara, what are you thinking?_ Kandi pleaded in her mind, wishing with all her might she was a closeted telepath and her powers would magically materialize now. Now. Now. Damn it! Not working.

So far, Akalara was simply standing on the ledge looking down, then out, then up and repeating the process again. _What are you looking for, Green Girl?_ Kandi thought. _The answers to your questions ain't at the bottom of this building, I can guaran-damn-tee that._

The red-streaked woman breathed a sigh of relief as her longtime friend stepped away from the ledge, wiping the tears falling from her eyes. "She's stepped back from the ledge, Sir," Kandi informed her boss. "She is approaching the center of the roof and is approximately 15' from the ledge on the closest side."

"Make contact," Tseng ordered. "Net teams have surrounded the building and spotters have her scoped. Be careful."

"Affirmative," Kandi replied, easing herself onto the roof. Fucking suicide jumpers were in the Turk training regime. She just didn't think her first shot at it would be one of her best fucking friends!

Flipping her nightvision shades up on her head, she took a moment to let her eyes adjust to the darkness. Tenatively, she stood up and made her way over to the pacing woman. "Ak?"

Akalara jumped and spun around, staring with relief at her friend. She broke into sobs and rushed to Kandi whose arms were already opened wide. The slightly older woman held her green-haired friend as she sobbed, pulling them both to the ground so she could just hold her. "It's okay," Kandi whispered. "I've got you, Babe. Talk to me. Why are you up here?"

Akalara was not a ladylike weeper. Oh hell no. For that matter, neither was Kandi. Both women refused to cry, so when they did it was a mad rush of tears, snot, saliva and other various degrees of yuck, covering the person who was unfortunate enough (in this case, Kandi) to be their source of comfort with various nasal fluids. So, it was in this particular manner that Akalara was dripping and sobbing on Kandi's jacket whilst her friend kindly held her close.

"I didn't want her dead," Akalara croaked out. "I didn't mean for her to get that bomb. I made it to vent, that's all; I swear to Shiva, Kandi."

"I know," she said, stroking her hair. "No one blames you, Ak."

"Reno will. Gods, he'll hate me," she hissed. "And then Revan...I've lost him. I thought she slept with him! Everyone will think it was intentional. I have nothing to live for!"

"You've got Azrael," Kandi interjected. "That sweet little silver haired boy. Your pride and joy. The inspiration to my impromptu poem just now."

She was trying to lighten the mood, but Akalara was immune to her joking. "He's better off without me," Akalara snapped, pulling away from her friend. Kandi cursed as the green-haired woman slipped out of her grasp and went back to the ledge. "He was fine without me for eight years, he'll do even better without me for the rest of his life."

Kandi scrambled to her feet and eased closer to Akalara. "That's fuckin' bull shit and you know it!" Kandi snarled at her. "That little boy idolizes you almost as much as he does Sephiroth. You owe it to him and to Seph to not do this."

Akalara turned her demonic colored eyes on Kandi. "Don't you fucking stand there and tell me I owe them anything!" she screamed. "Sephiroth left me! I was pregnant with his child and he left me!"

"He died!" Kandi screamed back. "It's not like he had a choice in the matter! Are you so fucking selfish you can't see that?"

"So what if I'm selfish? I don't give a fuck anymore!" she hissed. "Not about you, not about Seph, and not about Azrael. I don't care! I just want to die!"

Kandi whipped out her 9mm and cocked it, pointing it at Akalara's head, moving faster than she ever had before and placing the cold barrel to her friend's head. "You want it that bad, I'll give it to you, Bitch," Kandi snarled, her teeth bared. "Helluva lot easier clean-up than scraping your blood and guts off the ground 70 stories down."

Akalara glared at her. "Do it," she seethed. "You just better not fucking miss."

Kandi's eyes narrowed to slits. "See ya in hell, Ak," she said.

The report of a 9mm echoed through the city. Akalara flinched and screamed, falling to the ground and shaking. Cracking her eyes opened, she saw her friend holding a second smoking pistol in her other hand. Akalara shook violently. She was still alive.

"Report!" Tseng yelled into her ear piece.

"Under control, Sir," she heard Katrina say. "Stand-by."

_Good girl_, Kandi thought to herself, praising her Amazon Sista mentally.

She smirked at her friend as she put both guns away. "You _don't_ want to die," she said smuggly.

Akalara leapt to her feet. She swallowed hard, determination filling her. "I do," she said softly. "I have for a while. Please, take care of Azrael for me."

Kandi stared at her in disbelief as she approached the ledge again. "You can't be serious?!" she shrieked at her. "And what the hell am I supposed to tell him? Huh? 'Sorry, Az, but your father died nine monthes before you were born, his clones tried to destroy the world...twice, and your mother was a chicken shit BITCH who couldn't stand to be alive anymore so we had to scrape her guts off the ground outside of work. But she bounced a couple of times, so hey!'"

Akalara stepped up on the ledge, casting her friend a final grin. "You'll think of something," she said. She smiled sadly. "See you in hell, Kandi."

Kandi cursed as the green-haired woman fell over the edge of the building. "JUMP!" she screamed into her headset. "North side, deploy nets!"

Two net guns, the same kind that saved Rufus' life after he leapt from Kadaj, shot out, crossing and catching the green-haired woman at around the twentieth floor. Kandi leaned over the edge, breathing a sigh of relief to see that her friend had landed in them safely. "Make sure that catch is directly under her," she ordered into her head set. "She's unstable enough to try to wiggle out of those nets and fall the remaining twenty stories."

"Got it," Rude's voice came over her head set. She relaxed hearing the unspoken words of comfort coming from him.

Seventy stories were taken in no time and she arrived on the ground floor just as they were removing an irrate Akalara from the nets. Kandi pushed her way through her fellow Turks and emergency personnel, seeing red and fuming. Tseng tried to stop her, but she simply kneed him in the groin and kept going toward her 'friend'. Akalara was screaming at the EMT's trying to restrain her. When she saw Kandi coming toward her, she glared. "You-"

The sentence was never completed as Kandi's right fist connected hard with her face. Kandi sucked on her bleeding knuckles as the EMT's put the now unconscious Turk on a gurney and prepared to get her into the building to the Medical Facility. "Can I have an ice pack?" she asked one of them, catching the item as it was tossed to her. She made her way back to Tseng, who was gingerly trying to sit, his left hand holding his now swollen manhood. Kandi grinned apologetically and offered him the ice pack. "Sorry, Bossman."

Tseng took the ice pack with a glare, hissing as he placed the cold to his genitilia. "You're getting a month on the night shift for that," he growled.

Kandi winced and continued licking the blood off her knuckles. "Yes, Sir," she said.

Tseng grabbed her injured hand and rummaged in a nearby First-Aid kit and began bandaging up her knuckles. "Good work," he said with a small smile.

The red-streaked woman grinned. "Thank you, Sir," she said, eyeing the stretcher that held Akalara as it rushed by. "But this still isn't over."

"I'm afraid you're right," Tseng said darkly, eyes furrowed in determination. "But I'm about to end it."

* * *

_**A/N: Uh oh...Tseng's mad now. That...can't be good. Review please! Make me want to write more! XD**_


	55. Operation: FFR Part X6

_**A/N: Decided to do something different. Hope it works out!**_

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but this tub of Boy Scout Popcorn...now made with 100 Percent Boy Scouts! Taste the honor!_**

* * *

Something smelled...sweet. 

Akalara kept her eyes closed, not really knowing where she was but feeling extreme peace for once in her troubled life. The air here was warm, but not overly so; and there was a gentle breeze that almost seemed as it if came from the ocean; but she couldn't hear the ocean. Slowly, she eased her eyes opened, staring up into a bright blue sky with just enough of the big, soft, fluffy clouds to make one want to stare up at them for the entire day.

"Wow," she breathed in, just watching the shapes float by. She heard someone giggle and turned her head toward the sound, the white and yellow lillies she was laying in tickling her face as they touched her skin. Sitting up, she stared at the woman, her short white pleated mini-shirt twirling as she spun with her arms wide open. She wore a matching white tank top, white knee socks and white Converses. Falling over as she made herself dizzy, she laughed, clutching her stomach as her sable hair fanned out in the flowers.

"Niki?" Akalara asked, elation filling her. She wasn't dead! She didn't kill her! The green-haired woman scrambled to her feet, rushing over to the other woman. "Niki!" she exclaimed launching herself at her and tackling her in a hug. "Oh thank the gods! I thought you were dead!"

Niki returned the hug with the child like innocence she'd always displayed. "Hi Ak!" she said with a genuine smile.

Akalara was so overcome with relief, she kissed the girl on both of her cheeks. "Niki, I'm so sorry about the bomb," she told her. "I really didn't want you to get hurt."

Niki giggled again, arching up into a crab crawl and flipping her legs up to walk on her hands. "I know," she said with a smile as she righted herself and then did a back handspring. "We all know."

Akalara looked at her in confusion as she continued doing her tricks. "Everyone knows?" she asked hopefully. "No one thinks I tried to kill you on purpose? Reno and Revan know the truth of it?"

"Oh, I don't know," Niki said, standing on her feet and tapping her chin. "But Zack knows you didn't. So does Aeris(th). Oh! And Sephiroth, too! He totally believes you."

Akalara's stomach dropped and she placed a hand to her mouth. She looked down at herself, noting that she was dressed all in white, too; white capris, white tank and white flip flops. "Niki," she whispered. "We're dead."

"Nope," Niki said, turning a series of cartwheels before ending in a cheerleader crouch. "Just...sleeping, I think. I think I'm in a coma and you're sedated so you won't harm yourself."

"How do you know?" Akalara asked, looking at the clinically insane Turk oddly.

Niki grabbed Akalara's hand and took off running to a pool in the center of the field. "Look!" she said, pointing at the water with a grin. "There we are! They put us in the same room. I'm out of surgery now, at least. I'll probably have a really bad headache if I wake up."

"But...why are we here if we aren't dead?" Akalara asked frantically. "I thought the Lifestream was for people who died! Why?! Why are we here?!"

"Chill, Ak," came a chuckling voice she was all too familiar with. "Gods, you're gonna fret yourself into an early grave."

Akalara turned sharply to see the most outrageous head of black spikes she'd ever seen. She couldn't help it; she didn't want to. Tears sprang to her eyes, seeing her friend for the first time in nine years. "Zack," she whispered. She began running toward him, throwing herself into his arms. "Zack!"

Zack caught her with a laugh and nearly squeezed the breath out of her. "Hey, Green Girl," he said softly, planting a kiss to her cheek. "Gods, I've missed you."

Akalara couldn't speak through the harsh sobs escaping her. And she didn't care that she was crying. She really didn't. There was no need to keep up pretenses anymore; no need to be strong when she wasn't. She was in the Lifestream. Showing weakness here didn't matter. And so she cried on the shoulder of her friend, clinging to him fiercely. "Oh my gods," she whispered through her tears. "I've missed you so much."

Zack continued to hold her, softly stroking her forest green locks and kissing her temple lightly. "I know," he said, giving her a comforting squeeze before pulling back to look at her. "I know, Ak."

Akalara ran the back of her hand over her eyes, grinning up at Zack. "You look damn good for a dead guy, you know that?" she laughed.

"Oh, he knows it. He's always been full of himself," came a feminine giggle.

Akalara turned to see a pretty young woman with long chestnut hair and eyes a bright shade of green. "Ak," Zack said with a grin, holding his hand out to the girl. "This is Aeris(th)."

"A pleasure to meet you, Akalara," Aeris(th) said sweetly. Akalara simply plastered on a fake smile. For some reason, she really didn't like her. Of course, she had never liked the perfect girls who were too pretty for their own good.

"Likewise," she said cordially.

Niki bounded over to them and jumped on Zack's shoulders. "Isn't he cute?" she squealed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "No wonder Kandi can't forget about him! He's yummy!"

Zack laughed and flipped Niki over his shoulder and into his arms. "I can't forget about my yummy Kandi either," he said tickling Niki on her sides, causing the clinically insane rookie to squeal in laughter.

Something flashed in Aeris(th)'s eyes that only Akalara caught. Jealousy. A slow grin spread across the green-haired Turk's face. The dead Cetra chick was jealous of her friend. "Who could forget about _Kandi_?" she said, digging the knife into Aeris(th)'s gut a little further. "Remember all the times we danced for you guys? Always ended in the hottest sex ever. I don't think anyone could make you scream like _Kandi_ could. Not even me, which is a bit disappointing. I guess you and _Kandi_ just had the right kind of chemistry."

Aeris(th) smiled slightly, her eyes flashing with barely concealed anger. "I'm going to see what can be done about getting these two home, all right, Zack?" she said, her voice dripping with saccarine. Zack didn't hear her as he continued tickling Niki. "Zack? Zack?"

Akalara crossed her arms and smiled, cocking her head to the side. "I'll tell him you're gone, okay? Okay. Bye-bye," she said, turning on her heel and jogging off to where Zack was now chasing Niki.

The clinically insane rookie glomped Zack, tackling him to the ground. "I like him, Ak," she said gleefully. "Can we take him back with us?"

"I wish," Akalara grumbled, staring after the retreating pink menace. "Ugh, Zack. What did you see in her? Kandi is way hotter. Hell, Reno is better than that and you aren't even bi!"

"Oooh, yeah!" Niki squealed. "Reno's hot! I don't like the Cetra girl. She scolded me for trying to summon the Lifestream from the toilet at Tifa's bar."

Zack chuckled. "That's because it was at _Tifa's_ bar," he told them. "Aeris(th) is a little on the jealous side."

"Ya think?" Akalara asked. "Gods, if she wasn't dead, I'd kill her ass."

Grinning, Zack shook his head. "Now, come on," he said sweetly. "That's my girl you're talking about."

"No, _your_ girl is on the other side of the Lifestream, raising the daughter you two created together...alone," Akalara huffed.

"Last I saw, she was Rude's girl," Zack said with a grin. "And he's helping her out."

"Whatever," Akalara said, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest. "She was your girl first."

Niki pouted and stuck her hands on her hips, standing next to her nemesis. "Yeah!" she exclaimed. She turned to Akalara. "Oh, but I like her and Rude together."

"He does suit her," Zack said.

"Whatever, I still don't like the Pink Bitch," Akalara said. Her eyes narrowed. "And she'd better stay the fuck away from my man!"

"Oddly enough, I severed any affection she could ever have for me when I ran Masamune through her back," came a low chuckle. Sephiroth stepped out of the brightness and stood next to Zack. "I believe that is the only thing Jenova did that I am thankful for."

Akalara's eyes prickled again as she stepped toward him. "Seph," she whispered, reaching her hand out to touch his face.

Zack grabbed Niki's hand and pulled her over to the pond to give Akalara and Seph some privacy. "Come on, Niki," he said, kneeling down and touching the pool. "Let's see how everyone's holding up, huh?"

"Okay!" Niki exclaimed, plopping down beside him. She peered into the water and looked at all their friends waiting in the Medical Facility. "Aw, they all look so sad."

"Yeah, they do," Zack said softly, staring at Reno holding Axys in his lap. "Reno's worried about you."

"I know," she answered quietly staring at the red-head.

The pool shimmered and focused in on Tseng and Elena, comforting each other. "Tseng even looks upset," he observed in shock. "When I knew him, he hardly ever displayed emotions."

"Ferret Face is cool," Niki giggled. "Hot Lips has really helped to get the stick outta his ass."

Zack laughed. "I'll bet," he said, touching the pool again, watching as Kandi and Rude came into view, Andria sitting on Rude's lap and talking softly to her mother. Zack just stared at the two females, his heart longing to be with them.

"She really misses you," Niki told him. "It was actually the anniversary night of the day you and Sephiroth we're reported dead that started this whole thing."

"I know," Zack said, still staring into the pool. "I'm glad she has Rude, though. I chose well for her."

Niki cocked her head at him, her hair hitting the ground with the action. "Huh?" she asked cutely.

Zack grinned. "When someone dies and goes to the Lifestream, they can transfer some of their feelings and emotions to someone else for the people they love and care about," he explained. "Which is why Aeris(th) and Cloud were drawn to each other. I gave Cloud my feelings for Aeris(th) and Aeris(th) my feelings for Cloud."

Niki giggled at that.

Zack narrowed his eyes at her. "Not like that!" he snapped. "Cloud is like a brother to me, nothing else. Aeris(th) just took the feelings I had and added to them."

"So, the feelings you had for Kandi..."

"I gave to Rude."

Niki looked at the couple again and smiled. "I think he loves her," she told him.

Zack nodded, reaching out as if to run his fingers through her red-streaked hair. "He does," he said softly.

* * *

"Trying to be so strong, yet succombing to your weakness," Sephiroth observed, as he cupped Akalara's cheek in his hand. "I thought you above self-slaughter, Ak." 

Akalara's tear filled eyes narrowed at the man she loved. "You of all people should know that the strength I display is simply a farce," she spat out. "I have to be strong. I have to be tough. Otherwise, I'm nothing."

"But you're not strong."

"Of course I'm not!" she yelled, pounding on his chest. "I'm scared! Scared of being alone. Scared of never being loved. You were the only person I could truly be myself with and you left me!"

Sephiroth's gaze hardened. "You act as if it was intentional on my part," he growled. He let his hands travel to grasp her shoulders. "If I knew then what I know now, I never would have gone on that mission. I would have stayed there, with you. I would have raised our son, with you. I would have lived my life, with you. You, Akalara. Only you."

Akalara broke into hoarse sobs, burying her face in his chest. "But you didn't," she cried. "You didn't."

The former general wrapped his strong arms around the woman that had held all of his hope and dreams and pulled her close to him, each sob coming from her shattering his heart further. "I know," he whispered. "And I'm sorry. If I could change the past, I would. But what's done is done." He kissed the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her hair. "My life is over. But you still have yours to live."

"Alone," she said pitifully.

"Never alone," he told her. "You have our son, you have your friends and you have Revan."

"Revan hates me for what he thinks I did to Niki," she whispered.

"Then you'll just have to convince him otherwise," Sephiroth told her with a smile. "You always were good at persuassion, Ak. Utilize that talent on him. But, I don't think he'll need much convincing. The bastard loves you."

Akalara couldn't help laughing a bit a that. "Jealous, Seph?" she asked innocently.

"He's going to have to realize that he can only have you until your life is over," he explained in a low voice. "Once you return to me, I'm never letting you go."

"Don't let me go now," Akalara pleaded. "Let me stay here with you. I'm already in the Lifestream, don't send me back."

"What about Azrael?" Sephiroth asked. "An orphan son of mine could still be in danger, inspite of all the Turks watching out for him." Akalara was silent, then reluctantly nodded. "Besides," he continued, pulling her into his arms again. "This isn't quite the Lifestream. You and Niki aren't dead. Just unconscious. This is a sort of realm where those who are dead and those who are living can meet. It's hard to get to and this is a rare case, so don't get any ideas of trying to stay here."

"You know me too well, Seph," Akalara said with a smile. She turned her head when she heard a female clearing her throat. Aeris(th) gave her a gentle, fake smile.

"It's time," she said, gesturing for Zack to bring Niki over. A bright light opened up and the Cetra stepped aside. "You're time to leave the Planet has not yet come. Return home and live out the remainder of your days."

Niki grabbed Akalara's hand and began pulling her through. "Come on, Ak!" she said excitedly. "Reno's gonna be so happy we're okay!"

Akalara nodded and smiled. "Just one second, Niki," she said, before turning back to Sephiroth. "I'll never stop loving you."

"Nor I you," he replied, planting a gentle kiss to her lips. "And that is as it should be."

Niki hugged Zack. "I'll tell Kandi you send your love, okay?" she asked.

Zack nodded and hugged her back. "You do that, Niki-chan," he said, tweaking her nose, ignoring Aeris(th)'s pout. "Tell her she knows where to find me if she needs me."

"'Kay!" Niki said, throwing her arms around Akalara. "I'm done fighting with you," she told her, snuggling into her shoulder. "When we get back, let's just stop it, okay?"

Again, Akalara nodded. "Sounds good, Niki," she said, returning the hug. "Let's go."

As the two women disappeared back into the world of life, the three deceased watched. Zack shook his head once the light vanished. "Seems really quiet without Niki here," he commented.

"Indeed," Sephiroth chuckled. "She's a bundle of energy, isn't she?"

"I kinda miss her," his second-in-command laughed.

Aeris(th) turned on her heel and glared at him. "You shouldn't," she snapped before turning and walking away, mumbling something that sounded similar to, "...won't be gone long."

Sephiroth shook his head. "Zackary, my friend..." he began.

"Don't Seph," Zack interrupted. "Don't even say it."

Sephiroth just chuckled as he fell into step beside his best friend. "It's going to be a long afterlife," he told him.

Zack groaned. "I told you not to say it!"

* * *

**_A/N: I never liked Aeris(th). She always seemed to good to be true, you know? Sorry to all you Aeris(th) fans out there, but to each his/her own, right? Review please!_**


	56. Operation: FFR Part X7

_**A/N: I LIVE! (is killed by readers for taking so long to update)**_

**_Disclaimer: I still own nothing but this new pair of totally bitchin' Vans. Black and white checkered. I shall call them my Roxas shoes._**

* * *

"Hit me." 

The man behind the counter gave the blond an odd look. "I think you've had enough," he said with a thick accent.

Revan slammed his hand down on the counter and stood to his full six foot height. "Listen, you asshole, I'll tell you when I've had enough," he snarled leaning forward a bit over the bar. "Now give me your good stuff and don't skimp on the wasabi this time, got it?"

The sushi chef bowed slightly, turning to fix Revan his forth plate. The Turk sat back down and sipped his soda thoughtfully. He didn't understand what he was feeling. It felt a little something like what guilt had felt like, but he had learned to repress those feelings before he joined the Turks. Guilt and an assassin didn't quite mesh well. But still...this feeling was a gnawing feeling. It started right at his heart and traveled up toward his throat. It sucked, whatever it was. And he knew it stemmed from his conversation with Akalara earlier.

He knew he shouldn't have left the way he had, but at the point, he couldn't deal with the situation. Revan loved the green-haired woman too much to say something he would regret; so, he decided to put some space between them. Now, all he wanted to do was take her back in his arms and hold her and tell her everything would be all right. When he had told her "I can't", it hadn't been to say that he couldn't do this anymore. No. What he couldn't do was ever stop loving her. Akalara could probably stick a bomb up his own mother's ass and detonate it while laughing manically and he'd still love her. Of course, he hated his mother, but that was beside the point.

"Rev!"

The blond Turk turned his head, just as his white-haired partner hurried over to the bar. "Sup Torr?" he asked taking a piece of sushi off the plate the chef had place in front of him. "Care for some dinner? My treat."

Torr shook his head. "I've been trying to get a hold of you for hours," he said in exasperation. "I just happened to drive by here and see your car. Where is your phone?"

"In my pocket," Revan answered, smearing the fish, seaweed and rice in the wasabi. "Turned off."

Torr whacked him upside his head. "Tseng's gonna shit a brick and beat you with it, you fucktard," he snarled. "Dude, we gotta get back to the Medical Facility. Now."

Revan swallowed the last of his sushi and took a drink. "Niki that bad?" he asked in concern. "What does this mean for Akalara?"

Torr shook his head. "Revan, it _is_ Akalara," he told him, grasping his shoulder. "She jumped off the top of the ShinRa Building earlier."

Revan jumped off his stool and threw enough gil onto the bar to cover his night of sushi binging. Not even waiting for his partner, he raced out of the sushi bar and jumped in his car, speeding off towards work.

The feeling he had intensified as he took corners and side streets at extremely illegal speeds. Racing up the levels of the parking garage, he skid into a parking place and leapt out of his vehicle, running to the elevators and hitting the buttons impatiently. Finally, the doors opened and he stepped in, hitting the button for the Medical Facility. He rode up, gnawing at his fingers and when the doors opened, he rushed out toward the waiting room. Seeing it full of Turks and their kids, he looked around for a head of silver. He found it sitting next to Andria, talking softly. Azrael looked up when Revan burst into the room and got to his feet. Revan made his way over to the boy and dropped to his knees, pulling him into his arms.

"You okay?" the Turk asked his lover's son.

"Yeah," he answered, pulling back from him. "Where's Mom? I thought she'd be with you."

Revan's eyebrow arched and he looked over to Tseng. The Turk leader shook his head, indicating that the boy didn't know of his mother's attempted suicide. "I'll find out for you," Revan told him, patting the boy's head and standing up. He went over to Tseng and after assuring himself that Azrael was situated next to Andria again, he snarled at his Wutain boss. "Why didn't you tell him?"

"How do you tell an eight year old his mother tried to kill herself?" Tseng asked, dark eyes narrowing dangerously.

"You just do," Revan barked. "Az is a smart kid. He's gonna figure it out eventually and it'll just make it that much worse when he does find out. Just tell him what happened. Or tell me and I'll tell him myself."

Tseng took a deep breath and motioned Kandi over. "Kandi was on the top of the building with her," he said. "She can tell him."

Kandi nodded and followed Revan over to Azrael. "Hey, Big Guy," Revan said, plopping down beside the silver haired boy. "Listen...uh, we know where your mom is."

The red-streaked Turk sat beside her daughter as the girl took Azrael's hand in hers, somehow knowing he was going to need help to get through this. "Az, your mom tried to kill herself earlier," she told him. Azrael's red eyes began blinking rapidly, trying to stop the flow of tears. He squared his jaw and nodded slightly. "We caught her in the nets at the twentieth floor and now she's in an induced coma. The doctors want to keep her sedated so she won't try to harm herself again. But she's alive at least."

"But she wants to die," he said softly. "She doesn't want to be here anymore."

"She's going to get the help that she needs, all right?" she continued. "Tseng has already called in a psychiatrist to talk to her when she wakes up. She's been recommened by Mr. Tuesti from the W.R.O., so she'll--"

"Why didn't you just let her die?" he asked harshly. Kandi blinked at the boy, shocked by that. "She obviously isn't happy here, so let her go."

"Az, she's..."

"No!" he yelled, yanking his hand from Andria's grasp as he stood up. "You don't know what she's been through! Father died and left her to raise me by herself. She couldn't do that, so she gave me to Monica. She's not even had me with her for a year and she wants to die, so let her! If it will make her happy, let her die!"

Revan grabbed the boy by the shoulders and sat him back down. "This isn't your fault, Azrael," he growled. "Your mom is just...messed up a little bit because of everything."

"She's not happy," Azrael sobbed. "Let her be happy. Let her go and be with my father." He turned his glare to Revan. "You _did_ make her happy. Until you fucked everything up."

Oh, that feeling was back and intensifed by about a hundred percent. "I didn't sleep with Niki," Revan told him.

"But she thought you did," Azrael accused. "Which is just as bad. You failed."

Revan grit his teeth and took a deep breath. "I love her," he ground out.

"Not enough," Azrael spat out. "You will never be Sephiroth. You will never be good enough. I used to think you could be. I was wrong."

"Az," Andria said, tugging on the boy's hand. "Stop it. You love Revan, you know you do."

"He'll never be my father," Azrael stated stubbornly.

"No, he won't," the girl said. "No one will ever replace Sephiroth. Just like no one will ever replace Zack."

"You've let Rude replace Zack," Azrael snarled at her. "You've betrayed your father's memory by allowing Rude to take his role."

"Bull-fucking-shit," Andria snapped, jumping to her feet, violet eyes narrowed. She shoved the boy in the chest. "Just because I have let Rude into my life, doesn't mean I love or respect my daddy any less. Here's the cold hard facts, Az. Zack and Sephiroth are dead. _Dead_. Nothing is going to bring them back, okay? Rude loves my mom. My mom loves Rude. And I love them both. Your mom loves Revan and Revan loves her. And don't you fucking sit there and tell me you don't care about him and see him as a father to you. He's the only one you've ever known! We got a raw deal, Az. Our bio-Dad's are dead; but that doesn't mean that we have to live our lives without a father. So quit being a fucking prick to Revan, because Akalara jumping off the building wasn't his fault!"

Azrael stared at the violet eyed girl fuming before him. Right then and there, he knew he'd love her for the rest of his life. No one else would have the guts to stand up to him like Andria would. But it wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair! He was entitled to lash out against his mother's boyfriend. His mother was in a medically induced coma, for Ifrit's sake, to keep her from causing more harm to herself. She had attempted suicide. He couldn't cry. He wasn't supposed to cry. He already had when his mom had disappeared. He'd broke. Azrael, the son of Sephiroth, had broken because of his mother's pain. He would do anything for his mother. He had to find her. He had to get to her. They had to be reunited.

"Where is she?" he asked Kandi. The red-streaked Turk look toward Tseng and Azrael followed her gaze. "Where's Mother?"

Tseng's face paled and Elena gasped. Rufus rose from his seat next to Magni and went to the boy. "What did you say?" he croaked out.

"Where's Mother?!" Azrael shrieked. "All I want is to be with Mother!"

"Stop calling her that!" Reno yelled at him leaping to his feet. "You sound like those damn remanants."

Azrael cocked his head, his red eyes flashing dangerously. "You mean...my uncles?" he asked with a smirk. "They thought my father was their brother, correct?"

"Knock it off," Reno warned. "You are nothing like them."

"I'm identical to them!" Azrael screamed. "I'm just a kid who wants to find his MOTHER! Where is she?!"

"Your mother is starting to come out of her sleep," a young woman said, stepping into the waiting area. She flicked a piece of hair out of her eyes and stared down at the silverette. "You will be permitted to see her as soon as she is cleared and as soon as you calm down. Are you satisfied now, Azrael?"

Azrael looked up at her. "Who are you?" he challenged.

"Dr. Kyrn Irving," she answered. "Reeve Tuesti asked me to speak with your mother."

"The psychiatrist?" Azrael blinked, looking at Kandi.

Kandi nodded. "I guess so," she replied, rubbing Andria's back soothingly, feeling how her daughter was trembling.

"Yes, I'm a psychiatrist," Dr. Irving said, sitting down in front of Azrael and gesturing to a seat. Azrael looked at her and crossed his arms defiantly. Dr. Irving simply smiled. "Your mother has some issues, Azrael. Though it's not surprising given her childhood and early adulthood. I want to help her and I'm going to need your assistance."

"I won't keep her doped up," Azrael snapped. "That's not going to help her."

"She's not doped up," Dr. Irving told him.

"You guys put her in a medically induced coma," Azrael replied. "How's that not doping her up?"

Dr. Irving laughed. "We cast Sleep on her; nothing more," she explained. "Though we did give her some muscle relaxers. She's quite tense. Doping her up would have made it difficult to talk to her when she comes to."

"So, are you wanting to talk to her about her trying to kill herself?" Azrael asked. "She'll just shut down. If you provoke her and she doesn't want to talk, she'll just clam up. Mom always does that."

"That's why I need your help," Dr. Irving said. "She trusts you and she'll want to get well for you. Understand?"

Azrael shrugged. "I...guess," he said. "But, I don't think she even wants me anymore. If it wasn't Revan's fault she jumped, it's gotta be mine."

"Bull shit, Kid," Revan snapped. He took Azrael's shoulders in his hands and pulled the boy to him. "You're the only reason she kept going as it was."

"That's true," Kandi added with a nod. "If she hadn't been pregnant with you when Sephiroth died, she would have killed herself a long ass time ago."

"Then why now?" Azrael choked out. "Why, after all this time, would she want to kill herself now?"

"That's what I plan to find out," Dr. Irving said with a smile. She rose to her feet. "Would you like to go see her?"

Azrael nodded and began following her. He stopped and turned back slightly, holding his hand out to Revan. "Come on, Rev," he said.

Revan looked at the boy and nodded his head with a smile, taking his hand. "Okay."

* * *

_**A/N: Hopefully, I won't take so long for the next chapter. Review, please!**_


	57. Operation: FFR The Finale

_**

* * *

**_

A/N: Here he comes! Here comes Speed Racer! He's a terror on wheels!

**_Disclaimer: (clicks mouse on ebay) Yes! High bidder! Score! Normura's soul is mine! Therefore, I now own EVERYTH-- What? (looks at computer screen in shock) NO! What do you mean the reserve wasn't met?! DAMMIT!! (takes needle and stabs Aeris(th) voodoo doll)_**

**_Aeris(th) (in the Lifestream): OW! Gods damn it, that hurt!_**

**_Zack (looks away from watching clouds...in the sky...not the blond hero of the game): What?_**

**_Aeris(th): I don't know! It felt like someone stabbed me._**

**_Zack: Seph..._**

**_Sephiroth: It wasn't me this time! Damn it, you get possessed by a headless alien ONE FUCKING TIME and kill the last of the Ancients, then anytime she feels a little prick, it's all, 'Sephiroth! Quit stabbing Aeris(th)!' It wasn't me, Zachary!_**

**_Zack: I wasn't accusing you, Dumbass! I was gonna see if you could toss me a beer. The chappie's about to start._**

**_Sephiroth: Oh, gods, great! It's about fucking time. This author is such a bitch._**

**_Aeris(th): Ow! Something stabbed me AGAIN!_**

* * *

Azrael peered into the room where his mother and Niki were laying, unconscious. Akalara's hair was down, the long, green tresses pooling onto the pillow where her head lay. Niki's own sable locks were laying in a similar manner. The only difference, her's were matted with blood from the explosion.

The silver haired boy swallowed hard as he came into the room, followed closely by Revan and Dr. Irving. He looked over at the clinically insane rookie, unable to see her face as she was covered from scalp to shoulders in white gauze. He looked up at the doctor, cranberry eyes wide. "Is Niki-chan going to be okay?" he whispered.

Dr. Irving shook her head, looking over at the little rookie. "I don't know," she said softly. "I deal with psychiatric issues, Azrael. But the attending here at this facility are the best on the Planet. President Rufus saw to that. He cares for his people, unlike his father did. I'm sure Miss Barsai is getting the best care possible."

Azrael nodded, then turned to his mother. Taking her hand in his, he stepped closer. "Mom," he said gently. "Hey. It's me. Az. You know, your little Seph Spawn." Revan grinned at that and pulled up a chair, resting one hand on Akalara's leg and the other on Azrael's shoulder in a reassuring gesture. "Anyway, Revan's here, too. We want you to wake up, okay? 'Cause we love you...right, Rev?"

"Absolutely," the blond swordsman said, giving Akalara's thigh a gentle squeeze. "More than anything."

Azrael turned his gaze to the doctor. "Is it okay if I get up there with her?" he asked timidly.

Dr. Irving smiled and nodded her head. "Yeah, I don't see a problem with that," she answered gently.

The boy smiled and begin pulling the covers back so he could crawl under them with his mother. He started to kick off his sneakers, when he looked back to the bed and paused. The medical staff had put Akalara in a pair of hospital issued pajamas; the paper thin kind that resembled surgeon's scrubs. And when Azrael had pulled back the paper thin blanket that covered her, he noticed that the shirt of the pajamas had ridden up a bit, revealing Akalara's normally smooth abdomen. However, it was no longer smooth. Covering the once unmarked flesh was a series of nasty, red scars; deep cuts that had begun to heal, leaving their mark on her body.

"What?" Azrael cried out, running his hand over his mother's stomach.

Revan leaned forward, his eyes closing in shock. "Ak," he whispered, lowering his lips to the scars adorning her flesh.

"So, she's been cutting herself as well," Dr. Irving murmured. She picked up Akalara's chart and made a notation on it. "This is something that could have easily been taken care of with a Cure materia or a potion. She's opted to keep the scars."

"Why?" Azrael asked desperately. "Why would she do something like this?"

Dr. Irving reached across and patted Azrael gently on the cheek. "People cut themselves for a number of reasons, Azrael," she explained. "Some do it for attention, so that people will comment on the scars. Others, masochists, do it for the thrill of pain. And still others do it as a way to control what they feel. It's a way for them to take control of one aspect of their lives when it seems like everything else is spinning out of control."

"Which is what Akalara is doing," Revan stated.

"So it seems."

Azrael stared down at his mother and climbed up onto the bed beside her, tucking the covers back around them both and cradling her head in his arms. "It's okay, Mom," he whispered. "Whatever's going on, you don't have to go through it alone. You'll never be alone. You'll always have me. I promise."

* * *

Rude opened his eyes, blinking them rapidly to try and adjust to the flourescent lights of the waiting room. The bright lights always bothered his eyes, which was one of the reasons he constantly wore his sunglasses. That's when he realized...his sunglasses were gone. Scowling, he tried to search for them, but found himself unable to move, both of his arms wrapped securely around two little girls, one red headed, the other black headed with red streaks. Axys and Andria were both sitting in his lap, their heads snuggled up against his chest, their arms looped around his and their hands holding each others. Rude didn't bother repressing a smile as he planted a kiss to each girl's head, holding them more securely against him as they slept. How he became their bed was beyond him. He didn't even remember Axys coming over by them. Which made him wonder...where were the girls' respective parents?

Looking around, he spotted them. Now, if Rude had been any other man on the Planet, what he saw probably would have sent him into a jealous rage. But, being who he was and with what he was seeing and with the knowledge he was privy to, what he saw only made him smile in amusement. Kandi was laying on the floor, sound asleep, her arms, legs and hair tangled together with Reno. He knew, ever since the Nibelheim incident, that those two always turned to each other for comfort. They had been all they had at that time. Even though Rude had been Reno's partner then as well, he still knew why they were instantly drawn to each other in times of need. When Zack and Sephiroth were reported KIA, Kandi and Reno were in each other's arms, comforting each other. Now, with Niki and Akalara in the hospital, they were back in their old familiar positions.

"Why is Daddy and Aunt Kandi sleeping together?" Axys asked groggily.

Andria stirred at that and looked down at her mom. "Uh...Daddy Rude?" she asked, her voice scratchy from sleep.

"It's how they deal with their pain," Rude explained. "They draw comfort from each other. It's been that way for years."

"Doesn't that...bug you?" Axys asked, almost afraid that the big man would want to kill her father.

Rude shook his head and smiled, hugging the girls again. "Not at all," he answered truthfully. "You guys hungry?"

Axys nodded instantly, as did Andria. Rude nodded as well. "Then get off my legs," he grumbled. "They're asleep. You twerps are heavy."

"Hey!" Andria said indignantly.

Axys stepped on his toes for that one. "Meanie."

Rude chuckled and stood, stretching his cramped legs and cracking his back and neck. "Come on," he said. "See if Paulo wants to come, too. Looks like Nilto and Randak already took Kaya and Damian down to the cafeteria."

Axys went over to get Paulo while Andria watched the bald man kneel beside her mother and his best friend. He kissed Kandi gently on the forehead and gave Reno's shoulder and affectionate squeeze before raising back to his feet and holding his hand out to her, which she instantly grabbed. When the other two Spawn had joined them, they walked down to the cafeteria for some high octane coffee and what would hopefully be halfway consumable food.

* * *

Akalara's eyes fluttered open, instantly blinded by a bright light. At first she thought she was still in the Lifestream, but the continuous beeping from the heart monitor told her that she was not. She felt a heaviness on her chest and looked down, smiling at the silver head snuggled against her. Breathing in deeply of Azrael's hair, she smiled in relief of the sheer peace his presense brought her. Looking down the bed, she saw Revan sleeping in a chair beside her. Akalara's heart swelled, tears coming unbidden to her eyes. She didn't fight them as she normally did.

This was her second chance. This was her fresh start. She was going to do things right this time. She didn't have to be strong all the time. Showing weakness to those she loved...was okay.

And that in itself was liberating.

Looking over her son's head, she saw the matching twin bed where she knew Niki would be. She was still bandaged as she had been in the pool of the Lifestream. But this time, she was moving and whimpering.

Akalara gently moved Azrael over, careful not to wake him. She wasn't hooked up to any IV's and the heart monitor she had heard when she first woke up was attached to Niki. Climbing out of her bed, a chill shot up her spine as her bare feet hit the cold tile of the hospital room. She made her way over to Niki's bedside and took her hand.

"Niki," she said gently.

Niki's bandaged face turned toward her and Akalara could see the tears welling up in her hazel eyes. "It hurts?" Akalara asked with sympathy.

The blood soaked locks moved on the pillow as Niki nodded, keening quietly, unable to open her mouth.

"Okay," Akalara said, taking one of Niki's hands in hers and pressing the 'Call' button on Niki's bed. "Okay, Sweetie, hang on. I'm calling the nurse."

Niki made a noise that signalled she understood and squeezed Akalara's hand tightly. The green haired woman bent over and placed of soft kiss to Niki's bandaged head. "I'll make this up to you, Niki-chan," she whispered. "I promise."

Niki shook her head, telling her with her eyes that she didn't have to. Lifting her hands, she used Turk sign to signal 'friends'. Akalara smiled and wiped her eyes. "Yeah," she said, taking her hand again. "Friends."

The door to their room opened gently and a nurse entered. "Ah!" she exclaimed. "You're both awake!"

"She's in a lot of pain," Akalara explained. "Can you give her something?"

The nurse nodded and took out a syringe. Niki's eyes widened and a muffled scream escaped her bandaged lips. She began thrashing against the bed, trying to get away from the needle. Akalara took both hands in hers, feeling that the IV was in Niki's left hand and covered with bandages. "Niki! Niki, she's not going to give you a shot," the green haired Turk said soothingly, knowing Niki didn't realize she had an IV put in her while she was unconscious, the only way to get near her with a needle.

Niki looked up at her with wide, scared eyes. "I promise," Akalara said. She turned to the nurse and nodded, watching as the woman inserted the pain killer into Niki's IV tube. Niki instantly relaxed, her eyes taking on a glazed, drugged look to them. Akalara grinned. "Better?"

Niki nodded and Akalara could have sworn she saw her grin. She turned back to the nurse. "Can you get Reno, please?" she asked. She looked back at Niki and smiled. "I'm sure her boyfriend will be relieved to know she's okay."

"Of course," the nurse said, smiling as she left.

Niki looked up at Akalara, question in her eyes. Akalara simply smiled. "We agreed in the Lifestream," she explained. "No more fighting. I love Revan. Reno will always be my friend and I'll always love him as such; but you...worship him. You win, Niki-chan. He's yours."

"Mom?!"

Akalara turned to her son and smiled. "Hey Baby," she said, squeezing Niki's hands before she released them and took her son in her arms. "Azrael, I'm so sorry."

Azrael just buried his face in her neck and cried. Revan was now awake as well and rose to his feet, pulling Akalara into his arms. "I'm sorry, Ak," he whispered hoarsely. "I shouldn't have..."

"It's okay," she answered, still stroking her son's soft silver hair. "There's a lot of 'shouldn't haves', most of which could have avoided this entire situation. But things happen for a reason."

"Why did you jump?" Azrael wailed in between sobs. "Why did you want to leave me?!"

The doors burst opened and Reno rushed in. Taking in the situation, he saw Akalara lowering herself back to her bed, Azrael craddled in her arms and Revan sitting behind her, arms wrapped around her tightly. Then he saw the other bed, the pathetic bandaged figure lying there, pretty hazel eyes filled with tears.

"Niki," he choked out, going to her and climbing on the bed with her. He kissed her hands, each one of her fingers and anywhere else he could. "Thank Odin! I thought I'd lost you."

"Reno," Akalara said. The redhead looked over at her, eyes shining with unshed tears. Akalara bit her lip. "I'm so sorry this happened."

Reno stared at her hard, deciding which one of his 'Bitch Akalara Out for Hurting Niki' speeches to go with. Then he remembered, he'd almost lost her, too. "Ak," he breathed out. "You know, I'm just so glad you both are okay...nothing else matters. Nothing."

Akalara smiled and nodded, holding her son close to her again. Azrael turned his face toward her, tears falling freely from his eyes. "Why, Mom?" he pressed again. "Why did you want to kill yourself and leave me?"

"Oh, Az," she said, pressing a kiss to his hair. "I didn't want to. I wanted to protect you."

"Protect me?" he asked, confused. "How? By killing yourself and leaving me an orphan with no where to go?"

"No," she continued, tears falling from her own eyes now. "I didn't want you to have to watch me executed for killing Niki." She wiped her eyes and sniffed, accepting a tissue from Reno. She smiled at him as he held Niki as gently as he could while they both listened to her story. "If Niki had died, I would have been eliminated for her murder since it was my bomb that killed her. I didn't want you to have to go through that, Az. I thought it would be easier on you if I took my own life. Turks who kill other Turks can't be trusted and must be eliminated."

Reno's jaw set and he nodded reluctantly. "She's right," he said softly. "She's absolutely right."

"But it was an accident," Akalara explained. "I never meant for Niki to find the bomb and open it. I was going to dispose of it. I just didn't do it in time, and for that I am sorry."

Revan kissed her neck, lacing their fingers together. "I believe you," he said gently. "I honestly do."

"Me too," Azrael said, holding her tightly.

Niki squeezed Reno's hands and he turned, looking into her pleading hazel eyes. She cocked her head at him, trying to make him understand. Reno smiled gently and nodded. "I believe you, too, Ak," he told her. "And I promise, nothing's going to happen to you."

"Except, you will be seeing a psychiatrist."

Tseng came into the room, expression tired and weary, yet relieved to see his two Turks alive. "Akalara, we'll be getting you some professional help," he told her. "And it is not optional. Cooperating with Dr. Irving is the only way you will salvage your career with the Turks. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Sir," she answered with a nod of her head.

Tseng's lips curved upward ever so slightly. He turned to Niki. "As for you, Niki," he said, stepping closer. "President Rufus has ordered some of the finest reconstructive surgeons on the Planet to come and restore your upper body. You'll be good as new in no time."

Azrael looked up at the Wutain and then turned back to his mother. "Tseng, Sir," he began, lifting his mother's shirt up and revealing her cuts. "Do you think...do you think they can help Mom with these?"

Tseng took in the scarring with repressed shock. "I'm sure they can, Azrael," he reassured him. He looked at his green haired Turk again. "It seems you and Dr. Irving have much to discuss."

Akalara lowered her head. "Yes, Sir."

* * *

_Two Months Later:_

Akalara lowered her sunglasses and drank from the fruity concoction in the coconut shell, watching as her lover taught her son how to surf in the ocean of Costa del Sol. The first month after being discharged from the hospital, she was put on administrative leave, with pay, while she underwent an intense psychiatric evaluation and treatment. Dr. Irving, or Kyrn as she preferred to be called, was an excellent psychiatrist. Normally, Akalara hated all shrinks, but Kyrn was different. She did not instantly prescribe medication to a patient. If she could treat them with natural means, she would. And with Akalara, she had.

Akalara had spoken to Kyrn about her past. How she was beat by her father, left to fend for herself at the age of four, was in street gangs, homeless for most of her life, becoming a topless dancer, meeting, falling in love with and having a child with ShinRa's famous general, only to lose him tragically before she could even tell him of his pending fatherhood. The walls she had built up to protect herself were dismantling themselves, slowly but surely. Kyrn had recommended a hiatus for Akalara and her family, which consisted of Revan and Azrael. Tseng had readily agreed, wanting to help his people in anyway he could. And so, in an all expenses paid vacation, the three had found themselves 'stationed' in Costa del Sol for a month.

They had recieved word a few days ago that Niki's surgeries had been successful and that the doctors had prescribed rest and relaxation for her as well while she recovered. She and Reno would be arriving at the exotic beach paradise within the hour.

* * *

Rude set the chopper down easily on the helipad in Costa del Sol's harbor, adjusting his sunglasses as his girlfriend helped get the luggage out of the back for Reno and Niki. Niki, garbed in a white sundress and floppy sunhat to protect her still recovering face, leaned over and kissed the bald man on his head. "Thanks, Chrome Dome!" she giggled.

Rude just shook his head and grinned. He looked back at Reno and arched and eyebrow. "Take care, Partner," he said. "We'll pick you up when we get the word."

"Thanks, yo," Reno said with a grin. "You know I'm eating this shit up! Paid vacation with my girl? Nothing better, Bro!"

"Ah, shut up, you Assfuck," Kandi grumbled, shoving the bags at the redhead. "I hope your fair skin fucking burns. Or you at least turn all freckly."

"He'd be cute with freckles!" Niki squealed, jumping up and down, her sundress bouncing up over her thighs.

Reno grinned and kiss his girlfriend's smooth cheek. Kandi snickered at that. Reno glared at her. "What is so godsdamn funny?" he snapped.

"Reno, you ever wonder where the skin graft came from for Niki's reconstructive surgery?" she asked, hands on hips.

"Huh?"

Kandi rolled her eyes. "Let's just say, it's a good thing you think her ass is so cute, aight?" she said. She stepped forward and kissed the redhead on the cheek. "Take care, Reno. You know I love you."

Reno hugged her and pulled her hair a bit. "Love you, too, Babe," he said, kissing her forehead.

Kandi slugged his arm and turned to Niki, pulling her into a huge hug. "You too," she said gently, stroking her face soothingly. "Use lots of sunscreen."

Niki nodded and giggled before kissing Kandi and the cheek and taking Reno's hand. They started off down the helipad when Niki suddenly stopped. "Oh!" she exclaimed, dropping Reno's hand and running back toward Kandi. "I almost forgot!"

"What's that?" the red streaked Turk asked with a grin.

"Remember when me and Ak were in the hospital?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah," Kandi said, rolling her eyes. "Kinda stressful for everyone, Niki-chan."

Niki giggled. "Well, Ak and I were in the Lifestream for a bit," she said, cocking her head to the side, allowing her unbound hair to shift sweetly. "Just wanted you to know...Zack sends his love."

Kandi blinked at this information. "W-what?" she whispered.

"And he says if you need him, you know where to find him," Niki added. She giggled and grinned again. "See you in a few weeks!"

Kandi stared after them for a bit, still shocked by what Niki had to say. "Babe?" a low voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Yeah?"

Rude grinned and lowered his sunglasses. He killed the engine to the chopper and climbed out, shutting all doors and compartments up and locking them. He took her hand in his and kissed her gently. "Think Andi can spend the night with Kaya?" he asked.

Kandi grinned up at him, a mischievious gleam in her eyes. "Probably," she answered. "Axys is already over there since Re's here. She'd more than likely beg to anyway. Why?"

Rude shrugged. "Thought it be nice to spend a day or two here," he replied.

"What'll we tell Tseng?" she asked.

Rude grinned and lowered his sunglasses, looking her straight in the eyes and flashing a piece of plastic in front of them. Tseng's company credit card. "Thanks for vacation?"

The red streaked woman threw her head back and laughed. "Ever had sex on a beach?" she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Rude kissed her possesively and grabbed her hand. "Nope," he answered, leading her into the resort town. "I say we get to it. What do you say?"

"I say...I love you."

The bald man grinned. "I love you, too," he answered. "First things first...sunscreen. Burnt scalps are a bitch."

Somewhere down the beach, they heard a scream of "ULTIMA!" and saw a bright flash of blue-green light, followed by very masculine screams and then the unmistakable sound of Reno saying, "NIKI! No! That's MASTERED Ultima!" Followed by Niki screaming, "He shouldn't have grabbed my ass!" Then Reno returning with, "But he just touched your face...oh. OH! OH SHIT!!"

Ah yes...things were finally back to normal...well...not normal...more like...pseudo normal...fuck it. Things were as they were. Nothing more. Nothing less.

And it was fine.

* * *

_**A/N: Oh...my...GOD! This beast is finally finished! No, no! Not the fic! FFR! And fangirls and fanboys, this is the last FFR. The end of a saga, of an era. (weeps momentarily) And heaven-monument, there's your Ultima. Well, a taste of it at least. I'll do more with it soon. Now, call of Lulu and Vivi. Please? And reviews are most welcomed. HOORAY!**_


	58. Recon Mission I

**_A/N: So, FFR was a monster, ya? Let's get back to the assignments and assassinations, shall we?_**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

* * *

Widdow removed the wrapper of the sucker and examined it in a vain attempt to alleviate her boredom. "How many licks _does_ it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?" she asked herself, propping her head up in her hand. She stuck the sucker in her mouth and sighed, beginning to count. This was so not what she had signed up for when she and Black had joined the Turks. Things were supposed to be fun and exciting and dangerous and she was supposed to kill people. Not do paperwork. Granted, the Turks were now working for one of the good guys, but didn't that mean that there were some bad guys that needed offed now?

Someone?

Anyone?

Or some really intensive interrogation? Or some espionage? Undercover work? Information retrieval?

A donut run?

"I'm _bored_," she whined, her head slipping from her hand to land on her desk.

Black looked up from his computer and grinned at her. "Did you finish your paperwork, Wid?" he asked.

"If I didn't are you going to tell on me, you sniveling rat bastard?" she replied.

"Ouch," he exclaimed, clutching his heart as if mortally wounded. "You hurt me, Sis. You truly do." He closed his laptop and started unhooking it. "In fact, you've hurt me so much, that I'm going to request that Tseng send me out on this mission with someone less cutting."

Widdow pushed back from her desk and leapt over it, tackling her brother and wrapping her arms around his legs. "Mission?!" she nearly shrieked. "Oh my fucking gods, what mission and you sure as fuck are taking me or I'll...I'll..."

"You'll what?" Black asked, narrowing his eyes.

Widdow smirked evilly up at him. "I'll tell Mom," she hissed.

Black snarled. "Get your things," he ordered, placing his laptop in it's case and straightening his jacket. Widdow squealled and grabbed her guns and jacket, following her brother out of their office.

"Finally!" she said, crunching into her Tootsie Pop. "It seems like with all the shit with Niki and Akalara, that things have just...stopped. It's action time!"

"I know," Black said. "I mean, I know the Turks don't need to kill everyday, but Shiva, this was getting dull."

Widdow giggled as she tossed her naked sucker stick into the trash can. Suddenly, she stopped and glanced back at the receptacle. "Damn it!" she exclaimed with a frown.

Black stopped and looked back at her. "What is it?" he asked.

"I lost count!"

* * *

"Can you hear me now?"

"Black, quit being a fucking retard," Widdow hissed into the hidden microphone on her back tooth. "We've already tested the equipment. You do you're thing, and I'll do him."

"Ew, yuck," Black said. "I really should have gotten a different partner if I'm going to be forced to listen to them have sex. Blech!"

"Shut up," the shorter of the red-haired twins muttered. "Go ahead signal is 'Time to Play'; got it?"

"Memorized," he answered. "I'll signal you as soon as I'm finished."

"Right. I'm going in."

"Mom'll be so proud, you little hooker," Black snickered. He sobered up quickly. "If you need back up..."

"I've got it, Bro," she said. "Now shut up."

Black was silent as he listened to Widdow knock on the door and enter the room. He hated the fact that his sister was undercover as a prostitute. He hated it even more that she was good at this specific role play. Seduction was one of her specialties. She was to go in and distract the tech guy while Black inserted a data retrieval chip into the company's mainframe, giving the Turks access to all the internal emails and information stored in the computers of the employees. The company, Data Nex, Inc., was rumored to be trying to steal some of ShinRa's new alternate energy sources. The purpose of the chip was to find out what information they had and who the instigators were. After that information had been obtained, the ones responsible would be eliminated. Currently, Black was tapped into the company's low budget security system and running an empty feed so that no one would be able to tell when he entered the mainframe room. Additionally, no one knew that Widdow was in the tech guy's office, getting ready to seduce him. That camera showed the guy sitting at his desk, clicking away at his computer.

"Who are you?" came what Black assumed was the tech guy. "You're not supposed to be here."

"Ken sent me," she purred. Black ground his teeth. "He's says you've been working too hard and needed a little break."

"K-Ken sent you?" he asked, and Black could tell Widdow was already working her magic. What a web that that girl could weave; and yet a corpse is what she'd leave. Black shook his head. Damn his poet's soul sometimes.

"Yes, Ken Adams," she replied, deep breathes coming in clear over his headset. "You know, the vice-president of this company? He and I go way back."

"You're a hooker?"

"Call girl," she corrected as she lowered his zipper. "Any objections?"

A sharp intake of breath and a strangled, "No" could be heard as Widdow utilized her charms on the guy. "Good," she purred again. Black heard cloth being removed and knew another guy was getting ready to get a good look at his twin sister's assets. And now, he was in the mood to kill. "Time to play."

Growling, Black dropped from the vents into the mainframe room, knowing his sister was in the office connected to the room he was now in. Killing later, chip insertion now. Black wasted little time accessing the mainframe and inserting the chip inside, moans and heavy breathing doing nothing to his concentration, except spurring him on. Closing the computer back up, he entered the tech guy's office. Thankfully, Widdow was still partially clothed and only making out with the guy. Silently, he stepped behind the man and snapped his neck, killing him instantly.

Widdow sighed and rolled her eyes. "Black, we weren't supposed to kill him," she chastised as she climbed off the guy and straighted her skirt. "Just get in, get the chip in and get out."

Black shook his head and cast Life on the guy. "I just really wanted the satisfaction of killing this guy," he grumbled. "Keep in mind, Wid, you're my sister. Any guy who touches you, I reserve the right to kill. Besdies, this way, you didn't have to fuck him. And now, when he wakes up, he'll just think this was some sort of dream."

"I hate overprotective brothers," she said with a grin as they climbed into the vents to exit the building.

Black returned the smile. "I love you, too, Sis."

* * *

**Mission Report: Information retrieval chip was inserted into Data Nex, Inc.'s mainframe to extract information regarding the theft of ShinRa technology.**

**Turks Assigned: Black and Widdow Cambria**

**Status: Second Level Rookies**

**Specialites: Both - Undercover ops, tag team fighting, martial arts; Black - Hacking, racing; Widdow - Seduction, poison**

**Target: Data Nex, Inc.**

**Death by: N/A**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

**_A/N: Good to be back. Reviews are loved._**


	59. Partnered Mission VI

**_A/N: Mixing up the partners a bit. You know, everyone does have their own partner, but for special assignments and such, Turks will work with who the Bossman assigns them to, right Tseng-sama?_**

**_Tseng: Or else I kill them._**

**_AT: I love you._**

**_Tseng: Yes, I know._**

**_Disclaimer: Plot is mine, insanity is mine, some OC's are mine...the rest belongs to Squeenix._**

* * *

Anita Fitzgerald tapped her pen on her desk and looked up at her clock, sighing in frustration. Reaching for her cellphone, she hit the Send button and called her contact again.

_"Hello?"_

"Where are my packages?" she yelled into the receiver. "I expected them to arrive over an hour ago!"

_"There were some complications,"_ the person on the other end explained, continuing quickly when Anita drew in a deep breath for a vicious verbal assault. _"But don't worry! We'll have it in there in a hour...tops. Hey! There's that new Wutain nail salon that opened up by your office. Go get one of their spa pedicures and by the time you're done, we'll be there. It'll relax you and kill some time so you don't call me bitchin' every five minutes. My treat, too."_

Anita sighed and kicked off her shoes, looking down at her chipped toenail polish. "Fine," she hissed. "But those packages had better be here when I get back. I've paid top gil for those old ShinRa files. I need them to back up my expose of the continuing corruptness of the company."

_"Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, whatever,"_ was the response. _"I'll call the salon and tell them you're coming in. It'll be taken care of and the stuff will be in your office when you get back, okay? Okay. Later."_

Anita glared at the phone when the line was disconnected. "Insolent little over grown sperm," she mumbled. Slipping her shoes back on, she called down to the receptionist of the Midgar Daily Post, the oldest newspaper company still in business after Meteorfall. "Sandy, hold my calls. I'll be back in an hour."

* * *

The nail salon was one of those up in a day things. It was in a strip mall down the street from the Midgar Daily Post and had a long line of tables for manicures and spa chairs for pedicures. The bell chimed as Anita entered, a Wutain man with a mask over his face doing a manicure for a woman with blue hair and a Wutain boy about 13 or 14 sweeping up the floor. The boy looked up and smiled, then looked over his shoulder and said something in Wutain. The man looked up and removed his mask.

"You need manicure?" he asked with a heavy Wutain accent.

Anita shook her head. "A pedicure," she corrected. "I'm Anita Fitzgerald. Someone was supposed to call in for me."

"Okay, I get my friend," the man said with a quick nod. "She do pedicure. You pick color, she be out soon, okay?"

"Sure," Anita said as the man began to speak quickly in Wutain to the boy, who nodded and rushed to the back room.

The blue haired woman looked over and grinned at her. "I sure as hell don't know what they are saying, but they do awesome pedicures. I got one here yesterday and came back today for a manicure."

Anita examined the woman's toenails, amazed at the intricate designs on them. "That was done here?" she asked. The blue haired woman nodded. "I'm impressed."

"I'm Kailani, by the way," the blue haired woman said. "I'd shake your hand, but..."

Anita laughed. "No need," she said. "I'm Anita Fitzgerald."

"Oh, I've read your articles in the Midgar Daily Post!" Kailani exclaimed. "I'm dying to see what else you dig up on those ShinRa bastards. I can't believe they are trying to pass themselves off as a Planet loving company now. What hypocrites."

Anita beamed. "Thank you!" she said. "Check out the paper in about two days and you should see some really interesting information in there."

"Got some good dirt, huh?" Kailani asked.

"You have no clue," Anita replied.

A Wutain girl, about eighteen years old, came out of the back, followed by the boy. They were speaking rapidly in Wutain and the girl was carrying a basket of pedicure tools. "Okay, I do you pedicure," she said smiling at Anita. "You pick color?"

Anita surveyed the colors and designs displayed on the wall and pointed to a maroon and gold design. "That one will be good," she said, as she climbed into the chair. The Wutain girl nodded and began filling the basin of the chair with water and a mixture of exfoliating creams and moisturizers.

"That pretty color," the girl said. "Look good on you feet."

Anita smiled as she slid her feet into the warm water, sighing in contentment. She looked down at the silver streaked black hair of the Wutain girl and groaned as she began rubbing her tired feet.

"You wear too tall shoes," she told her as she rubbed her arches. "They hurt feet bad. No good."

"I agree, no good at all," Anita said, blissfully closing her eyes. "But this feels wonderful."

The girl smiled. "I glad you like," she said. "You tell friends. Tell them come in and see N.C."

"N.C.?" she asked. "That's not very Wutain."

"My name hard to say. N.C. easy, okay?" she pointed to the boy now gathering the colors needed for Anita's toes. "That Nate, my brother. And that Wei, a friend."

"Ah, a boyfriend?" Anita asked coyly.

N.C. giggled and blushed demurely. "No, no, family friend," she corrected. "I date musican."

"Oh, a musician?" Anita inquired. "Interesting. Anyone I know."

"Demyx, Organization XIII," she said, still giggling. "He one hot tamale!"

Anita and Kailani laughed at that. "I've seen him in concert," the blue haired woman said. "He is hot."

"She think she date him," Wei snorted, rolling his eyes as he filed his customer's fingernails. "Has posters up all in her room. Sad fangirl."

"I date him!" N.C. yelled. "He my boyfriend! I call now and prove it!"

Wei began shouting at her in Wutain and N.C. began shouting back, Nate looking back and forth between them nervously. N.C. grabbed the nail color from Nate and turned back to Anita's feet. "He stupid man, think I no date Demyx," she grumbled, smirking up at Anita. "He just jealous 'cause he bi and he want my hot tamale."

"I no jealous!"

"You so jealous, Wei-san!" N.C. giggled. "He mine. You no touch. Just looky, okay?"

Anita laughed as she watched N.C. apply the first color to her big toe. "You two fight like brother and sister," she commented.

"Ah, he no my brother. He just stupid friend of family, jealous man," she giggled. She held up Anita's foot and examined the toes. "So pretty! What you think?"

Anita had slumped over in her chair, her breathing stopped. "Okay, she's dead," N.C. gathering her supplies. Nate went to the door and turned the 'Open' sign to 'Closed' while Wei and Kai gathered what they needed.

"No prints?" Wei asked.

"Light it up," Kai smirked, taking out her lighter and throwing an acryllic soaked towel on Anita's body. She examined her nails. "Damn Wei! It's a good thing you're a Turk. You suck at manicures. I'm glad I got my pedicure at a real salon!"

Wei grinned as the four of them piled out of the back of the salon and into the waiting SUV. "Yeah, I know," he said, starting the vehicle up and driving away, just as distant fire engines could be heard. "Magni asked me to paint her toenails one time. Never again."

N.C. stared at him. "But...I thought Magni was dating Rufus," she commented.

"And you're dating Demyx," Wei said, changing the subject. "And I am so not jealous!"

N.C. grinned as she and Kai both replied, "Are so!"

Nate shook his head. "I should have got a different summer job."

* * *

Two days later, Kai plopped her feet up on the table in the break-room, flipping through the pages of the Midgar Daily Post. Just as Anita had said, she found something very interesting in it's pages.

An obituary for Senior Writer, Anita Fitzgerald.

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated using poison fingernail laquer. Poison was absorbed into the system and target expired.**

**Turks Assigned: Wei Yao, Kailani "Kai" Simmus, Nicole "N.C." Solendir**

**Assisted by Summer Intern: Nate Solendir**

**Status: Second Level Rookies**

**Specialities: Wei - Hand to hand martial arts and knives (most kinds); Kai - Hand to hand combat, computers and poison; N.C. - Sword fighting, martial arts, hacking, explosions, some firearms; Nate - Sweeping and object retrieval**

**Target: Anita Fitzgerald, Senior Writer for the Midgar Daily Post; had access to and was revealing incriminating ShinRa secrets**

**Death by: Poison**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

Nate glared at the mission report his sister finished writing. "Why didn't you just say I was a freaking gopher?"

"Good idea!"

**Revised Mission Report: Target eliminated using poison fingernail laquer. Poison was absorbed into the system and target expired. **

**Turks Assigned: Wei Yao, Kailani "Kai" Simmus, Nicole "N.C." Solendir**

**Assisted by Summer Intern: Nate Solendir**

**Status: Second Level Rookies**

**Specialities: Wei - Hand to hand martial arts and knives (most kinds); Kai - Hand to hand combat, computers and poison; N.C. - Sword fighting, martial arts, hacking, explosions, some firearms; Nate - Gopher**

**Target: Anita Fitzgerald, Senior Writer for the Midgar Daily Post; had access to and was revealing incriminating ShinRa secrets**

**Death by: Poison**

**Mission Successful**

Another glare from Nate, this time directed at his sister. "I hate you," he grumbled.

N.C. laughed and kissed his forehead. "Love you, Bro. You did good."

Nate, against his wishes, smiled. "Thanks."

* * *

**_A/N: Summer vacation for the Turk Spawn! Which means, they get to hang out at the office sometimes. Nate, being the oldest, gets to go out on some missions. How fun! Reviews are loved! Thanks for reading!_**


	60. Partnered Mission VII

_**A/N: I was bored at work on Friday and came up with a couple new ideas for this fic. Hooray for boredom and my insatiable desire to alleviate it! WOOT!**_

**_Disclaimer: Yep, I own it. (is immediately arrested and thrown into International Prison for copyright infringement and is 'tortured' by a slew of characters I've claimed to own) You're kidding? THIS is my punishment? Woo hoo! MORE! XD_**

* * *

Feather walked down the street with Black, a smile on her face as she ate the ice cream cone he had bought her on their lunch date. Like her partner, Niki, Feather preferred the pleated mini skirt for her uniform rather than the black slacks. She had great legs. And she liked showing them off.

Black squeezed her hand and bent down to kiss her cheek. "Having fun, Baby?" he asked.

Feather giggled and licked the ice cream cone suggestively. "Uh huh," she purred, stepping closer to him. "But I always do when I'm with you."

Black arched a light red eyebrow. "You're not trying to manipulate me, are you?" he teased.

"Nah, I already did that," she said with a grin, tossing her light brown curls over her shoulder. "Just kidding."

Black stopped in front of an electronics store. "Hey, let's go in here real quick," he said with excitement. "I need to get a new graphics card for my laptop."

"You go ahead," Feather said, still eating her ice cream. "Food's not allowed in there."

"Will you be okay out here by yourself?" he asked. Feather rolled her eyes and Black laughed. "Right. Turk babe. Gotcha." He kissed her lips sweetly. "Be right back. If you get done with that before I'm out, come in, okay?"

"Okay," Feather said, sitting down on a bench outside of the store. Her ice cream was starting to melt, so she began eating it quicker, giggling as she licked it off the back of her hand.

She glanced over as someone sat beside her. He was a hottie, that was for sure, but his presence just screamed arrogant prick. Feather smiled slightly and scooted farther away. The guy laughed.

"Hey, you got a little ice cream on your nose," he said, wiping it off with his finger and licking it off. "Mint chocolate chip. Nice."

Feather rolled her eyes and turned her gaze to across the street.

"I'm Jason," he told her.

"Good for you," Feather said, focusing on her ice cream cone.

"What, don't I get your name?" he asked. "That seems impolite."

"Look," Feather said with a huff. "I'm waiting out here for my boyfriend, so you can just turn off the 'get the girl' mode, okay? You can sit here, but don't try to pick me up because it won't work."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," he said with a smirk. "Besides, I already know you...Feather."

Her head snapped around. "How did you know my name?" she asked.

"I saw you out one night and I followed you home," he explained. "I saw you check your mail box, so I found out your name on that along with your apartment number. The only thing I don't have, is your phone number to call you. Wanna give it to me?"

Feather stood up and tossed her ice cream in the trash, going inside the electronics store with Black. She attached herself to his side, glancing behind her and the smirking Jason still on the bench.

"Hey, Babe," Black said, looking over at her. He noticed her face was pale and wrapped his arm around her tightly. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head. "I just found out I'm being stalked," she said, looking back out the door. Jason was gone.

Black's eyes narrowed and he marched out the door, looking around. Feather followed him and grabbed his hand. "He's gone," she said. "But he's probably not far. He knows where I live, he knows my name."

"Come on," he said, squeezing her hand and leading her back down the street to Turk HQ. "Let's go talk to Tseng."

* * *

Tseng steepled his fingers and nodded. "I grant you leave to handle the situation as you see fit," he told Feather. "I won't have one of my Turks in potential danger. The fact that this man knows this much about you without you even knowing is alarming in itself. Take care of it."

Feather nodded. "Thank you, Sir," she said rising to her feet. "Permission to take back up."

Tseng's lips twitched into a small parody of a smile. "Granted," he replied. "Take Black. He's been informed of the situation already."

"Thank you, Sir."

Feather left the Bossman's office and knocked on Black and Widdow's office door, sticking her head inside. "Black, we've got an assignment," she said with a grin.

Black nodded and shrugged on his jacket, giving Widdow a quick wave before grabbing Feather's hand. "Tseng give the go ahead?" he asked.

"I'm to take care of it as I see fit," she smirked, leading him to her and Niki's office. Niki was still on medical leave after her and Akalara's last battle for the redhead, so the office was solely hers. Well, except for the mice that inhabited Niki's desk. And Kali, who was actually feeding the mice and The Major. Feather grinned. Yes, The Major would help in this mission.

Black looked around the office warily. "I can't believe you haven't requested a new office," he said, eyeing mice waiting in line for the potty chair.

"Nah," Feather said with an affectionate pat to Kali's head. "You get used to it." She made her way over to The Major's tank. "Black, this is The Major."

Black looked at the golf ball sized octopus. "Whoa! He's so tiny!" he exclaimed.

The octopus made an agitated motion and began squirting out ink on the tank's glass surface. Feather giggled as The Major wrote out 'Bloody Idiot' and flipped Black off with one of it's tentacles.

"Okay, that is weird," Black said shaking his head. "Why are we here anyway? We need to get that asshole that's stalking you."

"Well, The Major is a blue-ringed octopus," Feather said, going over to Niki's desk. "And his ink is wicked poisonous to humans. Niki...keeps it in a Waterman fountain pen somewhere in this mess of a desk."

"So, you're going to get the pen and..."

"Write my phone number on Jason's hand and kill him," Feather giggled. She tapped one of the mice on the shoulder, the one with a pointy hat and a red robe. "Hey, Mortimer? Where does Niki keep The Major's pen?"

Mortimer squeaked and scurried over to the left of the desk, dropping down to the middle drawer. He rummaged around in the back and came out with a blue-marbled fountain pen engraved with 'Major Charles Winchester' in gold lettering. Feather took the pen from the mouse and smiled, patting him gently. "Thanks, Mortimer," she said. "I'll bring in right back. Promise."

Black shook his head. "I think she's getting to you," he said with a grin. "Not that that's a bad thing, just...different."

"Keeps you on your toes, Babe," she said, kissing his lips. "Ready?"

"Yep," he said. "Let's do this."

* * *

Feather walked alone to her apartment, knowing that Black was hidden somewhere close by. She checked her mail and leaned against the boxes, going through her bills and credit card applications. She squealed as she found her new issue of Ninja Vogue in the mail. Being into martial arts, it was a magazine she adored. Sitting down on a bench next to the mail boxes she began flipping through the pages, hoping Jason would show up soon.

He didn't disappoint as he slid in beside her.

"Now Feather," he said, draping his arm around her and squeezing her none too gently. "I'm not taking no for an answer this time. I want your phone number."

Feather rolled her eyes. "I already told you, I have a boy--"

Jason silenced her with a brutal kiss. "I don't care about your boyfriend," he growled, pulling away slightly. "He's no problem. I'll get rid of him in nothing flat. And you'll find him dead tomorrow if I don't get your number _right now_."

Feather swallowed hard, tears prickling her eyes. Oh, you so did not threaten her boyfriend. She rummaged around in her purse and found Niki's fountain pen. Grabbing Jason's hand, she scribbled a phone number on it, making sure to puncture the skin with the tip of the pen, pushing the poisonous ink into his blood stream.

"There," she spat out. "You've got it. Now, you won't hurt my boyfriend."

"Oh, I still might," he said with a malicious smile. "After that little stunt you just pulled, stabbing my hand. And besides, he stands in my way of possessing you completely."

Feather watched as he struggled to breathe, his limbs beginning to feel the affects of the paralysis. "I belong to no one," she said as he began to suffer from cardiac arrest and then simply fell over dead.

Flipping out her cell phone, she dialed the emergency number and began crying hysterically. "Help me! Please! My boyfriend just fell over and he's not breathing! We're...we're at the corner of 6th and Mako Boulevard! Please hurry!"

Hanging up, she turned around and smiled at Black who had come out of hiding, handing him the pen. "Better take this," she said, wiping her tears away. "They'll probably search me and then I'll go into betrayed girlfriend mode when we discover the phone number on his hand."

"Who's number did you write?" he asked.

"Some girl who picked on me in high school," she said with a grin. "I never liked that bitch."

Black laughed and kissed her. "See you upstairs?" he asked.

"You got it, Babe."

* * *

**Mission Report: Target eliminated by toxin of blue-ringed octopus.**

**Turk Assigned: Feather and Black**

**Status: Second Level Rookies**

**Speciality: Feather - Undercover ops, bullshit artist, improvisation, martial arts; Black - Hacking, racing, undercover ops, tag team fighting, martial arts**

**Target: Jason Mayse; discovered to be stalking Feather**

**Death by: Cardiac arrest from neurotoxin of blue-ringed octopus**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

**_A/N: This was spawned by a conversation with Niki-chan last night. She wanted Feather to have a kick ass chapter and this is what we came up with. The names for Mortimer and The Major was her ideas. Review if you like!_**


	61. Operation: Costa del Sol

**_A/N: So, I've had a couple people (cough) Serenitychan13 (cough) dantesdarkqueen (cough) asking about what is going on in Costa del Sol with Niki, Akalara, Reno, Revan and Azrael. I started thinking...'Hmmm, what IS going on with those guys?' Let's find out!_**

**_Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue, drink sake, eat pocky, be happy, me no slappy, okay? OKAY!_**

* * *

Akalara watched with pride as her son showed up both Revan and Reno with his surfing skills. Just like his father, Azrael was a natural athlete and exceeded at every physical activity he attempted. Reno had wiped out a total of fifteen times and Revan had taken to just laying on his board in the waves. Azrael was riding wave after wave with the skill of a professional.

"Mini-Seph rocks," Niki said, watching him from beneath her large sun bonnet. She grinned over at Akalara. "He's going to be a total heart-breaker when he gets older."

Akalara nodded in agreement, rummaging in her beach bag for some more sunscreen. "He already is," she said with a smile. "Andria and Axys are both crushing on him." She handed Niki the sunscreen. "Here, put more on. Your new face isn't used to seeing the sun."

Niki giggled and took the bottle of lotion. "Thanks, Ak," she said with a genuine smile. "Hey, you know, I'm glad things are good now."

Akalara took the little rookie's hand in hers and squeezed. "Me too," she said. She gestured to Reno. "Besides, he's really not worth all the trouble, is he?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that," Niki said, playfully squirting a little lotion onto Akalara's leg. She laughed. "Sorry. Now you're going to have a white splotch on your leg!"

The green haired woman laughed as well, rubbing the lotion into her skin. "Ah, that's okay," she said, jumping as Azrael's phone began to ring.

_I don't want another pretty face  
I don't want just anyone to hold  
I don't want my love to go to waste  
I want you and your beautiful soul_

Niki squealed. "That's Roxas!" she said excitedly, singing along with the song. "How cute! Demyx should let him sing more often!"

Akalara smiled and reached for the phone. "Hello, Andria," she said sweetly.

_"Hi, Aunt Ak!"_ her friend's daughter said cheerfully. _"How's Costa del Sol?"_

"Great," she answered. "We're having a great time. Would you like to talk to Azrael?"

A pause. _"Yeah, if that's okay?"_ she asked.

Akalara laughed. "Of course, Sweetheart. Just a second," she said, placing her hand over the receiver. "Niki, would you call Azrael please?"

Niki giggled and stuck her fingers in her mouth, letting out an ear piercing whistle. "AZRAEL! ANDI'S ON THE PHONE!"

_"Whoa, Niki-chan's got some lungs!"_ Andria laughed. _"Thanks, Aunt Ak!"_

"No problem," she answered as Azrael swam toward the beach. "How are things back home?"

_"Daddy Rude finally moved in!"_ Andria squealed. _"Mom, of course, freaked out and ran away for a few hours. I think she went to talk to Daddy; she came back and unpacked everything for Daddy Rude and had movers bring the rest. She trashed his recliner though."_

Akalara gasped. "Rude loved that thing," she exclaimed.

_"I know!"_ Andria giggled. _"Don't tell her, but he went down to Best Intentions and got it back. He's gonna bring in home tomorrow!"_

"Serves her right," she said, tossing a dripping Azrael a towel. "Dry off first. You'll short it out."

"Mom, give me my phone!" Azrael said, quickly patting himself dry.

Akalara grinned. "Tell your mom 'hi' for me--"

"And me!" Niki squealed.

_"Okay, I will!"_ Andria laughed. _"Bye!"_

"Here's Azrael," Akalara said, handing her son the phone.

"Finally," Azrael said, rolling his eyes and putting the phone up to his ear. "Hey Andi."

Akalara watched as her son walked up to the juice bar and talked on his phone. If things were this bad now, when he hit puberty...

"Shit," Akalara said, burying her face in her hands. "I'm in trouble."

* * *

_"When are you guys coming home?"_ Andria asked, plopping down on her bed. _"Summer's no fun without you."_

"Middle of next week, I think," Azrael answered, stirring his drink with his straw. "Niki's doing really good and Mom is, too. It's cool here, but I'm ready to come home."

_"Oh! Guess what?!"_

"What?"

_"Mom got me in working at the labs in ShinRa!"_ Andria told him. _"You will not believe how cool it is in there, Az. She says it's completely different than it was before we were born. Everything is done ethically. There is no animal or human testing. I toured a little bit today and I start next week."_

"That's so cool!" Azrael said. "I wonder if my mom will let me hang out this summer?"

_"I don't see why not,"_ Andria told him. _"Everyone else is. Nate even got to go on a mission with N.C., Wei and Kai! He said it was awesome!"_

"No way!" Azrael exclaimed. "He got to go on a mission?"

_"Yep!"_

"Did he get any action?"

_"Um, not really,"_ she replied. _"He was sweeping and stuff, but still...he got to go! N.C. offed the target."_

"How?"

_"Nail polish."_

"Lame."

_"I know, right?"_ she giggled. _"Wait until we get older. They won't know what hit 'em!"_

Azrael smirked, but it quickly fell to a glare when he saw two guys ogling his mother and Niki. "Bastards," he grumbled.

_"What?"_

"Some assholes are checking out Mom and Niki-chan," he said softly. "Hey, don't say anything for a minute. I want to hear what they are saying about them."

_"Okay."_

Azrael smiled and nodded his head, pretending he was listening to the person on the other line. He got up and went to get some napkins that were next to the two guys.

"The brunette's hot," one said, gesturing to Niki.

"Nope, I like that exotic looking one," the other moaned. "I've never seen green hair before. Wonder if it's natural?"

"Huh?"

"Does the carpet match the curtains?"

"I don't follow."

"Nevermind, Idiot," he grumbled. "So, their little boyfriends are out trying to surf. We can go over there and just...take them."

"What? You mean I don't get to try out my pick up line?"

"Those things never work!"

"I've got a good one this time!"

The smarter one sighed. "What is it?" he asked in exasperation.

The idiot cleared his throat. "Nice shoes, let's fuck."

He was answered with a slap upside the head. "Moron!" he growled. "We're on a beach. She's not wearing shoes."

"Oh."

"Okay, I'm gonna hit the john and then we're gonna grab 'em."

"Oh, good! I gotta go, too!"

"Dude, we're not girls. We don't go to the toilet in pairs."

"But I really have to go!"

"Fine! But...don't look at me this time."

"Fine."

Andria was stifling a giggle on the phone._ "Did they leave?"_ she asked.

"Yeah," Azrael said, making his way back over to his mom and Niki. "Hang on a sec, Andi. I've got a plan."

_"Okay."_

The silver haired boy went over grabbed his mom's beach bag, setting it next to Niki's. "Whoa, Az," Akalara said, watching him. "What do you need?"

"Lip balm," he said. "My lips are dry."

"Okay, just...ask next time," Akalara said as she leaned back against her beach chair and closed her eyes. Azrael glanced at Niki, who was napping. Grinning, he reached inside the clinically insane Turk's bag and snagged her bottle of pain pills.

"Thanks, Mom," he said, pecking her cheek before heading back to the juice bar and the unattended drinks of the two losers. "Hey Andi?"

_"Yeah?"_

"Percocet," he said. "How much to knock a guy out?"

_"Where'd you get Percocet?"_ she asked.

"Niki's pain pills," he answered, opening the bottle. "And they're in capsule form."

_"What's the dosage?"_ she asked. _"It should be on the bottle in milligrams."_

Azrael looked. "Uh, it says 1000mg," he told her. "I'm gonna dissolve it in their drinks."

_"Are they alcoholic?"_

"More than likely."

_"Hmm,"_ she said. _"Put about six in each one. The maximum daily dose for an adult is 4000mg, so 6000mg with alcohol should knock them out, but not kill them."_

"What if I want to kill them?"

_"Az..."_

"Just kidding," he said mixing the grains from the capsules into the drinks. He then snuck around to the back of the juice bar and grabbed one of the bottles of vodka. "Vodka has no taste or smell, right?"

_"That's what Aunt Trina says,"_ Andria told him._"She says she puts it in her water bottle and Tseng doesn't know the difference."_

"Bet he does," Azrael said, watching as the Percocet dissolved. He ducked back around the counter and sat at his stool again, watching as the losers came back from the bathroom and started downing their drinks. "Let's just hope this works, huh?"

_"I'm sure it will, General,"_ Andria said with a smile. _"Listen, I gotta go. Fill me in on the details later?"_

"You bet."

_"Okay, I'll see you when you get back, then. Bye!"_

"Bye Andi," Azrael said, flipping his phone closed and taking a sip of his drink.

He watched as the guys ordered another drink, trying to get up the nerve to go and grab his mom and Niki. After about their third sip of their drinks, they began to slow in their movements. Azrael smirked as he grabbed his drink and headed back over to the two unsuspecting women, dropping Niki's pills back in her bag. She hadn't been taking too many of them. Surely she wouldn't miss...twelve pills?

The stupid guy passed out first, the smarter one falling on top of him. A couple of lifeguards hauled them away to a medical clinic. They were arrested later on for being under the influence of a perscription drug. And, after Niki discovered that she was missing twelve pills (Reno kept a count on them to make sure she didn't overdose), the guys were formally charged with theft of a controlled substance as well.

And as they boarded the chopper to head back home, Azrael smirked.

No one messed with his friends.

And no one messed with his mother.

* * *

_**A/N: Azrael kicks so much ass! And Roxas was singing a Jesse McCartney song! I lol'd at that! Reviews are loved!**_


	62. Recon Mission II

**_A/N: Sorry it's been a while. I've been suffering from migraines lately. So, whoever is manipulating my neurological network via telepathy...knock it off. _**

**_Disclaimer: Disguise Materia is the invention of dantesdarkqueen. The only things I own are the plot, pain killers with codine and some wicked muscles relaxers. Hiiiii guyz!_**

* * *

Andria snapped on a pair of rubber gloves and began to clean off the back of Rude's bald head with an alcohol swab. Her first few weeks since she started in the labs had been relatively boring. Not much of a summer vacation at all. The college interns had sneered at her and turned her into their little fetch toy. 'Andria, get me that beaker,' 'Andria, get me those test tubes,' 'Andria, I am lactose intolerent! Non-dairy creamer! Focus!'

But now, her mother and her...stepdad? Well, whatever Rude was to her, he and her mother had needed her assistance. Her super awesome skin sterilizing prowess was called into use as her mother readied her tools to insert the device into Rude's head.

"Uh, Daddy Rude, are you sure you don't want any anesthetic?" the red-streaked girl asked as she gently swabbed the area Kandi had indicated. "I mean, I can operate a needle better than the binge drinking frat boys in here and Mom is going to be slicing a wicked chunk in your scalp."

"It's just a small incision," Kandi grumbled as she snapped on her own pair of gloves. "I'm not performing brain surgery here. Granted, the human brain is a series of electric connections, but that's just not something I deal with. The lens is just going to go right under the first layer of skin."

"Yeah, but you could still hurt him," Andria said softly with one final swipe to the surface.

Rude grinned at the little girl who looked so grown up in her white lab coat. He flicked her temporary ShinRa ID badge and winked at her over the tops of his sunglasses. "No problem, Andi," he reassurred her. "Keep in mind, I've got a shitload of tattoos all over my back and arms. This is a cake walk. No worries."

Kandi placed a hand on top of his head to steady him. "Don't move," she murmured. She gestured to Andi. "Hold his head still. Can't have him flinching."

Andi nodded and grabbed the cueball of a head in her small hands, holding him steady.

"Ifrit, I'm not gonna--HOLY FUCK!" Rude hissed through his teeth. "That fucking hurts!"

"Kinda like a papercut, huh?" Kandi chuckled as she inserted the lens under the skin and sealed it back up with a more highly potent form of a liquid bandage. "All done. Do you want a lollipop for being such a good boy?"

"Stuff it, Babe," Rude said, scratching around the incision point. "That really fucking hurt. More than I thought it would."

"Like I said, felt like a papercut...on your head," his girlfriend grinned as she began typing in a key sequence on her laptop. A visual of the lab directly behind Rude came into view. "Perfect. We have a clear visual. All that's left is the Disguise materia."

Rude nodded and activated the orb in his armlet. The girls watched as their favorite baldy changed before their eyes. He was still big, buff and bald; however, now he had a full beard and mustache combo in a dark, dirty blond shade that hit him mid-chest. But his scalp was a thing of beauty. The entirity of Rude's head was a canvas for a Nibel wolf, it's eyes settled right in the back of his head, the pupil of the left eye the center of the camera's lens.

Kandi grinned as she checked out the wolf. "Cool, Babe," she said. "Been thinking of doing something like that?"

Rude shrugged. "Probably not," he answered. "Now that I know what sharp objects on my head feel like, I think I'll pass."

"Pussy," Kandi snickered, checking the camera again. "Okay, the disguise tattoo didn't fuck with the visual. We're good to go. Just gotta change out of your suit, Rude."

"Right," he said, leaning over to kiss Kandi's lips and Andria's cheek, the latter giggling as his new whiskers tickled her. "See ya after work."

"Okay," Kandi said with a grin as he walked out the door. She began putting her equipment away. "Wanna grab lunch real quick?"

"Sure," Andria said, shrugging out of her lab coat. "My stomach's a little upset, so maybe some food will do the trick."

Kandi laughed and dropped her arm around her daughter. "Always does wonders for me," she answered.

* * *

The joint was loud and dirty, smelling of a combination of sweat, piss, beer and that terrible cologne they sold in the coin operated dispenser's in the men's room. It was a rough place filled with rough guys and the occassional rough chick. Which was why Rude's partner for this venture was Katrina. As much as he loved Kandi, Rude knew she'd get herself in trouble here. She had a mouth that could get her into plenty of trouble, but not out. Katrina on the other hand, had a mouth for all occasions.

And one fuckin' hell of a left hook.

"I told you, you godsdamn rat, not to grab my fuckin' ass," she hissed, grabbing her bottle of tequilla and sliding into the booth across from Rude. "Hey handsome. This seat taken?"

Rude smirked. "Saving it for a hot piece of ass like you," he ground out.

Trina had opted to keep her fiery red-hair for this assignment, but she did change a lot of other aspects. Like her chest for one. It was bigger. And her legs were longer. And the girl was flat out taller. Five foot two quickly turned into five foot nine. She took a swig of the tequilla and grabbed a cigarette out of her purse. "You in the right position?" she asked, plucking a cigarette out of another bar patron's mouth and using it to light hers.

Rude nodded, taking a drink of his whiskey. "Door's right behind me," he replied.

"Great," Katrina said, waving her hand flippantly. "Explain to me again why I'm here?"

The bald man shrugged. "The other red-head I'm accustomed to working with is too known in this bar...even with Disguise materia," he told her.

"Hmph," she scoffed, taking a drag off her cigarette. "Well, at least I get to drink on the job."

"Don't you always?"

The rookie Turk rolled her eyes. "It doesn't mess with my work," she retorted with a grin. "Actually makes me a better shot."

Rude smirked and motioned for another whiskey. "Gotta love anti-poison accessories," he said, flashing his Poison ring. "Works the same as an Esuna, only prior to actually getting shit-faced."

Katrina returned the smirk and lifted her glass to him. "How do you think I can drink so much and still stay coherent?" she asked with a grin. She gestured to the door behind him. "VP's here."

Rude nodded slightly, sipping his whiskey and watching the action behind him in Katrina's polished bracelet she wore on her left arm, knowing the camera in his head was recording the footage they needed.

They kept up idle chit chat, basically just there to catch the betrayal of ShinRa by a member of the staff. The VP Katrina had spoke of was Ken Adams, Executive Vice President of Data Nex, Inc. Black and Widdow's mission to infiltrate the company's mainframe to discover any of ShinRa's alternate energy secrets was successful. The information was there. However, the insider in ShinRa who had leaked the information to Data Nex was smarter than they first anticipated. The emails transmitted between Data Nex and the betrayer were not from one of the computers at ShinRa. Kandi had assigned Sage to track the IP address of the computer sending the emails and cross-reference it with the IP addresses of the computers in the company, including all laptops and PDA's. There was no match. However, there had been an email from the vice-president of Data Nex requesting a meeting to gather more information. This biker bar in the sector six slums was the meeting place.

Katrina raised her eyebrow as she watched the scene unfolding. "I think we got him," she said with a sly grin.

Rude smirked and rose to his feet, tossing a few gil onto the table. He reached his hand out and helped her up. "Let's go," he said. "This beard is scratchy as fuck."

The red-head laughed and finished off her bottle of tequilla. "Right behind-hey!"

Rude turned around and watched as one of the rougher looking guys grabbed his partner and pinned her up against the bar, his lips attacking hers brutally. Katrina lifted her knee to get a groin shot to the guy, but he was pressed too firmly against her for her to be able to. She bit his lip and pushed against him, trying to get free. Then the bastard hit her across the face.

And that's when Rude snapped.

Katrina watched as her Sista's boyfriend grabbed the prick off her and snapped his neck in one movement, dropping the body to the ground like a used towel. He was instantly attacked by five other guys, easily fighting them off and tossing them in a pile on top of the first guy. Someone broke a beer bottle and charged him, only to scream an instant later as his arm was snapped in five different places. The bottle weilder didn't get a much of a chance to scream in pain as Rude's large hand contracted around his neck, severing his vocal chords and killing him. The red-headed female backed away from the action and reached behind the bar, grabbing another bottle of tequilla while watching the scene. Rude was a one man action movie. No wonder Kandi dug him.

Once all the drunks had been dealt with, Rude made his way back over to her. He tilted Katrina's chin up and scowled at her black eye. "Vincent is going to be pissed," he ground out.

Katrina shrugged and handed him the bottle. "Isn't the first time, won't be the last," she said with a grin. "In our line of work and as fuckin' hot as I am, you're bound to get a couple assholes trying to force themselves on you. But for what it's worth, I'm glad you were here. Thanks, Man."

Rude nodded curtly. "Yeah," he said, kicking a body as they made their way out of the bar. "No problem."

* * *

Kandi watched the footage from Rude and Katrina's mission, a bowl of popcorn and a soda in hand. She jumped as one guy leapt at Rude's back, his body disappearing as the big man pulled him over his shoulder and proceeded to beat him to death; something she, unfortunately, couldn't see since it was happening out of the camera's range.

"Damn it, Babe," she grumbled. "Next time, I'm putting the camera in front and back so I can get all the good footage!"

Rude made a non-committal noise as he sat beside her. "It shouldn't have happened," he growled. "Fucker had to go and hit Trina. I kinda lost it after that."

Kandi grinned up at her boyfriend, leaning over and kissing him gently. "I love that about you," she said, moving the footage back to what the duo had gone in for. She focused in on the person with Ken Adams, filtering the frame to make the image clearer. "You're such a softy. Can't stand girl's getting smacked around."

"I'd never do it," he snarled. "Real men don't have to hit. Fuckers."

"I know, Babe," she said, sticking in a flash drive and saving the digital image on it. "Well, looks like we got our guy."

Rude nodded just as Kandi's cell phone rang. She reached for it, her brows furrowed together. "Hey Andi," she said. "What...huh? You serious? Okay, meet me in my office and I'll take you home. Love you."

She closed her phone and shook her head. "Andi's sick," she told him, taking the flash drive out and handing it to him. "Puking her guts out."

"Yikes," he said, taking the object. "What do you want me to do with this?"

"Take it to Tseng for me?" she asked. "I gotta get Spawn home."

Rude nodded and kissed her gently. "Okay, I'll see you at home then."

Kandi kissed him back and grinned. "You got it, Babe," she said standing up and leaning down to kiss him again. "And you are so getting laid tonight."

Rude looked at her over the tops of his sunglasses. "Don't I always?" he smirked.

"Yeah, but you're really getting it tonight," she laughed as she walked out the door. "I love you."

"Love you."

* * *

**Mission Report: Positive identification needed on betrayer of ShinRa to Data Nex, Inc. Covert camera used to gain information.**

**Turks Assigned: Rude and Katrina**

**Status: Rude, Senior Turk; Katrina, Second Level Rookie**

**Specialites: Rude - Hand to hand combat, forced interogation, martial arts; Katrina - Dominatrix assassin, undercover ops, marine biology**

**Target: Identification of ShinRa Informer to Data Nex, Inc.**

**Death by: N/A**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

****

_A/N : (growls) I love Rude. He's so underrated in the FF-VII universe...which is why I'm drawn to him. I never go for the main heros. The unsung ones...those are the guys for me. Either that, or the villains._


	63. Operation: Chocobo Noodle Soup

**_A/N: Spawn alert!_**

**_Disclaimer: Plot mine, everything else...someone else's._**

* * *

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" Kaya exclaimed, trying to maneuver the pot of chocobo noodle soup into a position that wouldn't burn her hands. "Brycie, open the door! This stuff is hot!"

Her older cousin scanned his eyes and opened the door while Paulo took the pot from Kaya, trying to give the girl a reprieve from the heat of the container. She gave him a thankful smile, causing the brown-eyed boy to blush slightly. The five kids filtered into the apartment, Azrael kneeling down to scratch Axel's ears. The red-furred canine wagged his tail, bright green eyes letting them know they were welcome.

Paulo took the chocobo noodle soup into the kitchen and set it on the bar top, Axys setting the bag full of crackers, a bottle of 6up and a single flower along side it. Azrael nodded and went to wash his hands. "Okay, Guys," he said. "Let get to work."

Kaya jumped up onto the counter and grabbed a bowl from the cabinet, handing it down to Bryce who took it to fill it with the still steaming soup. She then grabbed a plate and gave it to Axys and a glass to Paulo. Axys took the plate and opened up a package of crackers, arranging them on the dish and setting them on the tray Azrael had found. Paulo took the glass and filled it with crushed ice from the door of the freezer, pouring the 6up inside and setting a straw in it. Azrael found a vase and filled it with water, cutting the flower to fit inside. A spoon and napkin were set on the tray and the rest of the dishes were arranged neatly.

"Good job, everyone," Bryce praised. "Now, let's see how the invalid is."

"Someone's been studying his vocabulary this summer," Axys teased, nudging him playfully.

Bryce blushed. "Dad insists I learn a new word everyday," he admitted with a grin. "Not that I mind. It just means I'll remain mentally superior to those Cretans we attend school with."

Azrael laughed and grabbed the tray, carrying it out the kitchen and down the hall of the apartment. "Prez, you would think you were better than them anyway," he commented. "It's a ShinRa thing."

Bryce scowled. "What's that supposed to mean..._General_?" he asked in challenge.

Azrael turned slightly and smirked. "It's the name," he told him. "Never mind. Let's just get this stuff to Andi."

The silver haired boy continued on, Axys and Kaya in tow. Paulo placed his hand on Bryce's shoulder and gave him a gentle smile. "He didn't mean anything by it," he reassured him.

Bryce looked at the dark haired boy and nodded slightly. "Let's check on Andi."

The other three had stopped at Andria's bedroom door and Axys was gently opening it. "Andi?" she said softly.

Andria opened her eyes and rolled over in her bed, smiling weakly at her friends. "Hey, Guys," she whispered. She cleared her throat and sat up a bit. "What are you doing here?"

The red-headed girl bounced into the room and climbed to her usual spot on the top bunk, hanging upside down and looking at her friend, her long red hair making a sort of curtain around the ill girl. "We've come to take care of you!" she answered cheerfully.

"Yeah," Paulo added. "Since your mom and Rude have to work, Dad gave us an assignment."

"Operation: Chocobo Noodle Soup!" Kaya giggled as Azrael sat the tray across Andria's lap.

"We're supposed to stay here and keep you company," Bryce explained, pulling up her desk chair and taking a seat.

Azrael sat down beside Andria on the bed, while Kaya and Paulo claimed the black and purple bean bags in the corner, pulling them to the side of the bed. "How are you feeling?" the silver haired boy asked.

"A little better," Andria answered. "This sucks, though. I don't want you all to get it."

"I had a flu shot," Bryce told her. "I'm good."

"Herbal stuff," Kaya said.

"Same here," added Paulo with a smile.

"I have too much Mako from Dad to get sick," Azrael explained.

"I _wanna _get sick!" Axys giggled. "Daddy gets me more stuff when I puke."

"That's gross, Ax," Andria said with a soft laugh. She reached for the spoon and took a tentative bite of the soup, closing her eyes as it trickled down her throat. "This is good, Guys. Thanks."

"Kaya made it," Paulo told her.

"Mommy helped," the little girl said, blushing slightly when Paulo smiled at her.

"It's really good," Andria said taking another bite. She took a sip of the 6up. "Thanks for coming, you guys."

Kaya jumped up from her seat and reached into her pocket, taking out a little bottle of pills. She shook one out and handed it to Andria. "Here, take this," she said. Andria gave her a skeptical look but took the pill from her anyway. "It's not medicine. It's an herbal vitamin with a ton of good stuff to make you better fast."

"Really?" Andria asked, looking at the little capsule. "You sure?"

"Positive," the little exorcist promised. "Uncle Renzo said he learned about it from the Druids and taught it to Mommy. That's what I take everyday to keep me from getting sick. Damian, too."

"Where is Damian?" Andria asked, taking the vitamin. "And Nate?"

"Damian is actually out with Daddy getting some things from the weapons shop," Kaya told her.

"And N.C. has turned Nate into her servant boy," Bryce added. "He keeps doing what she tells him because she keeps promising to take him on another mission."

"Poor guy," Azrael laughed.

"Yeah, well at least he got to go on a mission," Axys grumbled. "Dad won't let me. Says it's too dangerous."

"Yeah, so does Mom," Azrael agreed. "Though I do get to train with Revan a lot."

"Mom's been teaching me some more exorcist stuff," Kaya piped up.

Paulo nodded. "Dad won't let me out on any real missions either," he said. "But he is letting me read some of the old mission reports. Did you know that on Kailani's first mission, she shoved a rubber duck filled with WD-40 up a guys butt and lit it, making it a bomb?"

"EW!" Axys exclaimed falling into hysterical laughter. "That's gross!"

"You know why he was a target?"

Everyone shook their heads. Paulo grinned. "Because _your_ dad," he continued, pointing at Axys. "Wrote a fanfic and the guy flamed him."

Bryce laughed. "They offed a guy for that?" he said. "Cool."

"Gods, we are so desensitized," Andria commented, shaking her head. She had finished her soup and was now nibbling on her crackers. "Guys, thanks so much for coming over. This is making me feel so much better."

"Don't feel like puking?" Azrael asked, playfully tickling her toes under her covers.

Andria pulled her foot away and giggled. "Not right now," she said. "Hopefully, I'll be able to keep this down."

"Good!" Axys exclaimed. "Then you can come back to Head Quarters. Niki-chan has taught me some cool pranks since she's been back."

"And Mom's not her intended target anymore," Azrael added.

"Who is?" Andria asked.

"Mainly Dad," Paulo said. "And anyone else who she feels like pranking."

"She doesn't discriminate," Bryce said with a grin. "And the things she does with lard is almost...unreal."

Andria laughed and leaned back against her pillows. "Can't wait," she said with a satisfied smile.

* * *

**_A/N: Not much. Just a little Turk Spawn cuteness bonding thing. And I sense some rivalry between Bryce and Azrael. Which is to be expected since Bryce likes Axys and she likes Azrael. Reviews are loved!_**


	64. Partnered Mission VIII

_**A/N: Mwah ha ha.**_

**_Disclaimer: Plot is mine. That's it. Seriously, I'm just a broke old chick._**

* * *

Tseng finished reading the letter Nilto had brought him and looked up at the nocturnal belly dancer. "She wants them dead?" he asked evenly.

Nilto nodded and leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs. "Yes, Sir," she replied.

"They are her parents."

"They have a bounty out for her husband's head," she countered. "They have a new born daughter and Shirah wants to make sure that she knows her father."

"And in order to ensure that, she is willing to have her own, along with her mother, executed?" Tseng inquired, a slight curve to his lips. "I think I rather like your cousin's wife."

Nilto beamed. "So, does that mean you'll do it?" she asked excitedly.

The Wutain studied the letter again and nodded his head. He took out a lighter and took the letter to the flame. "We wouldn't want the new wife and mother incriminated, now would we?" he asked. "We have two Turks back from medical leave that have yet to go on a mission. I think this will be the true test of their reconciliation. Let's see how well they can work together."

The exotic beauty giggled. "Could be interesting."

"Or we could have four corpses to dispose of rather than two," Tseng replied with a chuckle.

* * *

Niki sat on the back of the snow mobile, shivering her adorable little ass off. Of course the mission had to be on the Northern Continent. And of course the clinically insane Turk had to think that black tights under her short pleated skirt would be enough to keep her warm. She tried squeezing in closer to her partner, trying to steal her warmth.

"Niki-chan, if you're that cold, you should have borrowed the snow suit I offered to you before we left the inn," Akalara told her. "You knew it was below zero out here."

"But I'm normally really hot natured," the little Turk whined. "I'm not one to get cold."

"You've also never been exposed to extreme conditions like this," Akalara laughed. "I grew up on the streets of Midgar. I'm used to being cold."

"I was a street kid, too!" Niki exclaimed. "Hello? I'm a freakin' pack leader."

"You had your pack mates to keep you warm," Akalara countered, adjusting a wire on the device in her hands. "All I had was my wits."

Niki grumbled. "I wish I had Fezzik right now," she said, teeth chattering. "That big, furry giant is so nice and toasty!"

Akalara shook her head and closed the device. "Okay, it's ready," she said. "Shirah's parents live in a cabin on the outskirts of Icicle Village. It's far enough away that this won't cause anymore casualties."

"What, exactly, are we doing?" Niki asked, blowing warm air into her gloves.

The green-haired woman smirked. "We're going to bury them alive under an avalanche," she told her. "When Sage left with the chopper, I had him drop a small bomb on top of the mountain. It's not a big one, just enough to make a noise to trigger the avalanche."

"And that's the detonation device?" Niki asked. Akalara nodded. "Cool. Let's do it and get back to the inn and in front of the fire with some hot cocoa. It's freaking July. There shouldn't be snow on the ground."

"It's the Northern Continent," Akalara said, pushing the button. "There's always snow."

They waited to watch the snow start falling down the mountain, burying the small cabin underneath the frozen water. Five minutes passed and nothing. Ten more minutes passed.

"What's taking so long?" Niki complained. "I'm freezing!"

"It can take several minutes before the initial shifting begins," Akalara told her.

A half hour later and still, nothing had happened. "Ak!" Niki hissed. "What happened?"

"I don't know," Akalara murmured, reaching for her cell phone. She dialed Sage's number. "Sage? My device didn't work. Did you drop it where I told you?"

_"Uh...no. I forgot. And I left it in the chopper which is now on fire!"_

Akalara looked at her remote. "Wow," she said, impressed with her invention. "I didn't realize it had that much range. Where are you?"

_"Bone Village,"_ he replied. _"I'll call in another chopper. Might be a few days."_

"Okay, fine," Akalara said, closing her phone and turning to Niki. "The asstard left it on the chopper, which is now in flames."

Niki groaned and buried her face in Akalara's coat. "Great," she mumbled. "So, now what? We still have to kill them and I'm too cold to do it the old fashioned way."

Akalara thought. "Well, we could --" she stopped and covered her ears as Niki let out an ear piercing, high-pitched 'WARK!'. "What the hell?!"

"Shut up and drive this thing before _we're_ buried alive!" Niki said, pointing up at the mountain and at the wave after wave of snow that began to plummet down it.

"Shit!" Akalara said, gunning the snowmobile and taking off back to Icicle Village. The villagers were outside, watching as the avalanche came down, stopping only a mile before their homes. "What was that?" she asked quietly to Niki.

The clinically insane Turk shrugged. "I watched on the Nature Channel that loud noises can trigger avalanches," she replied. "And since chocobos are native to this region, I figured I would imitate one in distress and make the snow fall. Now, I want some hot chocolate."

Akalara watched as the girl jumped off the snowmobile and bounded into the warm inn. Smiling to herself, she returned the snowmobile to where they had rented it from. The man eyed her with concern. "You girls made it back all right," he commented. "Glad that avalanche didn't get you."

"Thanks," Akalara said, walking back to the inn.

* * *

Niki snuggled under the warm blanket and sipped her third cup of hot chocolate. "Now this, is fun," she said. "I'm glad the chopper caught on fire. This is like a mini vacation."

"Like we needed another," Akalara said with a grin. "We just got back from Costa del Sol."

"Yeah, but now this is just girl time," Niki giggled. "No boys to distract us."

"I like our boys," the green-haired woman said. "And I miss the little silver-haired one badly. This is where I had him, you know."

Niki sat up and looked at her. "Really?" she asked. "I didn't know that."

Akalara nodded. "I found out I was pregnant about two weeks after Seph left for Nibelheim," she explained, swirling her own cup of hot chocolate. "The day I found out was the day Reno told me of what happened. That Seph and Zack were dead. And I knew that if Hojo found out I was pregnant, he'd dissect me and the baby. So, I took a leave of absence, claiming to be grieving and came up here. Verdot had Tseng pose as a midwife named Hilda and he helped me and delivered Azrael. I didn't know it was him until just a few months ago."

Niki stared at her wide-eyed. "I had no idea, Ak," she said softly. "So, he never even knew he was going to be a father?"

Akalara shook her head sadly. "No," she answered. "He didn't."

"Poor Sephiroth," Niki whispered. She glanced over at her friend and moved to sit beside her, snuggling against her. "And poor Ak. I'm sorry you were all alone up here. You shouldn't have had to go through that by yourself."

Akalara put her arm around the little Turk. "It's okay," she said. "It kept my son safe. I'd do it again if I had to."

The door to the inn opened and Sage stepped through. He grinned over at the two of them on the couch snuggled together. "Figures," he snorted. "I leave for two days and I miss all the girl on girl action."

Akalara threw a pillow at him and Niki chuckled her half-full mug of hot chocolate, hitting him in the head and knocking him out. "Oops," she giggled. "Guess we have to stay a little longer until Sage comes to."

Akalara laughed and ordered Niki another cup of hot chocolate.

* * *

**Mission Report: Targets buried alive under avalanche in Northern Continent. Avalanche caused by the wark of a distressed chocobo.**

**Turks Assigned: Niki and Akalara**

**Status: Niki - Clinically Insane Second Level Rookie; Akalara - Second Level Rookie**

**Specialty: Niki - Under COVERS ops, weapons, fire, martial arts, bio weapons involving animal toxins, chocolate; Akalara - Stealth assassinations, 'accidental' demolition and explosions, undercover espionage, sabatoge and firearms**

**Target: Parents of Shirah Dominic**

**Death by: Avalanche**

**Mission Complete**

* * *

**_A/N: I promised Mystic I'd kill Shirah's parents, so I did. XD Nice little bonding with Ak and Niki-chan. Reviews are loved._**


	65. Operation: Spawn Snoop

**_A/N: I like the Spawn, so I figured I'd write about them a little more. The dears_ are _on summer break, after all. And they're stuck hanging out at ShinRa with their parental Turks/President. Oh, what mischief can these kids get into? _**

**_Disclaimer: I own...(looks around)...nothing._**

* * *

Kaya turned a corner and continued on her way. She had left her little brother in the breakroom, napping on the sofa while a rerun of Myth Smashers played softly on the television. Now, she was exploring the building she and her friends had been stuck in since they had been dismissed from school for the summer. And she was taking the best tour route she could think of.

The air-conditioning vents.

Oddly enough, they smelled vaguely of chocolate pudding.

She heard talking and stopped, looking out one of the vents into the office she was above, which happened to be Tseng's. The Turk leader was standing behind his desk, leaning over and pointing to something on his laptop while Paulo nodded and typed on the keyboard. Kaya suppressed a giggle at how cute the brown-haired boy looked in his new glasses.

Moving on. She heard giggling now and she stopped, peering into Feather and Niki's office. It looked like a pet shop in there! There were a ton of mice, a four-armed monkey (siamang!), an aquarium with a teeny, tiny little octopus in it, and a couple of cats and dogs. Kaya would definitely have to visit this office in person! She loved animals.

Humming softly to herself, Kaya moved up to the next floor via the air conditioning vents. She kept going on her journey wondering where she would end up when she got the feeling she was being watched. Looking up, she stifled a scream when she came face to face with a huge, fuzzy spider.

"Um...heh heh...hi Mr. Bigglesworth?" she said. This was no ordinary spider. This was another member of Niki's menagerie of pets. Mr. Bigglesworth was also known as Spidderoth. "H-how are you?"

Kaya shrieked as Mr. Bigglesworth seemed to blink at her and started coming towards her. She looked to her right, overjoyed to see a vent cover and quickly opened it, tumbling out of the vents and onto a plush sofa.

"What in the Planet?! Kaya?"

Kaya shook her head to free her face of her hair and looked up toward the voice. Grinning sheepishly, she tried to bury herself under the pillows of the couch. "Hi, Uncle Rufus," she said meekly.

Bryce giggled from his place beside his father, quickly stifling it as the President arched an eyebrow at him. Rufus turned his attention back to his niece and gestured to her. "Come here, Kaya," he ordered sternly.

Kaya rolled off the couch and straightened her clothes, moving to stand before her uncle's huge desk. "Yes, Sir?" she asked softly, eyes downcast.

Rufus suppressed a smile. "What were you doing up in the vents?" he asked.

"Busted," Bryce said under his breath.

Kaya stuck her tongue out at her cousin, but quickly stood up straight at the look Rufus gave her. "I was...exploring?" she ventured, turning on the puppy dog eyes.

"In the air conditioning vents?" he asked, trying not to let the adorableness over-power his senses.

"Yes," she said, her little voice sounding so pitiful.

Rufus sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I take it you are bored," he said with a comforting smile. He placed his hand on his son's shoulder as he stood up. "Believe me, I understand. My father forced me to be here when I was little."

"I like being here," Kaya objected. "But, it's just fun to..."

"Snoop," Bryce added enthusiastically. Rufus arched an amused eyebrow at him and Bryce lowered his eyes. "I mean..."

Rufus surprised them both by laughing. "Snooping _is_ fun," he told them. He gestured to the door. "Go. Snoop. Have fun. Just...if you go to the labs, do _not_ blow anything up. Understand?"

Kaya squealed and wrapped her arms around her uncle's waist. "Thanks, Uncle Rufus!" she exclaimed. She grabbed Bryce's hand and took off out the door.

"Bye, Dad!" Bryce called as he was dragged out of the office.

Rufus shook his head and closed the door. Ah, youth. He glanced up at his open vent and turned back to his door, locking it. Shrugging off his suit jacket, he climbed up onto his sofa and hoisted himself up, looking left and then right. He fell back onto the floor with a thump when he saw the huge spider staring back at him with it's beady little eyes. Dusting himself off, he went to his desk and dialed Tseng's extension. "Tseng, will you please tell Niki-chan to get Mr. Bigglesworth back in his cage?"

* * *

Bryce took over the lead and dragged Kaya to Reno's office. The little red-headed girl wasn't in there with her father. They continued on and stopped at the IT department when Kaya heard Axys laughing.

"Okay, now just type in something," Kandi was telling her. "I usually just type 'boo' and then he comes here screaming that his computer is haunted."

Axys giggled again and typed in a message. Kandi turned the monitor toward her and burst out laughing. "'I will eat your soul while you sleep, Turk'," she read out loud.

"What are you doing?" Bryce asked, going over to stand beside Axys. Kaya bounded over to Kandi and looked at the screen. She shrieked and covered her eyes.

"Mommy doesn't want me to look at naked people," she whispered.

"Ah, that's just Dad's girly wallpaper," Axys said. "They've got bikinis on, Ky. They're not _really_ naked."

"How are you on Reno's computer?" Bryce asked. "Can he work on it too?"

Kandi nodded. "It's called Remote Assistance," she explained. "If someone is having computer issues, I can tap into their computer and fix it from here rather than going to each individual workstation. Which is good, considering I control all the computers in the building, not just the Turks'."

"So, I take it Reno doesn't know its you?" Bryce said with a grin.

"No, he should be in here in about fifteen seconds screaming about a possessed computer," the Turk answered. She looked at Kaya. "I'd get lost if I were you. He might want you to exorcise it."

"Is Andria back yet?" Axys asked.

Kandi nodded. "She should be in the labs," she answered. "Have fun, Kids!"

The threesome took off down the hall heading toward the elevators that would lead to the labs. Along the way, they ran into Paulo, Kaya grabbing his hand as she passed.

"Come on!" she exclaimed. "Rufus gave us permission to snoop!"

Paulo grinned and nodded, following them as they continued on. Axys stopped and looked toward Akalara's office. "Wait!" she said. "We need to get the General."

Bryce took a deep breath and stopped, turning and gesturing toward the office. "Go get him then," he said curtly. Axys gave him a strange look, but went into Akalara's office. She returned a few minutes later empty handed. "Well?" Bryce asked.

"Ak said he was training with Revan," the red-head answered. "Onward to the labs!"

* * *

The elevators opened and the four Spawn spilled out, laughing their heads off. They had hit all the buttons in the elevator so whoever got on next, had to stop at every floor. Oldest trick in the book, but still one of the best.

The labs were a very white place, full of glass and glowing things. Axys had been up here to see Andria before, so she lead the way to where her friend was assigned. Just as she turned a corner, she stopped, causing everyone behind her to run into her and each other.

"Hey!" Kaya exclaimed. "Ax! What gives?"

Axys swallowed hard, her heart stuck in her throat, and shook her head, putting on a playful smile. She turned back to her friends and grinned. "Nothin'," she answered. "I knew you putzes would all klutz up!"

Bryce looked passed her and saw what had caused her to stop. Andria wasn't alone. Azrael was with her. "Guess the General's not where he's supposed to be, is he?" he asked with a smirk.

Paulo shook his head and took Kaya's hand, glad he knew that she liked him as much as he liked her. He wouldn't be in Bryce's or Axys' shoes for nothing. He knew Kaya didn't understand what was going on with their friends, but he did. Bryce, poor guy, liked Axys, who liked him, but just as a friend. Axys liked Azrael who just thought of her as a friend. Azrael liked Andria and Andria...liked him back. It was kinda messed up.

"Hi, Guys!" Kaya exclaimed, going over to their two friends. She jumped up on the counter and giggled. "What's up?"

"Andi's working on her experiment," Azrael said, smiling at the red-streaked girl. "She's getting really close, too."

"What are you making?" Axys asked, standing next to Azrael and crossing her arms. She grinned. "I hope it's a milkshake!"

Andria laughed and smiled at her friend. "No, I'm actually still trying to recreate the Green Sludge," she said. She looked around the lab and leaned in conspiratorially. "Don't tell anyone, but I've been getting into the computers here during everyone's breaktime. I say I'm checking my blog. Anyway, I found some of that one freaky guys' records. They still have his experiments archived."

"What freaky guy?" Paulo asked.

"Hojo," Axys spat out. "Dad said he was a real fucker. Did a lot of bad stuff to people we love."

"He did horrible experiments on Cloud and Daddy while they were in the basement of the ShinRa Mansion at Nibelheim," Andria said softly.

"He did the even worse things to my dad," Azrael said. "Hojo was a bastard and I hope he rots in hell."

"He will!" Kaya said. "Mommy sent his elemental there!"

"Anyway, so I found some of his records and I found part of the formula for something called GS-56. I think it's the Green Sludge," Andria continued.

"Wait, part of it?" Axys asked. "Where's the rest?"

The red-streaked girl shook her head. "They came back before I could find it all," she answered.

"How are you going to test it when you do finish it?" Bryce asked. "Dad does not condone human or animal testing."

"Oh, I won't be testing it on humans or animals," Andria said with a smirk. "I'll be testing it on drunk frat boys."

Axys high-fived her. "Niice," she said with a laugh. "Will they stay switched forever?"

"Nah, before I do it, I'll have the antidote, too," she answered. "Then I'll make them pay me top gil for it."

"Just make sure you tell us before you do this," Bryce told her with a grin. "I want to tape it and put it on BoobTube."

"Hey!" Axys said, her attention span running out. "What's this do?"

Axys flicked a switch and a huge flame shot out. She grinned. "Cool! Fire!" she exclaimed. "I wanna hang here with you more, Andi!"

Paulo shook his head and Kaya giggled. "Freakin' pyro," the brown-haired boy mumbled.

* * *

_**A/N: Just some cute Spawn stuff. No real plot. And Mr. Bigglesworth aka Spidderoth belongs to teh maniac. I promised I'd work him in somehow. Reviews are much loved and appreciated.**_


	66. Ain't No Cure for the Summer Time Flu?

_**A/N: Oh...my fuck up. (shakes head) Reminder with Rude: Sunglasses on, hard assed assassin; sunglasses off, cool dude with vocal chords. Cool? Cool.**_

_**Disclaimer: I have changed my name to AT Nomura. I am now his adopted daughter he doesn't know about. I own it indirectly. Bwahahah!**_

* * *

Kandi blew her hair out of her face as she shrugged off her jacket, leaving her in her sleeveless white button up. Dress code for the Turks during the hot summer months was a little more lenient. Just as long as they wore the standard black and white, pretty much anything went. Which was why Kandi had forgone her white dress shirt for the sleeveless one with no tie and was sporting a pair of black Bermuda shorts instead of the standard black slacks. Also, her boots were replaced with black flip flops. But, of course, she still had her Zans in easy access should she need to go out on a mission.

Right now, all she needed to do was dive into this freakin' computer and figure out what kind of viruses were on it. Reno had been complaining about it's sluggishness for a while, so she knew he'd contracted a virus somewhere. He denied visiting any unauthorized sites, but she knew the red-head too well to believe that for a minute.

This really was the last thing she wanted to be doing today. She hadn't felt so hot for a while and actually had an appointment with the Medical Facility later in the morning. Andria had contacted some sort of summer time flu, so she was sure she had the beginning stages of it. Hoping to get a Z-pac or something to kick it out of her system, she'd made the appointment. Andi had thrown up for a few days; luckily, that part hadn't fazed her mother yet.

Kandi blew out a breath and closed her eyes, pressing her hands to her face in an effort to cool herself off. It was hot today. And it seemed like the air conditioning wasn't working as well as it should be. Especially here in the IT room. It was supposed to be kept really cool to keep the servers from overheating. Usually, she had to keep her jacket on. Today, she was svetzing. Profusely.

Glancing at her watch, she cursed, getting up and grabbing her jacket. "Fuck this shit," she said. "They'll get me in _now_."

She began making her way down to the Medical Facility. No sooner had the doors to the elevator opened did she leap out and hurl into a trash can. The receptionist cringed as she brought herself back upright and wiped her hand over her mouth.

"Summer time flu bug?" she asked.

"Ya think?" Kandi replied sarcastically. "Look, I had an appointment set for later, but I just really want to get in, get some meds and get my ass home. I feel like shit."

The receptionist nodded, noting the paler of the other woman's face. "I think we can fit you in real quick," she said, picking up the phone and calling someone. Kandi groaned and rested her forehead against the cool marble of the receptionist's desk, wanting nothing more than to just bury herself in the chill.

"Kandi?"

She rolled her head over and opened an eye, seeing one of the attending physicians smiling at her pleasantly. "Let's see if we can't get you fixed up, okay?"

Kandi nodded and trudged after the man, flip flops slapping against the soles of her feet steadily.

* * *

Twenty minutes, a standard blood test, urine test, saliva swab test and blood pressure test later and she was sitting in the exam room waiting for the doctor to come in and give her a miracle shot. Rather, she was laying on the examine table/bed thing, arm draped over her eyes, shoes kicked off on the floor and legs bent at the knee. She was relatively comfortable and pretending she was laying on a beach in Costa del Sol, the breeze from the ocean whipping around her face.

There was a soft knock at the door and Dr. Damon came back in, her chart in his hands.

"Need to see my ass, Doc?" she asked, barely moving her arm to look at him.

Dr. Damon blinked his eyes. "Pardon?" he asked.

She grinned lazily. "You know, for the shot?"

He chuckled in understanding. "No, that won't be necessary," he said, pulling up a stool and sitting beside her. "In fact, I'm afraid we won't be giving you any medication to help this out."

Kandi moaned. "Why not?" she asked. "I feel like shit. Give me a shot, make it go away."

The doctor laughed and patted her ankle. "Well, usually the nausea only lasts for about three months..."

"Three months?!" she exclaimed, looking at him. "Fuck that! My daughter had it for three days!"

"Well, I'm quite certain your daughter doesn't have what you have," Dr. Damon grinned. "Congratulations. You're pregnant."

Kandi sat up slowly and looked at him. "What?" she asked lowly.

"You're pregnant," he replied with another smile.

"No," Kandi said, shaking her head. "No, no, no, no! No! I'm on that birth control shot thingy! It's supposed to, you know, make that not happen!"

Dr. Damon examined his chart. "Well, according to our records, you missed your last one," he said glancing over the paperwork. "Yes. You switched from the pill to the shot six months ago. You're supposed to come in every three months and get the shot."

"WHAT?!" she shrieked. "No! It was supposed to be a one time thing! Once a year, when I have my girlie bits checked out, get a shot, have lots of sex, no Spawn! Ta da!"

Dr. Damon shook his head. "I'm afraid you were misinformed," he said. "There isn't a shot like that on the market. The one you were on is administered every quarter."

"Oh shit!" she exclaimed getting off the table and crawling into a corner, drawing her knees up against her chest and rocking. "Oh shit."

Dr. Damon came around the table and knelt before her. "I take it you don't know who the father is?" he began gently.

She shook her head. "Oh, no," she answered with a nervous laugh. "I know who the father is. I've only been fucking one guy for the past eight years."

"Oh, you're married then," he said with a nod.

"Nope."

"Oh," he said. "Well, no matter. At least you know who he is. And he'll be pleased to know--"

"Oh my gods, don't tell him!" she shrieked, grabbing his arm. "No, no, don't tell him! He'll...he'll...ah hell, I don't even know! I need a drink."

"I strongly urge you not to," Dr. Damon told her.

Kandi blinked. "Damn it!" she grumbled. "I don't know what I'm doing! I've never been pregnant before!"

Dr. Damon cocked his head. "But you said you had a daughter," he told her.

"Yeah, but I didn't give birth to her."

"Oh, she's adopted?"

"No, I'm her father," Kandi told him, sticking her fingers in her mouth and chewing on her fingernails. "Technically, anyway. Green Sludge, gender bender baby. I knocked a guy up."

"Wait, you're _that_ girl?" he asked. She nodded. Dr. Damon laughed. "That was a medical break through! I would love to talk to you about that--"

"Listen, Doc, I'm kinda dealing with something right now, so the whole 'I-grew-a-penis-fucked-a-chick-that-was-really-a-dude-and-knocked-him-up' bit is just gonna have to wait, aight?"

"Aight...I mean, of course," he replied. "Would you like me to call someone in for you?"

"Nah, I'm good," she said, still chewing on her nails and rocking. "I'm just gonna chill in here and cry my eyes out while I figure out what the fuck to do."

Dr. Damon handed her a box of tissues. "If you need anything, don't hesitate--"

"What am I going to do?!" she shrieked, tears and snot and all manner of nasty goo pouring out of her. "We just moved in together a few months ago! It took us eight years to do that and now, I'm pregnant? I can't be pregnant! Turks can't get pregnant! Shiva's tits, this is messed the fuck up!"

"Well," Dr. Damon said. "You know, you're only about seven weeks along. Abortion is--"

He was silenced as a 9mm appeared out of no where and pressed up against his temple. "Not an option for me," she seethed. "I was supposed to be an abortion, but it was botched." She uncocked the gun and put it back in her holster, rubbing her hand over her face. "I'm not even supposed to be here."

Dr. Damon looked down at her. "I'm going to get you a glass of water," he told her. "Don't move."

She nodded and leaned her head against the hard concrete wall, tears spilling out of closed eyes. Dr. Damon closed the door and went to the nurses station, calling up to Turk HQ to the Turk Leader's office. "Tseng?" he began. "Dr. Damon, down in the Medical Facility. You may want to come down here. I'm here with your Turk, Kandi." Dr. Damon listened and nodded his head. "Thank you, Sir. I'll expect you both shortly."

* * *

Kandi had curled up into the fetal position, her eyes still pouring out tears. This was insane. How could someone who wasn't supposed to even be born, be bringing a life to the Planet? Granted, she had Andria, but...that was different. Zack had given birth to her. Kandi had just...planted the seed.

Resting her hand over her stomach, she tried to visualize the little life inside her; how small, how helpless. She was it's only defense against the world. It's protector, it's safety. She'd didn't know the first thing about being pregnant. Hell, she was still getting the whole mother thing down with Andria, and her nine year old daughter seemed to have more maternal instincts than she did. It's not like Kandi ever had a chance to learn though. Like she'd told the doctor, by all rights, she wasn't supposed to be here.

Her own mother hadn't wanted her. When she found out she was pregnant, she went to get an abortion. Unfortunately or fortunately, whichever end you're at on Kandi's Enemy Scale, the 'doctor' was simply a crack addict out for money to feed his addiction. Kandi's mom was desperate and broke, but gave the man what money she had. The guy made her bleed and told her it was done. She didn't realize she was still pregnant until she went into labor, at 26 weeks. Fuck up from birth...Kandi couldn't even die when she was supposed to. She was barely seventeen ounces when she was born and was quickly abadonned as soon as her mother could walk again. She stayed in an incubator for months before she was healthy enough to be entered into the foster system. At four months old, her world had consisted of a plastic box, rubber gloves and now, an orphanage.

The Planet was much the same as it had always been; the poor were poor and the rich were rich. No middle class. And no rich person wanted a baby from the slums. So, into slum foster care she went, bouncing from home to home her entire childhood. She got some good families and some bad. She never joined with the gang scene, but she did break into an electronics store in the middle of the night once, just to see how the bright, blinking boxes worked. Kandi, ever since she could remember, had harbored a fascination for televisions, radios, computers, cameras. Anything with wires and lights, drew her in. And to figure out how they worked, she took them apart and put them back together. One of her foster fathers had gotten angry when he found her taking apart his HAMM radio; he'd quickly gotten over it when she put it back together and his range had increased by 100 miles. She had a natural knack for electronics.

When she turned seventeen, she was on her own. No more foster care, no more orphanage. Basically, no more food and no shelter. She had a basic high school education, so no hope for any good jobs. And work was scarce anyway...unless you had a good body and a decent face. Kandi had both and the Honey Bee was hiring. She stayed there for nearly a year before she met Zack, and the rest we know.

Kandi vowed never to do what her mother had done. If she found herself pregnant, she was going to keep the baby. It was her body, yes. But if another life found itself inside of her, she was going to give it the chance her mother never wanted to give her. And now, she was going to make good on her promise to herself. But she still found herself with a dilemma.

She didn't know how to tell Rude. How do you tell a guy his life is about to change? She couldn't ask Ak since she'd never gotten the chance with Sephiroth. Zack was in a coma during Andi's entire gestation. He didn't even get to meet her until after he died. Lily didn't tell Rufus about Bryce until the kid was fucking eight years old.

Nilto was the only normal one with Spawn to talk to. She knew she had to tell him at some point. But how? Nilto and Randak were married when they had kids. It wasn't like with her and Rude. Sure, they'd been together for the better part of a decade (gods, when said like that, it made them seem..._old_), but they were just now living together. It was still a casual relationship for the most part. Yeah, they had said the 'I love you' schtick, but still. There had always been an out if they wanted it. Now, with this baby, they were connected together...forever.

Oddly enough, that idea didn't freak her out as much as she thought it would.

Man, she was hungry.

Knocking at the door brought her eyes up and she saw the slanting figures of Dr. Damon, Tseng and...oh shit. No mistaking that bald head, huh?

Rude was at her side in an instant, sunglasses off and in his jacket pocket. "Babe?" he asked, gently touching her cheek. "You're really sick, huh?"

"Uh, yeah, a little different than what I thought was going down, but yeah. Probably gonna be hurling for while," she answered shakily, leaning into his touch. Oh, she really did love this guy. This big, strong, tough, deadly, hands could crush a man's skull...oh hell, he'd be holding a baby in nine months! Oh, but then again, that touch could be so soft at times. Like now, when he was trying to comfort her, make her feel better. Or this past week when Andi had been sick. He'd hold her until she'd fall asleep and then carry her into her room, tucking her in...

Rude lifted her into his arms and sat her back down on the table/bed thing, still looking at her in concern. "What have you got?" he asked.

"Oh, about 33 weeks to go," she answered with a snicker, taking his hand in hers and pressing it to her stomach. "Whatcha think...Daddy?"

Rude just stared at his hand pressed to her abdomen, then looked back up into her eyes. They're kid could have any eye color on the Planet. Both of them had the darkest, brownest eyes. Kandi watched as Rude's face turned from concern, to shock, to understanding, back to shock, realization, more shock, and then finally...he grinned.

"Really?" he asked, eyes shining with hope.

"Ya, really," she answered, biting her lip. "You...okay with that?"

Rude pressed his lips to hers, pulling her against him possessively. He laughed as they broke away. "You're serious?" he asked again. He looked over at the doctor. "She's really...?"

"Seven weeks along and everything looks really good," Dr. Damon answered with a smile. "Kandi's really healthy and should have a really good pregnancy."

Tseng stood back and watched in shock as one of his veteran Turks, one of his most trusted employees, his silent assassin jumped into the air with a whoop. "I'm gonna be a Daddy!"

Kandi let out an _omph!_ as he pulled her down from the table/bed thing and kissed her again. "I love you, so much," he said, holding her tight.

"Babe, I love you, too, but if you don't stop squeezing me so hard, I'm gonna blow chunks on you," she wheezed out. Rude released her and stepped back. "Thank you."

Rude grinned. "We gotta tell everyone," he said. He grabbed her hand and led her out the door. "Yeah, come on. You...made me a _baby_. That is so...wow. I just...wow! Andi is going to...wow."

Kandi laughed as they climbed into the elevator. "Uh, we left the Bossman," she said as they rode up.

Rude just grinned as he placed his sunglasses back on his face. "He'll catch up," he said, hurrying out the doors when they reached the Turk floors. He stuck his fingers in his mouth and let out an ear piercing whistle. "Hey! Everyone! Get your asses out here NOW!"

Office doors opened and Turks in various states of...Turkishness, came out. Rude glared at them all. "Got some news, Guys," he said lowly. "Kind of a big thing."

Reno leaned against the wall casually. "What's up, Partner?" he asked, taking out a cigarette and lighting it up. "What's going down?"

Rude glared at him and stalked over, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and crushing it. "New rule, Reno; no more smoking around Kandi," he growled. "Second hand smoke is bad for the baby."

"Baby?" Reno asked in confusion. "What ba--HOLY SHIT! Rude! You gonna be a daddy?!"

Kandi covered her ears at the high pitched squeals that came from the female Turks. Instantly she was swarmed with estrogen energy as they all bounced, yes _bounced_, over to her. Rude got all the testosterone as the guys congratulated him. Yay. Woo. Sperm go inside, find egg, fertilize, makes a spark. Guy all done. Fuck, that wasn't hard._ She'd_ done that. Now, came the hard, scary part.

_Oh, Zack_, she though to herself. _How the hell did you do this?_

_Oh. Right. Coma. Idiot._

This was gonna be a long nine months.

* * *

_**A/N: Surprise! (grins evilly) I gave my OC a back story no one cares about. (hits self) I'm a bad author.**_


	67. Partnered Mission IX

**_A/N: I miss the boyz. Let's go to the recording studio and visit Organization XIII as they record a new album, shall we? And of course, they need to have a few hot Turk babes guarding their bodies, right? Meh...MOLESSSTTTT!_**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot, which for this chapter, is some bitchin' deadly female Turks...being fangirls. (insert 'SQUEE!' here)_**

* * *

Kai glared at the blond female. The blond female who looked like some sort of weird insect with her stupid sticky-uppy blond bangs. She probably secreted some weird pheromones like a queen ant or something, which would explain why the pink haired dude was always sniffing around her.

Stupid Larxene. Kailani had decided...she really hated that bitch.

"Kai, seriously girl, you need to chill," Silhouette said as she kicked back and watched the band through the glass of the sound booth. "She's Marly's girlfriend. She's not after Zexion."

"I still don't like her," the blue-haired Turk grumbled as she swivled her chair around and smiled at the bass player in question. He winked at her and she blushed. "I could so take her."

"Granted, but there's no need," Sil explained, flicking a piece of short feathered black hair away from her eyes. "She knows not to fuck with us."

Kai studied her and her face formed into a smirk. "Catch her molesting Roxas?" he snickered.

Sil's reddish brown eyes narrowed. "She better not," she said winking at the keyboard player. "That short blond is _mine_."

"Now who needs to chill?" Kailani laughed. "You know, he hooked up with Feather first."

"And now he's with me," Silhouette snapped playfully. "I always wanted to date a rockstar."

"I like Zexy's hair," Kai said dreamily, leaning on the soundboard. She glanced to the side, watching as Xemnas and Saix talked with the studio owners. "I've always liked emo hair."

"Zexion's not emo," Sil told her.

"I know," Kai answered rolling her eyes and twirling her hair. "But he pulls the look off so well. He's so hot. Those are my jeans he's wearing."

"Nice," Sil giggled. She glanced at her watch. "Oh em gee! Where is N.C?! She was supposed to meet us here, like, fifteen minutes ago!"

"I don't know, but she better bring non-fat soy lattes or I am going to be so pissed!" Kai pouted.

Silhouette had to stifle a gagging sound at that. She watched as Xemnas smirked and shook hands with one of the owners, Saix doing likewise with the other. The silver haired manager turned toward them and nodded. "Looks like a go, Girl," she whispered slightly.

Kai smiled and nodded. "N.C.," she said softly.

Both girls listened as N.C. replied.

"Heading your way, Babe," Kailani informed her. "Try not to kill them."

* * *

N.C. smirked at the instructions from Kai. "No promises, Girl," she answered, tripping over her platform Mary Janes. "Damn it, how do girls walk in these gods damned shoes?!"

She was juggling three lattes, her 'purse', a Demyx plushie and her iPod. She saw the studio owners coming around the corner and squealed. "Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmi_god_!" ending on a higher note on the very last syllable. "Hi-yee! I'm N.C.! Demy-kun's girlfriend! Where's my wovey lovey woo?"

The owner's glared down at her and stepped aside. "Straight down the hall, first door on the left," one replied.

N.C. pouted adorably, utilizing the training she'd received from Niki-chan and Axys. Those girls could pout! "But...but...I might get lost!" she wailed, almond shaped eyes filling with tears. "And I have all this stuff that I've almost dropped tons of times coming up here! Can't you big, strong guys help me? Please?"

The men sighed and exchanged glances. "Look, we're really busy--"

Tears began to fall. "Pretty please?" she asked softly with a sniffle.

"Fine," one of them said, taking the lattes. The other took the Demyx plushie and her purse.

N.C. beamed up at them before hitting their cartoid arteries and temporarily cutting off the blood flow to their brains. Catching her items as the men fell unconscious, she set them down on the floor and retrieved her handcuffs and duct tape from her purse. "Don't want you guys getting away, now do we?" she asked sweetly. Binding them tightly, she cast Sleep on them for good measure. "Now, off to watch the recording!"

* * *

_Why don't you tell him that I'm leaving never lookin back again  
You found somebody who does it better than he can  
No more making you cry, no more them gray skies  
Girl we flying on the G5 G5  
And I'm leaving never lookin back again…  
So call your shawty you tell him you found a new man  
The one who's so so fly  
The one that keep you high  
Have you singing all night night night  
ohh ohh ohh man she going to be saying  
ohh ohh ohh ohh _

Silhouette was nearly dying. Roxas, _her _Roxas, was singing. Demyx and Zexion were doing back-up vocals and though this was a more pop-like song and not at all like their normal rock songs, it was a nice change. And Roxas was _good_.

She was so proud.

"Okay, that was great, Guys," Xemnas said with a rare smile. "Let's wrap it up."

Demyx slapped Roxas on the back. "Good job, Man!" he said with a genuine smile. "That was really good!"

Roxas blushed a little at the praise. "Thanks," he said softly as they entered the control room. He was instantly attacked and found himself with an armful of Silhouette.

"I want you so bad right now," she hissed in his ear. "But I have to take care of some bad guys. Meet me at my apartment later?"

Roxas kissed her sweetly. "You got it, Babe," he said.

Demyx watched the exchange with a smile. He waved at his fellow band members as he trotted out the door after the Turk babes. "They might have to beat the shit out of these guys!" he said excitedly. "That is the coolest when they do that!"

Zexion shook his head but followed nonetheless. "Dem, you have some weird fettishes," he told him.

Axel stuck his hands in his pockets and walked beside Roxas down the hall. "I love Turk babes," he said with a wistful smile.

Roxas smiled and nodded his head, looking up at his best friend. "Yeah."

* * *

Tseng looked into the interrogation chamber, watching as Rude and Joel began the preparations for the 'questioning'.

"Organization XIII was helpful in this endeavor, then?" he asked, his hands clasped behind his back.

"Yes, Sir," Kailani answered, handing him their mission report. "The cover the band provided gave us the perfect opportunity to infiltrate the premises and bring the suspects in for questioning."

"And we confiscated their laptops and PDA's as well," Silhouette added. "IT is going through the information as we speak, but I'm sure that there will be evidence of correspondence with Data Nex as well as our insider."

"Plus, the guys got a free recording session out of the deal," N.C. said with a giggle. Tseng arched an eyebrow at her. She straightened and calmed instantly. "Sir."

Tseng smiled slightly and turned back just as Joel broke one of the men's noses. "Tell Demyx I would like a copy of their next CD," he said pleasantly.

N.C. beamed, as did Kai and Sil. "Yes, Sir!"

* * *

**Mission Report: Place of business of suspects infiltrated and suspects taken into Turk custody for questioning.**

**Turk Assigned: Nicole "N.C." Solendir, Silhouette Envrix, Kailani "Kai" Simmus**

**Status: Second Level Rookies**

**Speciality: N.C. - Sword fighting, martial arts, hacking, explosions, some firearms; Sil - Toxins, healing, Mhuy Thai; Kai - Hand to hand combat, computers and poison**

**Target: Paul Lay & Richard White, Owners/Operators of Gaia Records**

**Death by: N/A**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

**_A/N: Again, for the record, not a huge Jesse McCartney fan. I tolerate him because he gave life to Roxas. And Roxas singing is just too cute! (pinches Roxas' cheeks) Anyway, another Data Nex, Inc., reference. Hmmm...what is going to become of that, I wonder? Stay tuned and hopefully my brain will reveal all that it hides from me..._**


	68. Memories, Recorded by Lamp Light

**_A/N: If you haven't read 'Evidence of Sephiroth's Humanity' by dantesdarkqueen yet...WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?! (pant, gasp, drool, pant) You might need to read that to understand what this chapter is referring to. Or at least Chapter 75 of that fic. Mwah ha ha._**

**_Disclaimer: Plot mine, everything else...decidedly not._**

* * *

Kandi continued her work scanning the computers and PDA's that had, until recently, been the property of the owners of Gaia Records. So much information, so little time. Ram and Sage had been assisting her, but Tseng had called them into his office. The head of IT had a sneaking suspicion it had something to do about them getting freaky in the server room with Spawn running around the building.

For shame.

Didn't they know better than to get caught? She and Rude had fucked in there several times; in fact, she could almost bet one of those times resulted in the conception of the new Spawn currently incubating in her belly. Speaking of which...reaching into her jacket, she pulled out a granola bar. It was Spawn feeding time.

Being knocked up wasn't so bad.

There was a knock on the IT room door and she turned, just as Reno and Akalara came in. "Hey," she said cheerfully through a mouthful of granola. "What's up, guys?"

Akalara smirked and cast a glance at Reno. "First of all," the red-head began. "How are you feeling? Any nausea yet?"

Kandi shook her head. "No, not really," she answered. "If I keep my stomach full, but not too full, I'm fine. Worse is in the mornings, after not eating for eight hours or so. Rude makes sure I have a cereal bar or something on the nightstand before we go to bed. I eat it first thing and I'm fine. Why?"

Reno's mouth pulled back in a very scary grin and Akalara snickered, revealing something from behind her back. It was a DVD case. "We found something we thought would be fun for all of us to watch," she said in a slightly singsong voice.

"But it's kinda graphic, which is why we needed to make sure you weren't gonna blow chunks on us, Prego," Reno explained.

Kandi got up from her seat and took the disk, examining it. It was unlabelled. "What is it?" she asked, turning it over in her hand.

"Put it in and find out," Reno told her taking a seat and propping his feet up on the table.

Kandi went to a computer that was hooked up to the projector and put the disk in the DVD drive. Akalara hit the lights and sat beside Reno, Kandi taking his other side as the video started.

Bright lights faded out to reveal a dark haired figure strapped to an examination table, completely nude. Four other figures stood around him, two male, two female. One male had spiky black hair while the other sported flaming red locks. One female had green hair, the other brown, streaked red. The figure on the table looked confused and terrified.

_"Greetings, Professor,"_ the red-head drawled out._ "Hope you're...comfortable. You're going to be in that position for awhile."_

Kandi burst into laughter. "Oh shit!" she gasped out. "Oh, hell yeah! I can't believe you guys found this!"

"Shhh!" Akalara reprimanded. "Watch! I'm about to say my first line!"

_"You have hurt a friend of ours, many times over. And that requires payment, of the 'eye for an eye' variety."_

_"Payment?"_

_"Yes, payment."_

Blood poured out as they cut open Hojo's torso and began the commentary about his healty liver. Kandi, eyes glued to the screen, reached into her jacket and started passing our snacks to her cohorts. "This is the best damned thing ever," she whispered.

"Look how young we all look," Akalara said with a laugh as she took a bag of chips and soda from her friend.

"It _was _nearly ten years ago, Ak," Reno explained, shoving some Skittles into his mouth. "You guys were still in your teens."

"You weren't that much older, ReRe," Kandi pointed out before bursting into laughter as she ripped off Hojo's dick. They watched as Reno shoved a spiked metal dildo like object up the hated professor's ass.

_"All you have to do is say 'yes, kill me.' And I will end your pain."_

Hojo gurgled, the blood filling his lungs. _"Y-yes! K-k-ki-kill me!_ Please!"

On screen, Akalara smirked as she readied her blade. _"As you wish, professor."_

They watched as Hojo died and then Zack pulled something out of a bag. _"Yeah, not so fast, you sick fucker,"_ he growled before administering a Phoenix Down on the man.

_"Did you honestly think we would let you go that easily? You have _years _of pain to answer for," _Kandi hissed at him.

_"Your torment has only just begun, professor,"_ Reno drawled.

"Gods, my hair looked awesome back then," Kandi commented, running her fingers through her now shorter hair. "Why did I cut it again?"

"Long hair is leverage for an opponent," Reno told her.

Kandi arched an eyebrow and smirked, grabbing a hold of his ponytail and yanking. "Yeah, true," she laughed. She turned back to the screen and sighed. "I miss those days, you know? I miss _them_."

Akalara nodded, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "We did this for Seph," she told them. "For what that bastard did to him."

Reno placed an arm around each woman comfortingly. "Too bad Seph couldn't join in, huh?" he asked gesturing lazily to the screen. "We have footage of Zack in case of memory of him gets fuzzy, but...did we ever get any of Seph?"

Kandi wiped away a wayward tear. "I think we may have some DVDs of all of us together, but I mostly just have pictures," she said. She chuckled a little. "Andi has that one picture of me and Zack in her room; the one Seph took of us at the Black Cat, the night we met Akalara."

The green-haired woman laughed at that. "Now that, was a memorable night," she said. "And as for video footage of Seph, _I've_ got plenty; but nothing you guys get to see."

Reno's jaw dropped. "You have Seph Porn and you're not sharing?!" he asked. "You selfish bitch!"

Kandi reached for a tissue and wiped her eyes. "These fucking hormones suck ass," she sobbed uncontrollably.

Akalara reached for one of her hands and squeezed. "You sure that's it?" she asked gently. "Or is it seeing Zack again?

The other woman started crying harder. Reno removed his arm from Akalara and pulled the red-streaked woman into his lap, rocking her gently, kissing her temple soothingly. "I know, Babe," he whispered gently, reaching for Akalara's hand as he held the crying woman. "We all miss them."

Akalara laid her head on Reno's shoulder, fighting her own tears as she stared at Zack on the screen. The reason that night had taken place, the reason the torture had happened, was because of how Hojo had left Sephiroth in a near-death state. They'd do anything for each other back then; and the one's that were left, still would.

Kandi reached down and grasped Reno and Akalara's entwined hands. "We gotta keep this, forever," she whispered through her tears. "This, all the other stuff we have of them; everything. And one day, we'll tell this fucking Planet the truth about Seph; that he wasn't a monster like those bastards at the media make him out to be. And he'll finally be seen as the hero he was meant to be, just like Zack is."

Akalara's tears rolled down her face and that and she felt a splatter land on her cheek from Reno's eyes. "Right," she whispered. "Then Azrael won't be shunned for being proud of who his father is."

"His true friends never will shun him, because they know the truth," Reno told her. "Axys has been raised with stories of how Seph really was."

"Andi's heard nothing but good about him, too," Kandi added.

_"Give me that rusty spoon. I think he has some eyes that he doesn't need anymore."_

The three friends turned their attention back to the screen just as Hojo's eyeballs were popped out of his skull with the spoon. Reno couldn't help the sadistic grin that came to his face. "I think we need to have another Turk Movie Night, with this as the feature," Reno said. "The last one Joel put on was a success, with the Turk Babe, Tifa and Yuffie girl action going on."

Reno yelped as he was pinched by the two women. "You are never to speak of that again!" Akalara hissed.

"We were drunk as fuck!" Kandi exclaimed.

Reno laughed and settled back against his chair, still holding Kandi in his lap, slinging his other arm around Akalara. "Do you know who would absolutely _love_ to see this DVD?" he asked.

Kandi snickered and Akalara chuckled. "Vincent," they replied in unison.

* * *

_**A/N: I was reading EoSH again (I'm hopelessly addicted!), and read Chapter 75. Oh yeah, had to pull the old DVD out and dust it off. Good times, good times.**_


	69. Aqua de Vida

**_A/N: Did you know that this fic's one-year anniversary was Monday, August 11? Happy Anniversary, Operation: Assassination!_**

**_Disclaimer: Plot mine...and that's about it._**

* * *

Nilto groaned and leaned back in her chair, looking at her iced coffee disdainfully. For some reason, the chilly beverage was not agreeing with her this morning. She didn't know if it was the fact that it had a bit too much sugar or if it was slightly stronger than she liked it, but it was really making her sick to her stomach. Raising from her desk, she winked at her husband.

"I'll be right back, Baby," she said sweetly, taking the iced beverage with her. "I'm going to get something else to drink. You want anything?"

Randak shook his head and continued glancing through the weapons featured on ePay. "No thanks, Sexy," he said. He looked up at her. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just a little under the weather, I guess," she answered. "See you in a minute."

"'Kay...love you," her husband answered, returning to his 'research'.

Nilto placed a hand on her stomach, willing it to settle down as she walked to the breakroom. She really couldn't afford to get sick right now. Since she had taken the part-time bellydancing job with Lily, she had gone part-time with the Turks. Of course, that didn't even factor in her full-time job as wife and mother to two very active children. Plus, they were going to be starting school next week. Yeah, the sickness was just going to have to wait until she was less busy.

Unfortunately, it had other plans.

The mystical Turk barely made it to the bathroom in time before her breakfast made a dramatic encore. After she had finished emptying her stomach, Nilto slumped back against the bathroom stall, wiping her mouth with a piece of toilet paper before flushing the yuck down. Getting to her feet, she exited her stall and went to wash her hands and wash her face and mouth out. Ugh, this sucked. She rarely ever got sick. In fact, the last time she had thrown up was when she...had...been...pregnant...with...Damian.

Nilto looked at her reflection in the mirror and chuckled softly. No, that couldn't be it! That would be just too weird. Kandi just announced her pregnancy. Her body was just playing tricks on her. Wait, why did her boobs just start hurting?

"Okay, quit being silly, Nilto," she told herself firmly. "You're over-reacting. There is no way you are--"

Her private bathroom monologue was interrupted by the door slamming opened and a streak of green hair racing past her to one of the stalls. Nilto winced as she heard Akalara throwing up in a very violent manner. It subsided after a few minutes and soon the sound of the toilet flushing was heard, Akalara stepping out and looking as green as her hair.

Nilto stepped aside and let the other woman clean up. "You okay?" Nilto asked with sincere concern.

Akalara shook her head. "I feel like complete shit," she answered rinsing her mouth out. "I haven't felt this bad since I was pregnant with Az."

Nilto's unique eyes widened. "Um, heh heh, you know," she began, pretty face paling. "I just got sick myself. Same thing. You don't think...?"

Akalara's eyes widened. "Well, they do say that women who work together get on the same menstrual cycle," she said. "I mean, it's possible."

Nilto stared at her hands and bit her lip. "Yeah, but..." she stopped and looked up at her friend. "Pregnancy tests come in two packs?"

Akalara grabbed her hand. "Let's go," she said, dragging the other woman with her.

* * *

Two positive pregnancy tests sat side by side in the bathroom; two positive pregnancy tested Turks staring at them in shock.

"We only planned on two," Nilto whispered.

"Holy fuck," Akalara stated, letting her head fall back against the wall. "Okay, there definitely must be something in the water. Three of us pregnant at the same time?"

"Yeah, but--"

Nilto was again interrupted as the door burst opened and a streak of sable and pleated mini skirt scrambled into the bathroom, into a stall and starting throwing up. Akalara and Nilto exchanged alarmed looks as they went to inspect.

"Niki-chan?!" Akalara gasped.

Niki whimpered as she hugged the toilet. "I want my mommy," she sobbed. "I don't really like her, but I want her...right now!"

The door opened again and a streak of blue whizzed into a stall, the familiar sounds of illness coming from inside as Kailani threw up.

"No fucking way!" Nilto exclaimed, shocking her coworkers when her ususally G-rated speech took a decidedly R-rated turn. "This isn't possible, is it?"

The door opened again and Elena walked in, looking positively horrible. She glanced at the busy restroom and groaned. "Guys," she said softly. "I think...I think, I might be pregnant."

Akalara stormed out of the bathroom at that. She returned fifteen minutes later with several packages of pregnancy tests. "Take them," she ordered. "Now."

* * *

Positive, positive and positive.

And they were waiting the results for N.C. and Silhouette as well, who had both come into the bathroom to, of course, hurl.

"This can't be happening," Elena stated in shock. "How can we _all_ be pregnant at the same time?"

"It's Kandi's fault!" Niki-chan wailed, curled up against Nilto, the closest thing to a mommy she could find. "She got pregnant and gave it all to us!"

"Niki, sweetie," Akalara said gently. "It's not contagious."

"Then how do you explain this?!" N.C. shrieked, shoving her positive pregnancy test into Akalara's face. Silhouette looked at hers in shock and slid down the wall to the floor.

"Oh my gods," she whispered. "Roxas..."

"Tseng is going to shit a brick," Elena whispered. "Half of the force will be on maternity leave."

Nilto winced as the bathroom door opened. A red-streaked head of hair came in and an eyebrow arched. "Is this a secret meeting I'm interrupting?" Kandi asked with a grin.

"This is your fault!" Niki screamed. "You got us pregnant!"

Kandi stepped back and held her hands up. "Whoa!" she said defensively. "I've only gotten one person pregnant ever and that was a guy. And what the hell are you talking about?"

Akalara gestured to the seven positive pregnancy tests. "We're all pregnant," she told her.

Kandi balked. "Are you shitting me?!" she exclaimed, going to examine the tests. "All of you?"

"I can't be pregnant!" N.C. sobbed holding hands with Kailani and Silhouette. "Demyx and the guys are going on tour soon!"

"Wait a damn minute!" Kandi shouted. "How in the hell can all of you be pregnant at the same damn time?!"

"You started it!" Niki said defensively.

"Now wait a min--"

"Shh, shh, wait!" Nilto said, holding her hand up and listening. She stood up and walked to the side of the bathroom, leaning her ear up against the wall. She heard the unmistakable sound of someone being ill...in the men's restroom. "No way."

All the women rushed out of their bathroom and into the men's room, waiting for the stall to open. Rude exited a stall, wiping his mouth and stopped, staring at the eight women in the men's restroom. "May I help you?"

Kandi's eyes widened. "Are you sick?" she asked.

Rude arched an eyebrow. "Yeah," he answered slowly. "I started feeling really nauseous and then I threw up."

Akalara handed him a pregnancy test. Rude rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses and shook his head. "Humor me," the green-haired woman ordered.

Rude snatched the test and went into a stall. They waited five minutes...

Positive.

"What the hell?!" the large, silent assassin of the Turks bellowed.

Niki pointed at Kandi accusingly. "She did it again!" she exclaimed.

The door opened and Reno entered, looking as green as the rest of them had.

Kandi smirked. "Looks like you did, too, Niki-chan," she crowed.

"Okay, something is obviously going on here!" Elena said. "Guys cannot get pregnant." She glanced over at Kandi who simply arched an eyebrow at her. "Under normal circumstances. Something is going on here."

Kailani looked around. "Give Reno a test," she said. "See if his shows up pregnant."

Reno took the test after a little persuasion (read: black eye) from Rude. Sure enough, positive.

Nilto took a deep breath. "Medical facility?" she asked. Everyone nodded in unison.

* * *

"You think we should tell them?" the red-head asked.

The black-haired girl with red streaks in her hair shook her head. "Nah, not yet," she said, tossing a vial of liquid in the air. "They'll figure it out eventually."

"I don't know, Andi," her cohort said with a grin to match her father's. "I mean, for a bunch of skilled assassins, they're pretty dense."

"Well, they'll figure out they aren't pregnant," she corrected. "They won't know we were behind it."

"Oy! You made the stuff! Not me!" Axys exclaimed.

"Yes, but you helped me get it in the water cooler, so that makes you my accomplice," Andria answered with a smirk. "Speaking of which, we need to get rid of that. Better get Az and Bryce. They can help us move it."

Axys nodded and looked at her with wide eyes. "Can I torch it?" she asked pleadingly.

Andria smiled and draped her arm around her friend's shoulder's. "Gotta destroy the evidence, don't we?" she asked.

Axys beamed at her. "So, you know I gotta ask," she said. "What is that stuff? Why did the tests come out positive, especially for Daddy and Rude?"

Andria shrugged as they walked down the hall to find the boys. "I just created an artificial form of human chorionic gonadotropin," she explained. Axys looked at her blankly. "It's the pregnancy hormone," she continued. Axys nodded in understanding. "I put it in the water, knowing it would get in their bloodstream and show up in their urine, thus activating the positive response in the pregnancy tests."

"What made them sick?" Axys asked. "I mean, they all hurled."

"I added a small amount of iodine," she replied. "Not enough to be toxic, but enough to make them ill."

Axys shook her head. "You're a bitch, you know that?" she laughed.

Andria grinned. "Wait until I use it on Courtney this year at school," she said sadistically. "Or...I might wait until we're sixteen. But then again, she might beat me to it."

"Ah, let's just kill her," Axys grumbled. "I hate that little skank."

"I know, right?" Andria said. "Come on. We gotta get ride of that water before someone else gets 'pregnant'."

* * *

**_A/N: I don't know. It just popped in my head. Woot for drunken Muse orgies!_**


	70. Partnered Mission X, Sorta

_**A/N: Okay...guys...I know it's been awhile but...**_

**_Lucrecia: She's sorry...she's so sorry!_**

**_AT: What...the fuck?! What are you doing in my author's note?!_**

**_Lucrecia: Apologizing. I'm good at it._**

**_AT: (shoots Lucrecia) God, that was THE most annoying part of DoC. I hate that bitch. Anyway, yeah...okay, here's something. Hope you like it._**

* * *

Joel whistled to himself as he closed his office door for the night and started walking down the hall to the elevators leading to the parking garage. After changing out of his uniform, it was time to stop off and have a quick beer and bite to eat. He had worked late tonight since Lily was touring with the Desert Roses and was going to be out of town until next weekend and being alone on a Friday night was not his favorite thing. Unfortunately, it appeared that was exactly what was going to happen. The Turks' resident grease monkey was not about to cheat on his girlfriend. Besides, he doubted he could find another chick as...bendy as Lily was anyway.

Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans, he continued on down the hall, nearly falling flat on his face as he tripped over a pair of shoes residing outside of Reno's office. Upon further examination, it was a pair of Converse high tops belonging to the sock clad girl leaning against Reno's door with her knees drawn up to her chest and her arms hugging her legs, pout firmly in place.

Joel stopped and looked down at the sable haired Turk. "Uh, Niki-chan?" he asked. "What are you doing?"

Niki looked up and up...and up until she locked eyes with the tall man. She sniffed and buried her face in her arms. "Reno's out on a mission and I miss him!" she wailed.

Joel rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "Didn't he just leave today with Rude?" the mechanic asked. "I mean, like, _just_ this afternoon?"

"I still miss him!" the little Turk squeaked.

Joel ran his fingers through his shaggy brown hair. Taking a deep breath, he reached a hand out to Niki. "Come on," he said, pulling her to her feet when she grabbed his hands. He picked her up and sat her down on one of the desks lining the hall. He picked up her shoes and tossed them to her. "Put on your shoes and let's go."

Niki cocked her head to the left as she pulled on the old Converse's as told. "Where?" she asked hopping off the desk.

Joel wrapped his arm around her shoulders and grinned. "Out."

* * *

Niki dug into the Wutain dish in front of her, chopsticks flying as she shoveled rice into her mouth. "This is really good!" she exclaimed.

Joel grinned, eating with equal gusto as the girl across from him. "Yup," he answered. "Me and Lil come here a lot. Bryce digs it, too."

"So," Niki began, swallowing her mouthful of hibachi beef. "Why are you doing this? You know, spending time with me and stuff?"

"Well," the tall Turk began. "My girl's outta town, your guy's outta town and I thought we could just be lonely together. 'Sides, I always thought of you as a little sis anyway," he added, ruffling up her hair.

Niki squeaked and stabbed his hand with her chopsticks, giggling as she did. "'Kay," she said with a grin, several grains of rice sticking to her chin. "So, what are we going to do?"

"What do you want to do?" he asked warily.

"Yuletide shopping!"

* * *

And that was how Joel died buried under a mound of shopping bags.

Just kidding.

He did, however, have to endure about an hour of Niki cuddling every one of the non-stuffed animals at Construct-A-Plushie. She'd tried all of the available sounds and jumped when the dinosaur 'voice' roared at her. They finally got kicked out when she wouldn't leave the heart machine alone, mumbling something about gathering hearts for something called...Kingdom Hearts?

Whatever.

Next stop was the ever popular novelty store, Trevor's, where they examined the poster featuring different sexual positions and ticking off the one's they had tried with their respective lover's. Joel was dejected to discover that Niki and Reno had done nearly all of the positions on the poster whereas he and Lily had only attempted seventy-four of them.

Joel purchased said poster for reference for the next time Lily was over at his place.

Niki squealed over a Domo-kun plushie and tried to nibble the cashier's earlobes, saying they looked tasty.

Then...they were kicked out of Trevor's.

Yuletide decorations distracted Niki several times and she walked into an elderly couple, a Costa del Solian gentleman, a woman pushing a stroller and an inflatable snowman.

Joel compared her behavior with Lily's nine-year-old son and determined that Bryce was easier to handle, bless his little Shin-Ra genes.

Niki nearly screamed when a Mideelian man at one of the kiosks in the mall grabbed her hand and started buffing her nails, explaining the advantages of the Mideelian's Sea Salt Mosturizing Creme and the buffer he was using on her nails. She took the nails of her other hand, the metal tips filled with a sedative and scratched several long, red lines down his arm, causing him to fall unconscious instantly. Giggling sweetly, she turned and bounded back over to Joel and latched onto his arm.

"I hate pushy people OH! What's that thingy?"

Joel glanced over at the 'thingy' in question. It was a Gyro with seating for two people. The price was five gil a person so he shrugged and grinned at the girl. "Wanna try it out?"

Niki nodded enthusiastically, tying her long hair back in a ponytail. The man running the ride took their money and began explaining safety rules and such, strapping them into the contraption. He asked if they were ready and when he received affirmative answers from both, he started the ride.

And the screaming began.

"Oh my gods! Oh my gods! What is this thing?! AAAAHHH! Get me off! AAAAHHH!"

Joel couldn't help it. He started laughing uncontrollably as the little Turk screamed her very healthy lungs out.

"What is so funny?!" she shrieked, still screaming. "RENO! AAAHHHH!"

When the ride finally stopped, Joel was gasping for breath from laughing so hard and Niki was gasping for breath from screaming so hard. Unsteady on her feet, Niki nearly collapsed into the white railing surrounding the Gyro.

Joel grabbed her and placed a steadying arm around her. "Easy there," he said with a grin. "Fun?"

Niki returned the grin. "Very."

"Ice cream?"

"Oh! YEAH!"

And so, a cone in each of their possession, they continued on their non-date, walking passed and through several stores until the came across the pet store. Niki's face fell as she looked at all of the puppies trapped in their cold cages, begging people to adopt them. Her eyes filled with tears as she could almost hear them begging her to help them. She pressed her face to the window holding a basset hound hostage, locking eyes with him and whimpering with him.

Joel wondered off to look at a gorgeous Husky being let out and united with it's new master. He admired the dog when suddenly, an ear piercing sound was heard as about twenty puppies darted out of their cages and ran down the walkways of the mall. Niki was standing off to the side, removing rabbits and guinea pigs from their enclosures, placing a clipped wing parakeet on each of their backs to aide in their escape.

"Be free, my friends!" she cried, hands thrown into the air in victory. "Liberation is thine!"

Joel face-palmed and ran to Niki, grabbing her hand and hauling ass down the walkway before security was called on them. "Shiva, I can't take you anywhere!" he laughed. "How does Reno do it?"

Niki grinned and shrugged. "I dunno," she answered. She squeaked and ducked behind him as a couple security guards walked toward him. "I'm not here," she whispered.

Joel turned and waited for the security guards. "Hello gentlemen," he said suavely. "How may we assist you today?"

One guard reached around and grabbed Niki by her arm, causing a pained squeal to escape her lips. "She's coming with us," he growled.

Joel grabbed his arm, stopping him with very little effort. "I think not," he snarled. "She stays with me."

"Then you come, too," the other guard snapped, grabbing Joel's other arm.

"Gentlemen, I don't think you realize who you're dealing with," Joel said smoothly.

"You two released all the animals from the pet store!" the first guard yelled. "There is dog shit in Victoria's Whispered Promises!"

"The pet store was anti-ShinRa," Niki piped up. "We are assigned to annihilate all things anti-ShinRa."

Joel grinned. "We're Turks, dumbass," he explained to the quickly paling guards. "So, I suggest you take your little rent-a-cop asses back to your monitoring room and--"

"Go fuck a donut!" Niki giggled, grabbing Joel's arm and dragging him away.

Joel snorted as they walked out to the parking lot, avoiding piles of puppy poop along the way. "Hey Niki?" he said, looking down at the little Turk on his arm.

She looked up at him and gave him a dazzling smile that warmed his heart. "Yeah, Joel?"

He bent down and kissed the top of her head. "Thanks for being lonely with me," he said.

She grinned and snuggled into his arm. "Anytime," she answered. "Oh look! A Nutcracker!"

Joel winced. The night was still young.

* * *

**_A/N: Based in part on my experience meeting the real Niki-chan, Serenitychan13, while I was in Tennessee this past week. Not everything written happened, but the Gyro incident, so true. I recorded it. It will be posted on my YouTube account shortly. It's under the name AmazonTurk as well. She and my husband, which is Joel, went on it. I'll be the one laughing manically in the background._**

**_Yay! I updated! Review...please?_**


	71. Partnered Mission XI

_**A/N: Inspired by a chain email. Couldn't help it. Forgive me.**_

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing. Seriously. At all._**

* * *

Dirty cops were fun.

Especially the ones who were anti-ShinRa. They were the best. Give them a couple thousand gil smuggled from ShinRa's corporate expense account and they were in your back pocket like a snug fitting wallet. And getting that couple thousand gil was easy as hell...especially when you were ShinRa's Chief Accountant.

Edmond Franklin sat in a diner across from Edge Police Chief, Michael Smith, both nursing a cup of day old coffee.

"So, where do I factor into this?" Smith asked.

Franklin smirked and leaned back, examining his nails as he spoke. "I need you to make sure that your force doesn't find any evidence should ShinRa become suspicious of the information being given to Data Nex, Inc."

"What information are you talking about?" the chief asked, cringing as the coffee slid down his throat like tar. "We haven't heard nothing from ShinRa. They usually take care of their own affairs. They're too good to use us."

"Yes, but with the new image ShinRa is trying to portray, they will begin using local law enforcement, very shortly," Franklin chuckled. "I heard from ShinRa himself, just last week, that he was disbanding the Turks."

Smith's eyebrows raised at that. "Really?" he asked in shock. "I never thought I'd see the day that would happen. Why did he say he was doing that?"

"Rufus feels the Turks bring too much negative publicity to the corporation," Franklin explained. "With the new image ShinRa is trying to build for itself, as a Planet friendly company set on reversing the adverse affects the company itself caused to the Planet, the President feels the Turks remind people of the way they used to be. Power hungry, greedy, set for world domination."

"Huh," Smith commented, scratching his chin. "No more Turks, eh? No more free license to kill. No more running around like they own the place."

"No insiders to discover what I've done," Franklin smirked. "I've sold all of ShinRa's new alternate energy plans to Data Nex, Inc."

"Ah," the chief grinned. "That's how you paid us off then."

Franklin chuckled. "No, no," he answered. "ShinRa's own gil paid for that. Now, what you need to do to earn that gil. When and if ShinRa discovers what has happened, they will order an investigation. Take several days, weeks if you wish, to perform the investigation. But here's the deal; even when you find the evidence requested, you don't find the evidence requested, understood?"

Smith smirked, crossing his arms over his chest. "It's gonna cost you a helluva lot more gil that you just gave me," he informed Franklin.

The accountant arched an eyebrow. "Just how much are we talking about, here?" he asked.

"You still have access to ShinRa's accounts?"

"Of course, you idiot. I still work there."

"I want a million gil. No less or no deal."

"Son of a--. How the hell am I supposed to get that out without being detected?!"

"You're a smart guy. You came up with this whole thing. I'm confident you'll think of something."

Franklin sat back in his seat and glared at the police chief across from him. Smith simply continued to smirk. Their staring contest would have lasted longer had they not been interrupted by a disheveled looking red-head plastering himself up against the window by their booth.

"What the hell?!" Smith exclaimed, staring at the man dressed in a dirty black suit.

Franklin had to suppress a chuckle. "Well, well," he said, eyeing the red-head. "That's one of the former senior Turks. My guess, he just got his pink slip and now has gone to drink away his failure."

"Fantastic," Smith crowed, rising to his feet. "My first Turk arrest."

Reno stumbled against the wall, following the police officer as he made his way to the door. He jingled his keys at him when he exited the diner. "Ofcicifer...you gotsta hep me. Ssomeone sstole my caaar!"

Smith crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the Turk. "Really?" he asked in mock curiousity. "And were you planning on driving your car should you find it?"

"Hells yeah!" Reno replied, draping his arm around the policeman. "Itsa really bitchin' ride, Man. Imma not gonna leave it ou' here for ssome asshat ta fuck wit!"

"Well, where was the last place you saw your car, Sir?" Smith asked, pushing the drunk former Turk off of him. The only ride this guy was taking was downtown in the back of his cruiser.

Reno stumbled as he was dislodged from the officer. "It wuz on th' end of thissh key!" he said, holding up his car key.

Franklin had stepped out of the diner to witness the exchange and nearly erupted in laughter. However, his air supply was abruptly cut off and his world went black.

He never got to finish the scene.

Smith shook his head at the drunk in front of him, unaware that his companion was gone. He stopped and glanced at something sticking out of the red-head's pants. Alarmingly, his penis was in full view in the night air, there for anyone and everyone to see.

"Sir," Smith said sharply. "Are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"

Reno curled his lip in question and looked down at his cock. "Holy fuck!" he shrieked. "My girlfriend's gone, too!"

Smith didn't know whether to laugh or deck the bastard. He didn't get the chance to make the decision, however, as he was knocked out with a swift blow to the back of the head. His body was slung over the opposite shoulder being occupied by Franklin.

Reno adjusted himself and zipped his pants back up, grinning at his partner.

"Good job, Buddy," he said, taking a cigarette out of his pocket.

Rude smirked. "Likewise. You're a convincing drunk."

The red-head chuckled as Rude stuffed the two men into the trunk of the car and Reno climbed into the driver's seat. "Some things, Partner, ya jus' can't act," he replied, taking a swig of his flask and shoving the vehicle into first.

* * *

**Mission Report: Informant and ShinRa employee, Edmond Franklin, and his accomplice Edge Police Chief Michael Smith, taken into custody for questioning.**

**Turks Assigned: Reno and Rude**

**Status: Senior Turks**

**Specialties: Fucking hot babes and drinking large quantities of alcohol**

Rude rolled his eyes and thumped Reno on the back of the head. "Reno," he warned.

"Ow, fuck, fine."

_backspace, backspace, backspace_

**Specialties: Anything and everything Turk related**

"Better?" Reno asked.

"Kinda vague."

"I'm a lazy fucker, so sue me."

"Tseng won't like it."

"Meh."

"Fine. Your ass, not mine."

**Target: Edmond Franklin and Michael Smith**

**Death by: N/A**

**Mission Successful**

* * *

**_A/N: I read the email about the drunk losing his car and his girlfriend and went, "OMG! RENO!!" Yeah...hope you like. Reviews are loved!_**


	72. Operation: Spawn Extraction

**_A/N: (AT silently slips into her domain at ff dot net, tripping on overturned boxes and various other...shit) What the hell happened in here?! Where are all my documents?!_**

**_Reno: Yo! You're back! We thought you left so we ransacked the place trying to find anything about us that you may have left behind. All we found was some Kingdom Hearts yaoi. Perverted traitor._**

**_AT: (sits at computer) Blow me. I was knocked up, moodly, fat, and had cankles and this kid was never going to come out of me. But she finally did. Now, I'm in the mood to kill something and you look like a damn fine victim._**

**_Reno: I'll get you some coffee._**

**_AT: DECAF!_**

* * *

This...sucked.

Forty weeks was a long damn time; and she still had three weeks to go. So far in this great adventure and 'spiritual journey' to motherhood, she had not found anything spiritual about it. Except maybe she had been praying to every diety she could think of to get the Spawn out of her body, with absolutely no results. Her doctor had refused to induce her until _after_ her due date had passed; which was completely idiotic. Thirty-seven weeks was considered term; get the kid out!

Kandi slammed the lid of her laptop down and leaned back in her chair, hands resting on her enormous, swollen, dear gods this thing can NOT get any bigger, belly. She had been stuck behind her desk since she they had announced she was pregnant. No field work, no killing, no shooting, no going anywhere; just stuck either behind her computer or in the server room.

And it sucked.

Rude, the lucky bald bastard, was in Junon on a mission, probably having the time of his life ripping some jerk's limbs off. And she was stuck in the office...again. With a sigh, she pushed back from her chair and headed down the hall for a short walk. She'd been taking more walks during the work day lately. Sitting for too long hurt, standing for too long hurt, laying down on her left side for too long hurt, et cetera, et cetera, blah, blah, fucking blah.

Okay, so the pregnancy hadn't really been all bad. There was that time in April when Axys had asked if she could paint her for an art project for Planet Day. Of course, when Kandi had agreed, she hadn't thought _she_ would be the canvas and found herself on display in the art room in nothing but a black bra and panties, her swollen abdomen a rather pretty replica of the Planet from space, the rest of her body painted black with constellations around it. Axys had called her 'Mother Earth' and had, happily, received an 'A' for the project. That was pretty wicked.

She had tried everything she could think of to naturally induce her labor. Kandi had eaten spicy foods galore, walked up and down stairs, drank that nasty oil Nilto had given her and she had even, gods forbid, gone the girly fru fru route and had a pedicure, instructing the girl doing the job to hit the pressure points on her feet that would make her go into labor. The one thing she hadn't done was sex, but that was because Rude had been gone for a week. If he didn't get back soon, she was going to grab a surrugate baby daddy and fuck him til she popped the kid out.

Stopping along the way, she leaned against the wall and winced, hands rubbing her lower back. Her back had been killing her all day, the pain coming in spurts and lasting about a minute or so. She snorted, wishing the pain was in her abdomen, that way she'd be having contractions and be in labor. But no, it had to be in her back, annoying her to no end.

It sucked.

When the pain stopped, she began walking again, heading toward Tseng's office. Things had been quiet around Turk HQ lately, most of her colleagues out on missions. It seemed it was just her and the Turk leader most days. Other times, it was just her.

And guess what? It sucked.

Walking into his office, she plopped down on the chair in front of his desk, propping her feet up on the rich mahogany. Tseng gave her a small smile as he glanced up from his paperwork. "You're out of uniform," he commented softly.

Kandi looked down at her maternity jeans, flip flops and novelty maternity shirt that read 'Stop Poking Me' with a picture of a baby en utero with a black eye. "I wear what fits me right now, Bossman," she replied with a grin. "I could be in a pair of Rude's boxers and a beater."

"This look is acceptable, then," he told her, capping his pen and leaning back in his chair. "Bored, I take it?"

"Irritated, more like," she answered with a sigh. "I want to be out there, doing something. Desk work is just so...suffocating."

Tseng nodded in understanding and checked his watch. "I'm feeling a bit clostraphobic myself. How about I take you out for an early lunch?"

"I'd say I love you but then Elena might kick my ass," Kandi laughed. She heaved herself out of her seat. "Let's go, Bossman."

* * *

"I haven't asked Rude, but have you decided on a name yet?" Tseng asked before taking a bite of his salad.

Kandi nodded, swallowing her bite of fruit and yogurt. "Yeah, but we aren't telling what they are until the baby is born," she replied. "And don't ask about the sex either. We decided not to find out."

"Really?" Tseng asked, arching and elegant eyebrow. "That's surprising. You don't strike me as the type to want to wait."

"Oh, I'm not," she answered with a grin. "In fact, it's killing me to know. But, Rude was a dick the day of the ultrasound so when the technician asked if we wanted to know the sex, I responded with a prompt 'Hell no'. Rude's still kinda pissed about that."

The Turk leader chuckled and took a sip of his tea. "I would suspect so," he said, shaking his head. He eyed her across the table, watching as she arched her back and winced. "Are you all right?"

"Back pain," she replied. "It's annoying as hell. It's been coming off and on all day."

Tseng's eyes widened. "Really?" he asked. "How far apart is the pain?"

"I don't know," she answered. "I haven't really thought about it. Maybe every ten to fifteen minutes?"

"Hmm," Tseng said with a fond smile. "Leave it to you to not know you're in labor." He wiped his mouth and rose to his feet. "Let's get you back to the Medical Facility. I believe, my dear, that you are about to have a baby."

Kandi stared at him in disbelief. "WHAT?!" she shrieked. "No way! It's just back pain! These aren't contractions."

"I'd wager you're having a lot of back labor," Tseng explained moving behind her and helping her to her feet. He lead her back to his car and opened the passenger side door. "I just hope your water doesn't break in my car."

"At least you have leather interior," Kandi grumbled. She looked over at him as he got into the driver's side and started the vehicle. "I'm really in labor?"

Tseng nodded and pulled out into traffic. "Nearly one-hundred percent certain," he said. "And before you give me a smart ass reply, keep in mind I was the one who acted as mid-wife to Akalara when she had Azrael."

"Damn it," Kandi grunted, arching her back again and gasping.

Tseng glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "The pain starts in your lower back and now it's moving to the front of your belly, isn't it?"

"Yes, damn it."

Tseng whipped out his cell phone and hit the number four. "I'm cutting your mission short," he said into the receiver. "You need to get back to Edge immediately. You're about to be a father."

Closing the phone, he accelerated. "Voicemail," he explained. "I just hope he gets it in time."

"I'll kill him if he's not there," Kandi grumbled.

* * *

They got to the Medical Facility in the next two minutes. Rude had called back and was already in the chopper on his way back to Edge. Dr. Damon had examined her and informed her that she was dilated to seven.

"Seven?!" Kandi exclaimed. "Wait, what's that mean?"

Dr. Damon chuckled. "Before the baby comes, you need to be dilated to ten centimeters. You've got three more centimeters to go and then you can start pushing. But first things first..."

He pulled on a fresh pair of rubber gloves and took the wicked looking hook that the nurse handed him. "A little pressure and..."

Kandi screamed. "What did you just do?!"

Dr. Damon looked up at her in shock. "I had to break your water," he explained. "The contractions will now start getting stronger and you will hopefully start dilating quicker."

"Stronger contractions?" she asked. "Okay, so when do I get the pain meds?"

"Do you want an epidural?"

"What the hell is that?"

"Have you not read any of the information I've given you during your entire pregnancy?" Dr. Damon asked in shock.

"Uh...no?"

The nurse smiled as she washed her hands. "I'll get the video," she offered.

Kandi turned to Dr. Damon. "What video?"

* * *

Kandi's face was pale and she had broken out into a cold sweat. They wanted to stick a catheter thing in her spine? But it was supposed to help with the pain, right? But...in her _spine_?

There was a knock on her door and it cracked open a bit, revealing a head of green hair. Kandi almost cried in relief as she reached out her hand to her friend. Akalara came in a took her hand, sitting beside her.

"How are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm scared," Kandi admitted in a whisper. "I don't know about this epidural thing."

"I didn't have one," Akalara told her. "I had Az naturally."

"Did it hurt?"

"Like hell at the time, but now, I don't remember a thing," she replied. "Let's just say it wasn't bad enough for me to not want to do it again."

"Really?"

"Really," Akalara said with a smile. "Besides, you're strong. You're a Turk. This'll be a cake walk."

Kandi breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Ak," she said with a smile.

"No problem," she answered, returing the smile. "Is Rude on his way?"

"Yeah. I hope he gets here before I have to start pushing," Kandi said, breathing through a contraction. She forced a grin. "I've been looking forward to yelling obscenities at him during the entire time I've been pregnant."

Another knock and the nurse came in. "Let's check you and see how you've progressed," she said with a smile.

Akalara stood up. "I'll wait outside," she said, but Kandi grabbed her hand.

"You can stay," she told her. "I kinda need someone here who knows what they're doing. I'm completely lost."

Akalara laughed and sat back down. The nurse put on her gloves and examined Kandi. "Well, looks like you're about ready. You're at a nine. I'll go get the doctor."

Kandi bit her lip to keep her tears in check. She wasn't going to cry. She was not going to cry. Rude couldn't help it that he was on a mission. He couldn't help it that he wasn't there. She was still three weeks from her due date. Her breath caught in her throat as another contraction hit, this one really hard.

"Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow, OH MY FUCKING GODS OW!" she yelled.

Akalara squeezed her hand. "Okay, you have to breathe, Kandi," she told her. "Breathe through it. Find your focal spot and breathe!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!" she shrieked. "What focal spot?"

Akalara pointed to a spot on the ceiling. "The next time you get hit with a contraction, look at that spot and do not look away. Breathe in deeply through your nose and out through your mouth. Trust me!"

Less than a minute later, bam! "Ow!" Kandi whined.

"Breathe and focus! Do it, damn it!" Akalara ordered, grabbing her head and forcing her to look at the spot on the ceiling. "Breathe!"

Kandi did as she was told and breathed deeply, finding it actually did help. "Thanks, Ak," she said with relief in her voice.

"Don't thank me yet," Akalara said, looking at the monitor tracking her contractions and the baby's heartbeat. "You have another one coming up right now."

Kandi took a deep breath and looked at the spot on the ceiling, breathing through the pain. Akalara smiled proudly. "You're a fast learner," she said gently.

"Yeah, don't talk to me while I'm breathing," Kandi laughed.

Akalara laughed as well. "Sorry."

"S'ok," Kandi said, leaning back on her pillow. She felt another contraction coming on just as a loud commotion started up outside of her hospital room. "Someone had better shut up out there! I'm in pain, damn it!"

The door burst open to reveal Rude, with a nurse hanging off his back trying to prevent him from going into the delivery room. "Sir!" she nearly shrieked. "You can't go in there!"

"Like hell I can't!" he bellowed trying to get the woman off of him without hurting her. "That's my girlfriend and my kid."

"He stays!" Kandi growled. She pointed to the nurse. "I thought you were getting the doctor! I want this kid out NOW!"

The nurse slid off Rude's broad back and went to check her again. "Oh for fuck's sake, get the doctor!" Akalara yelled at her. "She's had several strong contractions since the last time you checked. I'm sure she's dilated to twelve by now!"

"That's not possible..."

"Get the damn doctor!" Kandi and Akalara yelled at the same time, Akalara drawing a gun and pointing it at the woman since Kandi was, unfortunately, unarmed.

The nurse ran out of the room to obey the command and Rude turned to his girlfriend. "You okay?" he asked.

Kandi punched him.

Rude rubbed his jaw and grinned. "Guess that's a no," he chuckled.

"Don't talk to her, she's having a contraction," Akalara ordered as Dr. Damon came in wearing full scrubs. She turned her red-eyed glare at him. "About fucking time."

"Get it OUT!" Kandi screamed.

Dr. Damon slipped on his gloves and checked her. "Oh boy, here we go," he said. "The baby is crowning. Okay, Kandi, next contraction, I want you to push. Ready?"

Akalara grabbed her hand as did Rude. "You can do this," Akalara reassured her. "Kick this labor's ass."

Kandi glared at Rude. "I hate you!" she yelled as the contraction started and she pushed.

* * *

Reno looked up as he heard the first cries of a newborn coming from the delivery room. He grinned over at Tseng who was smiling proudly. "Another Turk Spawn enters the world," the red-head chuckled.

"Indeed," Tseng replied. "There seems to be no need to recruit the next generation."

Reno smirked. "Nah, it's more fun this way."

They waited for a little while before Akalara came out of the delivery room. Tseng looked at her in expectation. "Well?" he asked.

"Seven pounds, twelve ounces, twenty-one inches long," she said with a smile. "Absolutely beautiful and mother and baby are doing fine."

"Hurray for all that, but is it a boy or a girl?" Reno asked.

Akalara simply smiled.

* * *

Kandi lay back against her pillows, exhausted, looking down into the face of her newborn baby. She looked over at Rude and smiled. "I love you," she said.

Rude returned the smile. "Glad you changed your mind, Babe," he said, grabbing ahold of the baby's hand. "He's beautiful."

"He's got your hair," Kandi giggled, tracing her fingers over the baby's bald head.

"He's got your mouth."

"Well, he's definately got my lungs," she said with a laugh. She looked down at their son and smiled. "Welcome to the world, Zack."

* * *

_**A/N: Yeah, it's a boy! They named him Zack! You saw that coming, right? The baby's measurements are actually the same as my little girl's were. Kandi had a boy and I had a girl. Yay! I updated!**_


	73. Data Nex, Inc: Game Over

_**A/N: FINALLY!**_

_**Disclaimer: Not mine.**_

* * *

Franklin was starting to get nervous. He'd been detained by ShinRa for a little over three weeks now with no interaction from the Turks or the President. He was given adequate living quarters, food and water. But it was the waiting that was slowly driving him insane.

When would they come?

What would happen once they came?

What was going to happen to him?

He should have known he'd be discovered. He should have known President ShinRa never intended to disband the Turks. He should have known the Turks would find him. He should have known all these things and more; and the fact remains that he did. His arrogance and greed, however, overpowered that knowledge and kicked it to the wayside.

And now, his ulcers were bleeding with the horrible anticipation of the whole thing. Interrogation was the logical next step. He could deny anything and everything they rightfully accused him of but it would be futile. He was guilty as all hell and they knew it. He knew they knew it. He could make it easy on himself or he could go out with a fight.

And Edmond Franklin didn't get where he was without being a ruthless, cold-hearted son-of-a-bitch. He had one trump card to play and by Ifrit, he would play it with everything he had.

* * *

Two days later, they came. It was the two he suspected would be there; Joel, the street rat mechanic from the slums and Rude, the bald muscle who'd been with ShinRa longer than even Franklin himself. Insides rolling with nerves, he was lead away by the two large men and thrown into an interrogation chamber. The bald man adjusted his leather gloves while the other closed the door and removed his jacket. Joel cast Franklin an almost apologetic smile.

"We all know Rude doesn't talk much, so it'll pretty much be you and me doing all the verbalization, got it?" he asked. "The big man usually lets his fists do the talkin' anyway."

Franklin swallowed hard as Rude cracked his knuckles and popped his neck. The trump card was risky...but he didn't have much of a choice. He could use it...he _would_ use it.

"Okay, so look...we know you did it," Joel began tossing the tie on top of his jacket. "That's a given. We know it was for money. We've seized your assets."

_Not all of them_, Franklin thought smugly.

"Even the ones in Kalm."

_Damn_.

"And Icicle Village."

_Shit_.

"And Wutai."

_FUCK!_

Franklin cleared his throat. "Your organization certainly lives up to it's reputation," he commented dryly.

Joel smirked as he sent a fist to Franklin's face. "Didn't tell you to talk yet, Asshole," he snarled. "Now, we're on our way to confirming who exactly was your partner at Data Nex, Inc. We've got your crooked cop friend. He sang like a bird when I shoved an EMR up his ass on full charge. But you know what, Franklin? We really don't wanna have to do that to you, Man. I mean, you were a loyal employee for years. We'd kinda like to take that into consideration during this little Q & A session, ya know?" Joel squatted down in front of the seated man and flashed him a charming smile. "So why doncha be a pal and tell us who the person you've been corresponding with is?"

Franklin plastered on a fearless, bored face. "I'll tell you what...Joel, is it?" he began in a condescending way. "Why don't we just forget this little incident ever happened? I'll put in my resignation with ShinRa, sign a confidentiality waiver, and relinquish my pension and we'll just pretend this was all a bad dream."

Joel sucked in air through his teeth and shook his head. "Now, I wish we could do that, Buddy, but you know, it's really not according to our policy to just sweep stuff under the rug like that, understand?" he replied, shit-eating grin still in place. "So ya got one more shot, Pal...who's your contact at Data Nex, Inc.?"

"No, my boy, you've got one more shot," Franklin answered, looking down his nose at Joel. His eyes shifted to the big man standing by the door, watching in silence. "How's your son, Rude?"

A dark eyebrow arched over expensive black plastic. Franklin smirked. "I'm sure he's snuggled tightly in his mother's arms right now, correct?" he continued. "Zack, is it? Yes, I believe that's his name."

"What about him?" Rude asked, deep voice echoing off the walls.

"Listen, I'm not a stupid man," Franklin explained. "I knew there was a good chance the Turks would discover it was me. So here's my back up plan. My contact knows when I'm supposed to be in touch with them. That is in exactly one hour. If I don't get in touch with this person at exactly two o'clock this afternoon, this person knows to abduct that new little bundle of joy of yours and hold him until I'm freed."

Joel chuckled and rose to his feet. "He claims he's not a stupid man and yet he just threatened your son," he commented with a shake of his head. Gesturing with his hand, he stepped aside. "Have at 'em, Man."

Rude's face had turned red with rage as he calmly walked up to Franklin and grabbed him by the neck. "That's the worst damn thing you could have said," he growled. "You obviously don't know shit about the Turks. And if you think for a minute that my girl would let anything happen to our little boy, you got another thing coming."

Franklin swallowed hard. "You can't kill me!" he said, panicked that his last resort failed to work. "You need the information I have! You can't get that if I'm dead."

"Uh, actually..."

Rude turned and saw a blond in a Turk uniform enter the interrogation room. Ram smiled and held up a device. "This is a memory extraction generator I've been working on," she explained. "I can remove vital information from a person's neurological network up to seventy-two hours after the time of their death. And that is a significant amount of time to get the information required from you, Mr. Franklin."

Franklin didn't have time to respond to that. Rude snapped his neck in the second Ram finished her sentence.

Joel shoved his hands in his pockets and shook his head. "Well, that sucked," he grumbled. He turned to Ram. "You're making the forced information retrieval part of my job description boring."

"Get over it, Grease Monkey," she replied, inserting two needle like objects in Franklin's skull. "Keep up with innovation otherwise you'll be left behind."

Joel and Ram both looked up as the door to the interrogation chamber slammed shut.

Rude had left.

* * *

The information needed from Franklin was retrieved in less than twenty minutes. In another thirty, Torr and Revan had infiltrated Data Nex, Inc.'s headquarters. While Revan had infected the servers with a virus that would completely wipe out any and all information on each computer hooked up to the Data Nex, Inc. network, Torr had found Ken Adams, the Vice-President of Data Nex, Inc. Using Manipulate materia, he made Adams take a cheap .22 revolver and shoot himself in the temple. No suicide note was found when the police came to investigate.

Paul Lay and Richard White, the owners/operators of Gaia Records were also found dead after,apparantly shot by a former music client called Times Up: Reconciling Killer's Souls. They had been storing the money Adams was paying to Franklin for ShinRa's alternate energy secrets in their business account before transferring it to Franklin; keeping a twenty percent profit for themselves. Because of their involvement with stealing ShinRa's secrets, their lives became forfeit.

Rude had gone home early, needing to make sure that all was well with his family. The only thing of note that happened while he was at work was that Courtney Stevens had shoved Andria into a locker at school. That had been resolved when Andria sent an upper cut to her face.

With the alternate energy secrets safe within ShinRa once again and all employees confirmed loyal to the company, life at Turk HQ resumed it's seeming normality.

For now.

* * *

_**A/N: That's the last fucking time I do a story arch without an outline! Data Nex, Inc., you nearly won this round. But I triumphed over you! Yes, I did! MWAH HA HA HA!**_


	74. Back to Normal

_**A/N: Mwah ha ha!**_

**_Disclaimer: Really? Yeah...no._**

* * *

"He'll be okay, Babe," Rude assured his girlfriend as they pulled away from the bar. "Tifa's good with the kids and Zack took right to her."

"Fucking Rufus and his fucking 'no babies in the office' policy," Kandi grumbled, crossing her arms over her rather full chest. "How does he expect me to work with my baby away from me?"

"The same way he expects the other girl's to," Rude told her. "You work with Andi away from you."

"I didn't know Andi existed until about two years ago," she explained. "By that time, she was practically a grown up."

"She's only ten now."

"Regardless, she's more mature than me sometimes."

"I won't argue with that," the bald man chuckled, clearing his throat when the lactating, post-partum mess beside him sent him a glare that made his blood run cold. "I mean..."

"None of the other girls have _baby _babies," Kandi shot back. "Damian is seven now and he's the next youngest. This fucking sucks. I hate my fucking job."

"You sound like Trina," Rude told her. "Speaking of which, you'll notice a change in her when you get back to the office."

"What do you mean?" Kandi asked. "What have I missed?"

"A lot."

* * *

Kandi walked down the hall toward the office she shared with Katrina and Ram. She hadn't seen either of them for a few weeks. They had stopped by while she was on maternity leave a couple times, but work had been psycho since she had Zacky, no one really had a chance to stay for long. Not that she minded. It gave her more time with her new born son and her daughter before she went back to school.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and stepped inside their office. And stopped.

Sitting on top of her desk, legs crossed and hands resting on either knee was Katrina. Her eyes were closed and she was chanting; meditating. However, something was off. In each hand, she held something. The right hand held a small, lit cigar; the left, a glass of Scotch.

"Uh...Trina?"

Katrina opened one eye and grinned. "Hey Sista!" she exclaimed, taking a puff off the cigar. "Welcome back! We got you...stuff."

Kandi looked over on her desk and saw a six pack of beer, a fifth of Scotch (which had been opened, obviously by the meditating, boozing chick in front of her), and a bunch of flowers and balloons, saying 'Welcome Back!' and 'About Damn Time'.

"Yeah, thanks," Kandi said, going over to her desk and sticking the beer in the fridge by her desk. "Okay, what the hell are you doing?"

"Ah, this shit is all the Bossman's doing," Katrina answered taking a drink of her Scotch. "Apparently, I have anger management issues, so he forces me to do morning pre-work meditation exercises to help eliminate the need to punch someone in the balls."

"Who did you punch in the balls?" Kandi asked warily.

"Tseng."

"Ah."

"Yeah."

"Interesting," Kandi observed, crossing her arms and leaning against her desk. "So how does it work?"

"Well," Katrina said, repositioning herself and closing her eyes again. "I'm supposed to take deep, cleansing breaths in and let calm, soothing breaths out."

"With a cigar and Scotch?"

"Well, that's my own variation of it," she answered with a grin. "I mean, just sitting here breathing ain't gonna do shit for my anger issues. I figure I need some alcohol and nicotine as relaxation enhancers."

"And how is this working?"

"Pretty damn good," the red-head answered. "I haven't had the urge to punch anyone in the balls recently."

"I suppose that's a good thing."

"Bossman thinks so," Katrina replied, taking another drag off the cigar. "I mean, in the last year or so, you kneed him in the groin with the whole Akalara incident and I punched his jewels. One way to ensure Laney don't get knocked up, I guess."

"Okay, question?"

"Shoot."

"Why did you punch him in the balls?"

"He told me I needed to stop drinking on the job."

Kandi laughed. "Yet, you still are."

"He sees the flaw in his logic," Katrina stated. "I'm a happy drunk. I am at peace with the world."

"How Zen of you."

Ram came in just then and grinned at her red-folical based friends. "Welcome back, Kandi," she said, giving her a hug. "I see you've met the Dali Bitch."

Kandi giggled. "Yeah, I have," she answered. "She seems more...I don't know. Relaxed? At peace, maybe?"

"I burn opium incense, too," Katrina snickered.

Ram and Kandi looked at each other and grinned. "High," they said at the same time.

"It's been interesting."

"I hope it stays interesting," Kandi said, plopping down at her desk. "Help me keep my mind off missing Zacky too much."

"I'm sure you won't be disappointed," Katrina replied. "I mean, when have things _not_ been interesting around here."

"True," Ram said. "With the Turks, you never know what to expect."

"Bring it on, Bitches," Kandi said, leaning back in her chair, fingers steepled together. "Bring it on."

* * *

**_A/N: Small set up. I have some shit planned. I hope you all keep this on alert. Peace out, Bitches._**


	75. Operation: FFM Part I

_**A/N: We'll see if this works...Spawn #1 is on a date with her Daddy; Spawn #2 is sleeping.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

* * *

Feather saw him first and let out an earpiercing squeal of fangirlish proportions, alerting all the females in the vicinity that an appealing male was within eyeshot. In a matter of seconds, the offices were empty and all of the Turks containing estrogen were searching for the male in question. However, he was not alone. He was accompanied by an attractive brunette with wine colored eyes and breasts so glorious, he couldn't help but nuzzle against in full view of everyone present.

"I want him!"

"Let me have him!"

"No! I saw him first!"

"Back off bitches...he's MINE!"

The last line from Kandi. Indeed, this much sought after male was hers. His bald head turned and revealed dark eyes that broke every heart around. Yes indeed, this little man was hers. And when he saw her, he reacted instantly, leaving the attractive female immediately when the red-streaked Turk reached for him.

After all, there is no one in the world quite like Mommy.

"Oh my gosh, he is so damned cute!" Akalara gushed, as she was involuntarily shoved into Kandi's side as all the female Turks tried to get to little Zack.

"Hey, guys!" Kandi exclaimed. "If you make me drop my kid, I'm gonna shoot all you bitches. You can all hold him, just quit the damn shoving. Gods!"

Handing her son off to Katrina, she turned to Tifa and grinned. "You braved the mob of Turk insanity?" she laughed.

Tifa shrugged. "We were in the area doing some shopping so I thought I'd stop by and bring him for a visit," the martial artist answered with a smile. "He's such a good baby."

"I'm glad he's good for you," Kandi said. "He does nothing but spit up and cry when I get him home."

"Probably because I can't get Cloud to stop holding him," Tifa replied sheepishly. "I'm glad for the help but he's spoiling him."

"Hmm, maybe it's time you and Chocobo Head had a kid for yourselves?"

"Maybe not," Tifa snapped back playfully. "Plenty of time for that."

The squeeing and cooing women had caused the males in the area to slowly emerge from their sanctuaries to see what all the fuss was about. Rude beamed with pride when he spotted his son's bald head. He went to take him from Niki but snatched his hand back as she growled at him and snapped at his fingers with her teeth.

"My turn," she growled. Turning back to the baby, her voice raised in pitch and softened in tone. "Oh you are so cute! Yes you are! You are the sweetest baby boy in the whole wide world! Yes you are!"

Rude examined his hand to make sure he wasn't missing any skin. Reno chuckled and stood beside him, arms crossed over his chest. "She will bite, you know," he told him.

"He's too precious!" Elena gushed.

"I want one!" Niki squealed.

Reno went into action immediately, taking the baby from her and passing him to Magni. "Okay, no more baby for you," he said, steering Niki away from the little bald bundle of bubbly spit.

Magni looked down at the baby in her arms warily, handing him off to Widdow. "I'm afraid I'll drop him," she said with a weak smile.

"What is all the commotion?"

The Turks looked up to see their leader and the president walking out of Tseng's office. The Wutain took in the scene and shook his head wearily. "Trained assassins brought down by a single infant," he grumbled, straightening his tie. "I thought you all were better than this."

"Think of it as insurance for the future, Tseng," Rufus said, patting the man on the shoulder. "They are simply training him early." He walked over to Widdow and gestured to the baby. "May I?"

Widdow passed Zack over to Rufus, who held him closely against his chest. The president chuckled as he looked down at the baby. "Well now, I must admit, he is fairly adorable," he commented. "Fortunately, he looks like his mother...except for the hair."

Rude couldn't help but smile at that and Kandi smirked at the compliment, leaning into her boyfriend's side.

Zack looked up at the man holding him and smiled before letting out an enormous burp followed by about half a bottle's worth of spit up...all down the front of Rufus' custom made silk suit.

Kandi laughed.

"Congratulations, Sir," she exclaimed. "He's just initiated you."

Rufus looked down at his ruined suit and then at Zack, who continued to grin at him. The president chuckled and took the burp rag Tifa belatedly offered him to wipe off the baby's face and his suit as best as he could. "I suppose he has," he replied with a genuine smile. Handing the baby to his father, he nodded. "Well done, you two. You have a fine son. Congratulations."

"Thank you, Sir," Rude answered.

"Thanks, Big Bossman."

Tifa went to take Zack again. "I better get back to the bar," she said. "I just wanted to stop by and let him see where his mommy and daddy worked."

"Everyone back to work," Tseng snapped albeit gently. He stopped and looked down at the baby as Tifa took him. A small smile tugged at his lips and he nodded his head at Kandi and Rude.

Rufus clasped his hands behind his back as the baby was taken out of the ShinRa building by his caregiver. He felt someone wiping at his suit and looked down to see Magni trying to clean the spit up off of him.

"That's disgusting," she said, her nose scrunched up in disdain. "Your suit is ruined."

"Don't bother with it," he replied with a smile. "It's part of having a baby I suppose."

"At least you don't have to worry about that, right?" she said, taking his arm as they walked down the hall to her office.

"Hmm, I suppose," he said thoughtfully as they entered her office. He closed the door and led her to the couch. "However...you know, I did miss quite a bit of Bryce's life. I never did get to experience the early joys of fatherhood. Although, he has grown into a fine young man, I can't help but wonder what he was like as an infant."

"More than likely whiney, clinging and pukey," Magni said with a laugh.

Rufus smiled. "Ah, but that sounds wonderful," he said, placing his arm around her shoulders. "Magni...I want another child."

Magni blinked, the words slowly sinking in. "What?" she asked. "Why?"

"Like I said, I never experienced being a father to an infant," he explained, running his fingers through her hair. "It's something that I think I would enjoy immensely."

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked warily.

Rufus looked down at her with a gentle smile before leaning over and kissing her tenderly. "Because I want you to be the mother of my next child."

Magni pulled away from him as he leaned in to kiss her again. "You can't be serious?" she said softly. "Rufus, tell me you aren't serious."

"I'm dead serious."

The Turk stood up and thrust her fingers in her hair. "But why?" she asked. "I mean, you have Bryce. You don't need another kid. You have an heir."

"Why are you reacting like this?" he inquired. "I thought you would be happy to have a child with me."

"I don't want children."

Rufus rose to his feet. "You don't want children?" he asked in disbelief. "How could you not want children?"

"I...really don't like kids."

He balked at that. "But you have a great relationship with Bryce," he countered.

"Bryce is different," she explained. "He's like a really short adult."

Rufus crossed his arms and examined her. "Is it just children you don't want?" he asked. "I wasn't expecting you to just give me a child just because we're dating. I was hoping you would marry me before we got to that point."

Magni's eyes widened. "Marry you?" she exclaimed. "Rufus, have you gone insane?! What is with the whole domestic dream all of a sudden?"

"You don't even want marriage?"

"No."

"With anyone or just with me?"

"That is not a fair question."

Rufus' eyes narrowed. "Is there someone else?" he asked.

Magni's defenses went up. "Just because I don't want to marry you and incubate you children automatically means I'm seeing someone else?" she exclaimed. "Unbelievable, Rufus. Simply unbelievable."

Rufus looked at her calmly. "Is there?"

Magni went to her door and opened it. "I think you should leave," she stated.

Rufus glared at her as he left regardless. "If there is, you realize I will find out."

"Get out."

Rufus regally exited the office and Magni closed the door, leaning against it, her stomach twisting in knots. She went over to her desk and picked up her phone. "Wei?" she said softly. "We need to talk."

* * *

**_A/N: Oh my gosh...it worked! YES! Hope you guys like this new little story within a story. Welcome to Operation: FFM...Fight For Magni. Get ready for some old school, bad ass Rufus. That's how I like my ShinRa President. Hardcore bad ass. Reviews are loved._**


	76. The Ex Factor

_**A/N: Really? Two posts in one week? OKAY! So, this is for my friend Katrina. She's been going through some shit, so...here ya go, Babe! Better late than never.**_

**_Disclaimer: Sadly, I still own nothing._**

* * *

"I don't like it."

"I don't care."

"You're not going alone."

"You're not Tseng. You have no right to order me around."

Vincent's crimson gaze narrowed at his lover. "How is it that your ex-lover ended up in the Anti Shin-Ra Database anyway?" he asked, his rough voice lower than normal.

Katrina took a healthy drink from her 'coffee', her eyes shining up at him in the dimly lit office. "Damn good fucking luck is all I can account it to," she replied, leaning back in her chair. "Fucker never was too bright. He left me, after all. Douche bag deserves to die."

"I believe it has something to do with one of your partners and her ability to 'find' anything on anybody."

The red-head smirked at the gunman. "You give Kandi too much credit," she said with a soft laugh. "Either that, or you think nothing of her morals."

"We're Turks. We don't have morals."

"Then what is the issue, exactly, Vincent?" she asked. "I'm just doing my fucking job."

"I _thought _you were over him."

Katrina laughed in indignation, rising to her feet. "Seriously?" she asked standing in front of him. "You're jealous of my fucking ex?"

An ebony eyebrow arched elegantly. "Should I be?" he asked. "Is there anything left for him?"

Expressive hazel eyes narrowed as she walked passed him and out the door. Vincent with left with nothing but his question hanging in the air.

* * *

Too many years wasted, too many tears cried. And all for this lousy asshole. This fucker with his shit eating grin plastered on his stupid face as he watched her undulate against the pole for his private entertainment.

"Where ya from, Baby?" she asked, the pulsating bass of Lady YaYa's 'Bad Romance' accentuated in every one of her moves.

"Around," he answered, always the evasive bastard. "I'm not paying you to talk. Lap dance, now."

_Still a demanding little shit, like always,_ she thought, stepping down off the small platform of the private room. She straddled his lap and leaned in toward him, locking eyes with him.

"It's been awhile...Trina."

Her eyes narrowed as she draped her arms around his neck. "Yeah, B. It has," she murmured. "Didn't think you'd recognize me."

He gave her that gods damned annoying smirk, his hands spanning the small of her back with familiar ease and drifting down to cup her ass. "Hard to forget an ass like this, Babe," he breathed out, giving it a firm squeeze.

Katrina didn't answer. She just remained on his lap, arms locked around his neck. Had she really been in love with this guy? Had she really been ready to give up everything she ever dreamed of to be with him? Stupidity, young impulsive stupidity.

"Guess you never made it to law school, huh?" he scoffed. "Or are you, uh, _working _through school?"

Her arms tightened around his neck just slightly. "Nah, this is more a hobby than anything," she told him casually. "I mean, I know I have a bitchin' body and all, but I'm so much more than tits and an ass."

"Really?" he asked. "Since when? That was all you were when you were with me."

"I'm better than that, B," she snarled. "I'm better than you."

"Then why is it, Trina, that I'm paying you to dance and strip for me?" he leered. "Seems to me like that's all you are and ever have been. Without your looks, you're nothing. Hell, even with them, you're nothing. The only thing you were ever good for was giving me head. So why don't you shut up and put that big mouth to good use again, huh, Baby?"

That familiar shame she had felt when with him was returning. He always made her feel this way, like she'd never be anything. Gritting her teeth, she moved her hands up to rest on his shoulders. "Oh B...don't you want to know what my real job is?" she asked sweetly.

"Let me guess...waitress."

She snorted and laughed softly. "Hardly."

"Secretary."

A shake of the head, sending vibrant red locks dancing.

"Bartender."

"You really think so lowly of me, after all we shared?" she asked. "Did you ever love me, B?"

He reached a hand up and cupped her cheek, bringing her face to his. "How could someone like me ever love someone like you?" he asked. "That's comparable to a peacock loving a pigeon, Trina. You were a good fuck...for a while. But you could never hold my interest. You're just not good enough."

She activated the trigger on her ring, releasing the six-inch retractable spike and stabbing it through his jugular. His eyes widened as he felt the blood gushing from his artery. "Just so you know, Douche Bag," she snarled into his gasping breath. "I'm a fucking Turk. And, baby...you wouldn't know a good thing even if it stabbed you in the neck, Bitch."

Rising from his lap, Katrina watched as her former lover, the man who broke her heart, collapsed and lay dying in a puddle of his own blood. His eyes rolled back and the twitching stopped. He was gone.

And as she pulled on her coat and exited out the back, she realized something. After all he put her through, after all the shit she took from him, after killing him...she didn't feel any better.

* * *

Her heels clicked down the sidewalk as she left the strip club and headed back to her place. Katrina felt someone fall into step behind her, though they remained noiseless.

"You followed me?"

Silence. Then, "I told you, you weren't going alone."

The red-head stopped and turned toward the gunman, fresh tear tracks marring her cheeks. "Why, Vincent?" she asked. "Why can't you just let me go?"

He shook his head, stepping closer to her. "I can't do that, Katrina," he stated.

"I can handle myself!" she snapped. "I'm a Turk, damn it!"

Vincent reached out to brush the remaining tears away. "That's not the issue here," he told her gently.

"What is the issue, Vincent?" she growled.

"You are the most desireable woman I have ever met and I'll be damned if I let some asshole who was foolish enough to leave you take you from me," he snarled, grasping her by the back of the neck. "It's infuriating enough that I have to share you with that damned drummer, but I will gladly acquiese to that well before I let that filthy bastard lay a hand on you again."

"Well you don't have to worry about that because the fucker's dead," she hissed. "I did my job. It's over."

Vincent stared at her, his eyes searching her face. "I can't share you anymore," he said. "This has made me realize how much I need you. Axel..."

"It's done," she whispered, tears falling down her face again. "I don't want him; I want you."

His lips captured hers in a heated kiss, sealing those words and binding them. And now, with the roaring of an ambulance sirens echoing in her ears and it's lights flashing on her lover's face, Katrina felt...better.

* * *

**_A/N: Two kids and a new puppy...too many distractions! Hope my writing isn't lacking THIS TIME._**


	77. Operation: FFM Part II

**_A/N: This will be the end of this fic. I don't know exactly how many chapters it will end up being, but it is complete. Just a warning; there is some dark themes going on here. _**

* * *

Rufus glared at the screen before him, viewing the surveillance from his building. Particularly the section that housed his most trusted group, his Turks. And as he watched the footage, he found quite a few interesting trends. Though the group was a cohesive unit, prepared to die for those they worked with day in and day out, they had formed closer individual groups based on lifestyle, preference, or even romance.

Akalara and Kandi were tight, which was to be expected given their past. However, the two women also had other friends they enjoyed spending time with. Case in point, the other Amazons, as Tseng referred to them, Katrina and Ram. Akalara, of course, fraternized with Reno, as did Kandi. Again, they had a shared past. Kandi and Rude shared a child and were in a relationship as were Akalara and Revan, and Reno and Niki. Niki was also close with Akalara, Kandi, and Feather. Feather was in a relationship with Black, who also spent time with his sister Widdow. Widdow was casually dating Nina, who was partnered with N.C. N.C., Kailani, and Silhouette tended to spend time together since they were all dating band members. Brit was a bit of a loner but tended to either spend time with her partner Akalara or with Torr. Sage and Ram were in a relationship, but Sage had formed a friendship with Revan. Joel spent the majority of his days in the garage below the building customizing the vehicles, but had formed a friendship with Rude as well as a playful infatuation for Rude's girlfriend and baby mama, Kandi. However, Joel was in a relationship with Rufus' own baby mama, Lily, who happened to be Nilto's older sister. Nilto spent the majority of her time with her partner and husband Randak. Vincent and Katrina were also in a relationship as well as Tseng and Elena.

But the person he was looking for kept to herself. Magni was either in her office or out on missions. She didn't fraternize with many people, especially not on a regular basis. Save for one.

One person seemed to get all of her undivided attention and Rufus ground his teeth realizing it wasn't him. Wei Yao had stolen the heart of the woman Rufus Shinra had fallen in love with. It would be one of the last mistakes the man would ever make.

Closing the laptop calmly, Rufus rose from his desk and went to a safe in the back room of his office. Spinning the combination, he reached in and grasped the handle of the weapon he was so adept at wielding. Sliding the shotgun into place in the holster of his trench coat, he examined himself in the mirror. He looked just as he had during the Sephiroth crisis. Hard, cold, and in control.

Rufus Shinra, the cold-hearted bastard was back.

He hit the intercom for his secretary. "Amy, hold all my calls and make sure no one comes into my office," he ordered. "I'll be on an important conference call for the remainder of the day. I am not to be interrupted for any reason at all, understood?"

"Yes, President Shinra, Sir."

Rufus hit his 'Do Not Disturb' button on his phone, making it look as if he were on the call. He then locked the door to his office. Once everything was secure, he checked his equipped materia, ensuring it was all mastered to the highest level. When he was satisfied, he exited his office through a secret door in his coat closet and made his way to his private garage. Selecting one of his lower priced vehicles, he climbed into the Audi and sped off toward the Sector 5 slums in Old Midgar.

He had a deal to make with the devil.

* * *

The apartment complex looked as it had nearly ten years prior. If anything, it had improved significantly. The graffiti had been cleaned and everything seemed tidier. There were even some trees and bushes growing along the walkway.

Rufus walked purposefully up to the door and scanned the names, smirking to himself when he saw the familiar name and pressing the button next to 5-A.

"Who's there?" came the voice.

"Rufus Shinra," he replied.

A laugh. "You fuckin' kids! Go read a damn book and leave me the hell alone."

"Dizzle," Rufus said forcefully. "Let me up."

The door buzzed an instant later and Rufus swept in, taking the stairs two at a time to the fifth floor. The door was opened and suspicious eyes surveyed him as Rufus approached.

"I'll be damned," the man said, grin wide as he opened the door wider. "Rufus Shinra…oh, 'scuse me. President Rufus."

Rufus pushed his way inside the apartment and closed the door. He extended his hand in greeting. "It's been a while, Dizzle."

"Yeah, yeah, man, it has," Dizzle replied, grasping Rufus' hand firmly. "Ten years at least, bro."

"You have accomplished wonders in the neighborhood," Rufus commented. "I suppose your brand of justice is just what this community needed."

"Yeah, man, just got all the dealers and pimps out and we're doin' great," Dizzle answered with a grin. "An' they know not to fuck with my people."

Rufus returned the smile, gesturing to a picture on the table. "I see you've been busy in the last ten years," he stated. "Two children?"

"Yeah, their mom and me ain't together no more, so I don't get to see my baby girls as much as I want to, ya know?"

"I understand," Rufus said with a nod. He clasped his hands behind his back. "How would you like to change that?"

"Whaddya mean?"

"I can make it so you have full custody of your girls," he told him.

"Whoa, I don't want nothin' to happen to their mama, got it?" he growled. "She's still their mama."

Rufus sighed. "Well, killing her would have been the easy way but if you insist…I'll have the custody arrangement switched in your favor. You will get them the majority of the time and she will have visitation rights."

Dizzle eyed the powerful man skeptically. "Why you doin' this for me, bro?' he asked. "I know you don't do nothin' for nothin'."

"Of course not," Rufus countered. "I need you to do a little recon."

"You got Turks for that."

"It's on two of my Turks and I can't jeopardize the cohesiveness of the unit but pitting the entire division against two members," he growled. "It's a complicated and sensitive matter."

"You fuckin' one of them?"

"To put it bluntly, yes."

Dizzle grinned. "She cheating on you, bro?"

Rufus arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "Your powers of deduction are astounding," he complimented. "Remind me again why you are not one of the Turks."

"I don't like them suits," Dizzle said adjusted his red leaf headband. "Ain't my style, bro. So your girl…she cheatin' on you with this other Turk, yeah?"

"I believe she is," he replied. "I just need hard evidence."

Dizzle eyed him thoughtfully. "And you'll get me my girls?" he asked. "And not hurt their mama?"

"On my honor."

"You're a Shinra…you ain't got no honor."

Rufus' countenance changed completely and he grabbed Dizzle by the collar. "Do not begin to compare me with my father," he spat out. "I am nothing like that man."

"Nah, cuz your Daddy wouldn't have invested more than his dick in one of his employees," Dizzle stated, not at all phased by Rufus' outburst. "You're freakin' obsessed with this chick."

Rufus glared at him, the truth of the words stabbing his heart. "Will you do it?"

"Yeah, yeah, I gotcha on this one, bro. It's cool."

Rufus released the man and straightened out his jacket. He reached into his pocket and handed Dizzle a piece of paper. "Here is the information on both individuals," he said. "Along with one of my personal cell phone numbers. Contact me in two days with an update."

Dizzle took the information and studied it. "You got it, bro," he answered. The former banger eyed Rufus again. "You sure this chick is worth all this?"

"This isn't about her," Rufus snarled. "As far as I'm concerned, the relationship is over. But if my suspicions turn out to be correct, both of them will pay for playing me for a fool."

* * *

**_A/N: You still with me?_**


	78. Operation: FFM Part III

_**A/N: I have to admit, I understand why the original game writers made Rufus such a badass. He is fun as hell to write like that!**_

* * *

Rufus stared at the photos on his laptop, his eyes narrowed to slits. Dizzle had been true to his word. He got Rufus the hard evidence he needed. The photos were very graphic in nature; some might even consider them pornographic. Grinning sadistically, Rufus uploaded them to the Turks internal website anonymously and waited, watching his security monitors closely.

Reno was the first to notice them, naturally. He whistled and laughed, bringing Rude's attention to them. The bald Turk looked at the pictures, a shocked expression covering his face.

Rufus reached over and plugged his ear buds into the audio jack and turned the volume up.

"C'mon, partner," Reno chuckled. "I bet this was from a long time ago. No way Mag's cheating on the prez."

"I should hope not."

A hysterical shriek sounded in Rufus' ears and he flinched, watching as Niki-chan ran out of her office covering her eyes. "Naked Wei, naked Wei, naked Wei! AAAAHHHHH!" she screamed as she ran repeatedly into a wall.

Tseng slammed open his door at the noise. "What in Leviathan is going on out here? Nicole, get back to work, now!"

"But, but…Bossman!" she exclaimed. "There is a naked Wei on my computer screen!"

The Wutain sighed and rubbed his temples. "Nicole, I highly doubt…"

"Sir," Elena said, coming out of her office. "You better see this."

Tseng entered into Elena's office and went to her desk, glancing at her computer screen. "Who put this up?" he asked calmly.

"An anonymous user, Sir," she answered.

"Have Kandi trace the IP address and find out where it came from," he said as he stalked out of her office. "Wei Yao. Magni Zeal. In my office…NOW."

Rufus watched in amusement as the bastard and the cheating slut glanced at each other as they appeared out of Wei's office and followed their leader to his. Tseng shut the door and gestured they have a seat.

"Have you checked the internal website today?" he asked.

Magni shook her head in the negative.

"I have not, Tseng-sama," Wei answered.

Rufus wanted to cut the honorable speech out of him.

Tseng pulled up the photo on his computer and turned the screen toward them. Magni went pale and muttered, "Oh no," under her breath. Wei appeared to be unaffected.

"Care to explain?" Tseng asked.

"You are sleeping with a woman who is a co-worker and a subordinate," Wei replied. "I don't believe we owe you of all people an explanation."

"Considering the fact that one of you," Tseng said as he pointedly glared at Magni. "Is in a relationship with the President of our company, I believe you do owe me of all people an explanation. When was this photo taken?"

Magni looked over at Wei and swallowed hard. "Three days ago."

Rufus smirked and turned his attention to the activity in the IT room. Elena had finally tracked down Kandi and was following her to her work station.

"Can you track it down?" Elena asked.

"Is Rude bald?" Kandi countered, signing on to her computer. "Give me five minutes, tops."

"Take the information straight to Tseng," Elena told her. "I have a feeling it's Reno, stupid jerk."

"More than likely," the red-streaked woman scoffed. "He's always been into the porn."

"Thanks, girl," Elena said, returning to her office.

Rufus doubted it would take Kandi five minutes to figure out the post came from his computer. In fact, when her eyes widened and she spit the mouthful of soda she had in her mouth onto the floor, he couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped his lips. She jumped from her desk and ran to Tseng's office.

Rufus turned back to the surveillance feed of Tseng's office, seeing his ex-lover and her current lover were still in their seats.

"How long has this been going on?" the Wutain leader asked.

"For a while," Magni said weakly.

Wei turned to her and took her hand. "You don't have to explain anything to him, Magni," he told her. "This is between you and I. No one else."

There was a knock on Tseng's door. Rufus knew it was Kandi from the feed from the hall. Tseng rose to his feet and opened the door, letting the head IT Turk in. He turned to Wei and Magni. "You two are excused for now," he told them. "We are not finished with this discussion."

The two adulterers stood and exited the office. Rufus smirked at the look of shame on Magni's face. Wei still had that infuriating calm expression on his. President Shin-ra couldn't wait to change that expression to fear.

Tseng ushered Kandi into the office and closed the door. "Did you track the IP address?" he asked, gesturing for her to take one of the now vacant seats. He sat across from her and laced his fingers together, resting his hands on his desk.

"Yes, Sir," she said, swallowing hard.

"Well?" he prodded. "Who posted that filth? Anyone outside of the Turk family will die for it."

Kandi shook her head. "We can't do that, Sir," she explained. "The computer was in this building, but not this level."

Tseng leaned forward. "Another employee with Shin-ra?" he asked. "Who would have the gall to post something so dangerous about two of my people? They should know their life would become forfeit by doing so."

"Sir," Kandi stammered. "It was posted from President Shin-ra's computer."

Tseng stared at her for a moment then rose to his feet, glancing pointedly at the security camera he knew was in his office. Rufus smiled at the man, even though he knew he couldn't see him.

"Thank you, Kandi. That will be all."

Kandi rose from her seat and exited the office as quickly as she could. Tseng ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. He knocked twice on his desk and glanced up at the security camera again before following her out.

Rufus grinned again. Reaching over, he hit the intercom on his phone to call his secretary. "Amy, when Tseng of the Turks stops by, send him right in. Tell him…I'm expecting him."

* * *

_**A/N: Anyone else think Rufus Shin-ra is a borderline psychopath?**_


	79. Operation: FFM Part IV

_**A/N: This is the second to the last chapter guys. Tomorrow is it.**_

* * *

Tseng entered Rufus' office not ten minutes later, not at all surprised when his secretary told him he was expected.

"Sit down, Tseng," Rufus said calmly, pouring himself a glass of brandy. "Would you care for a drink?"

"Thank you, Sir, but no," Tseng replied evenly.

Rufus sipped from his glass and sat on his couch, gesturing for Tseng to do the same. The Wutain sat precisely at the edge of the couch cushion, turning his attention to his superior.

"I paid a visit to an old friend the other day," Rufus told him, casually. "It turns out he is an exceptional photographer. He loves taking pictures of his daughters, mostly. He recently received full-custody of the little dears. Did you happen to see his work I posted to the Turks website?"

"Sir…"

"Oh, did you not like it?" the President asked in feigned disappointment. "Well, I must admit it was a bit racy for the workplace, but considering your people have fucked each other at least ten times each, it should not have come as such a shock."

Tseng remained silent.

"Your Turks have made a fool of me, Tseng," Rufus remarked coolly. "I do not care to be made to look a fool."

"No, Sir."

"How do you propose we deal with this situation, Tseng?" Rufus asked, setting his glass on a coaster so as not to ruin the expensive coffee table. "Before, when something like this would happen, the offending parties would simply…cease to be."

Tseng glanced at him. "Are you suggesting, Sir, that I eliminate my own people?"

"That's exactly what I'm suggesting."

"Sir, we are no longer _that_ Shin-Ra Company," Tseng stated emphatically. "Everything we have worked toward to clear the Shin-Ra name, to right the wrong done during the Sephiroth crisis, all the work we've done with the WRO…you would throw this away because your girlfriend cheated on you?"

Rufus rose to his feet. "They made me look like a fool!" he roared. He pointed his finger in the Wutain's face. "Deal with this Tseng. Deal with it now, or Odin help me, I will."

Tseng stood to his full height and looked his superior in the eye. "What would you have me do, Sir?" he asked calmly.

"I want Wei Yao dead. I want Magni Zeal dead."

No emotion shone in the black depths. "Yes, Sir."

* * *

The church was the same as it had been for nearly a decade, save for the Lifestream pool in the middle of the flowers. It seemed like such a long time ago when Aerith had been here, hiding from him. He could almost make out the Cetran flower girl tending to her flowers, Zack Fair standing beside her with that cocky smirk on his face.

Tseng shook his head and the vision vanished. He glanced at his watch just as he heard footsteps approaching. Wei and Magni walked into building hand-in-hand. Magni wore her concern in her eyes; Wei's revealed nothing.

"He wants you both dead," Tseng said by way of greeting.

Magni sucked in a breath. "So, this is it then?" she asked. "You'll kill us here?"

"No."

"What then, Tseng-sama?" Wei asked. "Why ask us here if not to carry out his wishes?"

The Turk leader's eyes were pained. "I cannot kill one of my own family," he said softly. "I can't do it. Not for Rufus. Not for anybody."

"Then…what do we do?"

Tseng looked from Wei to Magni and back again. Wei had become like a brother to him. They shared the same heritage, the same values, the same code of honor. "I'll make it look like an accident," he said. "I will tell Rufus that I am sending you out on a mission together. I'll tell him I'll sabotage it myself. He will think you were killed during the mission. But you won't be.

"We'll get you into one of the old reactors in Midgar. I'll ensure there will be reports of drug dealers setting up shop there. We'll get you in, get you in a safe bunker, and blow it up. There will be nothing left of you to find, or so Rufus will think. Once it's all clear and he is satisfied, I'll have you relocated with new names. You'll have to use Disguise materia for the rest of your lives; but at least you'll have your lives."

Wei was nodding his head in agreement and Magni hugged herself. "It sounds dangerous," she whispered.

"We're Turks," Tseng told her. "Everything we do is dangerous."

* * *

Tseng handled everything himself. He didn't want to involve anyone else in his deceit of the president. If he failed, only Magni, Wei, and himself would die. He would be replaced by Reno and the Turks would carry on. If he implicated anyone else, their lives would be over as well.

He visited the reactor site and constructed a bunker. The explosives he created were lined around the perimeter of the reactor and set with a remote detonation device. Small camps were set up inside the reactor to look like someone had been living there. All that remained now was the mission itself.

* * *

"It will look like a complete accident, Sir," Tseng explained. "Once they get inside, I will detonate the explosives and they will be gone. It will look as if the reactor exploded due to a malfunction in the meth labs inside. It will be a tragic loss."

"Excellent. I'll be in the helicopter heading to a press conference. I will see the explosion from the sky."

"Yes, Sir."

* * *

_**A/N: I'll have the final chapter up tomorrow.**_


	80. It Ends

_**A/N: This is it. I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing.**_

* * *

Tseng led the mission himself. His team consisted of Magni, Wei, Elena, Rude, Kandi, and Niki-chan. He realized witnesses were needed to ensure the validity of the 'deaths'.

"Magni, Wei; head into the reactor and see if you can flush them out," Tseng ordered. "We'll stand by as back up."

"Sir!" they responded as they quickly made their way in. So far, it was a typical mission.

Tseng had told them they had three minutes to find the bunker and secure themselves inside before he would detonate the explosives. He checked his watch and heard the helicopter flying overhead. After the allotted time had lapsed, the explosion hit.

"Oh gods!" Elena cried, covering her mouth with her hands. Niki shrieked and covered her ears, diving behind Rude for protection.

"No," Kandi gasped, grasping onto Rude's arm. "Oh gods, what happened?"

Tseng stared in feigned shock, reaching for Elena and drawing her close. "Meth labs," he said quietly. "They are incredibly unstable. One may have exploded and caused a chain reaction inside the reactor."

Tseng's hair and suit jacket began to blow in the wind and he glanced up. The Shin-Ra helicopter was landing near them. Reno set the engine to idle and jumped out, helping Rufus down as well.

"We saw the explosion," Rufus said with concern. "Are all of our people accounted for?"

Tseng shook his head, knowing he needed to get the president and everyone else out of the vicinity so Magni and Wei could make their escape. "No, Sir," he stated. "I'm afraid Wei Yao and…Magni Zeal were inside when the explosion hit."

Reno bolted into the debris. "C'mon partner," he yelled. "We have to check for survivors!"

Tseng panicked. "Reno, no!" he called. "It could still be unstable!"

"Fuck that!" he replied back, Rude catching up to him quickly. "Kandi, scan the area. See if you can find their vitals."

Kandi ran her scanner across the surface of the debris. "There!" she yelled pointing to their left. "Two people are registering on screen! Careful guys! Could be the dealers!"

Rude began moving debris away from the bunker. Rufus glared over at Tseng, an eyebrow arched in question. The normally stoic Wutain could feel his emotions and his plans unraveling.

"It's them!" Reno called, pulling first Magni out and then Wei. He checked them over and then began searching the area with Rude for any signs of the dealers.

Rufus narrowed his eyes at the couple and reached inside his trench coat for his shotgun. They were not supposed to be alive. They deserved to die.

"Magni! Wei!" Niki shrieked excitedly as she ran over to the pair, glad to see her friends were safe.

The president raised the shotgun in his right hand, looking straight at Wei's face and fired. Wei's eyes shot to his as something dropped before him.

Niki hit her knees, a shocked expression covering her face. She looked down at the hole coming from her back to her chest and fell forward. Reno screamed as he watched her fall, leaping over debris and scrambling to her.

"Niki!" he yelled, gathering her up in his arms. "Niki, baby, no, no, no!"

Rufus stared, shocked at the scene before him. "No," he whispered. "No, Niki…no." The shotgun dropped out of his hand and he hit his knees in shock, watching now as Kandi and Rude ran to their fallen comrade.

"Niki-chan!" Kandi shrieked, pressing her hand to the wound, trying to stop the blood. She fumbled with her armlet and activated her Heal materia. The magic washed over Niki, but did nothing to close up the wound. Kandi felt for a pulse in her neck, in her wrist, but found nothing.

"No!" she cried hysterically, switching out her Heal for Full-Life. "Come on, little girl, you can't leave us now! Wake up!"

"Come on, baby, don't you leave me!" Reno was sobbing, pressing his cheek to hers. "Come on, baby. Come on! Niki!"

Niki's eyes fluttered opened momentarily as the spell engulfed her. "Ether!" Kandi cried, reaching out to Rude. "My magic is low!"

Rude passed her all the Ethers he had and she filled her magic a bit. "More!"

"I'm out."

Kandi turned to Reno desperately. He shook his head. She turned to the others. "Ether! We're losing her!"

They gave her all the Ethers they had and she used them, trying to keep Niki alive. But her magic was dying…as so was Niki.

"Reno," the little Turk said weakly. "Thank you for letting me love you."

Reno shook his head and pressed his face into her neck. "Don't talk like that, baby," he whispered. "Come on, you'll be okay."

Niki laughed a little. "I'm clinically insane, Reno…not…bullet proof."

The red-head sobbed again. "I can't let you go, Niki," he whispered. "Not like this."

"It's okay…I liked the Lifestream." She turned to Kandi. "I'll tell Zack 'hi' for you."

Kandi let her tears fall at that. She was losing another of her best friends and she hated it. Wiping her face with her bloody hands, she managed a smile. "You better."

Niki turned back to Reno. "I love you. You're the only one…I ever loved."

Reno bent down and kissed her lips sweetly. When he drew back, Niki was gone. The red-head held her to him and yelled his grief to the gods.

Tseng swallowed hard and turned to Rufus. "You see what your jealously, your pride has cost us?" he growled angrily. He walked over and picked up Rufus' shotgun. "You killed her."

"I was aiming for Wei," Rufus offered quietly. "I never meant for Niki…gods, Niki."

"Yes, Niki," Tseng hissed. "One of my best and brightest. One of my family. Dead. Because of you."

Rufus rose to his feet. "Gods, what have I done?"

* * *

Wei watched the scene before him, guilt consuming him.

"It should have been me," he whispered to himself. "I have dishonored our family, Tseng-sama."

Wei took a deep breath and reached for his sword. Kneeling on the ground in the debris of the reactor, he unsheathed the sword and laid the scabbard before him. Placing the point of his sword at his heart, he whispered, "May my death restore honor to me, to Magni, and to my family, the Turks. Forgive me, Tseng-sama."

Wei took one final breath and fell forward on to the steel.

Magni screamed when she saw him fall, but it was too late. Wei Yao was gone.

* * *

Never had a clean-up crew been called in for two of his own. Rufus had been returned to the Shin-Ra building, expressing deep remorse over the events of the last few weeks. But no amount of remorse could bring back Niki or Wei. Tseng had ordered Revan and Akalara to take Magni to the Northern Continent. He knew her brother was there, searching for her as she had been searching for him. They would meet again and she could hopefully find some measure of peace. Her career with the Turks was over.

Tseng looked at Kandi, his black eyes showing rarely expressed emotion. "I know you can find anything on anybody, anywhere," he stated, his voice barely an octave above a whisper. "However, what I'm asking you to do is to lose someone…completely. Can you do that?"

Kandi nodded, her filthy, tear-streaked face a mix of dirt and blood. "She'll be gone in less than forty-five seconds, Sir."

The Wutain inclined his head in acknowledgement, turning to the gurney lifting the body bag containing Wei's remains onto the stretcher. "It's the least I can do for him," he murmured. "To know the one he loved is safe…he can rest peacefully. Magni Zeal will fade into obscurity forever."

Kandi closed her handheld and gave him a curious look. "Magni who…Sir?"

Tseng couldn't help the smile that came to his face. "Thank you."

* * *

Reno climbed into the chopper, the pretty little urn containing Niki's ashes tucked safely into his bag. He'd take them to the place where they were happiest for a time, when they first became a couple.

"Hang on, baby," Reno said as he switched on the chopper. "I told you I'd take you back to Costa del Sol someday. Time to make good on that promise."

* * *

**_A/N: And...that's it. Reno goes to Costa del Sol to spread Niki's ashes along the beach. He meets up with Yuffie there and that is where 'What Happens in Costa del Sol' happens. I may revamp that story to better tie it in with this. Thank you to everyone who has followed/favorited/reviewed this story. Six-years later and it's finished._**


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